


A Critical Situation

by ShutUpAndPaddle



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 140,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShutUpAndPaddle/pseuds/ShutUpAndPaddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judge Ratner takes things into his own hands after failing to do any real damage. His intentions on severely hurting Horatio are met with a devastating out come.</p><p>Story 9</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A few weeks after being trapped in the rigged building, Horatio and Zoë hadn’t received any more messages from a certain judge. They were still working on the case, despite its closure.  
Horatio called Zoë round on Thursday evening after a particularly stressful day at work. She arrived and Horatio greeted her at the door with an affectionate kiss. He hung her jacket up and he then took her by the hand through to the dining room.  
“Wow, Horatio! Seriously?” She said as she walked in, Horatio put his hands around her waist as he stood behind her and began to softly kiss at her neck. She looked at the candles and the roses placed around the table with a wide smile, overwhelmed.  
“All for you beautiful” he whispered quietly in her ear.  
“You… you are full of surprises.” She said as she turned around and placed her hands on his face and planted a very delicate, affectionate kiss on his lips.  
“Thank you.” She said sincerely as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They kissed again, Horatio then broke from the kiss and gently spun her around and seated her. He disappeared and came back with two plates. He placed one down in front of Zoë.  
“You know there’s not many times where I’m lost for words… I’m completely lost…” She said with a shocked grin as he sat down himself.  
“Thank you handsome.” She said with a smile as she reached over and tenderly squeezed his hand.  
“Enjoy.” Horatio said softly. They ate, discussing many things.  
They cleared up and then went through to the living room.  
“Turn around for me please, beautiful.” He said softly as she looked at him, tilting her head looking at him confused. She smiled at him then turned around, he stepped up behind her then placed a necklace around her neck, Zoë gasped as he did the clasp up. She turned around to him looking down at the necklace. She looked up at him. She opened her mouth but nothing came out, she was completely shocked. She looked at the silver necklace, studying the charm – two hearts, one in the other.  
“That’s okay sweetheart.” He said softly knowing what she wanted to say but unable to say it.  
A few seconds later “Horatio… thank you” fell out of her mouth sincerely looking into both of his eyes.  
“My pleasure” He said as he placed his hands on her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. She kissed him softly then parted her lips and seductively bit his lip. He sat her down as they kissed. He placed his left hand on the side of her face as his right found her knee. She placed her left on his shoulder with her right behind his neck. Their tongues began to dance in their mouths and Horatio slowly slid his hand up Zoë’s inner thigh. It drove her crazy; suddenly she got up without breaking the kiss and straddled him on the sofa.  
He ran his hands up her thighs and then un-tucked her shirt. He slid his hands up her shirt and placed them on her waist. She ran her hands through his hair a few times before beginning to unbutton his shirt from the top. As she did that he began to unbutton hers from the bottom. They both warmly kissed each other as their hands wandered. Horatio slid his hands in her shirt and around her waist as he pulled her in and tightly embraced her. The fabric from her bra was driving him crazy; he wanted it off there and then.  
She pulled back slightly and let her hands run over his strong chest. His hands slid down and rested on her hips as he pulled her in towards him more. His hands then drifted around the rim of her trousers and found the clasp at the top on the front. He undone them and pulled the zip down. His fingers traced the top of her knickers as she sat back on him as she continued to let her tongue dance along with his, her hands travelled down south and met with the buckle of his belt and quickly had it undone. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pressed her body against his. Behind his head she began to take off her aircast as she felt it was getting in the way. He heard something pop.  
“What… was… that?” He questioned between kisses.  
“Nothing for… you to… worry… about.” She said as she kissed him and then bit his lip as she let the cast drop to the floor. He broke from the kiss and glanced back, to see what had fallen.  
“Don’t worry about it handsome.” She said softly. He turned back to look at her.  
“You need to put that back on.” He said raising his eyebrows.  
“I don’t think so. I’m fine without it.” She said with a smile.  
“You’ve not taken it off before.” He said as he held on to her waist.  
“We’ve not really done anything… active since I got it.” She said raising her eyebrow as she sat back on his thighs.  
“That’s not true.” He said giving her a small wink and she bit her lip at him with a cheeky grin.  
“Well, it’s gotten in the way before and I’m fed up of it.” She said looking into his deep blue eyes.  
“Honey, you need to stop worrying about me, I know my limits.” She said with a smile.  
“Yes, but you have a tendency to push those limits.” He said with a boyish smile. She sighed, raising an eyebrow at him.  
“It’s getting in the way and you don’t know your limits unless you push them.” She said as she got off him and sat next to him. “Look, it’s fine.” Zoë said holding her wrist up. Horatio just looked at her with raised eyebrows, willing her to put it back on.  
“Don’t worry about it” she said softly as she walked around the sofa and picked the cast up and dropped it next to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he took in her scent, he rested his head back on the sofa to look at her standing behind him. She bent down and placed an upside down delicate kiss on his lips as her hands gently crept up to his neck as she held his jaw line. She then dropped them back then down to his chest as she continued to kiss him.  
“See… I’m… fine.” She said smiling as he placed his hands over hers. She kissed the corner of his mouth and then made her way to his neck. She gently massaged his neck with her lips.  
‘I shouldn’t allow her to do this, but I don’t think I have the power to resist…’ Horatio thought to himself as he felt her soft lips massage his neck.  
She ran her smooth hands over his strong chest with his hands over hers as she took a breath and leant completely over him. He just stared straight up at her breasts which hovered in the bra just inches from his face. His mouth dropped open and he was under her spell, he was completely entranced and nothing was going to pull him back from it.  
She unbuttoned his trousers and unzipped the zip. Then as she leant back, she kissed at his chest as she tenderly ran her fingertips over is chest. He began to kiss her chest and she then made her way up to his neck. He gently bit at her neck, ever so lightly and it turned her on like no end. She wiggled her hips and her trousers fell to the floor. She stopped kissing him and he opened his eyes and watch her sway her hips as she walked around the sofa. She stood in front of him with a grin splayed across her face.  
“Now…” She said as she played with the pink lace that clung to her hip. “Are you going to help me find those limits?” She said with a cheeky smile as he reached out and pulled her on to him, she straddled him again. He opened his mouth but nothing came out, he was still captivated in her voluptuousness. She grinned at him, knowing she had him.  
His hand ran through her luxuriously soft hair and gently pulled her head in towards his to plant a tender kiss on her lips. With his other hand he caressed her smooth skin around her waist, his fingertips coasted around her back, giving her goose bumps. Her tongue invaded his mouth and their tongues played like two children in a new play area.  
He seemed to grow more, if it was even possible and she felt him press hard against her. They craved the feeling of each other; their desires quickly grew out of control as the anticipation heightened. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he began to stand up as he held her legs around his waist. She locked her ankles together around his tight ass after his trousers fell to his ankles. He stepped out of them and began to slowly walk out of the living room; knowing his way around his home perfectly, he didn’t even need to open his eyes.  
They carried on smooching as he walked through the house to the bottom of the stairs where he gently pushed her against the wall and she tightened her legs around his waist pulling his hardness against her more forcefully. They both groaned in pleasure as they both gently nibbled at each other’s lips. Horatio pulled her off the wall after he had adjusted his grip on her and began to carefully climb the stairs. He opened his bedroom door and flicked on the wall lights and then kicked the door shut after him.  
She pushed his shirt off as he kicked the duvet off to the side and then gently laid her on the bed and climbed on top of her. They both crawled back and Zoë rested her head on his pillow and took in his scent. She pulled him on to her and began kissing him, they then rolled over and she straddled him as she sat up and rocked her hips to tease him. He groaned in pleasure and sat up gently pushing the shirt off her shoulders and putting it on the floor beside the bed. He ran his fingertips from her shoulders, down through the middle of her breasts and around her stomach to her back and up to the bra clasp. Her skin tingled under his touch and she put her hands on his waist and gently kissed at the side of his neck. He then gently massaged her neck with his lips and tongue as they lost themselves in each other’s embrace. He slowly pulled her bra off as their mouths delicately connected and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed him down on the bed as she sat back up and brushed her fingertips over his chest as he watched her seductively bite her bottom lip.  
His hands rested on her knees and travelled up to meet her hips. His eyes travelled down to her plump breasts as they moved slowly, his eyes moved down lower onto the flat planes of her stomach and then to the lacy trim around her hips. His eyes moved back up as her fingertips met the waist band of his boxers.  
No words were said, but communication was far from silent. He watched her luxurious chocolate brown eyes as they focused on her hands gently pulling at his boxers. She moved down and sat on his thighs as she pulled the boxers slowly over his blood-gorged self as his hands slid back down to her knees. It teased him to no end and he lightly moaned as the fabric brushed over him. She lifted herself up from his thighs, pulled the boxers off and threw them off the bed. She kept herself lifted as she slowly crawled back up to him and planted her hands either side of his shoulders, putting more weight on her right arm.  
She hovered her head above his and gave him the cheekiest smile he’d ever seen her broadcast, bringing a boyish grin to his as he ran his hands up the outside of her thighs and pulled the lace from her hips, feeling the convoluted detail of the lace. He then ran his left hand up around her back and traced her spine with his fingertips as his right hand caressed the smooth skin on her waist. He pulled her down on to him and then rolled her over.  
She yelped playfully with a brilliant grin. He pulled her underwear off in one smooth move and crawled back up, planting his lips on hers as they wildly kissed at each other. Horatio began to kiss at her neck as she ran her hands through his hair and fingertips over his back. He lost himself with her and accidently mouthed a little too hard, but she didn’t seem to care, she seemed to like it in fact. He knew he’d done it too hard and regretted it immediately but carried on as she groaned at him for more.  
‘Keep yourself under control, she’s delicate... and resplendent… and sensual and don’t forget amorous… and she’s all mine.’ Horatio scolded himself for being too rough with her but ended up trailing off as he lost himself in her eyes. With his right hand he began to gently massage her breast, causing a low moan to escape from her throat. She pushed her head into the pillow as her mind went into a frenzy as sensations rolled out from beneath his hands and mouth.  
“Horatio” she let out a small desperate whine as he gently flicked her hardened nipple with his tongue. He consumed her breast with his mouth as she pressed her head further into the pillow. He rolled her nipple very gently between his teeth as his fingertips gently pinched at her other nipple. Her legs fell to the bed as total ecstasy flooded her head, full of sensations. Seeing her experience the pleasure he was giving her turned him on to the point of no control.  
He began to kiss the middle of her chest as he ran his hands over her stomach and waist, taking in the extremely soft skin. He ran his hands down her thighs and wrapped his hands around the back of her knees as he pulled her already weak legs up. He spread his fingers as he slowly ran his hands down her inner thighs, teasing her. Once he got to the top of her legs he ran his fingertips over her thigh and then back up to her stomach. His mouth then engulfed her other breast as she sharply inhaled. His left hand then found the other breast as he ran his fingers through her long brown silky hair. Low moans left both of their throats as they lost themselves in the moment.  
“Horatio” she moaned with need, she could no longer bare him teasing her so much and she pulled him up and planted her lips on his. Her tongue entered his mouth almost immediately and they felt each other’s urgency. She felt him press his hard warmth against her, intensifying the pleasure as anticipation amplified. He ran her hands through his hair and down his neck as her breathing became completely erratic. He could feel her unravelling beneath him and he wanted the moment to last longer. He rubbed himself against her wet entrance, driving them insane as desire raged through their bloodstreams.  
“Horatio!” She yelped from beneath him as she threw her head back in the pillow, her desire was growing out of control and she knew she couldn’t last much longer. He began to kiss her neck as he continued to rub himself against her, teasing them both, wondering how far they could go before mania overcame the both of them and they could no longer wait for it. They both groaned loudly as he forcefully rubbed himself against her, causing them both to gasp in the amount of pleasure they received.  
“Zo” he groaned lowly as his voice vibrated across her chest.  
“Horatio ahh” she gasped breathless. She moved her hands down and placed them firmly on his waist and felt like she couldn’t wait any longer. She needed him, there and then and he felt like he couldn’t wait any longer. She held onto his waist with her left hand as she ran her right through his hair pulling him forcefully towards her as they wildly kissed, breathing erratically through their noses. He rubbed his hard length against her again, then slowly pushed his tip into her hot, moist entrance, causing them to break from the kiss and gasp as he then drove the rest of his length into her, pulling nearly all the way out and then back into her again, deeply.  
They uncontrollably kissed at each other, gently biting at each other’s lips, lovingly looking into each other’s eyes. Horatio then began to gently bite at her neck and her skin tingled as she swapped hands, and ran her left through his hair and her right on his hip, forcing him to thrust into her harder, penetrating deeply. She then ran her hand up his back and placed her hand on his neck as she then pulled his head up and planted a steamy kiss on his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. Their chests brushed against each other, their nipples rousing to the sensation of their chests grind, sending more sensations to their brains. He drove into her again and again, getting more forceful and faster as the pleasure almost became pain, they had reached a new level of pleasure. Her wrist was hurting and twinging, but she couldn’t careless, what she was experiencing with Horatio was completely exhilarating and it quickly drowned out the feeling of pain. They ached for each other as they moaned out loud and groaned each other’s names. Horatio could feel the muscle walls around his length begin to tighten and contract and he knew she was close. He could feel himself coming close to climaxing as well.  
“Oh my gosh Horatio, Horatio!” She whined as she pulled his hips in closer and rocked her hips, heightening the sensations to a point where they simply thought that it could not get any better. Her muscle walls continued to involuntary contract around his length, causing them both to groan wildly. They broke from the kiss as their brains could not simply comprehend the kissing along with the pleasure. He drove into her again and her walls contracted hard around him as they looked into each other’s eyes. They both began to climax together as they moaned each other’s names and groaned indistinguishable noises. She gripped onto his sides with force.  
“Horatio! Oh my gosh Horatio!” Zoë began to almost scream, not being able to control her voice.  
“Zoë! Ughhh Zo!” Horatio moaned and then let out a long groan as he continued to drive into her.  
She groaned long and hard as her body started to writhe in unbelievable amounts of pleasure beneath his. Her chest heaved as almost every muscle in her body contracted and relaxed and then contracted again. Complete ecstasy surged through their bodies as they moved together. Her muscle walls contracted hard around him as he erupted into her as he let out a long, loud groan as the driving of his hips began to slow after that. They both collapsed on the bed, Horatio on top of Zoë, still leaning on his elbows, supporting his weight.  
“That… that was special” he said softly as he began to roll off her. But as he rolled, so did Zoë, keeping him inside her.  
“You can say that again.” She said against his lips as she delicately kissed him, both of them still out of breath. She broke from the kiss and looked into his bright blue eyes and gave him another cheeky smile as she sat up and bit her lip. He saw that mischievous look in her eyes again and wondered what she was thinking. She tilted her head at him and her cheeky grin grew. She planted her hands on his chest to prevent him from sitting up and she began to rock her hips in a slow smooth motion, causing pleasure to rivet through their bodies again. He pushed his head back into the pillow closing his eyes as the sensations once again filled his head.  
“You… you are naughty.” He moaned as his body writhed along with hers as she threw her head back. His hands gripped onto her thighs. His chest rose from his erratic breathing, causing her wrist to twinge so she let go of him with her left hand and gently ran her fingertips over his stomach. Their heads span together as Zoë grinded her hips against his slowly. It wasn’t long before they were both moaning out each other’s names again. Zoë arched her back as she leant over him and began to kiss at his chest. She sucked at parts and then moved over to his taught nipples, driving him insane. She began to rock her hips a little more roughly. She ran her hands up to his neck and into his hair as his ran up her stomach and gently cupped both of her breasts, massaging at them. She moaned as her mouth connected with his and she began to rock her hips a little more violently, and the pleasure doubled. Her muscles began to contract around him again and they were both close to orgasm again. They groaned as Zoë sat back up, keeping him down by planting her right hand on his chest. The pleasure she was experiencing was drowning out the pain in her wrist as she continued to ignore it. They both climaxed again and then Zoë’s body fell against Horatio’s as they lay there catching their breath.  
He gently caressed her back with his fingertips as she lay on him as their chests moved together, rising and falling. She ran her right hand through his hair and massaged his head as they gave each other another loving, long kiss. They broke from the kiss and she rolled over on to her back, and he exited her, sending pleasure surging through them again. He watched her stomach muscles contract as her body received the sensation; she looked over at him as his soft blue eyes connected with hers and they both exchanged a knowing smile. They lay there for a few minutes, catching their breath, silently telling each other how much love they had for one another.  
“I’m going to go for a shower handsome.” She said as she rolled over and gave him a sweet kiss.  
“You left your underwear over here once; I washed them and put them in that draw, ready for the next time.” He said with a cheeky smile.  
“I thought I had lost them, thank you handsome.” She said as she gave him another kiss. She picked up his shirt from the floor over his side of the bed and put it on, she picked up her underwear from the draw and disappeared into the bathroom with a cheeky smile. He put his boxers back on and a pair of joggers and went downstairs and picked up their trousers and tidied a little. He came back up and picked out one of his shirts and gave it to her as she opened the bathroom door.  
“Your turn” she said as she passed him, stroking his chest along the way. She buttoned up the shirt most of the way and walked downstairs to get her aircast as her wrist was beginning to hurt her quite a lot. She looked around but couldn’t find it ‘I swear I put it on the sofa?’ she thought.  
She went back up stairs and Horatio walked out of the bathroom in his night pants, drying his hair.  
“Have you seen my cast?” She asked as he looked up at her standing there in his shirt which was far too big for her.  
“Didn’t you put it on the sofa?” He asked as his eyes dropped from her face, to her thighs and then back up to her face with a smile. “Yeah, don’t worry, I’ll have another look.” She said knowing that she shouldn’t have taken it off. He followed her downstairs and also looked for it, he eventually found it.  
“Ah! Thank you handsome, it must have fallen off the sofa while we… had some fun.” She said with a cheeky smile as he handed it to her. She got the pump out of her hand bag and re-inflated the air bags. Her wrist began to feel a lot better once it was being strapped and supported.  
“Bed?” Horatio asked.  
“Again?” She said with a cheeky smile as she walked over to him.  
“You know what I mean.” He said with a boyish smile as he placed his hand on her lower back, she chuckled a little and nodded at him with a wide grin.  
“How’s your wrist feeling?” He asked, a little worried.  
“It’s fine.” She said with a smile as they headed up the stairs after turning the lights off.  
They climbed into bed and said goodnight to each other.  
The next morning Horatio woke as Zoë began to moan in her sleep and fidgeted a lot, she pushed her face into his shoulder as her body tensed. Horatio could see the distress on her face. She woke, breathing heavily, then calmed once she knew where she was. A smile appeared across her face as Horatio put his arm around her and pulled her in as she snuggled up to him. He turned his head and delicately kissed her forehead.  
“Morning beautiful” he said huskily as she rubbed her leg up against his.  
“Morning handsome” she replied with a sleepy smile. Her left arm was resting over his stomach as he gently stroked her arm with his fingertips above the cast. A grin appeared across her face and she then placed a light kiss on his cheek.  
“Right handsome, I’m going to go for my run and shower, and I’ll see you at work. Oh, and thank you for a wonderful evening” she said as she leant over him and gave him a tender kiss.  
“And thank you… for sharing that wonderful evening.” He said with a small grin as she kissed him again. He gently cupped her face with his left hand as his right gently stroked her back.  
“That run… is calling… my… name.” She said between butterfly kisses.  
“And… so am… I.” He said with a small cheeky smile as they kissed. She placed her left hand on his chest as she gently pushed off him. She climbed out of bed, picked up her shirt and trousers and disappeared into the bathroom. She reappeared buttoning up her shirt and walked around to Horatio who was just getting out of bed. He stood up and they embraced each other giving each other a loving kiss.  
“I’ll see you later handsome.” She said softly as she broke from the kiss.  
“Indeed you shall beautiful.” He said huskily with her still in his arms.  
“You kind of need to let me go if I’m going to leave.” She said with a cheeky grin.  
“I don’t think I can.” He said with a small smile. She placed her right hand on the side of his face and placed a long warm kiss on his lips and his grip loosened around her waist.  
“There you go handsome.” She said as he released her.  
“I’ll see you later.” She said as she turned and gently swept her hand across his chest.  
“I’ll see you then beautiful.” He said as he watched her walk out of the room, completely mesmerised by the sway of her hips. He shook his head and then headed out of the room and went downstairs and picked her jacket up; he held it up for her to put her arms in.  
“Thank you handsome.” She said as she turned and swept her hair out of the back of the jacket. She put her shoes on and leaned in to kiss him once more.  
They broke from the kiss as Horatio ran his hand through her hair; a red mark caught his eyes on the base of her neck on the right.  
“Sweetheart, you may want to wear a high-collar today” he said as he gently ran his fingers over it, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry” he said looking up at her. She brought her hand up and placed her hand over his, she touched the area with her fingertips.  
“Not a problem handsome, you’re just going to have to have some payback later” she said with a cheeky grin, giving him a wink. He let out a small laugh as he exhaled with a very big boyish grin appearing across his face.  
“I’ll see you later, I love you” she said as she planted a quick peck on his lips and he dropped his hand from the love-bite on her neck.  
“I love you” he said back as he gave her a smile.  
They exchanged a smile and she opened the door. She got home and changed into her running gear. Horatio did the same.  
Zoë then got a distinct gut feeling that something wasn’t right. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she carried on with her usual routine and got ready for her run.


	2. Chapter 2

She went out into her back garden and walked out of the gate, firmly shutting it after she stepped out onto the beach. She looked around and observed the sky, the sun hadn’t come over the horizon yet, but the atmosphere was illuminated with its light. She smiled up at the sky and then scanned the beach, seeing a few joggers out. She began to jog up the beach at a steady pace when a man appeared behind her; he was jogging about 35 yards behind Zoë. She looked back when she heard him behind her and then carried on. Horatio also went out for a jog; he saw the joggers running up and down the beach and decided to go up the beach, his eyes focused on two people in the short distance. He saw the cast on the woman’s left arm.   
‘Ah, that’s Zoë.’ He thought to himself. She heard the man behind her getting closer to her and she moved to the left and began to jog in the middle of the beach.   
‘What’s she doing?’ Horatio thought to himself watching her beginning to jog in the middle of the beach when she always jogged at the edge. He then saw the man behind her follow her to the middle of the beach. Horatio’s eyebrows rose and he began to turn on the heat and began to sprint over to her as she casually jogged.   
‘Who is this creep?’ Zoë thought to herself as she looked back a few times, taking note of his features. She saw Horatio running up the beach; she casually turned around and began to run down the beach along the edge. She acted calm, not alerting the male who seemed to be following her. He began to slow down and acted like he was catching his breath, he turned around and casually jogged back down the beach towards Zoë. Horatio saw this man jogging towards them. Zoë and Horatio were getting closer to each other when Zoë gestured to him to turn around. Horatio began to slow down as Zoë reached him.  
“Just carry on running with me please.” She said quietly and casually. They began to jog together slowly. Horatio looked back and the strange man was just turning off and began to jog down a path leading to the road.   
“Are you okay?” He asked as they jogged.   
“Yeah, he was just a little creepy.” She said looking at him as they jogged.   
“How long had he been following you for?” Horatio asked as they slowed and began to walk.   
“He seemed to come out of no-where just after I had begun to jog. You know it’s weird, before I went out I had a strange feeling.” She said giving him a confused look.   
“Okay, we’re… we’re going to have a look around your house in that case. Where is your gun?” Horatio asked as they walked down the beach, their eyes continuously scanning the beach, in front and behind them.   
“Where I always put it, on the table by the front door. My spare is in my draw up stairs, the rest are in the safe.” She said looking over to him briefly.   
“No-one could have got into my house, the security system is linked to my phone, it would alert me if anyone had entered or even if a window had been smashed. The system senses when my phone is out of the house.” She said as she pulled the phone out of her sports bra. Horatio looked at her confused as she pulled it out and looked at the phone.   
“I have no pockets, so I keep my phone in my bra.” She said with a smile and chuckled at his expression.   
“I… I see.” He said with a small smile as he looked back up at her.  
“Anyway, you’ve seen the security in my house. Nothing happens without me knowing it.” She said as she checked the security on her phone.   
“Nope, nothing’s been accessed.” She said as she put her phone away back in her bra. Horatio stopped her.  
“What if someone got in while you were in the house? Your phone wouldn’t alert you then…” He said looking at her, and then scanned the area.   
“You need combinations to get in from any of the doors that lead to the outside and even the back garden gate. All the windows are locked.” She said pulling her phone out again.   
“Look, all the windows and doors are locked.” She said as she showed him the screen.  
“Okay, well I just want to check, okay?” Horatio said softly.   
“Okay handsome.” She said as they began to jog again. They got to her back garden gate and she put the code in. She opened it and shut it after Horatio walked in after her. They walked past the pool and got to the back door where Zoë placed her thumb on the print pad and then put another code in the key pad.  
“I didn’t realise the security was this tight.” Horatio said with a smile now feeling a lot better about the situation. She opened the door and Horatio rushed past her and entered first. Zoë closed the door after them and put the password in on the screen by the back door as Horatio stood with his hands on his hips, observing the place.   
“Nope, no doors or windows have been opened in the last 12 hours except for when I had come in and gone out.” She said turning to him.   
“Come here.” She said softly as she tapped a few buttons on the touch screen. He walked over to her as she gently took his hand and she placed it on the screen. He looked at her curiously, completely trusting her. She pulled his hand off.   
“Welcome Horatio.” A woman’s voice said as it radiated throughout the house. “Mute.” Zoë said and the system went silent.  
“Now you have your own identity to the house.” She said with a small smile.   
“You just need the codes, but obviously, don’t write them down and don’t tell anyone.” She said with a soft voice. He looked at her feeling completely at ease, very happy to know that the house is so protected.   
“Now, you know the front door code. The back is: 6376, the back gate is: 2941. You saw the finger scanner out the back; that will read your finger prints and identify you, you then need to hold the back door handle in a certain way, as there is also a hidden finger scanner in the handle, it’s the same on the front door. However, if the key is used in the front door, the finger printing is only used to identify the user. You can enter the house now without the key, just place your fingers over the handle correctly and it will let you in.” She said with a smile. “The system will register you when you enter, it’s interactive but I generally keep her on silent because it can get a little annoying, I can activate it at any time, to check the status of the house or even to double check that the windows and doors are locked.” She said with a big smile, knowing the more information she gave Horatio about it, the more his mind will ease.   
“Well, I have to say, my mind is almost completely at ease now.” He said softly smiling at her.   
“I’m curious though… why do you have such a system?” He asked.  
“Because, it makes me feel safe, and there’s a lot of people out there that would love to get into my house and have tried plenty of times, some have succeeded. There are some people out there that would love to see me 6 feet under.” She said as she locked the screen.   
“I know the feeling.” Horatio said with a small smile, she smiled at him.  
“I need that shower now. Thank you handsome.” She said as she placed a tender kiss on his dry lips.   
“No problem, give me a call if you need anything.” Horatio said with a smile as he kissed her back. He left through the back door and shut it after him and jogged down the beach, still scanning the area. He got back to his house, had a shower and got ready for work. Zoë did the same; she got dressed in her black suit with high waisted trousers with a red silk shirt. She looked at her new necklace in the mirror and smiled, she then sorted her hair and make-up, she pulled her jacket on over the cast and sorted it out. She stood back and got the same bad gut instinct.   
She didn’t know whether to ignore it or take notice.


	3. Chapter 3

Zoë decides to take notice of the warning she was getting. She walks into her kitchen and pulls her phone out of her pocket and dials Horatio’s number.   
“Horatio?” She asked as he picked the phone up.  
“Yes, are you okay beautiful?” He asked growing concerned, hearing the tone in her voice.   
“Yeah… I’ve just got a really bad feeling–” She started to say.  
“I’m on my way over.” He said as he put the phone down and started the ignition in his car, he was just about to pull away to work when he received her call. Zoë put her phone in her bra as a habit, without thinking. He pulled out of his drive and straight onto hers. He knocked on the door and she checked it was him before opening. She let him in and they walked through to the kitchen.   
“Are you okay?” Horatio asked.   
“Yeah, I just have a really bad feeling about something; I can’t even put my finger on it.” She said confused herself.   
“Okay sweetheart, can you describe anything to me? I know your instincts are pretty much top notch.” Horatio said leaning on the island counter.   
“I don’t know, it feels as though someone’s watching the house. I mean that jogger this morning just came out of no-where and happened to jog just behind me…” She said lowering her eyebrows.   
“I think I know what you mean.” Horatio said getting the same feeling, he looked around.  
“Have you checked the windows?” He asked.   
“Yes.” She said feeling uneasy.   
“Double checked?” Horatio asked putting his hands on his hips.   
“Skyler, set volume to 5. Secure windows and doors.” Zoë said as she seemed to be addressing the house.   
“Secured” the voice said softly. Horatio looked around a little shocked.   
“I told you she was interactive.” Zoë said smiling at Horatio.   
“’She’s’ got a name?” Horatio asked, looking around on high alert.  
“Yes, otherwise how will I address her?” Zoë said with a smile.   
“You’re still full of surprises. How come I never knew this before? I knew you had security, but not to this extent.” Horatio asked looking at her surprised.   
“Well, you never asked. You had seen the screens before, but never asked what they were for. She’s usually always on silent, so you wouldn’t have heard her. I also don’t like to broadcast the fact that I have a high-tech security system, I like to give any potential intruder the shock of their life.” Zoë said with a small smile.   
“What else have you got up your sleeves?” Horatio asked with a small smile.   
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” She said with a smile.   
“Skyler, scan premises” she addressed loudly as Horatio stared up at her.   
“Zoë, there is an unknown car on the drive, shall I inform the authorities?” The gentle voice asked.  
“No, that is Horatio’s car.” She said loudly.   
“Horatio’s car is logged.” The voice said.   
“Thank you. Mute.” She said loudly then looked back to Horatio. ‘He’s definitely not going to worry about me being alone in the house ever again.’ She thought to herself.   
“Everything seems to be in order.” She said looking at him, seeing his confused expression. Horatio looked at her in awe.   
“It’s basically a clever computer.” He said looking at her.   
“Pretty much, she’s linked into the house. You’ve not seen the half of her yet.” She said with a smile. “Do you mind if I ride with you? I still feel a little uneasy.”   
“Certainly sweetheart, shall we go?” Horatio asked with a small smile.   
‘I’m being stupid, I know I am. He probably thinks I’m crazy.’ She said to herself and then gave him a nod and picked her bag up, attached her badge and ID on to her trousers, then placed her gun into the holster. They got out and Zoë secured the house and they walked over to Horatio’s car. Both of their bad feelings multiplied. It was early morning and there was no-one around, not particularly strange for that time of the morning, but it still felt eerie.   
“Let’s just get to work.” She said as they went to plug their seatbelts in. Suddenly both of the front side windows smashed. They both pulled their guns out and scanned the area. They slowly got out of the car and walked around to the back and met each other, both scanning in different directions.   
“I don’t see anything, do you?” Zoë said with her shoulder touching his, trying to keep bodily contact with him.   
“No.” He said taking his sunglasses off and holding them by his gun. Zoë stepped back feeling something sharp sting her neck. Horatio felt the jolt and turned around and saw Zoë reach for her neck. She pulled out what seemed to be a tranquiliser dart.   
“Horatio” she said as his eyes focused on the dart, she threw the dart underneath one of the cars.  
“Skyler, alert–” Zoë’s body fell to the floor when Horatio also felt the sharp sting penetrate his neck as he tried to stop her from hitting the floor hard, her gun fell to the floor along with her. He too pulled out the dart and took one last look around before he hit the floor, dropping his gun. A van pulled up outside Zoë’s house and two large men jumped out and dragged the both of them into the van.


	4. Chapter 4

Horatio began to come around roughly 45 minutes after the situation arose. He blinked his eyes to clear the fuzziness. He was slumped against a wall, his hands bound to a pole with some rope.   
‘Zoë?’ He first thought to himself. He looked around, he saw the sun beams coming through the window causing glare and impairing his still fuzzy sight. His eyes focused on a deep red colour at the other side of the room. He blinked clearing his eyes and he saw Zoë also slumped against the wall, with her right hand tied to a pole.   
‘Oh my! Zoë!’ He thought as he saw the dried blood down the side of her face where her head had obviously hit the floor when she fell. Horatio frantically looked around studying his surroundings. He noticed the camera on the ceiling of the room. It was a dark room, with no proper flooring, just old dirty floorboards. The dark green wallpaper was mostly ripped off.   
“Zoë, Zoë?” Horatio said trying to rouse her, but not wanting to alert anyone who could potentially be watching them. He began to pull on the ropes; he managed to loosen them a little and slipped one hand out. Zoë began to pick her head up and rested it against the wall behind her; she blinked her eyes a few times and focused on Horatio. Horatio managed to get his other hand free.  
“Horatio?” She whispered as he quietly walked over to her lowly.   
“Yes, are you okay sweetheart?” He asked whispered as he untied her wrist.   
“Yeah, you?” He said bringing his left hand up to her head. He crouched down to her, getting a look at the wound on her head. He placed his hands either side of her head, making sure she was okay.  
“Yeah” he quietly said looking around again. She briefly looked around, taking in the surroundings and noises. She noted the camera up in the corner. She looked back over to Horatio and saw that he had dried blood down his face.   
“Are you sure?” She asked.   
“Yeah” he said as he felt for his gun, dropping his hands. She did the same. She remembered that she had put her phone in her bra and that there was the possibility that it was still there. She reached down her top with her right hand and pulled her phone out. Horatio’s eyebrows rose as a smile appeared across his face. She pulled up the messages and began to quickly message Ryan.   
‘Track me.’ She simply put and sent when 2 large men burst in. Horatio stood up and looked at them with his hands on his hips. Zoë rose to her feet, holding the phone behind her back as she stood with a strong stance. Both Horatio and Zoë observed the two large men taking a mental note of their features and clothes.   
“You… you were at the beach this morning.” Zoë said lowly, recognising one of the men. Horatio looked over at Zoë as she lowered her eyebrows at them.   
“You were lucky this morning, you messed up the plan, but it just so turns out that it worked out even better.” The same guy said. He was very well built, roughly 6ft3, with dark brown hair. She studied the other man as he spoke. He was just as tall and big, but had blonde hair.   
“Who are you?” Horatio asked lowly.   
“You’re a smart man, you do the math.” The blonde said as he dropped his arms.   
“What’s that in your hands Detective Chambers?” The brown haired man said.  
“None of your business” she snapped at him. He took a step closer to them when Horatio took a step in front of Zoë.   
“I’d back off.” Horatio warned lowly with his hands on his hips, looking at the floor just in front of the man’s feet.  
“And what are you going to do about it?” The brown one snarled.   
“Stop you… if I have to.” He said glaring up at him.   
The brown haired guy walked up to Horatio and took a swing at him, Horatio blocked the fist and took his own swing and caught him in the jaw. The brown haired man backed off while he rubbed his jaw. The blonde took his own swing at Horatio but again he blocked and took his own only to be blocked by the man. He saw the blonde grow angry as he took another swing at Horatio to be greeted by a punch from Horatio in the ribs as the blonde caught Horatio in the ribs also. Before Horatio had the time to recover he felt himself being restrained by the blonde as he pulled Horatio’s arms up his back. The blonde pushed him up against the wall as the brown haired man took a step closer to Zoë, having recovered. She stood her ground.  
“You probably want to see this.” The blonde snarled at Horatio as he turned Horatio around to view Zoë.  
“Are you watch–” The brown haired man began to say and was cut off by Zoë forcefully bringing up her right leg and fully kicked him in his crotch. As he began to double over and his head got to Zoë’s shoulder height, she powerfully smashed him in the side of the head with her elbow. He fell to the floor.   
“I certainly am.” Horatio sneered with a smile. The blonde only pulled on his arms a lot harder. He threw Horatio into the wall and restrained Zoë, pulling a knife out to her throat, stopping Horatio in his tracks.   
“Stay back; or I’ll slit her throat.” The blonde ordered.   
“Just put the knife down.” Horatio ordered back.   
“Fat chance, if it’s the only thing that keeps you two under control. Hey Eddie, you okay?” The blonde said glancing down to Eddie who was on the floor, experiencing pain in both his genitals and his head.   
Horatio took another step forward. “Just put the knife down.” He said calmly, but lowly.  
“Take another step and I’ll do it.” The blonde shouted.   
“No you won’t you moron, you brought us here for a reason, you’re not going to just kill me. It’s not in your ‘plan’.” She said taunting him.   
“Zoë” Horatio warned, pleading her to stop taunting him.  
“You should listen to him Detective.” The blonde snarled.  
“And you should probably help your friend; he looks to be in some pain.” Zoë gave Horatio a small wink and he looked at her confused as the blonde gripped her hair and pulled her head back.   
“You’re really testing me.” He cautioned. Horatio clocked onto what she was doing, but wanted her to stop.   
“Yeah, well that’s what I do.” She laughed. The blonde pulled the knife into her throat, drawing a small amount of blood. Horatio’s eyes widened and he took another step closer.   
“What did I say Caine?” The blonde asked, pushing the knife in to her throat more when the door burst open. They all except Zoë turned their heads.   
“Ratner” Horatio growled.   
“And there it is, the boss has walked in.” Zoë said happily. “Couldn’t resist, could you?” She taunted him. Hoping to keep the attention on her so Horatio didn’t do anything stupid in the anger that was beginning to replace the fear.   
“Release her. You get up off the floor you fool.” Ratner ordered. The blonde released her and she stood by Horatio, wiping the blood from her throat. Horatio looked at her in understanding but was not happy about the fact that she bargained her life to get him in there.  
“You, you Detective Chambers are a very smart woman.” Ratner laughed as he walked up to them. Horatio went to take a step forward but Zoë grabbed the back of his jacket, keeping him in the same spot.   
“I see a lot of myself in you, actually. Don’t you agree, Lieutenant Caine?” Ratner said as he approached the both of them with the two thugs standing behind him.   
“We’re two completely different people, if you were smart enough, you’d see that.” She snapped at him.   
The both of them stood strong and stood their ground.   
“When are you going to stop?” Horatio growled.   
“When... I’m finished here.” Ratner said licking his lips looking Zoë up and down.   
“You… you are not going to get the chance to finish.” Horatio said dangerously low, taking a step closer and partially shielding Zoë as he stepped to the side, seeing the look in Ratner’s eyes.   
“That Lieutenant… that is where you’re wrong” he said with a wild grin.   
“I see you’re still getting delinquents to do your dirty work.” Horatio said raising his eyebrows, looking over to the two large men behind him.   
“You’re still a coward then.” Zoë snarled at him. Ratner took a step towards Zoë but Horatio fully stepped in front of her.   
“You know, you two just don’t know when to stop, do you?” Ratner said.   
“By the looks of it… neither do you. How… just how many people have you killed now?” Horatio growled lowly staring him in the eyes intensely. Ratner began to laugh to himself.   
“You know, you may be able to fool these two, but there’s no fooling me. Hand the phone over Chambers, or am I going to have to take it from you.” Ratner said settling his eyes on Zoë.   
“You dare lay a finger on her, or I will personally put a bullet in your head.” Horatio seriously warned as his blue eyes narrowed on Ratner.  
“Oh good Lieutenant, you wouldn’t do that.” He smiled at Horatio.   
“You want to bet?” Horatio replied lowly.   
“Restrain him.” Ratner simply said as he stepped back. The two thugs came forward and took a hold of Horatio. Zoë tried her best to stop them but was easily thrown to the side as they pushed Horatio against the wall. One of the thugs pulled out Horatio’s hand cuffs.   
“Do it properly this time.” Ratner said as he laid his eyes on Zoë. Horatio didn’t once break his stare at Ratner and Zoë. Zoë recovered after being pushed and stood strong again, looking over to Horatio but also keeping her eyes on Ratner. Horatio put up a good fight, giving them plenty of bruises and even some cuts but the two of them were far too strong for him alone. They cuffed his hands around the pole he was tied to.   
“Sort him out for me.” Ratner said as he took another step closer to Zoë, grinning like a maniac. They began to beat Horatio, drawing blood from his lip. Horatio wasn’t concerned about himself, all he wanted was for Zoë to not see it. They both had their backs to Ratner and Zoë when Zoë couldn’t take it any longer. She dodged Ratner and grabbed both thugs by the neck of their shirts. Horatio fell to the floor, as she pulled on their collars and placed both of her feet behind theirs and they fell to the floor. As they fell Zoë’s wrist severely twinged and her cry of pain focused Horatio back on her, after receiving a serious beating.   
“Zoë!” He shouted out as he began to pull on the cuffs as she held her wrist. She dropped the phone to the floor and Horatio had all of his focus on her.   
“Are you okay?” Horatio shouted out.   
“Yeah” she hissed as she stood up straight and went to grab for the phone on the floor. Before she reached for it, Ratner had pulled out a gun and shot at the phone, putting a hole in it before she could pick it up.  
“You are a piece of work Detective.” Ratner snarled as the two men rose to their feet after rubbing the back of their heads.  
“They’ve probably already located us, we haven’t turned up for work yet, they’ll know something’s up.” Zoë muttered as she turned around to face him.  
“Oh I don’t think so, I’ve… given them something else to focus on.” Ratner said as he wrapped his hand around Zoë’s neck and pushed her against the wall beside Horatio. She gasped for air as she began to panic, not liking things around her neck. But she tried to keep herself under control, not wanting to give Ratner the satisfaction that he desires. She placed both hands on his wrist and arm, trying her best to get him off her.  
“Get your hands off her.” Horatio warned lowly.   
“What are you going to do about it?” Ratner barked as he stared at Zoë.   
“Get your hands off her!” Horatio ordered at him, with rage growing inside of him.   
“If you say another word, you’re going to make me do something to her that you’ll regret. Got it?” Ratner warned. Her eyes narrowed as she stared into his cold dark eyes.   
“If you move Caine, she’s the one that’s going to suffer.” Ratner threatened as he didn’t take his eyes off Zoë.   
“You got that?” He said glancing down at Horatio. He swallowed, having conflicting thoughts.   
‘I can’t chance it, I’m certain he’d keep his word, but if I do nothing she’s still in danger…’ Horatio didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to chance anything. One of the thugs gripped Horatio’s throat and pulled him up to his feet. Horatio turned his head and looked over at Zoë, who was still in Ratner’s grip.  
“Good.” Ratner said as he focused back on Zoë as she still struggled to release his hand from her throat. She gave his arm a good few scratches.   
“You might be a little familiar with this.” Ratner said as he grinned wildly at Zoë.   
In one quick move, Ratner had let go of her throat and took a hold of both of her arms and rose them above her head, pinning them to the wall and then pressed himself up against her.   
“You remember Jack, don’t you? I read all about that, it was a good read before bed.” Ratner asked as Zoë turned her head to face Horatio.  
Horatio went berserk, he thrashed out with everything he had but the two thugs only restrained him and held his head so he faced Zoë.   
“Lieutenant, you’re going to pay for everything you’ve ever done to me and this is how you’re going to pay.” Ratner said as he grinned at Horatio menacingly.   
“Zoë, honey. I’m afraid you’ve gotten the short straw of the bargain; hurting you will cause him a lot more pain than it ever would if I physically hurt him, oh and you put one of my best students away, you remember Mason, don’t you?” He laughed. Horatio still continued to fight against them. Zoë looked into Horatio’s eyes as Ratner pushed himself against her more, she swallowed hard. She closed her eyes and her body relaxed, to Horatio it looked like she was giving up.   
“Zoë” Horatio called breathlessly, pleading her not to give up. She took a deep breath.   
“If you know about that, you know what’s coming next.” She said with her eyes closed, completely calm.   
“What?” Ratner asked confused. She suddenly pushed back with everything she had and kneed him in the groin in the process, leaving him to fall to the floor. A relieved smile appeared across Horatio’s face and then one of the thugs let him go and pushed her against the wall. Ratner quickly recovered and rose to his feet. Horatio continued to fight back, now having one man hold him back.   
“What did I say Lieutenant?” Ratner snarled as he brushed himself off.   
Ratner grinned at Horatio as he walked out of the room and came in with a needle.   
“Hold her.” He simply said.   
“Don’t you dare touch her.” Horatio ordered pulling on the cuffs which had begun to cut into his wrists.   
“Oh I dare.” Ratner said as he smiled menacingly. The two thugs held her still against the wall as he stuck the needle in to her arm and injected the liquid.   
“Time to sleep” Ratner said with a smile.   
“Zoë! Zoë!” Horatio shouted repeatedly. She looked over at him feeling the effects of the anaesthetic.   
“I love you.” She mouthed silently. None of them apart from Horatio knew what she just said to him. Her body relaxed as her head fell forwards.   
The thugs held her against the wall as Ratner glared at Horatio with an evil grin.   
“Do I do what I had planned here, or in a different room? What will hurt you more?” Ratner asked, grinning, assessing Horatio’s reaction. He stepped closer to Zoë and lifted her head.   
“I see you’ve left your mark on her…” Ratner said looking at the love-bite, still grinning. Horatio just glared at him.   
“Get your hands off her.” He warned lowly through gritted teeth.   
“How about I give her a matching one? On the other side?” Ratner questioned, looking over to Horatio sincerely. Horatio’s eyes widened as his heart skipped a beat.   
“Get away from her!!!” Horatio yelled loudly as Ratner moved in closer, heading for her neck.   
“Get your hands off her now!” Horatio shouted, pulling at the cuffs as Ratner’s mouth made contact with her delicate skin.  
“Ratner! Get off her! Get off her now!” Horatio repeated, shouting at him, pulling on the cuffs as Ratner clearly mouthed at her neck, knowing Horatio could see everything. Ratner dropped his hands and pulled at her trousers.   
“Get off her now!” Horatio ferociously yelled. He backed off with a menacing grin at Horatio, licking his lips.   
“See you later Lieutenant.” Ratner said as one of the men picked Zoë up in a fireman’s lift.   
“Zoë! Zoë!! Ratner don’t you dare! RATNER! Zoë! If you lay a finger on her I will kill you! I WILL KILL YOU!” Horatio shouted as they walked out.  
“Don’t you dare! Bring her back here right now! Ratner you animal! Bring her back! Zoë!” He continued to yell, he heard nothing from them.  
“Zoë…” He said quietly to himself as he slid down the wall and smacked his head against the wall as a lump in his throat formed. He began blaming himself for everything. He tried pulling on the cuffs again, but it was no use. He smacked his head against the wall again and left it there; looking up at the ceiling, as all hope disappeared. He let his legs drop to the floor. ‘I’ve failed her, I’ve really failed her. She deserves so much better than me.’ Horatio began to think. He felt the blood drying on his lip and breathing even felt difficult, he was sure he had a broken rib.  
“RATNER!” He began to shout out as his anger began to wildly swell. “RATNER!” He repeated again and again not caring how much physical pain it caused him. He felt helpless, he couldn’t protect her.   
Horatio sat against the wall, bound in the hand cuffs as his thoughts grew wild, he stared at the opposite wall in a daze.


	5. Chapter 5

Roughly 35 minutes passed and the blonde thug walked back in, grinning at Horatio. Horatio looked up intensely waiting for Zoë to walk through the door unharmed. Ratner then walked in with a big grin across his face too.   
“Now, I’m sure you’re going to be very careful about what you’re going to say and do now, aren’t you Caine? You don’t want something like that to happen again, do you?” Ratner said as he crouched down a few meters from Horatio. Ratner saw the terror and anger in Horatio’s eyes.   
“Not so calm now, are you?” Ratner taunted.   
“If you’ve done anything to her I will put that bullet in your head, even if it’s the last thing I do.” Horatio growled lowly at him through his clenched teeth. Ratner just laughed.  
“I think she’s going to be joining us now.” Ratner said as he stood up. The brown haired thug carried her in and placed her on the floor, sitting up right against the wall and cuffed her right hand to the pole. Horatio couldn’t see anything as both the thugs had shielded his view of her.   
“Come along gentlemen, let’s leave them to… reacquaint.” Ratner chuckled to himself. All 3 of them quickly left and Horatio’s eyes settled on Zoë’s unconscious body, sat up against the wall with her head slumped over resting against the pole she was cuffed too. Horatio took a deep breath as his eyes widened in shock. ‘Oh Zoë, I’m so sorry beautiful, it’s my fault. Look what I’ve got you into.’ He shook his head.  
“Zoë? Zoë wake up for me sweetheart.” Horatio said loudly. He swallowed as his mind reeled with unimaginable images. He didn’t know what to think or what to do.  
He studied her clothing, she had certainly been redressed. He looked at her waist, seeing the 3 buttons on her trousers all screwed up and not buttoned in the right place, where they had obviously been taken off and put back on. His eyes travelled up, the very bottom button of her red silk shirt was buttoned up, but the rest of them had been ripped off. A lump gathered in his throat as he tried to swallow again. He saw her jacket and that had been pulled back on over her, it was not sitting properly over her cast, where they had carelessly pulled it back on her. Her shirt sat open, displaying her entire stomach and chest. He saw a red mark on the side of her neck where Ratner had his mouth and he felt a pit in his stomach. He saw a few more faint red marks on her chest, and he hated himself.   
“Zoë sweetheart, wake up for me please. Zoë!” Horatio pleaded, hoping what he was seeing wasn’t true. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but seemed to be trapped right in the middle of it, his heart rate picked up as his terror turned into anger.   
“Ratner! You son of a bitch! What did you do to her?! RATNER!” Horatio yelled beginning to lose it. He knew he was giving Ratner exactly what he wanted, but he could no longer control his emotions. Horatio smashed his head back against the wall, pulling on the handcuffs, willing them to just open.   
“Zoë, Zoë sweetheart. Come on. Zoë!” Horatio pleaded. His eyes rested on her body as he watched her chest rise and fall every time she took a breath. He could see she was alive, but to think about what they had done to her began to slowly kill him. Ratner strolled back in grinning at Horatio, very satisfied with his reaction. The two thugs came back in after him and stood in the middle of the room. Horatio’s eyes didn’t move off Zoë.   
“You’re going to learn your lesson.” Ratner taunted. He turned to Zoë and began to walk over to her, Horatio’s eyes settled on his shirt at the back which was a little un-tucked where Ratner had seemingly missed that part when he had re-tucked his shirt back in.   
Horatio went completely crazy, he stood up and pulled on the handcuffs with everything he had, clanging them against the pole. Horatio shouted at Ratner, he had no control over his emotions what so ever.   
“You see why we chose to do this to her, it burns you inside. It hurts you more than the physical pain we could ever cause you.” Ratner sneered. He crouched down beside Zoë, letting Horatio get a full view of her.   
“She’s so… fragile.” Ratner said grinning down at her small body. He pulled at her shirt to open it further.  
“Do not touch her!” Horatio barked out at Ratner as he stood there, frozen.   
“Why’s that?” Ratner taunted. “Is it because… you love her?” He said as he turned his head to Horatio with a very big grin. He stroked her face with the knuckle of his index finger, then looked at the love-bite on the side of her neck. “Did you get a little rough? Did she enjoy it rough?” Ratner chuckled as he ran his finger over it. He then dropped his hand to her thigh and began to gently rub it.   
“Don’t.” Horatio warned through clenched teeth as he pulled at the cuffs again. He moved his hand quickly and began to stroke the top of her chest with the back of his hand.   
“Get your hands off her.” Horatio growled, Ratner continued and he ran his hand through the middle of her breasts.   
“Her skin is so soft, don’t you just love it?” Ratner taunted. Horatio swallowed and clenched his jaw tighter. His fingers clearly traced the scar left by the shooting as he turned and grinned at Horatio.   
“Get your hands off her, now!” Horatio yelled as he pulled at the cuffs again with blood pouring from his wrists.   
“Sit him down will you?” Ratner said to the two thugs. They beat Horatio down, but he still went back for more, not caring any longer, he just wanted Zoë to be okay, he didn’t care what they did to him. ‘They can stab me for all I care.’ Horatio thought as he continued to fight with everything he had. They repeatedly punched him in the abdomen, chest and face but he fought back.  
“Okay, that isn’t working.” Ratner said to the thugs who stopped and stepped back from a bloody and bruised Horatio. His wrists were bleeding more, as they cut each time he pulled on the cuffs.   
Ratner then traced the other old scar with his fingers. Horatio sat and watched helplessly.  
“Has she told you about this one?” Ratner asked as his eyes sparkled with satisfaction.   
“I’m ordering you; get your hands off her now!” Horatio ordered dangerously low.   
Ratner’s hand travelled back up through the middle of her breasts, he then pulled at her bra lightly.   
“GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!” Horatio shouted like he’d never shouted before.   
“So that really gets to you.” Ratner sneered. “That’s not even half of what we–”  
“Shut it!” Horatio barked at him, cutting him off, not wanting to hear what he had to say.   
“You have no idea what I have lined up for the both of you.” Ratner said as he got up and walked over to Horatio.   
Zoë began to rouse from unconsciousness and slowly lifted her head. Horatio took a breath as his eyes rested on her intensely. She looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times, clearing the fuzziness. She pulled on the hand cuffs, still dazed.   
“So glad you can join us Detective.” Ratner sniped.   
“Zoë?” Horatio called. Zoë dropped her head and then lifted it again, trying to focus her eyes.   
“Horatio?” She questioned, focusing on him, seeing a lot more blood than she remembered.   
“Horatio!” She said loudly.   
“That’s right, how are you feeling now Detective?” Ratner snarled with a menacing grin.   
“A lot better than you’re going to feel” she growled at him, she felt a breeze across her stomach and chest and then looked down. Her breathing accelerated.   
“Zoë” Horatio said shaking his head in sorrow, feeling completely to blame that he didn’t protect her.   
“You… you’re a coward Ratner! A bloody coward! I’m going to get you and when I do one bullet from my gun is going straight between those eyes of yours.”   
“Ohh feisty” Ratner chuckled “I wish I had that sort of fight and dirty talk while we… bonded” he grinned. Zoë threw her head back in disgust and clenched her teeth. She looked back down to Horatio and then looked away down at the floor, disgusted with herself. He saw the look in her eyes and it just put a knife through his heart.   
“You coward” she said fighting the lump in her throat as her breathing deepened. Horatio’s heart shattered. He wanted to hold her and make it all better. He pulled on the handcuffs again. Ratner crouched down; he came in close to Zoë’s ear as she turned her head to look at her feet. Horatio saw her breathing accelerate and deepen; he saw the anger grow on her face. He had no-idea what Ratner was saying, he just continued to pull on the handcuffs.   
Zoë lashed out and pulled Ratner in, turning him in the process with her left arm and put him in the choke hold as he fell between her legs. Her cast pushed up against his throat as she linked her hands together to get more leverage. Ratner pulled at her arm and his legs began to scrape across the floor. Horatio hadn’t seen Zoë react like that before; he genuinely thought that she was going to kill him. She wrapped her legs around him to keep him steady.   
“You animal, you don’t deserve to live!” Zoë growled.   
One of the thugs pulled out a gun and placed it against her head and took the safety off.   
“Go ahead; he’ll be dead before you pull that trigger anyway.” She smirked.   
“Zoë!!” Horatio yelled. Zoë’s face contorted in pain as her wrist began to pulsate and cause her an unbelievable amount of pain but she carried on choking Ratner.  
She hissed in pain as Ratner muttered “stick to the plan” with a broken voice. They put the gun away and prised Zoë’s hands and arms from Ratner’s neck. They pulled Ratner up as Zoë’s body relaxed and she threw her head against the wall, holding her left wrist close to her. Ratner cleared his throat and pulled at his shirt, trying to gain some composure.   
“You, you are a difficult one. But that is nothing compared to what we have planned, our main event is just coming up.” Ratner sneered as he briskly walked out.   
Horatio could see the pain she was going through, mental and physical and couldn’t do anything about it. The two thugs just stood there. Zoë lifted her head and looked over at Horatio who didn’t move his eyes from her. She bit her lip and shook her head. He saw her eyes well as they darted around the room, trying to remain strong.   
“I’m sorry.” She said to him, feeling like everything was her fault. She threw her head back against the wall. Horatio didn’t know what to do or say, the lump in his throat only got worse. She closed her eyes, wanting to wake up from the nightmare that plagued the both of them. She fought with the tears that threatened to fall.  
“Sweetheart…” He called softly, trying to remain calm himself, she lifted her head to look at him. “Don’t worry; it’s not your fault. You’re going to be okay.” He said softly, trying to give her some sort of reassurance. She threw her head back again and clenched her jaw shaking her head from side to side, not believing him at all. She felt insecure and violated, she needed support from Horatio, more than ever and he knew it.   
“Sweetheart, listen to me. You’re going to be okay.” He assured her. She took a deep breath and looked back down to him, feeling ashamed of herself. She pulled the shirt to cover her as much as she could but it just fell open again as she couldn’t hold it with her left hand. She licked her dry lips and took a deep breath, looking at him.   
“You’re going to be okay.” He said loudly. She blinked a few times to stop her tears from falling and she nodded at him slowly. She looked down at the floor and took a breath, almost in a daze. He knew she needed support, but didn’t know what else to do, all he could do was talk to her.  
‘I just want to rip my skin off, it’s my entire fault! Horatio had to go through that because of me.’ She belittled herself in her head. Horatio saw the conflict in her facial expression.   
“It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay Zoë, I promise you.” Horatio said almost desperately. They were both being torn up mentally, just as Ratner wanted. She continued to look at the floor, then she looked up.   
“I love you.” She simply said as tears again threatened to fall.   
“I love you, I love you Zoë, I need you to hang in there for me, please. I promise you that everything is going to be alright.” Horatio pleaded with her. She saw how much it was hurting him, how much he needed something from her, how much he needed her to support him. She swallowed and nodded her head at him with a small smile.   
“I am handsome… I am.” She said looking him in the eyes. “We’re going to be alright.” She said nodding, trying to reassure him. “We’re going to be alright.” She repeated to herself, trying to make herself believe that it was true. She pulled on the handcuffs a little more. A twinkle of hope sparkled in Horatio’s blue eyes.   
Ratner entered again, holding a needle in front of him.   
“Now, who’s my lucky candidate?” He said with a menacing grin, he looked from Zoë to Horatio.   
Zoë knew it was her; all she was thinking about was whether she was going to fight, or just let him do it.


	6. Chapter 6

If she fought, he’d get her anyway and it would tear Horatio up even more because he couldn’t protect her from him. If she didn’t, it would still tear him up to see her just give in. Either way, it was going to severely hurt Horatio.   
Ratner stepped forward and held the needle up. “This ladies and gentlemen, this is a lethal toxin. It will stop your heart within 25-30 minutes after it’s injected. It’s in your best interest to remain completely calm, otherwise the poison is just going to work its way around your body even faster, killing you quickly.” Ratner said with a grin looking over at Zoë. “Not to mention the horrible side effects it gives you.” He said as his smile grew. He stepped over towards Zoë.   
“Give it to me! Give it to me Ratner!” Horatio shouted pulling at the handcuffs more. “Ratner, give it to me!” Horatio shouted louder. Zoë looked over to him and shook her head softly, telling him that it’s never going to happen. “No! Ratner! NO!” He yelled.   
“Ever the noble one, aren’t you Caine.” Ratner snarled.  
“Zoë, no!” Horatio said looking at her as his heart pounded. ‘He can’t do this, he can’t do this to her! What can I do? Think Caine! Think!’ He thought to himself.   
“She’s got no choice Caine. She’s got no choice.” Ratner chuckled as he took another step forward. Horatio pulled against the handcuffs, making him bleed more. He pulled against the pole; he tried everything to free himself.   
“Don’t you dare Ratner!” Horatio shouted.  
“You’re a coward, poison as your choice of death? You can’t even kill me by your own hand, how much more cowardly does it get?” She sneered at him.   
“I chose this because he gets to watch you die slowly in front of him and there’s nothing he can do about it. Oh, and for my entertainment.” Ratner said laughing.   
“Now just remember, stay calm and you get to spend longer with him.” Ratner said as he strolled up to her.   
She no longer had her heels on, so she couldn’t kick him with the sharp heel. Instead she smashed the side of his knee with her heel and it brought him to the floor. Horatio let out a breath, relieved to see her fighting back, but he wanted to be there, defending her against that animal.   
“Restrain her please.” Ratner said through clenched teeth.   
“You know Detective; your bite is a lot worse than your bark.” Ratner said as he rose to his feet again. “It’s usually the other way around, making it far more easy” he laughed.  
“Give it to me Ratner!” Horatio ordered thrashing about in the handcuffs. ‘He can’t do this!’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Oh no Lieutenant, this way you suffer a lot more.” Ratner said smiling at him.   
“What are you going to do without her?” He questioned as the two thugs restrained her and held her arm out. She fought against them with everything she had, but they were far too strong for her. Ratner injected it into her arm and then threw the needle across the room. Ratner got up and smirked at Horatio as the two thugs let her go.  
“Detective, I suggest that you stay calm, whatever the situation. Oh and smile for the camera.” Ratner said with venom.   
“You coward, running and hiding again?” She shouted at him. One of the thugs stood up and walked over and leant against the wall by the door. The thug that was still there placed his hand around her neck as Ratner walked out. He loosened his grip and Zoë began to bite her lips, feeling a strange sensation in her lips and tongue.   
“That’s the poison getting to work.” The thug said brutally, staring at her. Horatio stared at her, wide-eyed, realising that Ratner really wasn’t joking. The thug then slowly dropped his hand and began to stroke the top of her chest, getting lower.   
“Keeping that heart rate down?” He snarled. Zoë focused on Horatio and clenched her jaw.   
“Get your hands off her!” Horatio yelled, pulling at the hand cuffs. The other thug began to smile and snigger. The thug traced the top of her bra with his fingertips.  
“Get your hands off her now!” Horatio shouted. Zoë’s breathing deepened as she looked at Horatio. She closed her eyes and took a long deep breath. Horatio pulled at the cuffs even more. Her jaw clenched tighter as she abruptly swung her left arm around and struck him in the side of the head, his head smashed against the wall and it knocked him out. Zoë brought her left arm in to her chest and held it close as she hissed in pain again and took a few deep breaths, trying to deal with the pain. Horatio looked at her relieved, but he was still utterly terrified about what was to come.   
The thug pulled a gun out and placed it against Horatio’s head.   
She began to get a headache, knowing the toxin was getting to work. She focused on Horatio and then studied the thug. She slowly moved, knowing that he was bluffing.   
“I’d pull that gun away from him right now. You’ve sentenced me to death, so that’s not going to stop me from doing anything I want now.” She said as she leant on the unconscious thugs throat with her left arm. “If you had any sense at all, you’d throw that gun away.” She said pushing on the thugs throat. She stared at him intensely, he knew she wasn’t bluffing, and so did Horatio. The thug stared at her, thinking.  
“Now, throw that gun away.” She ordered as she leant on his throat more. The thug took the safety off.   
“If that’s the way you want to play it, so be it.” She said leaning on his throat with most of her weight.   
“Aww, look at him, he’s going purple.” Zoë said staring at the other thug with narrowing eyes. He pulled the gun away from Horatio’s head and Horatio breathed a sigh of relief. He trusted Zoë’s judgement about the blonde bluffing but to have a gun put to his head felt quite daunting.  
“Now put the safety on and throw it in the corner.” She said still leaning on the thugs throat.   
“I’d do it quickly, he’s not got long.” She said smirking at him. He threw the gun into the corner.   
“Well done. That wasn’t hard, was it?” Zoë said releasing the thug as his face began to return to a normal colour. Zoë took a breath feeling rather nauseous and swallowed as her head began to throb with pain. Zoë looked down at the cuff around her wrist, feeling like she was going to be sick. She took a hold of the cuff with her left hand. The thug began to walk back towards the gun as Zoë was looking down.   
“I’d stay right where you are.” She warned lowly. The thug looked at her with a smirk.   
“I really wouldn’t try my patience right now.” She warned dangerously low, still looking down.  
“What are you going to do about it?” He sniggered.   
“This!” Zoë yelled as she forcefully yanked her hand out of the cuff, more determined than she ever had been, severely cutting her hand and rugby tackled him to the floor. He kicked her off and she was almost thrown across the room, she landed hard on her back. She rolled over and looked at Horatio as her head pounded and her vision blurred. Horatio looked back at her, concerned and terrified. She looked back down at the dirty floor boards as she took a sharp fast breath, trying to control the pain.  
“Zoë!!” Horatio shouted. She climbed to her feet, she began to feel weak but still carried on getting to her feet. The thug briskly walked over to her and went to hit her but she blocked his punch and in return hit him in the stomach. He backed off recovering. She backed off and leant against the wall, both of her hands hurting, her back hurting from where she was pushed to the floor and her head pounding. ‘I can’t do this, I don’t think I can do this.’ She thought to herself as she took a deep breath. She looked over to Horatio and her determination was soon increasing again.  
“You are really making my job difficult.” He said growing angry and they heard a door slam, they knew Ratner had left.  
“It’s what I do best.” She sneered as she stumbled; she tried to stand up straight. She quickly glanced over to Horatio who was still trying to pull at the cuffs. She saw the blood coming from his wrists, she lost her concentration and stared at his wrists in a daze.   
“Zoë!!” Horatio yelled seeing the thug charge towards her. She turned her head to see him charging towards her. She simply held out her fist and he ran straight into it, not able to stop himself. He rebounded off her as he fell back to the floor while she shook her hand in pain, still standing.   
“Zoë!” Horatio pleaded, just wanting her to be close to him, he didn’t want to see her fighting these men off while he was so helpless.  
The thug held his face and the other thug began to wake, he groaned lowly and began to move his legs. Zoë looked over to him and took a breath as she grew weaker. She then saw the other thug reach down for the gun and she ran at him, taking a hold of his wrist. She hit his wrist against the wall in an effort to get the gun out of his hand. He was too strong for her, with his left hand he placed it around her back and forcefully pulled her into him. Her hands were wrapped around his right wrist as he brought the gun in and held it to her neck. Horatio could see his finger on the trigger, ready to pull.   
‘Why her? Why not me?’ He asked as his heart raced seeing this gun held to her neck. His finger squeezed the trigger ever so lightly and she watched it. She summoned the energy to knee him in his genitals and push his hand away as he pulled on the trigger. A shot was fired and the other thugs body jolted. The thug released her as he doubled over and dropped the gun. As he doubled over Zoë stepped back and roundhouse kicked him in the side of the head, rendering him unconscious on the floor.  
‘Finally, those years of martial arts are useful, thank you Aunt Jen.’ She thought to herself.  
She stumbled, growing weaker and feeling lightheaded. She slowly picked the gun up and threw it over to Horatio, in case anything happened and she wasn’t around any longer. She leant against the wall getting her balance and then stumbled over to the shot thug; she fell to the floor and placed her hand on his neck to feel for a pulse.   
“He’s gone Horatio.” She said as she dropped her head. She leant back on her knees and looked over to him. She clenched her hands, feeling them tingle.   
‘He didn’t need to die.’ Zoë thought to herself.  
“Okay sweetheart, come here. Well done beautiful.” Horatio said pleading her to come over to him. She leant against the wall as she climbed to her feet. She leant against the wall getting her bearings. She took a step but stumbled falling to the floor again. She looked up and around blinking.   
“Horatio” she said quietly.   
“You’re okay sweetheart.” He said pulling on the cuffs as she made her way to her feet again. She heard the desperateness in Horatio’s voice which willed her to climb back to her feet. She slowly walked over to him, stumbling and swaying from side to side, having lost most of her coordination.   
She fell to her knees in front of him; he rose to his knees too.   
She put her forehead to his. “I love you.” She said slurring her words.   
“I love you; hang on in there, we’re going to get through this, I promised you.” Horatio said pleading her to hold on.   
“Everything of mine is yours.” She slurred, her words had Horatio almost in tears. He couldn’t reply and she knew she wasn’t going to make it.  
“Stay strong for me handsome.” She pleaded as she slurred her words more.  
She very delicately kissed him with all the love she felt for him and energy she could muster. He gently kissed her back. She swallowed, but even that was proving very difficult.   
“Keys” she slurred as she backed off and rose to her feet. Horatio was choked up, he couldn’t say anything more. Even as she was dying, she was still trying her best to help him out. She stumbled over towards the thug she had just fought with and checked his pockets for the keys. She looked up at Horatio and shook her head. She tried to say ‘he doesn’t have them.’ But even her ability to speak had disappeared. He could see she couldn’t speak any longer and she was finding it difficult to breathe.  
“Don’t worry sweetheart, just come back.” He pleaded, wanting to be close to her. He couldn’t say anything else; the lump in his throat was preventing him to speak. He saw her struggle to her feet as she stumbled over to the dead thug, she fell to the floor and began searching for the keys. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and was feeling more lightheaded. She pulled her hand out of his pocket and leaned on the floor, trying to catch her breath.   
“Zoë” Horatio pleaded. “Please just come here sweetheart.” He pleaded desperately.   
She put her hand in another pocket and continued to look. She pulled out two keys, and leaned forward on the floor, trying her best to catch her breath. She began to shake and tremble as her body absorbed the poison. She looked up at Horatio who was desperately pulling on the cuffs. He stopped and looked over at her, he saw her lips turning blue and face getting pallor from where she was not getting the oxygen she needed.   
“Sweetheart” he simply said as he began to pull on the cuffs again. She stood up leaning against the wall as her head span, she took as deep breaths as she could. She blinked trying to get rid of the fuzziness. Horatio could see her stomach muscles working over time trying to help her breathe. She stood there for a few seconds before taking a step.   
“Come on beautiful, you can do it.” Horatio said, trying to encourage her. She took another step, using every bit of concentration she could use just to stand. She let go of the wall as she took another step and stumbled. She tried taking another step but fell to her knees.   
“Zoë” Horatio said with a lump in his throat, shaking his head, not wanting to believe that any of this was happening. She held herself up by leaning on the floor with her right hand as she gripped the keys in her left. She looked back up at him and threw the keys to him with her last bit of energy. Horatio reached for one of the keys and tried to put it in the lock, not taking his eyes off Zoë.   
“Stay with me, stay with me sweetheart.” Horatio called loudly. Zoë looked down to the floor, trying to hold on with everything she had, her whole body trembling.   
“Stay with me, you’re going to be okay beautiful.” He said softly fiddling around with the key. He couldn’t do it without looking at the lock. He looked back to the handcuffs and placed the key in the lock properly when he heard a thud and men outside the house shouting to each other.


	7. Chapter 7

He looked back around to Zoë who was now completely on the floor, barely breathing and not moving. The trembling had stopped.   
“Zoë! Stay with me!” Horatio shouted as he looked back and turned the key, releasing both of his hands. As he got up, the front door burst open and SWAT came running in, two SWAT officers and Ryan ran in to the room they were held in as Horatio threw himself down beside Zoë. He rolled her over on to her back as he said “hang on in there sweetheart.” He lined her head up to keep her airways clear. She looked over at him, just moving her eyes unable to move the rest of her body. Ryan put his gun away and knelt down beside her as Horatio pulled her shirt shut to cover her up as best he could. Her breathing was shallow and small gasps.   
“Breathe for me sweetheart, just breathe.” Horatio begged as he placed both hands either side of her head, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.  
“I need an ambulance now! What happened?” Ryan shouted back and then said to Horatio. Zoë didn’t take her eyes off Horatio.   
“Stay with me sweetheart. Stay with me, don’t leave me. You’re doing so well.” He said leaning down close to her face with their eyes locking on to each other’s. Horatio’s wrists were continuing to bleed.   
“You’re doing really well Zoë, hold on in there.” Ryan said gently rubbing her arm. She was barely breathing any longer. “That needle over there, they poisoned her.” Horatio said briefly looking up at Ryan.  
“Stay with me, please. I love you beautiful, I love you so much. I need you to stay with me and concentrate on breathing.” Horatio said with a lump in his throat, he gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs as he looked deeply into her eyes. Ryan looked up at Horatio, a little shocked, not knowing they were together.   
“Stay with me, just stay with me.” Horatio pleaded with his voice breaking ever so slightly, completely heartbroken that he was watching yet another one of his loved ones die before him.   
“Breathe Zoë, breathe for me sweetheart.” Horatio pleaded forcefully in desperation. He noticed that her eyes were no longer following his movements and his eyes. The two SWAT officers made sure the thug didn’t rise.   
“Zoë? Zoë sweetheart?” Horatio questioned, not seeing any response from her while Ryan remained quiet, traumatised from seeing her like this in front of him and there being nothing he can do about it. He didn’t know what to think or say, he just froze, looking down at her placid pale face.   
“Zoë? Zoë! No! You hold on in there, hold on in there sweetheart!” Horatio raised his voice and then waited for any response at all. Horatio placed his left hand by her head and his right between her left arm and side as he lent down and placed his ear to her chest. He listened intensely for any sound at all. Ryan slowly and hesitantly placed his two fingers on her neck as he swallowed, feeling for a pulse.   
“H… she’s… she’s gone.” Ryan said with his voice breaking. “She’s been poisoned; we have no chance of resuscitation.” Ryan said looking down at Zoë’s expressionless face. Horatio exhaled violently as he pushed himself up from her chest. He looked down at her and double checked for a pulse in vain hope of feeling something.  
“H, I’m sorry… she’s gone.” Ryan said fighting the lump in his throat and seeing Horatio’s desperateness. They both looked into her glassy eyes as they blankly stared at Horatio.  
“I love you, I love you beautiful.” Horatio said as he placed his hand over her eyes and held it there to close them. Ryan exhaled and put his head in his hands, shaking his head. Horatio just looked down at her, battling his emotions.   
‘I promised her… I promised her she’d be okay. I’m just as bad as Ratner. She’s gone because of me! It’s all my damn fault! I promised her and I couldn’t even keep that promise!’ Horatio began to berate himself.   
‘She needed me and I wasn’t there for her, what sort of a man am I? I’m a coward! My father was right! I’m a bloody coward and he knew it then.’ Horatio looked down at her face again and his emotions swelled inside of him. He dropped his head and threaded his fingers in her soft hair as he inhaled a broken breath, just trying to keep some element of composure.   
‘I never got to tell her how I felt.’ Ryan thought to himself. His eyes dropped to the red-mark on her neck. ‘Perhaps that’s a good thing if they were together though, as long as she was happy, I’m happy. She seemed very happy when she’d come in and when H was around, so I guess that’s all that matters.’ Ryan thought, putting everything together as Horatio pulled her collar up a little to cover the love-bite, seeing Ryan look at it.   
‘It was too early for you; you shouldn’t have been taken from me. I should have been the one to have that poison, not you. I should have stopped it all before it got to this. I should have put a bullet in his head before he had the chance to get away the first time. If he was dead, you’d still be alive.’ Horatio believed.  
Horatio looked back to the gun and swallowed. He quickly rose and picked it up, walking over to the still unconscious thug while SWAT tried to back him off.  
“He killed her!” Horatio yelled as he aimed at the thugs head, daring himself to pull the trigger. ‘Life is meaningless now anyway.’ He thought to himself. He swallowed and breathed heavily.   
“Don’t do it.” Horatio heard, he turned back around to look at Zoë’s body. He could have sworn she just said it. Horatio swallowed again as he looked back around to the man on the floor as SWAT tried to push him away and take the gun from him. Horatio’s finger tightened on the trigger.   
“Don’t do it Horatio. You’re better than that, stay strong handsome.” Horatio inhaled sharply and turned back around, knowing it was her voice but she hadn’t moved. There was no way she could have said anything. He exhaled and looked back round to the man, he swallowed once again trying to rid the lump from his throat and let the SWAT officer take the gun from him as his grip loosened. He looked down at her placid face and walked back over to her.  
“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Horatio said as he crouched down again and threaded his fingers in her hair.   
They both sat by her side, until the paramedics walked through the door. Ryan didn’t say anything, he knew that if Horatio hadn’t have gotten up and picked the gun up, he certainly would have and probably wouldn’t have had the self-restraint Horatio demonstrated.   
They just looked down at her, both of their emotions growing wildly out of control.  
Horatio looked up at the paramedics as they walked through to them.   
“She’s gone.” Horatio said simply as he looked back down to her. Ryan took a deep breath and stood up. They gave him a caring look, seeing the pain in his eyes.   
One kneeled down and took her pulse, they had an obligation to. “She was poisoned.” Ryan snapped getting agitated that they were touching her. He turned around in haste; not wanting to see her like she was and pulled his phone out.   
“Alexx, we need you here…” Ryan said breaking up on the phone.   
“I’m on my way Eric called me about the criminals holding them captive, are you okay honey?” Alexx asked, hearing the tone in his voice.   
“No.” Ryan simply said before hanging up and almost breaking down. ‘She doesn’t even know yet.’ Ryan thought to himself, knowing she was going to be shocked but wasn’t able to tell her the news.   
“Sir, you need to come with us, you need to be checked out at the hospital.” One of the paramedics said to Horatio.   
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying right here.” Horatio said sternly and quietly.   
“Sir, we need you to–” One of the paramedics started.   
“I’m not going anywhere.” Horatio repeated, looking down at her. They saw that he meant it and he clearly needed space, they backed off and looked at the injured man while the SWAT officers had their guns trained on him. Horatio looked up, seeing Ryan’s pain and could clearly see that he was on the very edge.   
“Ryan, I need you to take a breath and calm down.” Horatio said, seeing Ryan’s pain. Ryan turned around and looked down at her. He tightened his grip on his phone, listening to Horatio’s words. He tried to calm himself down; he knew he had to for Zoë. If she were there, she’d be standing by him, calming him down.   
‘I didn’t protect her, she needed me and I wasn’t there for her. She needed you God damn it! She needed you, you fool!’ Horatio began to blame himself as he looked down at her and fought with the lump in his throat as he took hold of her hand. He didn’t care whether he was tampering with evidence. He needed to touch her, he needed her comfort.   
“I’m so sorry beautiful.” Horatio whispered quietly. ‘It’s all my fault! I’m completely to blame, if it wasn’t for me, she’d still be here now!’ Horatio yelled at himself in his thoughts.   
Eric walked into the room they were in and froze in horror, looking down at Zoë.  
“Is she…” Eric took a breath. “Is she–” Eric began and Ryan turned around giving him a slow nod.   
Ryan turned back around to her and guilt began to build up. ‘We were too late! God damn it! We were too bloody late!’ Ryan began yelling at himself in his own thoughts.   
Horatio just looked down at Zoë, thinking of everything he could have and should have done to save her. Horatio leant on his knee and put his head on his arm and didn’t take his eyes off her as he held her hand tightly.   
Horatio felt dead to himself, like everything in his life that he ever loved was rudely taken from him and rightly so, everything had indeed been taken from him. He began to believe what his father used to tell him the one thing his mother told him to never believe. ‘You’re useless boy, you’ve only ever caused me pain you little bastard! You’ll amount to nothing in life.’ Horatio heard his father shouting at him. ‘No-one will ever love you, you’re incapable of being loved. It’s all your fault Horatio, it’s all your fault boy, it always is!’ Horatio repeated his father’s screams and he began to believe his drunken words. Eric saw the pain Horatio was going through, he saw him raged with unpleasant thoughts.  
“Wolfe, we need to… we need to start processing.” Eric said softly, then swallowed, looking down at Zoë. Ryan fought with the lump in his throat as he looked up at Eric. Eric saw how much it was affecting Ryan. SWAT cleared the house and patrol officers began to guard rooms and the house. Ryan walked out and walked over to his hummer. He got into the driver’s seat as Eric walked out of the house too, Eric looked over at Ryan sat in the hummer.   
Ryan hit the steering wheel then sat back, rubbing his face with his hands and then ran them through his hair. The lump in his throat got bigger and he leant over the steering wheel, looking down and breathing heavily. Eric began to slowly approach the hummer.   
“You can do it honey, just take a deep breath” resonated throughout Ryan’s head in Zoë’s voice.   
He sat back and took the breath, looking up to the roof of the hummer thinking he was going crazy. Suddenly, his stress began to alleviate. He took another breath and closed his eyes, fighting the lump as he fought with the tears that had threatened to fall. He opened them and saw Eric getting closer. He opened the door and got out, opening the back door to get his kit out.  
“You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to.” Eric said softly.   
“No, I’m going to do this and I’m going to get that bastard.” Ryan said calmly as he slammed the door shut and looked over at Eric who gave him a nod. Ryan put the camera over his shoulder as they began to make their way in.   
They walked through into the room where Horatio and Zoe were held. “I’ll take it here.” Eric said softly as he saw Ryan’s eyes settle on Zoë again.   
“Horatio” resonated throughout Horatio’s mind in her voice, he pulled his head out of his arms and looked down at her. He was sure that she had said it. Alexx walked in through the door, expecting to see the dead man. She was stopped in her tracks when she saw Zoë lifeless on the floor and Horatio beside her. He looked up at her with sad eyes. Alexx scanned the room and saw one dead thug, the paramedics had taken the other thug out. She saw Eric beginning to process the room.   
“Horatio” Alexx said sharply exhaling as her eyebrows rose. “I didn’t… I had no idea.” Alexx said softly as she slowly approached them. Horatio looked back down at Zoë. Alexx crouched down beside Horatio and placed a gentle hand on his back.   
“I need to take care of her Horatio.” Alexx said very softly, seeing the amount of mental and physical pain he was in. He just swallowed, looking at Zoe with his caring blue eyes. Alexx tried to take Zoë’s hand out of his but he refused to let go. She knew she was in no position to argue with him to get him to let go of her.  
“I promised her she’d be okay, I promised her.” Horatio said quietly, looking down to her, gripping her hand tighter. A lump in Eric’s throat developed hearing Horatio’s words. He felt the blood from her hand drying on his, only to be covered by the blood coming from his wrists.  
“Horatio, I need you to let me take care of her and you need to get checked out.” Alexx said very softly, lowering her head to try and get a look at his face. She moved in closer and warmly rubbed his back. He took a breath and slowly nodded.   
“Rest in peace, beautiful. Sleep with the angels.” he said quietly and stood up; his words put a lump in Alexx’s throat too, Eric was trying his hardest to keep himself composed, let alone Horatio trying to keep it together.  
Horatio looked around and studied the room. Alexx tried her best to detach herself from her feelings, and look at Zoë as if she was another person that she didn’t know. She found it incredibly difficult, but she managed to look over Zoë.   
“Eric, that needle over there is what was used to inject her.” Horatio said looking at the needle on the floor by the wall. Eric stood up and walked over to Horatio, approaching him carefully.  
“Okay, H. You need to get your wrists and wounds looked at.” Eric said very softly, trying not to push him at all. Horatio swallowed and looked down at the floor and slowly gave him a nod. Horatio slowly walked out as Alexx and Eric watched him. ‘I can’t leave her.’ Horatio thought to himself as he looked back down at her and stood in the doorway.   
“I’m going to take care of her Horatio.” Alexx said softly, seeing his hesitance to leave her. He took a deep breath, feeling his emotions swell. He didn’t know what he would do with himself. He felt like a part of him had been ripped out, he felt as though he couldn’t enjoy life to the fullest without her there. He knew everything was going to change, but wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it, he didn’t want to be a part of it.  
“She’s been through major trauma Eric, and it looks like she’s been redressed.” Alexx said turning around to look up at Eric. Eric crouched down beside her as Alexx picked up her right hand. He sighed just at the thought of why she had been redressed.   
“I have no idea what could have caused this.” Alexx said examining her hand. Eric photographed it and then looked over at the pair of handcuffs that were still attached to the pole. There was skin and blood all over them.   
“What if she pulled her hand out of the handcuffs?” Eric asked getting a photo of them.  
“It’s consistent with something like that, but that would have been extremely painful.” Alexx said gently putting her hand down and opening her shirt, Alexx looked over her chest and torso for any other injuries before closing her shirt again and then scraping the epithelial’s from under her nails.  
“Well, when it comes… came to Zoë, no amount of pain would stop her from doing what she had her mind set on, also she had been poisoned, there’s the chance that her pain receptors had shut down before she did it, or at least numbed it a little.” Eric said remembering how determined she was.   
“That’s true honey. She definitely gave them a good fight. I’d like to think that she didn’t feel any pain.” Alexx said looking at her arms and hands as she swallowed.   
“Yeah, well she wouldn’t go down easily.” Eric said walking back over at Alexx as he crouched down again, photographing her arms and hands.  
“She’s got some marks on her chest and stomach, I’m not sure what caused them.” Alexx said gently opening her shirt so Eric could photograph. He hesitantly got some photo’s before putting the camera down and examining the marks closely.   
“Alexx, are they teeth marks?” Eric questioned, pointing to a rather red wound on her chest, just above her bra.   
“Yes, and it looks fresh Eric.” Alexx swallowed, looking at him. They both exhaled and Alexx quickly pulled her shirt closed again.  
He photographed her more and got everything he needed, trying his best to not think about it.  
“Her cast is split; I think she gave one of them a good hit with it.” Alexx said looking at the aircast.   
“I’ll know more once I get her to autopsy.” Alexx said softly. Eric photographed the thug and then carried on processing the room. Alexx very gently covered up Zoë’s body and began to look at the thug. Ryan came through to the room and looked down at Zoë’s body covered by the sheet. He took a deep breath and looked up at Eric. Alexx turned around.   
“Ryan honey, how are you holding up?” Alexx asked softly. Ryan looked over at her and didn’t want to answer otherwise he’d lose it again. He swallowed and looked up at Eric.   
“I’ve got a tape.” Ryan simply said to Eric. Eric gave him a nod and Ryan quickly disappeared again. Alexx looked up and round to Eric who was standing. Eric shook his head at Alexx, telling her that Ryan wasn’t coping well. He walked out and Ryan began to play the tape – it was a recording of Horatio and Zoë in the front room.   
“Okay, we need to get this back to the lab and look over it thoroughly.” Eric said as they watched some of it.   
Alexx got both bodies into her van and Horatio walked over to her.  
“Take care of her, please.” Horatio said softly with bandages on his wrists, after he refused to go to the hospital. Alexx studied his face, seeing the pain but finally relieved that he no longer had blood everywhere.   
“I will Horatio, I will.” She said softly and gently placed her hand on the side of his arm. She gave him a reassuring smile. She drove back to autopsy.   
Horatio walked back into the house, not wanting to talk to Frank and found Eric and Ryan watching the tape. Frank watched him walk back in, seeing Horatio not even exchange a look with anyone.  
“Gentlemen” he said as he walked into the room, taking their concentration off the tape.   
“H.” They both said a little surprised with their hearts in their throats as they watched Zoë come around on the screen.   
“I’ll get this back to the lab.” Eric said turning the screen off. Ryan looked down at the floor. Eric collected all of the evidence he had and put it in his hummer. He came back in and began carrying on processing, bagging the evidence. Ryan did the same in the room Horatio was standing in. Horatio just looked down at the floor. He took a breath and then turned around and a room caught his eye with the door slightly ajar. Ryan looked up at him as Horatio looked over to the room. Horatio looked down and then looked up at the door and slowly made his way over to it. Ryan looked over to Horatio and got up, not sure what was in the room as SWAT had only briefly looked in there.   
Ryan made his way over to the room as Horatio gently pushed the door open. He stood in the doorway and studied the room, seeing a large dining table and Zoë’s shoes on the floor by the table. Horatio choked up as Ryan stood in the doorway next to him. Ryan scanned the room with his eyes and took a breath. He walked past Horatio and began to photograph. Horatio slowly shook his head in disbelief, knowing it was where they had taken her. Ryan bagged her shoes and found some of her hair on the table as well as a small blood pool. He picked the hair up with tweezers and studied it, there was no doubt that it was Zoë’s hair. Ryan took a broken breath.   
“It’s okay honey, just take another breath.” Ryan heard her voice again. He exhaled, getting choked up himself again. “Take that breath, you’re okay.” He heard again and looked around.   
“Did you hear that?” Ryan asked. “Hear what?” Horatio asked looking up at Ryan.   
“Don’t worry.” Ryan said as he took a deep breath. His stress began to alleviate again. ‘What is going on?’ Ryan thought to himself. He bagged the hair taking another deep breath. He looked down and there were red buttons all over the floor, Ryan bent down and photographed the buttons then bagged them. Horatio watched him do this and knew they ripped her shirt off with some force, as the buttons had flown quite far. They both took a breath and Ryan carried on, trying to put off looking at the table but he knew he had to. Ryan got his torch out and skimmed the top of the table for any other evidence. He found some trace by the blood pool and scraped it off.   
“What have you got?” Horatio asked, observing him scrape something off the table. He stepped forward over to the table, watching Ryan bag it.   
“Some trace, I’m not sure what it is.” Ryan said looking at it; they didn’t even want to think about what it could be. Horatio studied the table and the trace on it, the pit in his stomach deepened, seeing a small amount of white paste on the table by the blood pool in the middle of the table. Horatio took a deep breath as a sudden bout of nausea hit him, just thinking about what they did to her when she was taken from him.  
Ryan took a sample of the blood as he swallowed, not wanting to think about it. Horatio couldn’t watch any longer and walked out and stood outside, looking down at the floor. He just stood there, thinking, wishing it was all a terrible dream.  
Ryan and Eric eventually finished processing and walked out to the hummers with evidence.   
“H, are you okay?” Eric asked as he put the stuff in his hummer, Eric had noticed that Horatio barely said a word and didn’t even exchange a look with Frank. Horatio looked up at him from the floor. Eric could see that he wasn’t.  
“Yeah” Horatio said softly giving him a small nod.   
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this.’ Eric thought to himself.   
“Come on, I’ll give you a lift.” Eric said as he opened the passenger door for Horatio. Horatio got into the hummer and closed the door. Eric asked if Ryan was okay to drive and he said he was. They went back to the lab and began to process the evidence and Horatio went down to autopsy. Alexx was writing a few things down as Zoë laid on the autopsy table when Horatio walked in.   
“Horatio” she said a little surprised. “I haven’t managed to start yet. You shouldn’t be in here honey.” Alexx said softly.   
“I know Alexx, I had to see her.” Horatio said softly, looking down at Zoë’s peaceful body.   
“Have you found anything yet?” Horatio asked looking down at her with caring eyes.  
“She’s suffered a lot of trauma, she has defensive wounds on her arms. Did she pull her hand out of the cuffs?” Alexx asked looking down at her hand.  
“Yes, she pulled it out before she knocked out one of the men.” Horatio said looking down at her.   
“It should have been me.” Horatio said dropping his head, he wanted to touch her but knew Alexx would give him a bollocking.   
“Horatio, don’t talk like that honey.” Alexx said. “It shouldn’t have been either of you.” She added softly as she put the chart down and put her gloves on.   
“Alexx, she’s been redressed… there was a small blood pool on a table where she was taken…” Horatio said looking over her small body.   
“I know honey, I’m going to do a sex kit. Horatio, I think you should leave.” Alexx said softly. Horatio shook his head.   
“Horatio, I suggest that you leave, please.” Alexx said looking up at him, caringly.   
“Let me know when you’re going to check–” Horatio said softly, but stopped himself before he broke down.  
“Okay honey.” Alexx said gently. Horatio took one last look at her and then left. Alexx began to very gently take her clothes off. She looked over Zoë and checked for any other injuries; she took her cast off and placed it by her clothes.  
“What’s that honey?” Alexx questioned as she ran her fingers over the dark love-bite on her neck.   
“Is that… a love-bite baby girl?” She questioned as she looked at it closely.   
“Who were you seeing? You never mentioned anything to me.” Alexx said softly, knowing that the love-bite wasn’t from that morning.  
Alexx carefully rolled her over and found trace all over her back and on her legs. She took a sample and placed it down by her clothes. She studied Zoë’s back.  
“I’m so sorry honey, I’m so sorry.” Alexx said softly as she then took a breath, trying to compose herself.   
She rolled her over again and very gently took her necklace off.   
“Where did you get that baby girl? It’s beautiful.” Alexx softly said as she placed it in a bag, she then took the ring off that was on her ring finger on her right hand.   
Meanwhile back up in the lab, Eric and Ryan sent the blood and everything off to be analysed while they looked at the evidence, then they began to watch the tape.   
Halfway through the tape, Horatio walked into the lab and stood behind them, looking up at the screen. He then put his hands on his hips, as he looked down at the floor as he listened to the recorded sound. Eric and Ryan sat back with their hands over their mouths, not wanting to watch the tape. They got to just after the injection of the poison.   
‘I should have stopped him, I should have tried harder, she needed me.’ Horatio thought to himself, hearing the tape.  
Ryan and Eric both flinched when they saw Zoë smash the thug in the head with her cast. They were happy to see her fighting back, but felt terrible because they weren’t there to help and stop this from happening. They felt her pain as she pulled her left arm into her chest from pain.   
‘If that were me, I would have been in pieces. I don’t know how she managed it.’ Ryan thought, knowing that she managed to hold it together so well, he admired her bravery and strength.  
They saw her call the thugs bluff when he held the gun to Horatio’s head and they both raised their eyebrows to the ransom she held as she leant on the unconscious thugs throat. Their eyes widened as she pulled her hand out of the cuff and charged at him. They watched the tape and it seemed to look like a movie, they watched as Zoë fought against the thug which was more than twice her weight and a lot taller than her. Horatio looked up at the screen as Zoë checked for the other thugs pulse, when the effects of the toxin were really taking effect. Their hearts skipped beats as they watched her stumble.   
They saw Zoë and Horatio kiss delicately on the screen and they both turned around to look at Horatio as he looked up at the screen intensely with his eyes full of pain, he didn’t even notice them turn around. He watched her get back up and look around for the keys.  
‘Even in her last moments, she did her best to ensure I was okay. It should have been the other way around.’ Horatio growled at himself in his thoughts.  
“H, I’m so sorry, we didn’t know…” Eric said softly, seeing his eyes locked on the screen, seeing the love in Horatio’s eyes. Horatio just looked at the screen; he didn’t even hear Eric talk as he was so absorbed in the tape. Eric looked back to the screen.   
They all saw her fall to the floor as she threw the keys to Horatio. Horatio walked out quickly and they both looked back to him as he made his way back to his office. He stood by his window and cooled himself down.   
‘I can’t do this without her. I can’t. What am I supposed to do?’ He asked himself, looking down out the window, leaning against it.  
‘She’s gone, she’s actually gone. I should have stopped this day from ever happening. I should have pulled her out from the field work, I should have protected her like I am supposed to!’ Horatio lost himself in his thoughts then a new phone was delivered to his office.   
“Rest in peace beautiful, you’ll always remain in my memories, and will forever have a place in my heart. I love you, and always will.” Horatio said, looking up at the sky.  
“Marisol, I need you to take care of her for me.” Horatio said quietly, looking back down at his sunglasses in his hands.   
Eric and Ryan watched the rest of the tape. “Have we got anything from trace yet?” Ryan asked looking away from the screen, trying to take his mind off it but unable to unsee what he’d just witnessed. A tear had rolled down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away.  
“No, they’ll ring when they’ve got something.” Eric said as the tape went blank.   
“Go back to before she was given the toxin.” Eric said looking up at the screen and Ryan hit the rewind button. “Stop” Eric said when they got to a point. “Zoom in on Zoë’s face.” Eric said looking at the screen.   
“Look.” Eric said to Ryan.


	8. Chapter 8

“What?” Ryan asked, studying her face.  
“It looks like she’s playing with her lips.” Eric said softly. “She always did it, she wore lip balm, she’s probably spreading it, or whatever they do with lip balm.” Ryan said looking at him confused.   
“No, watch her after they give her the injection. She’s doing the same thing with her lips and mouth; she didn’t ever bite them, like she is doing there...” Eric said, looking at him.  
“Her lips were tingling before they gave her the injection…” Ryan said realising what Eric was saying.   
“What did they do to her when they took her out? They must have dosed her then… and then the last injection could have upped the dose to a lethal level?” Eric said looking up at the footage.   
“Why would they dose her twice?” Ryan said looking confused.   
“Perhaps it’s because there was only a camera in that room, and they obviously wanted us to find the footage.”  
“But surely they’d only give her the one injection then, in front of the camera?” Ryan questioned. They both thought about it.  
“I found some trace on the table; I’m going to chase it up.” Ryan said as he got up out of the chair. Ryan went through to trace, and Eric soon followed after. The results still weren’t in yet. Horatio found them as they began to walk down to autopsy.   
“Where are you going?” Horatio asked intensely.   
“Autopsy, something’s not right H.” Eric said as he turned to Horatio.   
“What do you mean?” Horatio asked, stepping closer, looking up at him from the floor.   
“Zoë seemed to present the symptoms before she was injected with the poison.” Ryan said meeting Horatio’s intense gaze. He looked at the both of them.   
“We think they dosed her with the poison when they took her, it’s the only explanation. We’re going down to Alexx to see if she has anything for us. Trace still hasn’t got the results.” Eric said. They began to walk and Horatio went with them. They walked in when Alexx was gently wiping the blood from her face.  
“Alexx, have you got anything for us?” Eric asked.   
“Yes honey, her clothes and items are over there, I did find some trace on her back and her legs, I’m not sure what it is, there wasn’t much.” Alexx said. All 3 of them lowered their eyebrows and then looked down at Zoë, who was laying on the table, with a sheet over her chest and over her hips. Alexx moved down to her legs where she showed them the trace.   
“It looks like the same thing I pulled from the table.” Ryan said as he leaned in to get a closer look at her legs, Eric took a look and Horatio looked over and then looked to the trolley where he picked up a bag with the trace in it. He looked at the bag.  
“That’s what I took from her back.” Alexx said softly, observing Horatio look at the sample. ‘It can’t be… if it’s all over her back as well.’ Horatio thought to himself, remembering what he thought the trace on the table was.  
“Mr Wolfe, Eric can we have a moment please.” Horatio said softly looking at the sample. They gave him a nod and picked up her clothes and items.   
“I’m going to run this.” Horatio said as Ryan asked for the sample. Ryan gave him a nod. They walked out.   
“Have you managed to check to see if she had been…” Horatio asked but couldn’t bring himself to say it.   
“I haven’t yet honey.” Alexx said softly. Horatio looked down at Zoë, he looked down at her left wrist, noticing that it had again swollen.   
“She had opened the fracture more.” Alexx said as she saw Horatio study her wrist.   
“She fought against them a few times using her wrist, while I couldn’t do anything.” Horatio said quietly, feeling incredibly guilty.   
“What’s that, Alexx?” Horatio asked as he bent down and pointed to her side. He pulled gloves on and gently moved her skin to get a better look at it, Alexx leant over her and got a look.   
“It looks like a splinter from some wood.” Alexx said softly as she walked around.   
“Do you want help turning her?” Horatio asked softly.   
“No, thank you, I don’t need to turn her.” Alexx said a little defensively. “Sorry honey, it’s been a stressful day.” She said apologising for her tone.   
“Not to worry.” He said softly as she pulled the splinter out.   
“Ouch.” Alexx said as she pulled out a 2 inch long piece of wood. She placed it in a pot and walked back around the other side.  
“Horatio, I think she was in a relationship, you need to inform the boyfriend of the news.” Horatio looked tenderly down at her pale face. He then looked back up at Alexx and then quickly back down to Zoë, looking at her affectionately. A lump in his throat formed as he swallowed.  
Alexx turned Zoë’s head and pointed out the love-bite on her neck.  
“This is why I think she was in a relationship, that and she had a beautiful necklace on that I hadn’t seen before.” Alexx said softly looking at him as he continued to look down at her.   
“Horatio, is there something else bothering you?” Alexx asked seeing the distress in his eyes. Horatio didn’t even hear Alexx. He just looked down at Zoë as he tried to think of what they had done to her and then remembering the good memories he had with her.  
Horatio stared at her in a daze, millions of thoughts running through his head.   
Alexx walked around and snapped one of her gloves off and gently rubbed Horatio’s back.   
“Horatio” she said trying to bring him back to reality. He briefly looked back at her.   
“Something’s not right Alexx.” Horatio said softly, looking back down at her. ‘Why would they dose her before they did in front of me? Was it to up the dose? Was it just to get the message across to me? What did they do?’ He questioned loudly in his own mind.  
“What did they do, sweetheart?” Horatio very softly asked Zoë.   
“Okay, Horatio you need to leave. I need to carry on with this and it’s better if you’re not here.” Alexx said, tenderly rubbing his back. Horatio took a breath and carried on looking down at her.   
“I need to wash the trace off and check for any sexual assault, okay. I’ll call you with the results.” Alexx said softly. Horatio gave her a nod, still thinking and looking down at her.   
“Is there something else Horatio?” Alexx asked, seeing his hesitance to leave. Horatio looked up to Alexx and took a breath and then looked back down to Zoë.   
“What’s wrong honey?” Alexx said softly, not having ever seen Horatio behave like this, not even when Speed died. Horatio dropped the bag of trace, as he took another deep breath looking at her.   
“Horatio honey, what’s wrong?” Alexx asked growing concerned as she bent down and picked up the bag.   
“I’m sorry Alexx.” Horatio said taking a step back from Zoë. Alexx handed him the bag again.   
“Horatio, are you okay?” Alexx asked caringly as she rubbed his arm.   
“Alexx…” Horatio began to say but stopped himself. “What honey?” Alexx asked seeing the discomfort on his face.   
“Alexx… Zoë…” Horatio began to say again, but stopped, trying to find the right words.   
“Zoë what?” Alexx asked looking up at him.   
“Zoë… I am… was in a relationship with her… I’m the boyfriend… last night we… we–” Alexx turned completely to him, realising what he was getting at. “The sex kit…” Horatio added as he looked down. She was completely shocked, she was sure Zoë would have told her, or at least told Ryan and Ryan wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about the news.   
“Okay honey, I understand. I’ll take that into consideration when doing the examination, thank you for telling me.” Horatio looked over to Alexx with distressed eyes.   
“You gave her the necklace.” Alexx said softly.  
Horatio gave her a nod. “Last night.” Horatio said softly. “I’m so sorry Horatio.” Alexx said sincerely.   
He nodded and took a deep breath. “I need to go and look at this.” Horatio said looking down at the bag. He looked over at Zoë one last time.   
“Alexx… she just moved.” Horatio said looking at her hand. Alexx’s face grew concerned.   
“Horatio, she’s gone.” Alexx said looking down at her.   
“Sweetheart” Horatio said softly as he moved closer to her.   
“Horatio, you’re grieving, you need to go and rest. Give that to Eric.” Alexx said concerned about him.   
“Look, she moved again.” Horatio said looking down at her.   
“Horatio, she really didn’t move, you’re seeing things.” Alexx said looking up to Horatio from studying her, wanting to believe him but she really didn’t move.  
“You’re okay, just take a deep breath handsome, calm down.” Horatio heard Zoë’s voice say.  
“Did you just hear that? She spoke, she’s not gone.” Horatio said to Alexx.   
“Okay honey, you really need to go now, I’m going to have Eric come down. You’re grieving Horatio.”   
Horatio took a breath and looked over at Alexx. Horatio looked around and then his eyes settled on the floor. He took another deep breath, knowing how crazy he sounded, but it felt real to him.   
“Take another deep breath.” Her voice resonated in his head. Horatio quickly looked up at her, but she hadn’t moved.   
“Don’t give up handsome; everything’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay. Stay strong, I know you can do it.” Echoed in his head in Zoë’s voice, he took another deep breath and his agitation and stress alleviated. His mind cleared ‘But I’m not sweetheart, I need you’ he thought, talking to her voice in his head.  
“I’m sorry Alexx.” Horatio apologised, with his head clearing once he didn’t hear her voice again.  
“It’s okay honey.” Alexx said rubbing his back.   
“Call me if you find anything out.” Horatio said to Alexx.   
“Of course Horatio” Alexx said softly. Horatio took one last look at Zoë and walked out while he snapped his gloves off and threw them away.   
“Okay baby girl.” Alexx said quietly to Zoë.   
Alexx began to wash Zoë’s body as Horatio went up to the lab and began to look at the trace that Alexx pulled from Zoë’s body.   
Horatio purely concentrated on finding out what the trace was.   
Eric rushed into the lab with Ryan just behind him; Horatio looked up at them as he shut the machine with the sample in.


	9. Chapter 9

Eric rushed into the lab with Ryan just behind him; Horatio looked up at them as he shut the machine with the sample in.   
“H, the substance in the needle was water, just water.” Eric said showing him the results.   
“Water?” Horatio asked taking the paper from him, looking over at it. His eyebrows lowered as he lost himself in deep thought.   
“Have you had results from the trace you pulled from the table?” Horatio asked Ryan.  
“Not yet, how about you with what Alexx found?” Ryan asked.   
“I’m running it now.” Horatio said looking from them back down at the results in his hand. He placed them down as he leant on the table, just thinking.   
“Water?” Horatio questioned to himself. They both looked at Horatio.   
The printer started to print out the results and Horatio snapped his gloves off and rushed over, followed by Eric and Ryan. Once it had finished printing, Horatio picked the results up.   
He read it and sharply inhaled and very briskly walked out of the lab.   
“H, what is it?” Eric called after him as they quickly followed him. Horatio was jogging through the lab, rushing down to autopsy followed by Eric and Ryan.  
“What is it, H?” Ryan called. ‘What is it? Is it a radioactive substance or something?’ Ryan questioned, seeing Horatio’s urgency.  
Horatio’s heart was pounding against his chest since reading the results. Horatio didn’t answer them; he just carried on jogging down there. All 3 of them were still in their lab coats.  
Horatio burst through the autopsy doors and Alexx quickly looked up and turned the water off.   
“Horatio, what are you doing?” Alexx asked shocked. She looked at both Eric and Ryan.   
“Alexx, you need to stop.” Horatio said quickly walking over to her.   
“Why? Horatio, you shouldn’t even be working.” Alexx said growing concerned. Eric and Ryan shrugged at her, still in the dark about why Horatio was doing this.  
“She may not be…. She may not be gone.” Horatio said looking down at her. “We need the paramedics here now.” Horatio said.  
“Horatio, she’s gone honey.” Alexx said softly.   
“H, what are you talking about?” Eric asked as he stepped to the side of Horatio. Horatio handed him the results.   
Eric read them and looked up at Alexx.  
“Tetrodotoxin? Blowfish poison?” Eric said out loud.  
“We had a case involving that a few years ago.” Ryan said crossing his arms, looking down at Zoë.   
“You are joking me, aren’t you?” Alexx asked.   
“No, we need those paramedics now.” Horatio said as he stepped up towards the trolley.   
“Is the substance completely off her?” Horatio questioned, looking at Alexx intensely.  
“Yes, I just finished washing it off.” She said softly, not believing what he was telling her.  
“It’s what they did when they took her.” Eric said realising, piecing it all together. Alexx sharply inhaled.   
“Phone the paramedics, she has a chance if they gave her the right amount.” Eric ordered Ryan.   
Alexx quickly opened her eyes to see if they reacted, they didn’t.   
“She has no circulation.” Alexx said looking up at them. “That’s what the poison does, it mimics death. She has a chance.” Eric said as Ryan phoned for some paramedics. Horatio put some gloves on and then opened both of her eyes himself and looked intensely into them. He looked into them for a good 30 seconds.   
“Alexx, she’s alive they’re reacting, very slowly!” Horatio said as he looked up at Alexx.  
“She can’t be.” Alexx said as she leant over and got a look. “She’s not even breathing!” Alexx said frustrated with herself. Alexx saw her pupils react very slowly. Horatio placed his hand against her chest in hope of feeling a slight rise and fall, but felt nothing.  
“My God, Eric get my first aid kit over there!” Alexx shouted pointing over to the bag on the wall.   
“Okay baby girl, you’re going to be okay.” Alexx said as she fully covered her body. Eric gave her the bag and she unzipped it, she pulled out a laryngoscope and intubated her. She bagged her and then began to try and locate a pulse. Ryan got off the phone and stood by Horatio.  
“Come on beautiful, you can do this.” Horatio said softly, whispering into her ear.  
“Her pulse is non-existent, even if she does by a miracle survive, brain damage is inevitable.” Alexx said trying to prepare them all.   
Horatio just looked down at her, tenderly looking at her, as did Ryan. Ryan now knew that both Horatio and Zoë were in a relationship but he still had intense feelings for her. The paramedics quickly walked in and checked her over as Alexx forced air into her lungs. Horatio stood next to Alexx as Ryan stood at the other end of the table along with Eric. She pulled the sheet down to reveal her chest, trying to keep her as covered as they could, they attached the ECG monitor to her. Horatio quickly pulled the sheet back up to cover her fully.  
“We have an incredibly weak and very slow heartbeat; her oxygen sats don’t look promising either.” The paramedics said to Alexx.  
“I know, but we’ve got to help her, she’s alive.” Alexx looked back down to Zoë’s placid face. “How could I not know baby girl? I’m so sorry.” Alexx said apologising to her.   
“There’s no way you could have picked up her heart rate, or her breathing for that matter, it’s virtually undetectable.” One of the paramedics said looking up at her. The other one quickly left to get the stretcher. They returned with the trolley and they carefully loaded Zoë on to it.   
“Stay with her, I have to start another autopsy. Keep me updated.” Alexx said to Horatio. Horatio gave her a nod and he then looked down at Zoë on the trolley, on the machine and being intubated.   
“Keep us updated H.” Eric said as they began to walk out. He gave them a nod. They left the room and Ryan turned to Eric.  
“What just happened? Am I going to wake up from this nightmare in a minute?” Ryan said seriously, very confused and not believing that any of this had ever happened.  
“Wolfe, this isn’t a nightmare.” Eric simply said. Alexx snapped her gloves off and put her hand to her head; she took a broken breath and looked down at the table. Completely shocked and beginning to tremble.  
“Alexx, are you okay?” Eric asked. She looked over at him and took another broken breath and hesitantly nodded her head trying to compose herself, but couldn’t believe that she almost cut Zoë open and was performing an autopsy on her while she was alive.   
“You couldn’t have seen it coming Alexx.” Eric said assuring her.   
“I almost cut her open Eric.” Alexx said looking at him, stressed.   
“Alexx, you didn’t though, focus on that.” Eric reassured her. Alexx took another breath and gave him a nod. She calmed herself.  
“I’ve got to get on with the next autopsy now.” She said softly.  
“Okay, let us know if you find anything.” Eric said as he went to leave. Ryan seemed to be in a daze.  
“Wolfe, come on. Wolfe?” Eric said and drew Ryan from the daze. “Sorry.” Ryan said blinking.   
“You alright?” Eric asked.   
“Yeah” he said softly as he sheepishly followed Eric out. They got into the lift and went up to the lab.   
“Wolfe, if you don’t want to work the case then I can get some other CSI’s in.” Eric said softly.   
“No, I want to work it.” Ryan said with confidence, wanting to catch the animal who had done this to Zoë.   
“Okay.” Eric said backing off hearing the defensiveness in Ryan’s voice. They walked into the lab and began to get on with work while Horatio got into the ambulance with Zoë.   
He had a hold of her hand as they began to drive off. They constantly monitored Zoë’s condition as they got to the hospital, Nathan was ready and waiting for her as they took her in and the paramedics updated him about her condition as Horatio had explained in the ambulance.   
Nathan gave Horatio a concerned look as Horatio walked by her side. Nathan felt for a pulse but couldn’t feel anything. He looked back at the monitor and saw her very small heartbeat.   
They wheeled her through to resus where they thoroughly checked her over. Nathan rang his superior to ask for advice since he’d never seen a case like this. He was told that all he could do was help her breathe until the toxin was eliminated from the body. When they couldn’t do anymore for her they took her up to Nathan’s ward and kept her on the ventilator. Nathan took Horatio to the side.   
“We can’t do any more for her, all we can do is keep her on the ventilator until the toxin works its way out of her body, until then, she’s going to be monitored constantly. There’s no telling what it’s done to her brain, although it’s been receiving a small amount of oxygen and blood it will have suffered. We’re going to give her something to increase her heart rate; hopefully it’ll help her to recover. But I’ve got to warn you now; it’s very likely that she’ll have suffered brain damage. I can’t tell you to what extent. We’re going to send her for an MRI in a little while to look at the blood flow in her brain.” Horatio exhaled and closed his eyes, knowing the outcome wasn’t going to be ideal.   
“We’ve got to remain hopeful; it’s what she would want.” Horatio said looking over to her. Nathan gave him a knowing nod.  
“I just need you to be aware of the complications.” Nathan said softly.   
“I understand, thank you Nathan.” Horatio said as Nathan gave his arm a caring pat.  
“I should probably give you a check over.” Nathan said looking down at the bandages on his wrists.   
“I don’t need to be checked over, just fully concentrate on Zoë.” Horatio said looking over at her.   
“Yes you do, and we’re doing everything we can for her now anyway.” Nathan said as he gently placed his hand on Horatio’s arm, very gently pushing him over to the chair.   
“It’ll be over in a bit.” Nathan said as he pulled a stool over and sat in front of the chair as Horatio sat down.   
“It’s going to sting a little.” Nathan warned as he pulled a pair of gloves on. Horatio looked round at the nurse tending to Zoë. Nathan undressed the wounds, his wrists hurt just looking at them. He cleaned them and redressed them.   
“See, didn’t take too long. Do you have any other injuries?” Nathan asked softly and Horatio looked back at him.   
“No.” Horatio said softly. “Tell him Horatio.” Horatio heard Zoë’s voice in his head. He quickly looked round at her thinking that she had just said that. “Tell him.” The voice said again and he looked back at Nathan, Nathan studied his behaviour.   
“Are you okay?” Nathan asked softly. Horatio swallowed, getting rid of the lump in his throat.   
“Yeah, I… I think I may have broken a couple of ribs, they’ve been playing up.” Horatio said honestly, after being urged by Zoë’s voice.   
“Okay, could you stand up for me please?” Nathan asked as he stood up. Horatio stood for Nathan.   
“Can you undo your shirt please?” Horatio undid his shirt and Nathan had a look at the area Horatio gestured to. Nathan then looked at the rest of the bruises that covered his waist and chest.   
“The majority of your injuries are just bruises, but I’m going to send you for an x-ray of those ribs, they could be fractured. Any stomach pain?” Nathan said softly.  
“No” Horatio replied.  
“I’ll be back with a slip for the x-ray.” Nathan said softly and Horatio gave him a nod as he looked over at Zoë and did his shirt up. Nathan came back with an x-ray slip for Horatio.   
“If you go now, you’ll be seen instantly, they’ve got no patients at the moment.” Nathan said as a tip.  
“Thank you; give me a call if anything changes.”   
“Certainly” Nathan said softly. Horatio left after looking over at Zoë again and checking that she was peaceful. Horatio left and Nathan watched over Zoë. Horatio quickly returned and Nathan went to have a look at his x-rays. He studied them a little, and noticed that they looked a little like Zoë’s old CT scans, but decided not to say anything.   
He came back. “Good news, no fractures everything’s okay.” Nathan said softly with a reassuring smile. It was now dark outside and Nathan left to give his patients one last round. Horatio rang Ryan to update them about Zoë’s condition; Ryan said that he had to come over with a sexual assault kit, due to the potential that she was raped. He got off the phone and sat there next to her, gently holding her hand, wishing for her to grip his back. He didn’t want the sexual assault kit performed on Zoë, but knew it had to be done. He was afraid of the results, he calmed himself down. He sat back and closed his eyes, imagining her smile again. He interlocked their fingers as he gently stroked the back of her hand, still envisioning her smile and laughter. It brought a smile to his face as well as a lump to his throat. He opened his eyes again and looked over at her then looked over at the nurse.   
“Zara, isn’t it?” Horatio asked.   
“Yes, it is Lieutenant.” Nurse Zara said softly.   
He gave her a nod. “You can call me Horatio.” He said taking a deep breath and she gave him a nod.   
“How’s she doing?” Horatio asked her, looking at Zoë.   
“As far as I know, as best as she can be” she said with a smile.   
“Thank you.” Horatio said looking tenderly over Zoë.   
Nathan eventually walked back in and relieved the nurse of her duty for the time being.   
“Nathan, I need to speak with you.” Horatio said looking up at him seriously, as he thought back to earlier in the day, he’d gotten so caught up in the fact that she was in fact still alive.   
“Of course” Nathan said as he sat down and listened.  
“This morning when we were… taken… we woke up in a house.” Horatio said looking from Zoë to Nathan, who was leaning forward listening to what he had to say.   
“Ryan’s coming over with a sexual assault kit.” Horatio blurted out bluntly, not being able to control his own thoughts.   
“What?” Nathan said shocked.   
“They took her and then brought her back, having been re-dressed. I couldn’t get out of the cuffs and I couldn’t stop them. We think that’s when they placed the toxin on her skin, but there’s also the potential that she was assaulted, there was a blood pool on the table where they had taken her and there’s the potential it’s from... It’s procedure, we have to look in to it.” Horatio said looking back over at Zoë.   
Nathan shook his head in disbelief, not only had they put her in the hospital, critically ill, but they could have assaulted her as well.   
“Who are these people?!” Nathan said stunned and angry.   
“You remember a few months back when Zoë walked out of the hospital when she was shot to get the people who put her there? Well, one of them wasn’t caught and is playing around with us, he’s an ex-criminal judge.” Horatio said trying to remain calm.   
“Ex-criminal judge?” Nathan asked.   
“Yes, and it makes him very dangerous and clever.” Horatio said sitting back.   
Ryan hesitantly walked through the door and looked over at Zoë.   
“H, I have the kit.” Ryan said softly as he looked over at Horatio. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about it though; Zoë was the one who was there when it came to our female victims.” Ryan said looking back down at her.   
“We can have another female CSI from another division step in. We need a doctor to perform the examination though.” Horatio said looking over at Nathan.   
“If that’s what needs to be done, then of course. But I can get a female doctor in if you both prefer it?” Nathan asked cautiously.   
“I don’t know, I can’t answer for her.” Horatio said as Ryan radioed for another female CSI.   
Horatio put his head in his hands, trying to think of what Zoë would want.   
“You” Ryan said as he got off the radio, seeing that Horatio needed a little nudge.  
“She’d want you to do it.” Ryan said confidently as Horatio looked up at Ryan.   
“I have to agree with Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said looking at Ryan and Ryan gave him a small nod.   
“Okay.” Nathan said softly. 10 minutes later, a female CSI turned up and both Ryan and Horatio walked out of the room.  
The female CSI and Nathan both began to examine Zoë while Horatio and Ryan stood outside in silence, waiting to know the news. Horatio was first to break the silence.  
“Mr Wolfe… how did you find us?” Horatio asked curious as to how they found them as both of their phones were destroyed. Ryan turned to him and gently itched his cheek with the back of his thumb and then dropped his hand and crossed his arms.   
“You have Zoë to thank for that.” Ryan said simply.   
“Her phone was destroyed.” Horatio said placing his hands on his hips. Ryan took a breath, trying to lay it all out in his head.   
“You remember a few weeks ago, you both received another threat?” Ryan asked and Horatio nodded at him.   
“Well, Zoë had a hunch that the next time he tried to do anything, he’d take you both to do it himself - she was right about that. She thought that Ratner would have spies watching both of you, so she set up a diversion – she took Eric back to the scene at the collapsed building while I went to collect a microchip. Once back, she had me put the microchip in her ankle which enabled me to locate her whereabouts whenever I needed to. When she texted me, I knew what to do. She kept them occupied with the phone, to stall time. She knew his every move, she just didn’t anticipate the toxin or how long it may have taken us to get to the scene.” Ryan said looking at him softly, knowing that it was probably a battleground in Horatio’s head. Horatio’s eyebrows rose in amazement and shock. A little smile grew across his face.   
“Sounds a lot like her” Horatio said, knowing that she saved them both.   
“Yeah, I was a little surprised as well. She didn’t want anyone else to know in case it was leaked, which would sabotage the whole plan. She couldn’t tell you, in case in a moment of panic something was said to lead them to suspect a tracking device. She thought of it all.” Ryan said looking up at him.   
“She’s a very clever woman.” Horatio said with a smile. Ryan gave him a smile and a nod.   
They both leant against the walls, remembering everything great about her.   
Finally the female CSI came out and said she’d call them with the results, she quickly left before Horatio could tell her that they were in a relationship, but knew Eric knew. Nathan came and got them; they walked back into the room and looked over Zoë.   
“It doesn’t look like there’s been any assault, however, the lab will have to confirm.” Nathan said softly, knowing that it was a very sensitive subject. They both breathed a sigh of relief.   
“Thank you Nathan.” They both said, but still feared the results from the lab. Nathan was now technically off duty but stayed with them.   
“I’ve got to leave, but update me if anything changes, please?” Ryan said softly, wanting to give Horatio sometime with her.   
“Certainly Mr Wolfe” Horatio said. Ryan gave him a nod and then looked tenderly over at Zoë and then left. Horatio sat down by Zoë and looked over her. Horatio quickly fell asleep after the long and exhausting day he’d had. Nathan kept a close eye on her. Roughly an hour and a half later, Nathan noticed her heart beat slow again. He stood up and checked her over, taking her pulse and checking her oxygen sats. He checked her eyes and then once her heart rate dropped below 25bpm, he ordered for more medication to increase her heart rate, waking Horatio up as he spoke loudly to the nurse. The nurse came back in with the injection. Horatio stood up and looked up at Nathan confused.   
“Her heart rate is dropping, I need to increase it.” Nathan said as he injected the substance. Horatio looked over at Zoë.  
“Come on sweetheart, I know you can do it.” Horatio said softly, taking hold of her relaxed hand. Her heart rate increased to 95bpm. Nathan thanked the nurse and she walked back out again.   
Nathan checked her over once again and sat down once everything had settled, Horatio did the same, but still taking a hold of her hand.   
Nathan still kept a very close eye on her, noticing that every now and then a heartbeat would appear abnormal. Suddenly her heart rate increased to 268bpm and just stopped. Nathan jumped up and pressed the emergency button. He placed his two fingers on her neck, but she had no pulse and the machine wasn’t picking up any electrical activity in the heart. Doctors and nurses flooded the room as Horatio stepped back to let them do their job, watching in utter terror. A pit in his stomach formed.  
They detached the ventilator and bagged her, starting CPR. They charged the defibrillator and gave her a shock, then carried on with CPR. They injected adrenaline into her bloodstream and shocked her again. Her eyes opened as her body laid back in the bed. They had gotten her heart rate back to normal, a little fast, but it was normal. She laid there, with her eyes open looking up at the ceiling, not moving.


	10. Chapter 10

They tried rousing her, but they got no response from light, touch or sound, not even deep pain stimulation. Once she was stable, the extra nurses and doctors left, leaving Nathan checking her over and he closed her eyes. Nathan tried rousing her again, but nothing worked.   
“Horatio, it’s not looking good.” Nathan said honestly. Horatio looked down at Zoë and swallowed hard, he then took a hold of her hand again.  
“You’re going to get through this.” Horatio said tenderly, looking down at her.   
“Zoë? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” Nathan said as he put his fingers in the palm of her hand and wiggled them.   
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan called as he let go of her hand and then began to rub her sternum. She didn’t even react to that. Nathan slowly shook his head. He exhaled, trying to think.   
Nathan tried to stimulate her vision and eyes, using light and movement, but she gave him nothing. “She’s not fighting the ventilator, suggesting that there’s minimal or no consciousness…” He said quietly, still thinking to himself. He looked down at her, still thinking.   
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio asked softly, holding her hand.   
“Sweetheart, squeeze my hand for me.” Horatio asked a little louder, but he also got no response.   
Nathan sat down, constantly monitoring her. Horatio finally sat down after willing her to give him some sort of response, but not getting anything.   
Meanwhile, Ryan had gotten into bed, still thinking about the day, not being able to sleep.   
Horatio fell asleep holding Zoë’s hand and Ryan eventually fell asleep too, Nathan wasn’t long after, the night doctor often came in to check up on her, as Nathan was now asleep. Horatio and Nathan woke up at 5.30 the next morning, Zoë hadn’t moved an inch.   
Nathan quickly popped home as Horatio sat by Zoe and looked over her.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to keep fighting.” He pleaded looking over at her, holding her hand tightly.   
“I can’t lose you, I can’t.” He said softly. “I know you’re fighting hard, but I need you to hold on in there beautiful. Don’t slip away from me, please.” Horatio said as a lump in his throat developed. He looked down at his knees, trying to compose himself.  
“You’re all I have sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he looked back up to her with slightly watery eyes. “You’re all I have.” He said very quietly again. He stood up and leant over her, placing his hand on her face as his face hovered inches from hers.  
“Hang in there sweetheart.” He said softly as he stroked her cheek and her forearm.  
“I love you.” He said as he leant down lower and tenderly kissed her forehead, he then very slowly sat back in his chair as he looked over at her, with a lump in his throat. He tenderly fiddled with her hand as he stroked her forearm and felt the smooth skin. It was the only thing that was keeping him from going insane and completely losing it. He interlocked his fingers with hers and he picked her hand up and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand where the bandage wasn’t covering. He then swallowed and kept her hand by his face and cheek as he delicately brushed the soft skin on her forearm with his other hand. He took a deep breath, composing himself and then sat back and placed her hand back on the bed as he kept a hold of it.   
Nathan came back. Ryan, Eric, Alexx and Frank all popped in during the day, evening quickly came around, Zoë didn’t move all day long. She was taken for an MRI and x-ray, the x-ray being for her wrist. The fracture in her wrist had split more; Nathan placed another aircast on her wrist. The MRI didn’t show anything conclusive. Nathan’s shift ended and he sat back in Zoë’s room, checking her over often. Horatio had a call.  
“Horatio Caine.” He answered.  
“Horatio, it’s Eric, we have Zoë’s sexual assault results.” Eric said softly. Horatio didn’t say anything; he just remained silent, waiting for Eric to tell him.   
“She wasn’t assaulted.” Eric said softly. Horatio let out a huge sigh of relief, he swallowed with a smile across his face.  
“Thank you Eric.” Horatio said with a smile, looking over at Zoë. They hung up and Horatio notified Nathan of the good news.   
They both sat back, relieved. Horatio picked up her hand again and interlocked his fingers with hers as he stroked her forearm. Nathan saw the affection in the way Horatio touched her and the love in his eyes. He knew Horatio had feelings for her; he had gotten that vibe from him plenty of times before, as well as from Ryan. He watched how Horatio stroked her forearm and then looked back down to his paperwork, only wishing he could have been closer with her. He enjoyed her company, even when she argued with him. He was only just realising it though and it was that which was bothering him.   
Horatio fell asleep, leaning over the bed with her hand in his. Nathan wasn’t long after. They were both woken by the sound of the machines alarm again. Nathan sprang out of the chair, hitting the emergency alarm. They had restarted her heart again and reattached the ventilator. Nathan quickly fell asleep, but Horatio didn’t sleep a wink after that, he kept his eyes on Zoë, observing everything that was happening with her. It wasn’t long before the sun peered through the blinds roughly around 5.30am and woke Nathan. Horatio sat up from the bed and stretched a little as Nathan got up. Horatio was feeling the full wrath of his injuries as his entire body ached and pulsated with pain.   
“I’ll see you in a while.” He said before quickly exiting after Horatio gave him a nod. Horatio took hold of her hand again and gingerly stood up. He brushed her hair back and threaded his fingers in his hair, feeling her hair seemed to relieve some of the pain.  
“Morning beautiful” he said softly and then leant over her to place a delicate kiss on her forehead. He stood back up straight and looked down at her fondly and then let go of her hand to go to the loo. He came back out after washing and drying his hands and sat back down, listening to the sound of the ventilator. He interlocked his fingers with hers and sat back, losing himself in his thoughts.   
Nathan walked back in and thoroughly checked her over, her condition hadn’t changed and she still wasn’t responding at all to him. Nathan sighed as he looked down at her, just thinking. He was quickly pulled away from her as he got an emergency page for another patient. Horatio let go of her hand and got up, walking over to the window to look out. He took a deep breath, trying to clear his head. He didn’t even want to be that far away from her and quickly walked back over to her bed, leaning against it. He took her hand in his.  
“I need you to keep fighting for me sweetheart.” Horatio said as he looked up to her placid face as he gently played with her hand.   
“You keep fighting.” He exhaled as he looked back down at her hand. He swallowed and looked back up at her face and continued to watch her, he watched the ventilator force air into her lungs. He lost himself in his thought as the sound of the ventilator threw him into a trance like state. He quickly snapped himself out of it when he began to see her laying on the floor in front of him back at the house they were held in. He pushed away from the bed and sat down, still holding her hand. The nurse came in and checked her vitals, before disappearing again.   
“I’m going to need you back at work soon beautiful, so you have to recover. I need you to wake up sweetheart.” He said softly as he stroked her hand.   
“If–” Horatio instantly stopped himself and took a deep breath. “When you get out of here, we’re going to go to your favourite restaurant and we’re going to take some time off, just you and me.” Horatio said softly, looking down at her hand as he played with it with both of his hands.  
“We’re going to go anywhere in the world that you want to go, I remember you saying how much you loved Italy and the South of France.” He said looking up at her, wishing she would answer him.   
“Or skiing, I’ve never been. You’d have to teach me.” Horatio said remembering seeing a picture of her on the wall when she was a teenager with two adults while on holiday skiing somewhere.  
“I probably won’t be very good at it mind you.” Horatio said with a small smile as he squeezed her hand.  
“I think I prefer the idea of a beach surrounding to snow, but I’ll be happy with whatever you want. You choose beautiful.” Horatio said with a small smile, looking up at her.   
“Or even a city – London, Paris or Milan.” Horatio said thinking about it.   
“We’re going to get through this.” Horatio said softly lifting her hand to his cheek, tenderly kissing the back of her hand.  
Horatio continued to talk to her until Nathan came back in an hour later.  
“Sorry about that Horatio, I had an emergency.” Nathan said as he picked up Zoë’s notes to look at the latest vital readings and then wrote down some more.  
“Not a problem.” Horatio said as he sat back, loosening his grip on Zoë’s hand.   
“Would you like a coffee, Nathan?” Horatio asked, needing a coffee himself.   
“That would be great, thank you Horatio.” Nathan said softly. Horatio nodded at him and then got up, running his hand delicately up her forearm.   
“She’s a little warm, Nathan.” Horatio said softly as he looked down at her, he placed the back of his hand against her forehead and then withdrew his hand again. Nathan placed his hand on the top of her of her arm and then picked up the thermometer and placed it in her ear.   
“She doesn’t have a temperature, she’s probably just a little warm from the blankets.” Nathan said as he placed it back on the side and then pulled the blanket down, folding it up at the end. He gave Horatio a smile to reassure him that everything was okay. Horatio looked down at her one last time before he made his way out.   
Nathan sat down in the chair and rubbed his face, relaxing after a difficult time with the emergency.   
Horatio came back in with two cups of coffee.   
“Thank you Horatio.” Nathan said as he handed him the coffee.   
“Not a problem.” Horatio said as he walked back round the other side and sat down.   
“How are your wrists feeling?” Nathan asked as he sat back.  
“They’re fine.” Horatio said. In reality they stung and hurt a lot.   
“Do you want any painkillers?” Nathan asked softly, seeing him hide the pain when he moved.   
“No thank you, they’re alright.” Horatio said, dismissing anymore conversation about his wrists. Nathan gave him a nod. Horatio exhaled and looked back over at Zoë.  
“Take the painkillers, Horatio.” Horatio heard in his head and he then looked down at his wrists and took a deep breath and looked back up at her again.   
“Just take them, for me please?” Horatio heard again, in Zoë’s voice.   
“On second thoughts, Nathan, I think I would like some painkillers, please?” Horatio questioned shyly, but knowing that if Zoë was awake, she’d be forcing him to have the painkillers anyway.  
“Of course.” Nathan said with a relieved smile and got up, quickly coming back with two tablets.   
“Thank you.” Horatio said softly and then took them.  
“Not a problem.” Nathan said with a small smile, then observed Horatio as he looked back over to Zoë. ‘You’re still telling me what to do, aren’t you?’ Horatio thought and then a smile appeared across his face, happy that he was at least hearing her in his head.   
Horatio and Nathan continued to talk until Nathan was again paged to attend another patient. Horatio placed the empty cup in the bin and sat back down next to Zoë.   
Ryan entered the room cautiously.  
“Hey H, how’s she doing?” Ryan asked softly as he made his way over to the end of the bed.  
“There’s no change, they had to resuscitate again last night, but she’s been good this morning so far.” Horatio said softly, glancing up at Ryan before looking back down at the end of her bed. Ryan gave him a nod and took a deep breath. They both knew that each other hurt to see her like this. Horatio knew Ryan had some feelings for her, he could see it in his eyes.   
“H, I’m so sorry.” Ryan said softly, knowing that Horatio must be hurting a lot. Horatio just looked back down at Zoë and exhaled.  
“How long have you two been together?” Ryan asked cautiously. Horatio looked back round to him.  
“2 and a half months.” Horatio said and Ryan gave him a nod and then he looked back over to Zoë. Ryan didn’t want to pry into their relationship, but a part of him wanted to know everything. He wanted to be with her so badly, but could now see that it was not going to happen, not only because she probably won’t regain consciousness but because she was already in a relationship.  
“Was it serious?” Ryan asked, cautiously again.   
“It still is Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said looking back at him, hearing Ryan’s words drove a knife through his heart, he believed that she was going to recover and didn’t want anyone telling him any different.   
“I’m sorry H.” Ryan said, realising what he had said, he couldn’t believe that he’d lost hope so quickly. Horatio took a breath and looked back to Zoë and watched her chest rise and fall with the ventilator sounds. Ryan walked round to the other side and stood by the bed. He wasn’t sure where he stood with Zoë anymore.   
“Can I?” Ryan asked gesturing to her hand.   
“Of course, you don’t have to ask for my permission Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said softly as he gave Ryan a small reassuring look. Ryan gave him a nod and picked up her hand that was in the cast.   
“I’m just going to make a phone call.” Horatio said softly as he got up and looked at Ryan. Ryan nodded and Horatio walked out. Horatio wanted to give him some time with her, at the back of his mind he knew the harsh reality was that Ryan may not get to say anything or spend any more time with her, he neither for that matter. He knew that there was the possibility that if she arrested again, they couldn’t get her back or that she wouldn’t ever regain consciousness. He rang Eric while he left Ryan to have some time with her.  
Back in the room Ryan brushed her arm with his hand as he looked down at her caringly.  
“You need to get better Zoë, we need you back at work, it’s too quiet without you.” Ryan said with a small smile. Remembering how the atmosphere felt when she was in the room, even if there was a dead body next to them, she always had this aura of vibrance. He remembered how the lab never seemed quiet with her there, there was always something going on. Since being at work without her there, it seemed dead and dark.  
“We’re all thinking of you sugar.” Ryan said very warmly.   
“I just wish I spent more time with you, I know we were together almost every day, but that just doesn’t seem enough.” Ryan said softly lifting her hand to kiss the back of it.   
“You can’t leave us, you know that don’t you? I’m not going to allow it, and I know Horatio won’t either.” Ryan said with his voice breaking slightly.   
“You’ve also got to get Nathan to complain about these gowns, you can’t do that if…” Ryan took a deep breath and looked down at his feet.   
“Although, you seem to wear it well” Ryan said, trying to cheer himself up as he looked back up at her.  
“Please don’t leave us Zoë.” Ryan said softly and he then lent over and gave her a delicate kiss on the side of her forehead, by the temple as he brushed her hair back. He stepped back and looked down at her hand in his. He could feel his emotions swell inside as the lump in his throat developed again. Horatio slowly walked back through the door and over to the other side of the bed. Ryan didn’t make any eye contact with him.  
“I’ve got to go H, ring if you need anything and if anything changes, please.” Ryan said, looking down at her hand.   
“Of course Mr Wolfe, thank you for seeing her, I know it means a lot to her.” Horatio said softly, looking down at her hand in Ryan’s. Ryan nodded as he felt the lump in his throat widen. He quickly exited after letting go of her hand and Horatio knew that he was cut up.   
Ryan got out of the room and quickly made his way in to the men’s restroom. He took a few deep breaths and splashed his face with cold water. He looked in the mirror and dried his face and hands, still taking deep breaths, calming himself down. He’d never felt so overwhelmed with such emotion before, it was worse than the time he held her in his arms when she had been shot, that was more of a panic than anything. He composed himself and exited the restroom, quickly getting into his car and driving home.  
Meanwhile in Zoë’s room Horatio had sat back down next to her, he was a little worried about Ryan so he messaged Alexx to check up on him. Horatio spoke warmly to Zoë, telling her how they were getting on at the lab after speaking to Eric. Half an hour passed and he felt that her arm was a little cold. He got up and placed his hand on her leg and then pulled the blanket back up over her when he felt her leg was a little cold too.  
“Is that better sweetheart?” He asked as he sat back down and adjusted his jacket.   
“You’ll warm up soon.” Horatio said softly. Nathan then walked back in and Horatio glanced over at him.   
“Another emergency?” Horatio asked softly, seeing Nathan stressed.   
“Yep, they don’t seem to stop coming today.” Nathan said as he slumped down in to the chair the other side. He looked up at the clock.   
“I need to change her bandages.” Nathan said as he got back up, pulling a pair of gloves from the glove box and picking up gauze and bandages.   
“Sorry Horatio, could I ask you to move for a moment please?” Nathan asked as Horatio got up and walked round to the other side as Nathan began to cut the old bandages off her hand, he cleaned and redressed it as Horatio watched.   
“It’s beginning to heal.” Nathan said softly as he placed her hand back down on the bed.  
“That’s good news.” Horatio said softly.   
“Now your turn” Nathan said as he threw the gloves away and put another pair on.   
“My wrists are fine.” Horatio insisted as he sat back down in the seat.  
“They’ll get infected if they’re not cleaned and you’ll end up in a bed in another room.” Nathan said as he collected some more bandages. Horatio exhaled and nodded, holding his hands out to Nathan as he pulled a stool over to him. He cleaned Horatio’s wounds and Horatio hissed in pain a little as they stung.  
“Do you want any more painkillers?” Nathan asked.  
“No thank you, I’m fine. They’re only hurting now because you’re fiddling with them.” Horatio said as he swallowed.   
“I’m sorry Horatio, it needs to be done.” Nathan said softly. Horatio nodded at him and then looked over at Zoë as Nathan redressed the wounds. Nathan pushed the stool away as he threw the gloves and old bandages away.   
“How are you feeling in general?” Nathan questioned.   
“Tell him the truth.” Horatio heard her say to him.   
“I’m just a little stiff I guess and ache here and there, nothing to worry about.” Horatio said softly, looking down at her.   
“Okay, if you want any more painkillers, just ask, okay?” Nathan questioned.   
“I will.” Horatio said softly as he took hold of her hand. There was a pause of silence between them. Horatio heard Nathan sigh. “Horatio, I’m going to be completely honest with you…” Nathan said as he picked up her notes and looked at her vitals. Horatio looked up at him, knowing what he was going to be hearing isn’t what he wants to hear. But he nodded giving Nathan the go ahead.  
“She’s not given us any sign of consciousness since being here, it’s been over 24 hours and that is the point where it usually doesn’t look good if no sign of consciousness has been seen. It is early days though, and I do still have hope, but saying that my brain is telling me that she’s probably not going to regain consciousness. I’m not telling you to bury your hope, but I don’t think she’s going to recover as much as you’d like her too. I really hate to say it, I do. There’s only a handful of patients I’ve seen come back from conditions like this, I’m just hoping she’ll be one of that handful.” Nathan said honestly looking from Zoë to Horatio and back many times.  
“I understand.” Horatio said and he then swallowed. He knew Nathan was going to say something like that.   
“We might have to talk about turning the machine off.” Nathan added quietly.  
“Let’s not talk about that, as you say it’s early days.” Horatio said, absolutely horrified about the thought of such a thing.   
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Nathan said softly as he sat back down and looked down at his feet. He hated giving bad news to people, but it felt even worse that the news was about Zoë. Nathan was once again paged and he had to quickly rush off.   
“I’m sorry you had to hear that sweetheart, I’m not giving up on you though.” Horatio said, taking her hand in his.   
“I’m not giving up.” He repeated as he exhaled and leant forward on the bed. Horatio then flicked the small TV screen on in the corner of the room and listened to the news as he warmly spoke to Zoë. Nathan went straight from the emergency to the evening round of his patients and returned to Zoë’s room.   
“Horatio, perhaps you should go and get some sleep? You’ve had a rough few days.” Nathan said as he handed him a coffee.   
“Thank you and no thank you, I’m here for the same reason you are and I suggest that you’d go and get some proper rest… but we both know that you won’t.” Horatio said, reading him like a book. Nathan exhaled a smile and nodded, knowing what he was saying was true.   
“Fair game” Nathan said as he exhaled and sat back in the chair, relaxing having the coffee. Nathan checked her over after he finished his coffee. He pulled the blanket back off her as she had gotten a little warm again.  
“Do you not have anything thinner than that blanket?” Horatio questioned.  
“No, that’s the standard hospital blanket.” Nathan said knowing that they were awful. Horatio nodded and finished his cup, throwing it in the bin once he had finished it.  
“Do you want a put-up-bed or something?” Nathan questioned, throwing his cup in the bin too.   
“No thank you, I’m happy with the chair.” Horatio said softly. Nathan gave him a nod and sat back down in his chair, pulling the paperwork from the end of Zoë’s bed and getting on with it. Horatio sat back and rested his head back against the chair, tenderly playing with her fingers. Horatio soon fell asleep and Nathan finally put his work down at 11.30pm and pulled the blanket back up over Zoë. He sat back and closed his eyes, crossing his legs at his ankles and listening to the sound of her heartbeat along with the ventilator. He slowly dozed off, only to be woken at 4am by Horatio experiencing a bad dream. Once Horatio had settled again, Nathan quickly fell back to sleep and was woken by the light coming through the blinds. He gave Zoë a quick look over and then left. Horatio woke when he heard the door close and looked up.   
“Morning beautiful” Horatio said softly as he gripped her hand.   
“Anything for me?” Horatio asked as he stood up and looked down at her as he stretched, pushing the images from his bad dream away.  
“No?” Horatio asked when she didn’t even move. Ryan walked through the door and Horatio looked up at him confused. He didn’t even think Ryan knew what before 6am looked like.   
“Mr Wolfe” Horatio said surprised.  
“Hi H, I wanted to come and see her before shift started and so you could nip home for a shower and a change of clothes.” Ryan said with a small smile. Horatio gave him a nod and a small smile.  
“Thank you.” Horatio said sincerely, Ryan knew he wouldn’t leave her unless she was with someone he completely trusted her to be with.   
“How is she?” Ryan asked as he walked up to the other side.  
“No improvement, but she’s no worse and she got through the night successfully” Horatio said as he gently squeezed her hand. Ryan gave him a nod as he looked down at Zoë’s placid face.  
“Take your time, I’m sure Eric won’t mind if I’m a little late.” Ryan said softly. Horatio gave him a nod and then left as Ryan sat down beside her.   
“Morning Zoë” Ryan said softly as he took a hold of her hand and then the love-bite on her neck caught his eye again. He only wished he was the one to give it to her.  
“How about a Chinese when you get out of here? My treat?” Ryan asked, hoping for her to reply in some way. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to get upset so steered clear of any emotional subjects and tried to keep himself composed. He wasn’t really sure what to say but wanted to sit with her, even if there was silence between them.   
He gently rubbed her hand as he sat back, just watching her. He was desperate for her to wake up, he kept anticipating that she’d wake up any minute but it never happened, instead Horatio walked through the door with a bag.   
“Thank you Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said as he placed the bag down under her bed.   
“Not a problem H, I should be going, but ring if anything changes or if you need anything.” Ryan said as he got up.   
“Will do, thank you” Horatio said with a small smile. Ryan left and Horatio sat back down, feeling fresh.   
“Hey beautiful, anything for me now?” Horatio asked as he took her hand. He exhaled when she didn’t move or make a sound. Nathan came back in after.  
“Have you changed?” Nathan asked, seeing a different shirt and suit. Horatio nodded at him.  
“When?” Nathan asked slightly confused.  
“After you went Wolfe came over, giving me time to get home and back.” Horatio said softly. Nathan gave him a nod and a smile, sitting down with a pile of papers. He flicked the small TV on and put the sound on low.   
Nathan was in and out throughout the day, Horatio kept himself occupied. Around 3.30pm Horatio’s phone beeped at him, indicating he had a voicemail.  
‘Hahahahaha good show, good show’ was all it said, Horatio instantly phoned Eric and told him to get over to the hospital. He knew it was Ratner. Eric got over fairly quickly.  
“I need you to look over the message, see if you can get anything.” Horatio said as he handed him his phone and Eric gave him a nod and then handed Horatio a spare in case he had to get hold of anyone. Eric returned an hour later with Horatio’s phone to give it back to him. Horatio briefly updated him about how Zoë was doing and he left again to get on with finding out everything he could about the message he took off Horatio’s phone.   
Nathan got back after doing the evening rounds and handed Horatio a coffee and something small to eat. He sat down with paperwork and ate a packet of crisps.   
Horatio looked over at Zoë and then checked his watch – 10.25pm. He looked back at her and softly stroked her fingers and forearm when he saw her eyes open.   
“Nathan, she’s opened her eyes.” Horatio said as he immediately stood up and squeezed her hand. Nathan quickly dumped the paperwork on the table and leant over her.  
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan asked as he shone the light into her eyes which were half open and glazed over.  
“Zoë, blink if you can hear me?” Nathan called loudly as he placed his hand on her chest and firmly rubbed her sternum. She didn’t give any reaction to the deep pain stimulation or his voice and Nathan sighed.   
“There’s no consciousness there Horatio.” Nathan said softly as he closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. For a second his hopes had shot up only to be dragged right back down. Horatio took a deep breath and nodded as he slumped back in his seat, feeling low too. Horatio took a hold of her hand again and leant on the bed, looking down at her hand in his. Nathan was quick to fall asleep with the paper on his lap. The pen fell out of his hand as he fell into a deeper sleep. Horatio stayed awake a little longer, looking over her, making sure everything was alright. He soon fell asleep with her hand in his.   
They were woken the next morning by the light and Horatio sat up and stretched as Nathan quickly checked Zoë over before heading off home to change and shower.   
Horatio brushed his teeth and washed his face before going to the loo. He walked back out into the room and leant on the side of Zoë’s bed.   
“Anything for me?” He asked as he took her hand and held it between his in his lap.   
“Even if you just open your eyes, that’s all I ask for at the moment beautiful.” Horatio asked, warmly.   
“We’re going to get through this beautiful.” Horatio said softly, he wanted to promise her that, but he’d already broken his previous promise and still felt exceptionally guilty for doing so. He couldn’t make the promise as he wasn’t sure if everything was going to be okay; he only hoped it would be.  
“You’re not going to leave me, don’t even think about leaving me, please.” Horatio asked quietly.   
“I can’t imagine life without you Zoë, I really can’t. Don’t let me experience it, please. I’ve already had a taster and I’d rather not live in a world like that.” Horatio pleaded, he felt like she was slipping away the longer she was unconscious for. He knew she was holding on with everything she had.  
“Don’t make me say goodbye because I couldn’t live with myself beautiful. I couldn’t protect you when you needed it the most, it’s my fault and I need you to pull through this so we can get him together.” Horatio said, urging her to push forward and out of the dark.   
“I love you beautiful and don’t you forget that, ever.” Horatio said as he leant over and kissed her forehead. He brushed her hair back and lightly played with it, knowing she loved it when he played with her hair. He looked up as Nathan walked in with Nurse Zara, he gave them both a small smile.  
“Zara is going to change her bandages and give her a sponge bath, so if you’d like to wait in the waiting room for a moment?” Nathan questioned and Horatio gave him a nod and withdrew his hand from her hair.   
“Keep an eye on her please.” Horatio asked as he walked past Nathan and Nathan gave him a nod and walked out with him, showing him the waiting room.   
“There’s a coffee machine in there.” Nathan said softly as he turned to walk back down the other end of the corridor.   
“Are you not staying with her?” Horatio asked before Nathan could get away. Nathan stopped and walked back to him.  
“No, I can if you want me to though?” Nathan asked, seeing the worry in Horatio’s eyes.   
“I just… I–” Horatio fell over his words, he wanted to be there with her, but Nathan would be the next best thing, especially if she was to get worse.   
“Do you want me to stay with her?” Nathan asked softly, knowing the worry he felt. Nathan worried slightly every time he left her room. Horatio took a deep breath and nodded.   
He wanted to ask if he, himself could go back in. But wasn’t sure if Zoë wanted the whole world to know about their relationship, he wanted to keep it on the down low for the moment. He nodded at Nathan.  
“Of course I will. I’ll come and get you after, okay? Just try and relax.” Nathan said, seeing the stress in Horatio’s eyes. Nathan walked back up the corridor and into Zoë’s room.   
Horatio got a coffee and sat in the waiting area with his head back against the wall hoping for Nathan to walk through the door any minute saying that all was well. Eric phoned him to say that he hadn’t gotten anything on the message Ratner had left. Nathan came back in 25minutes later.  
“We’re all done, want to come back in?” Nathan asked with a small smile. Horatio got up and walked over to him.  
“Thank you Nathan.” Horatio said warmly as they walked down the corridor and back into the room as the nurse left.   
“Time for your bandages as well” Nathan said as he pulled on a pair of gloves and pushed the stool over to the chair Horatio was going to sit in. Horatio just looked at Nathan.   
“I have to.” Nathan said as he walked over to pick up some gauze and bandages. Nathan cleaned and re-dressed the wounds, commenting on the fact that they were beginning to heal nicely.  
“Everything okay with Zoë?” Horatio asked as he looked over at her.   
“Yes, all is good.” Nathan said as he put the last bit of tape on Horatio’s wrists. Horatio gave him a nod after he was done and Nathan snapped his gloves off, throwing them away.   
Nathan was called out to an emergency and left Horatio with Zoë. Horatio spoke to her most of the day but had a few naps after having a restless night. Nathan came in now and again, making sure not to wake Horatio when he was asleep. He finally finished his shift and walked back in when Horatio was just getting up.   
“Do you mind if I use the shower in there? It’s easier than going home.” Horatio questioned.   
“Of course not, go right ahead.” Nathan replied. Horatio nodded and pulled out a towel and clean boxers. He didn’t bother changing his shirt or trousers as he’d only be sitting around in them. He had a quick shower and walked out after drying his hair.   
“Feeling better?” Nathan asked with a smile.  
“Much.” Horatio replied as he sat down, putting the towel over his bag under the bed to dry.   
“You guys really do stick together; I’ve never seen a team so dedicated to each other.” Nathan said casually as he looked up from his paperwork. Horatio gave him a small shy smile and then looked down as his feet as he leaned back. Horatio and Nathan casually had a conversation about general things, Nathan got them both a coffee and they continued to talk.  
Around 9.45pm, Zoë opened her eyes again and Nathan shone the torch in her eyes. “Zoë, can you hear me?” He asked loudly, but got no response. Horatio stood up and very gently held her hand.   
Nathan firmly rubbed her sternum and she reacted, she tried to withdraw from the pain. As she moved slightly, a smile grew across Nathan’s face.   
“That’s a good sign Horatio.” Nathan said looking up at him. A small smile appeared across Horatio’s face as he very gently rubbed her hand.   
“Zoë can you hear me sweet?” Nathan asked as he shone the light in her eyes again but got no response.   
“Zoë can you blink for me? Nathan asked as he looked at her placid face and studied her glazed over eyes.   
“Squeeze my hand Zoe.” He asked loudly as he wiggled his fingers in the palm of her left hand. He got no response yet again.   
“Okay sweet, well done.” Nathan said loudly as he closed her eyes again and sat back down, writing a few things in her notes. They both relaxed, and fell asleep as the night doctor took over.   
The next day came around quickly, Nathan had popped home and Horatio freshened up in the en-suite quickly before coming back out to sit by Zoë’s side.   
“Can you hear me beautiful?” Horatio questioned as he softly played with her fingers.  
“You’re doing really well sweetheart, I need you to keep up the progress.” Horatio said softly, looking down at her small fingers and he took a deep breath.  
“You’re reacting to pain now; we’re both very happy about it. I’m so proud of you beautiful, I know you’re fighting in there, I know you’re fighting hard. Keep it up beautiful.” Horatio said softly. He sat back and held her hand in his.  
About 1.30 in the afternoon when Nathan came back to check up on Zoë, he checked her over and then rubbed her sternum again, resulting in her withdrawing from his hand. Ryan and Eric both came to visit but couldn’t stay long, they were both thrilled to hear that she was at least reacting to pain. Nathan’s shift ended. Again he sat back down by Zoë, checking her over often. Zoë reacted to the sternum rub throughout the night. Horatio had another rough night of sleeping; he was assaulted by many bad dreams and memories, both of the past and present.   
Nathan was woken that morning by Horatio as he called out for Zoë in his sleep. Nathan’s heart melted, he heard the passion in Horatio’s voice as he called her name. Horatio soon woke as Nathan got up and checked Zoë over. Nathan looked over to Horatio as he ran his hands through his hair, looking over at Zoë intensely.  
“Everything okay?” Nathan asked seeing the worry in Horatio’s eyes, Horatio just nodded at him and got up, he freshened up in the en-suite and walked out just as Nathan was leaving to pop home. They exchanged a smile and Horatio walked back over to Zoë. He stood up by her head and stroked her hair. He exhaled steadily and then placed the back of his hand against her forehead again, feeling her again quite warm. He pulled the blanket down and sorted out her gown before sitting back in his chair and playing with her fingers. Horatio sat back and rested his eyes as he continued to play with her fingers. Nathan quickly walked back in, looking slightly stressed again after his morning rounds.   
“Coffee?” Nathan questioned lightly, seeing how delicately he was playing with her fingers, he didn’t even seem to know he was doing it.   
“Please.” Horatio replied and Nathan got them a coffee and sat back down after handing it to Horatio. Roughly 10 minutes after Alexx popped by.  
“Hey, how’s she doing?” She questioned as she walked up to the end of her bed.  
“She’s reacting to deep pain stimulation, so it’s a definite improvement from when she was brought in.” Nathan said softly. Alexx nodded at him and looked over at Horatio softly.  
“How are you both doing?” Alexx asked, seeing how shattered they both looked.  
Horatio nodded with a smile, silently telling her he was good.   
“I’m good.” Nathan said softly before he sipped his coffee. Alexx gave them both a nod and walked round to stand beside Horatio as he delicately played with her fingers with his left as he held the cup in his right.  
“You know she’s going to hate you for making her wear that gown, don’t you?” Alexx said to Nathan with a small smile. Trying to make herself feel better, she was still incredibly hurt as she almost cut her open. She blamed herself for not thoroughly checking, although she never thoroughly checked; they either had a pulse or they didn’t. Horatio smiled a little and nodded as Alexx placed a hand on his shoulder. Nathan nodded with a smile also, knowing it was true; she would have had his head already if she was conscious. Alexx smiled and then looked up at Zoë’s face and listened to the ventilator breathe for her.   
“I need to get back, keep me updated.” Alexx said as she dropped her hand from Horatio’s shoulder. She couldn’t look at Zoë any longer without seeing her back on the table in front of her. They both gave her a nod and she quickly walked out, feeling stressed and upset but mainly angry with herself. She knew she had to get on with it though and push it to the back of her mind to focus on the days tasks.  
They both heard an abnormal heart beat every now and then, Nathan stood up and looked at the monitor intensely, seeing that every now and then 3 beats would be very close together.  
“She’s not… it’s not like the other night, is it?” Horatio asked, beginning to get very worried.  
“No, it’s different. I’m just going to keep an eye on her for now.” Nathan said softly as he checked her over again, listening to her chest.   
Nathan sat back down, watching her like a hawk, looking up at the monitor every now and then. Horatio brushed her forearm delicately as he quickly finished his coffee to free his other hand and then took a hold of Zoë’s hand. 5 minutes later the abnormal heart beats had stopped and Horatio looked at Nathan, silently asking him what it was.  
“I cannot tell you what caused that…” Nathan said, still slightly confused himself.  
He was paged to attend an emergency and left, telling Horatio to call a nurse if he wasn’t available if anything happened that he wasn’t comfortable with, like the abnormal heart beat. Horatio nodded and looked back down at Zoë.   
Horatio flicked the TV on quietly and listened to it in the back ground as he gently spoke to Zoë before getting up and walking over to the window to stretch his legs. He leant against the window frame and looked out, looking over at Zoë a lot, making sure everything was okay.  
Zara walked in.  
“Hi Horatio, I’ve just been paged by Nathan to give Zoë a sponge bath, do you want to wait outside?” She asked sweetly. She saw the hesitance in Horatio’s eyes.   
“Or I could just pull the curtain and you stay there?” She asked, knowing that they had a close relationship as Nathan often talked about how amazed he was with the relationship their team had with each other. Horatio nodded, preferring the sound of that answer.   
Zara pulled the curtain around the bed. Horatio looked outside, observing the trees blow in the wind and people walk around. He watched some doctors stood around the back of the hospital, having a cheeky cigarette while on duty. He was looking at the back of the hospital, but it was just as busy as the front. He lost himself in thought as he watched people walk by, chatting away as if there wasn’t a care in the world. He saw some nurses join the doctors with a cup of coffee in their hands as they pulled out cigarettes too.   
Zara pulled the curtain back and gave Horatio as smile. She walked out with the bowl, sponge, soap and dry shampoo and conditioner with her old gown and shorts.   
Horatio felt so helpless; there was nothing he could do for her. Horatio sat back in the chair and then Zara came back in again.  
“Do you mind if I change your bandages?” She questioned softly. Horatio gave her the go ahead and she quickly cleaned and re-dressed them, saying that they looked good and were healing nicely. Zara left having disposed of the old bandages and left Horatio with Zoë.   
Horatio lent on the bed and realised he’d been there for just under a week after looking at his watch. He took her hand in his and gently stroked her forearm.  
“You’re not slipping away are you beautiful? You are still fighting, aren’t you?” He questioned.   
“Because you’ve got to fight, you’re my Zoë and you’re a fighter.” Horatio said looking at her, watching the ventilator breathe for her.  
“You’ve got to tell Nathan off for having to wear the gown…” Horatio said softly as he then adjusted the blanket over her.  
“When was the last time you ate?” Horatio heard in her voice. He looked up at her but she hadn’t moved. He then realised that he hadn’t actually eaten a proper meal in a week, he’d just snacked and had some coffee.  
“You’re still telling me off…” Horatio said softly with a smile. He knew it was his brain telling him to eat, most likely it was subconscious. He knew he wouldn’t listen to himself so he heard it in Zoë’s voice. Nathan walked in and slumped in the chair, raising his hands to his face and sighed.  
“Sorry Horatio.” Nathan said softly as he dropped his hands to his thighs.   
“Not a problem.” Horatio said softly as he looked from Nathan out the window then down to Zoë’s hand.  
“Did Zara come in earlier?” Nathan questioned and Horatio gave him a nod.   
“I think I’m going to go and get something to eat from the canteen, are you going to stay here?” Horatio asked softly.  
“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all week.” Nathan said with a small smile. “Yes, I’m staying here, if I need to leave, I’ll have one of the nurses look over her.” Nathan said as Horatio got up and gave him a nod and left.  
“Come on you, I need some good news.” Nathan said softly as he got up and then checked her over.   
“No good news? Not even for me?” He questioned as he stood back from the bed and folded his arms. Nathan couldn’t help himself but he kept looking at the dark patch on her neck and was sure it was a love-bite. He told himself to stop being stupid and paranoid as he also really liked her, but knew nothing would have ever happened between them, even if she was well. But he didn’t like the idea of her with another man. He was sure Horatio would have told him if she was in a relationship with someone, but he didn’t think that she was in the relationship with Horatio. Not even with all the signs of love and affection that Horatio emitted. He pushed it back away out of his thoughts after he wondered if it was done during the time she was taken.  
“I’m so sorry any of this happened, if I could do anything to change the outcome of this I’d go back and do it, no matter of what the consequences were.” Nathan said softly and then he took a deep breath.  
“How are your bruises doing?” Nathan asked as he leant over and picked up her right arm, looking at the defensive bruises which were now at their darkest. He placed her arm down and then pulled her gown up and bunched it up at her chest and gently felt around her stomach and studied the bruises that covered her ribs. He gently pulled the side of her shorts down to look at the bruises on her hips and then sorted the shorts out before pulling the gown back down. He pulled the blanket back up over her and sat down, putting his head in his hand, disgusted that there could be people out in the world who could do such things. Horatio came through the door sometime after and handed him a cup of coffee.  
Nathan updated Horatio about the bruises and said that they should start to fade now.   
Horatio gave him a nod, knowing his bruises were at their worst right then too. Before long Nathan had to get off and do the evening rounds. Ryan rang Horatio to ask how Zoë was doing and he told him that nothing had changed.  
Nathan came back in with a packet of crisps and handed Horatio a packet. Horatio looked down at them and exhaled with a small smile. He knew Zoë loved crisps; he’d always find packets in her car.   
“I think your love of crisps is coming close to Zoë’s…” Horatio said with a small smile.   
“You should see my car…” He replied with a smile.  
“You should see hers…” Horatio replied back with a slight chuckle. He opened his packet and sat back, with a smile on his face as he ate them. He thought if Zoë couldn’t have them, then he’d have them for her. Nathan went back to doing his paperwork. Horatio threw the crisp packet in the bin after finishing them and went to wash his hands before sitting back down and taking a hold of her hand as he looked up and watched the news, seeing a clip that was shot earlier with Ryan and Eric pushing past them refusing to answer any questions about what had happened to Zoë. He sighed as he looked at it and played with her fingers without realising he was doing it. He had a quick shower and sat back down with Zoë, playing with her fingers again as he stroked her forearm.  
Horatio soon fell asleep after having a very disturbed sleep the night before. Nathan checked her over a few more times before finishing his paperwork around 11.45pm and then dozed off to sleep slowly, listening to her heartbeat and the ventilator.  
Morning came and Nathan got to work. Frank and Ryan visited briefly. At roughly 3.45pm, Nathan checked on her again. As he used painful stimuli to get a response, Zoë let out a very small, very quiet moan. It brought a smile to both of their faces.  
“Zoë can you hear me?” He asked loudly, opening her eyes and looking in to them.  
“Zoë if you can hear me open your eyes.” Nathan called as he let them close again. He got no response from her.  
“That is still a very good sign.” Nathan said softly looking up to Horatio. Horatio looked down at her, smiling, it was progress and it boosted their hope back up after they were beginning to lose hope. Nathan checked her over properly as Horatio took a hold of her hand and delicately ran his hand up her arm, just feeling her skin soothed his pain a little, mentally and physically. Zara came back in and gave her another sponge bath while Horatio stood by the window with Nathan.  
“Nathan, could you come here a moment please?” Zara called. Nathan quickly walked round the curtain and walked in, Horatio listened intensely.  
“That wasn’t there the other day.” Zara said softly.  
“No need to worry, that’s from the sternum rub after a prolonged time of it being performed.” Nathan said softly. Horatio exhaled a sigh of relief, knowing it wasn’t anything serious. Nathan walked back round.  
“Just a bruise” Nathan said softly, reassuring him. Horatio gave him a nod and Zara finished up and walked out having changed her gown and shorts as well as her bandages.  
Nathan pushed the curtain back and Horatio sat back down next to her, he quickly changed Horatio’s bandages.  
Nathan left and came back a few times. Alexx and Ryan visited, Horatio updated them and it brought a smile to their faces, knowing that she had made some progress. They left and Nathan’s shift ended.   
Again, Nathan stayed by her side, he felt like he needed to see her through constantly.   
The next day, Frank, Alexx, Ryan and Eric all visited, giving Horatio support and keeping him company. She was given a sponge bath when they all left. Saturday night came around and Nathan had finished his shift, and had his day off the next day. Ryan had popped back over, Horatio quickly nipped home to get changed and showered as well as pick up some clean clothes and get a larger meal. He came back and Ryan left. Roughly 11.25 at night, Nathan checked her over again, he rubbed her sternum, causing her to moan, however, this time she moved her arm about 2 inches towards her hip. Nathan smiled and a wide grin appeared across Horatio’s face.   
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan asked. He placed his hand in her right hand once Horatio let go of her hand to let him do his job.   
“Zoë, can you squeeze my fingers for me please?” He asked as he wiggled his fingers against her palm. She didn’t respond to him and he went back to checking her over again. The night drifted past, and both Horatio and Nathan woke the next morning as the sun shone through the blinds.   
Nathan got them both a coffee and sat back down beside Zoë.   
“How come you were working last Sunday if it was your day off?” Horatio asked, realising that he’d been in there with her for over a week.   
“They were short staffed so I stayed.” Nathan said with a small smile. They continued to chat to each other to pass the time. 45 minutes later, Zoë opened her eyes and began to fight with the ventilator. Nathan immediately rose and checked her over. Her heart rate had elevated slightly.   
“Zoë, stay calm for me sweet, don’t fight the ventilator.” He said softly as Horatio took a tight hold of her hand and stroked her forearm delicately.   
“Is she awake?” Horatio asked quickly.  
“Zoë, I’m going to take the tube out of your mouth, okay? Just stay calm for me sweet.” He said softly as he pulled his gloves on. He laid the bed flat and then pulled the bed out and stood behind her head; he very gently pulled the tube out and placed it on the side. He placed both of his hands either side of her head. Horatio was standing, looking down at her, gently rubbing her hand and forearm.   
“Zoë? Zoë, I need you to stay calm for me sweet, you’re okay. Just try and breathe.” Nathan said warmly as Zoë just looked straight up. He looked into her eyes, they were still glazed over, but she had some level of consciousness. He straightened her head out and pulled her jaw forward as he pulled the pillow from behind her head and threw it down to the end of the bed.  
“Zoë, I need you to breathe for me sweet.” Nathan said gently rubbing her cheeks.   
“Zoë, take a breath for me.” Nathan said loudly beginning to think that he’d have to put her back on the ventilator.  
“Breathe for us sweetheart, you can do it. Breathe.” Horatio said loudly, rubbing her arm. Nathan then leant over her and rubbed her sternum again. She took a broken breath.   
“That’s it Zoë, breathe for me.” Nathan willed her. She exhaled and took another short, shallow breath. He held her jaw forwards, keeping her airways as clear as he could and gently rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs.  
“Sweetheart, breathe.” Horatio said softly.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to breathe.” Horatio said rubbing her hand and forearm as Horatio began to worry.  
“Why isn’t she breathing?” Horatio frantically asked, very concerned.  
“She needs more support.” Nathan said as he quickly moved from behind her and pulled out another tube from a tray.  
“Okay sweet, I’m just going to put another tube in to help you breathe. It’s going to be okay.” Nathan said loudly as he quickly got back in behind her.  
“It’s nothing to worry about Horatio, it’s just a little too early for her.” Nathan assured him as he pushed for one of the nurses to attend. He began to try and intubate her again but as he stuck the laryngoscope in her mouth and down her throat with the tube she began to gag on the tube again. Zara walked through the door.  
“Help me roll her.” Nathan said as Zara rushed round and helped roll her on to her side as Nathan got the suction and cleared her airways.   
“Zoë I need you to breathe for me otherwise I have to put you on the ventilator.” Nathan said loudly as they rolled her back onto her back. He placed his hands back on the sides of her face and pulled her jaw forwards.  
“Come on sweet.” Nathan called.  
“Sweetheart, breathe for us. Sweetheart breathe.” Horatio said loudly, rubbing her arm a little more forcefully. Zara rubbed her sternum and she took another breath, a little deeper this time and slowly exhaled. Zara withdrew her hand and looked down at her.  
“Well done sweet. You’re doing really well.” Nathan said still stroking her cheeks. She took another breath, deeper again. He gave Zara a nod and she left.  
“Her lungs are just getting used to working on their own again.” Nathan said briefly looking up at Horatio as he continued to rub her cheeks with his thumbs.  
“Well done Zoë, keep that breathing up for me.” Nathan said as he let go of her head and pulled the oxygen mask from the wall and very gently placed it over her mouth and nose. She closed her eyes again.  
“Horatio could you pass the pillow back please” Nathan asked looking up at the end of the bed. Horatio quickly passed him the pillow and slid it behind her head as Nathan adjusted her head to keep her airways open.  
“You’re doing really well sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he took hold of her hand again and slowly stroked her arm.  
Nathan continued to stand behind her head and then opened both of her eyes. He shone the torch in her eyes and she clenched her jaw and tried to move her head to the side.   
“I’m sorry sweet. You’re doing so well.” Nathan said softly. He let go of her head and she turned it to the side and let out a small moan. Nathan very gently ran his fingers through her hair to try and get some sort of response from her. She began to make a chewing motion with her mouth.   
“Zoë, don’t bite your tongue.” Nathan said softly as he very gently turned her head again to face up. He very gently rubbed her cheeks and she stopped the chewing motion. She opened her eyes again and looked up.   
“Zoë, blink if you can hear me.” Nathan said softly but didn’t get a response from her. After about 30 seconds she moved her eyes slowly to look over to the side, by the window.   
“That’s it sweet, you’re okay.” She looked back up at Nathan and then looked round to the other side. She caught a view of Horatio and her eyes settled on him for a few seconds, before moving along again quickly.   
“Zoë, I need you to blink if you can hear me.” Nathan said as he walked around to stand by Horatio and took a hold of her hand as Horatio let go. He gently placed his two fingers in the palm of her hand.   
“Zoë, squeeze my hand.” Nathan said softly. She didn’t squeeze his hand.   
“Well done Zoë, you’ve done really well.” He said softly as she closed her eyes again. Horatio looked to Nathan.   
“She didn’t recognise us?” Horatio asked, concerned.   
“No, she didn’t seem to be aware of the surroundings, but this is to be expected. I’ve got to warn you, this may be her limits and she may not be able to do much more, or she could make more recovery, which I hope she does and if by a miracle she could talk to us and recognise us, I’d be absolutely astonished. I really can’t tell you how far she’s going to recover.” Nathan said honestly.   
“I understand.” Horatio said softly. Nathan pulled the head of the bed up slightly, so she wasn’t lying flat anymore.  
“But I can tell you; initially I didn’t expect her to make this much of a recovery. She’s done exceptionally well, even if it has taken over a week, it’s a definite improvement.” Nathan said with a smile, very happy. Horatio gave him a small smile and looked down at her before they both sat again. An hour later, she opened her eyes again. She looked straight forward. Nathan stood and rubbed on her sternum, causing her to moan. She lifted her right hand and tried to bring it up to her chest but was too weak and dropped it on her stomach.   
“Well done sweet.” Nathan said as he shone the torch in her eyes again. She turned her head away from them and looked towards the window.   
“Zoë, can you look at me?” Nathan asked clearly. She didn’t seem to respond to him. He pinched her earlobe to get a response and she turned her head again to look to their side. She seemed to look around the room; she looked up at Nathan, then to Horatio. She looked at the both of their faces, and then looked forward again and then over to the window.   
“Zoë, do you know who we are?” Nathan said softly and then he gently placed his hand on her arm. She looked down at her arm and observed his hand.   
“Okay sweet.” Nathan said. He looked at Horatio.   
“There’s something I’d like to try, with your permission.” Nathan said as he gently stroked her arm. She seemed to watch his hand.   
“What is it?” Horatio asked curiously.  
“I’d like to get a nurse in here, we’ll know from her response if she’s at all recognising people.” Nathan said softly. Horatio took a deep breath and thought about it for the moment. He didn’t want to cause Zoë any unnecessary stress, especially in her condition. But knew Nathan wanted to do it to test her awareness. He looked down at her and thought as he watched her looking at Nathan’s hand, looking a little confused.   
“Okay, but if she becomes distressed, I want the nurse straight out of here.” Horatio said exhaling looking back to Nathan.   
“Of course” Nathan said softly.   
“Zoë, I’ll be right back.” Nathan said clearly as he stepped away from her bedside.   
Horatio looked down at her tenderly as her eyes wandered over to her other arm and followed the IV line up her arm.   
Horatio could see her trying to think. He very gently placed his hand in hers and she looked over at his hand. She followed his arm up and studied his face. He gave her a gentle smile. He very tenderly squeezed her hand and she looked back down at his hand, tilting her head a little. He could see that she was thinking hard.   
“You’re doing really well sweetheart, I’m so proud of you.” Horatio said to her with a smile. Her eyes fixed on his hand as she watched Horatio’s fingers play with hers.   
Nathan came back in with Zara following, they stood the other side of the bed. Horatio gave them both a nod as he withdrew his hand from hers. She watched him place his hand on his hip and he continued to look down at her, seeing her study his hand.  
“I don’t think she’s responding to sound at the moment, but if you touch her, she’ll look over at you. If she becomes distressed, I want you to just walk straight back out. Okay?” Nathan said softly. Zara nodded at him and Nathan stepped away and to the other side of Zara as she stepped up to Zoë’s bed. She was still fixating on Horatio’s hand on his hip until the nurse gently placed her hand on Zoë’s arm, a little afraid, remembering her previous encounters with Zoe. Zoë turned her head and looked down at her hand.


	11. Chapter 11

The nurse very gently stroked her arm with her thumb, Zoë’s eyes travelled up her arm and she studied the nurse’s face a little. She observed the nurse and then looked back down at her hand.   
“Okay, thank you Zara.” Nathan said softly and Zara left. Nathan exhaled through his nose.   
“She’s not recognising people; I think all her brain can process at this moment in time is touch and light, not memories or sound. I’m not a specialist though, but my father was and I have seen some cases like this.” Nathan said as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not really with us, are you?” He said softly with a very caring look. She looked over to his hand on her shoulder.  
Horatio placed his hand in hers again and she then looked down at his hand as he gently squeezed her hand. “She’s definitely thinking though, I can see it on her face.” Horatio said looking up at Nathan.   
“She’s probably trying to make the connections she once had.” Nathan said looking over at Horatio. Zoë began to chew on her tongue again.   
“Zoë sweet, don’t chew on your tongue.” Nathan said softly as he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She looked down at his hand and stopped chewing her tongue and turned her head away from his hand.   
“Why is she biting her tongue?” Horatio asked, looking down at her tenderly.  
“I can’t tell you for sure, but perhaps it’s because it’s a new sensation? The pain medication we’ve given her for her hand and bruises will dull the pain of chewing on her tongue, therefore she could bite too hard which is why I don’t want her to chew.” Nathan said softly. Horatio nodded as he looked back down at her. Nathan dropped his hand to her shoulder again. She took a deep breath and her eyes slowly closed. Horatio sat down, letting go of her hand.   
“She’s made progress though, she’s recognising touch and where on her body is being touched.” Nathan said reassuring Horatio. He nodded and looked over at Zoë’s sleeping form. He was thrilled that she had made so much progress, when she wasn’t even expected to regain any form of consciousness, but the fact that she didn’t recognise him drove a knife through his heart. He remained hopeful though. They sat there, discussing a few things every now and then until Zoë began to wake an hour later. She took a deep breath and began chewing on her tongue again.   
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan said as he gently stroked her cheek and she stopped chewing again.  
“Zoë, look at me if you can hear me.” Nathan called clearly. She moved her left hand and then looked down at it. She began to try and bend her wrist, but the aircast kept her wrist from moving. She studied the aircast again intensely, trying to move her wrist again.   
“Sweet, you’ve got a fractured wrist, try not to move it.” Nathan said as he very gently took a hold of her arm and placed it down on the bed. Horatio took another grip of her hand as he stood up and leant on the bed, gently squeezing her hand. She looked down at his hand again and then to his other hand as he placed it on her arm. She looked back to his hand as he squeezed it a little tighter. She tilted her head slightly and focused intensely on his hand. He observed her studying his hand; he could see her thinking hard. She very gently squeezed his hand back as her left hand also clenched lightly.   
“Well done sweetheart.” Horatio said as a smile grew across his face. Nathan observed Zoë’s facial expression, he could see how hard she was thinking.   
“Horatio, do you mind if I–” Nathan began.  
“Not at all” Horatio said happily as he moved up closer to her head, letting go of her hand. She watched Horatio’s hands as they slid up the bed. Nathan placed two fingers against her palms and gently wiggled his fingers against them. She looked down at her right hand and lightly gripped his fingers. He continued to wiggle his fingers against her left until her hand very loosely gripped those fingers as well. She let go about 30 seconds later as Horatio placed his hand on her shoulder. Zoë continued to clench her fists, repeatedly, looking down at them.  
Nathan gently pulled the blanket off her legs and the cold air rushed in and surrounded her legs. She looked down and studied Nathan. Horatio watched her eyes observe him and what he was doing, he hadn’t ever seen her so calm in the hospital before. Nathan picked up a long plastic rod and ran it down the sole of her foot and looked up at her for her response. She screwed her face up slightly and looked at his hands. He did the same to her other foot and she responded the same way with a small moan as she tried to withdraw her foot.  
“I’m sorry Zoë.” He said softly as he pulled the blanket back over her. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out, she looked back at Horatio’s hand as his thumb gently stroked her collar bone. She looked up at him and studied his glistening light blue eyes as they reflected the light out of the window. He gave her a smile and her eyes dropped to study his mouth. She then looked over towards the door and began to chew on her tongue again. She lowered her eyebrows and they could see her getting stressed.  
“Hey, no chewing” Nathan said as he placed his hand on her cheek and gently stroked, she clenched her hands again and slowly moved her head as she stopped chewing and looked down at her feet which lay under the blanket. She took a deep breath and began chewing again.  
“She needs some rest.” Nathan said, seeing her grow agitated, Horatio ran a hand through her hair and she stopped the chewing again. He withdrew his hands and Horatio did the same, but all Horatio wanted to do was hold her tightly. She moved both of her feet and watched the blanket move over them. Her eyes began to close again and she rested her head back into the pillow. Two hours later Ryan walked in, they updated him and 10 minutes later Zoë began to wake again. Ryan stood by Nathan and looked at Zoë tenderly.   
“Can she hear us?” Ryan asked, unsure.   
“I think that she is hearing well, but whether her brain is processing it, I can’t tell you. She’s not responding to sound if that’s what you’re asking.” Nathan said softly looking up at Ryan.   
“Can I?” Ryan asked as he gestured towards her hand.   
“Of course” Nathan said as he took a step back. Ryan looked up at Horatio and Horatio gave him a nod. Ryan very gently touched Zoë’s left hand and stroked it with the back of his fingers.   
“Hey” Ryan said warmly with a compassionate smile as he laid his soft eyes on her. Zoë looked down at his hand and studied it. Ryan watched her intensely, observing her response. He placed his fingers on her palm and squeezed her hand, she tilted her head a little and lowered her eyebrows, thinking again. She very gently squeezed his back and a smile beamed across his face as her eyes travelled up his arm and settled on his face, she studied his eyes and his smile and let go of his hand as she looked down at his pink and black stripy tie. She pulled her hand out of his and weakly lifted her hand to take a loose hold of his tie. She studied it a little and began to chew on her tongue again. She let go as she looked down at her feet as she began to move them and felt the blanket brush across her legs.   
“Sweetheart, don’t chew your tongue.” Horatio said as he tenderly stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She stopped chewing her tongue as Horatio stroked her cheek. She began to concentrate on trying to move her right leg, she clenched her fist with the blanket in her palm as she tried to bring her knee up. Ryan began to gently stroke her arm and she stopped what she was doing and focused back on his hand. She began to chew her tongue again and Horatio began to stroke her cheek and she stopped and looked up at him.   
She began to get a little stressed and they could all see her breathing becoming heavier as she screwed up her face slightly and lowered her eyebrows.   
“I think she needs some rest for a moment, her brain is probably not coping with the amount of signals she’s getting. I’d imagine that it’s a very stressful time for her at the moment.” Nathan said as Ryan withdrew his hand. Zoë pushed her head into the pillow and clenched her jaw and right fist.  
“It’s alright sweetheart.” Horatio said softly. He withdrew his hand from her face as she looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath as Horatio threaded his fingers in her hair and began to play with her hair. He saw her beginning to relax and she closed her eyes, she soon fell asleep again. They pulled the safety bars up in case she began to panic when she next woke. Ryan left feeling a lot happier and could still feel her squeezing his hand loosely, Nathan and Horatio sat back down until Zoë began to stir again 30 minutes later. She turned her head as she clenched her fists. She opened her eyes and looked down at the mask on her face.   
“Zoë can you hear me?” Nathan asked again as he pulled the safety bars down. Zoë began to clench her right fist and then brought her hand up to the mask and gripped it.  
“Zoë, I need you to leave that alone sweet.” Nathan said softly. She pulled it and it fell down around her neck as she let go.   
“Sweetheart” Horatio said as he gently took hold of her wrist and delicately placed her hand on the bed, gripping it in the process. Nathan put the oxygen mask back on and Zoë pulled her legs up, raising her knees. She pushed her head back into the pillow again and began to bite her tongue.   
“Zoë, please stop that honey.” Nathan said as he stroked her cheek, worried that she’d bite hard into her tongue.   
“Zoë can you hear me sweet?” Nathan called loudly and exhaled a steady breath through his nose when she didn’t respond. He picked up his other hand and placed it about 30cm away from her ear and clicked a few times to see if she’d hear it. She didn’t even look round to it.  
“I don’t think she’s processing any sound at the moment.” Nathan said softly as he then brushed her hair back.  
She looked over at him and then turned away to look at Horatio, she studied his red hair and bit her bottom lip in concentration.   
“She’s definitely thinking about something.” Horatio said glancing over at Nathan.   
“I think she’s looking at your hair, I reckon she’s trying to remember you.” Nathan said softly.  
“Always the hair…” Horatio said with a small smile as he tenderly looked back down at Zoë.  
She lowered her eyebrows and began to bite into her lip harder; not feeling the full pain it would be giving her if she hadn’t had pain medication.   
“Sweetheart, don’t bite your lip.” Horatio said as he reached out and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She turned her head and looked at Nathan; she noticed the safety bars had gone and moved her hand, letting her arm dangle over the bedside. She then turned her head and moved her right hand to feel the safety bars by Horatio. She slowly lifted her right hand and felt the texture of the bars. She dropped her hand feeling exhausted and Horatio took a tight hold of it and then Nathan began to stroke her arm with the back of his hand. She looked at the both of their hands and lowered her eyebrows again. She let out a small moan as she felt the both of them touching her arms as she got a little stressed and looked over to the door. Nathan instantly withdrew his hand, realising they were giving her too much stimulus and Horatio did the same. Horatio quickly threaded his fingers in her hair. One side of her mouth started to curve up, as she tried to smile when she relaxed.   
“She’s made more progress.” Nathan said softly as he gently took a hold of her hand as he looked up at Horatio who was still very gently running his hand through her hair as she very peacefully fell asleep again. Horatio and Nathan sat back down.  
“She’s doing extremely well, Horatio. I can’t quite believe it if I’m honest.” Nathan said softly with a smile.  
“I can.” Horatio said softly as he looked over at her with a smile.  
“Shouldn’t you try and get a good night’s sleep?” Horatio asked Nathan.  
“I’d much rather be here.” Nathan said with a smile. Horatio gave him a small smile. He was glad that he had Nathan there to keep a constant eye on her.   
They eventually fell asleep and were woken by the light beaming brightly through the blinds in the morning. Zoë didn’t look like she had woken up during the night. Nathan quickly left to nip home. He returned and got to work. He found that the day was turning out to be quite quiet, he had time to catch up on paperwork, he sat in Zoë’s room while he completed the paperwork, checking over her every now and then until he got a page to check on another patient. He returned and got back to work with the paperwork. Zara gave her a sponge bath at some point during the morning, managing not to wake her.  
Around 3.30pm, Zoe began to wake again. She let out a few low moans. Nathan stood up and stood by the head of the bed. Horatio looked over her as Nathan checked her over. Zoë watched as Nathan pulled out the pen torch. He shone it in her eyes. Zoë lifted her right hand and pushed his hand away as she turned her head and mumbled.  
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan asked clearly and loudly. She just looked at the table on the other side.   
“Okay sweet.” Nathan said softly as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked back around to him and looked at the pen torch in his other hand again. She looked up at his face and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She then looked out of the window. Horatio very delicately placed his hand in hers and she turned her head to look at him. His sleeve brushed against her arm. She looked at his sleeve and moved her hand from his, taking a hold of his sleeve.   
“I think she’s probably trying to make connections, much like a very young child. She’s using tactile and visual stimulus.” Nathan said as Horatio looked up at him while Zoë felt the silk inside.   
“So, you’re saying that she has the mental age of a young child at the moment?” Horatio asked a little confused.   
“That’s the best way I can describe her mental capabilities at the moment, yes.” Nathan said.  
“Her brain is trying to remember the motor skills, as well as filter all the information it’s receiving, making it extremely stressful.” Nathan said as he looked back down at her. Zoë let go of Horatio’s sleeve and pulled her knees up as she began to chew on her tongue again.   
“Sweet, don’t do that.” Nathan said calmly as he gently took a hold of her jaw and rubbed her cheek.   
She stopped chewing her tongue and took a deep breath and exhaled.   
“You’re a little warm.” Nathan said as he gently placed the back of his hand against her forehead.   
He withdrew his hand and picked up the thermometer, he gently placed it in her ear and she pulled her head away.   
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Horatio said as he gently picked her hand up and rubbed her arm. She looked down at his hands and forgot about the thermometer in her ear. Nathan managed to get her temperature.   
“It’s within normal limits; I think she’s probably a little too warm from the blankets again.” Nathan said as he placed the thermometer down. “Good thinking with the distraction.” Nathan said with a smile.   
“I didn’t think it would distract her.” Horatio said softly.   
“I’m just going to take her blanket off.” Nathan said as he pulled it down from her stomach and over her feet in a roll at the end of the bed. She looked down at it, moving her raised legs out of the way of her view. Her gown had ridden up from where she had raised her legs and bunched up at her hips, revealing the plain white shorts under the gown. Nathan placed the back of his hand on her thigh just above her knee. She looked at his hand and tilted her head, not having felt them touch her leg yet.  
“Yeah, she’s slightly warm.” Nathan said softly as he then placed his hand on the top of her foot.   
“But her feet are very cold… it’s probably the circulation.” Nathan said softly.   
“I’m just going to stimulate the circulation to her feet a little more.” Nathan said as he took a gentle hold of one of her legs and delicately laid it down flat, doing the same with her other leg. She looked down and watched him as Horatio softly had his hand in hers. Nathan moved her feet around and rubbed them a little roughly to get the circulation going strongly to her feet, they gradually began to warm up ever so slightly.  
“She has some socks in her hand bag.” Horatio said softly, remembering Ryan brought it over the other day. Horatio said as he let go of her hand and pulled out some socks from her hand bag. Nathan looked at him curiously.   
“She carries everything in there, even a pair of shoes.” Horatio said with a small smile, remembering a conversation they had. He handed him the socks and Nathan gently put them over Zoë’s feet. Once he placed them over her feet she pulled her knees up again.  
“Nathan, she’s lost quite a bit of weight.” Horatio said observing her legs.  
“It’s to be expected, she’s only on the IV feed, which is giving her the necessary nutrients to keep her body sustained.” Nathan said softly. She lifted her right hand from Horatio’s and gripped the bottom of the shorts, feeling the fabric. She relaxed her head back into the pillow as her fingers played with the fabric. She began to slowly fall asleep and her legs began to slowly fall to the side. Nathan very gently placed them flat on the bed and then pulled her gown down again. Horatio sat back down as he received a message. Nathan wrote down her stats as Horatio listened to the message.   
‘How did you like my surprise? Has she recovered, or has she got brain damage? It was a bit of a chance really. You’ve not come out of that hospital, so I assume it’s not good news, works out even better for me. I must say, it was a very entertaining performance you gave me. Hahaha.’ The message said. Nathan saw Horatio’s face drop, as his eyes grew distressed and angry.  
Horatio instantly dialled for Eric.   
“Eric, I need you here immediately, I’ve got another message, and I want two patrol officers on guard at the door, preferably Jessop and Jackson.” Horatio said as he looked over at Zoë, uneasy.  
“Okay H, I’ll be right there.” Eric said as they hung up. Nathan looked up at Horatio, confused.   
“There’s going to be two officers on guard at the door from now on, the man who did this to Zoë, is watching us.” Horatio said glancing over to Nathan. Nathan gave him a nod.   
Horatio sat up straight to look over at Zoë.  
“You can put the safety bars down; it doesn’t look like she’s going to be up anytime soon.” Nathan said, tenderly looking down at her. Horatio gave him a nod and small smile in appreciation and took the safety bars down and gently took a hold of her hand. Nathan was paged to attend another patient and left.   
15 minutes later, Eric turned up. Horatio got up and handed Eric his phone.   
“H, I have your badge and ID, we’ve got all we can from them, and no longer need them. I also have your gun.” Eric said as he handed Horatio the gun, badge and ID.   
“Thank you Eric.” Horatio said as he placed the gun on the table and clipped the badge and ID to his belt.   
“I also have Zoë’s badge and ID, and her erm… her belongings.” Eric said carefully as he handed them to Horatio, not wanting to cause him any more pain. Horatio took a hold of them and fiddled with them as he looked over at Zoë.   
“She’s going to be okay H.” Eric said with a small smile, trying to reassure him. Horatio looked back to him and gave him a small nod and very small smile as he then looked down at the floor.   
“I’ll get this to the lab, here’s a spare phone in case you need to get hold of us, thanks H. Jessop and Jackson are on their way over now.” Eric said with a reassuring smile.   
“Thank you Eric.” Horatio said as he placed one hand on his hip. Eric gave him a nod and left after quickly looking over at Zoë. Horatio sat down and fiddled with her badge, ID and her necklace, studying them. Nathan came back in after about 25 minutes and sat down to do some more paperwork. He looked up at Horatio.   
“Are you okay Horatio?” Nathan questioned.   
“Yeah” Horatio said as he stopped fiddling with her badge and ID and placed them on the table next to his gun. He placed her necklace in his inside pocket as he reached over and picked up her right hand and very delicately placed the ring on her finger.  
“I’ll be right back.” Horatio said as he quickly popped out to tell Jessop and Jackson that no-one is to be allowed in except for Nathan, unless either Nathan or Horatio allowed it or unless there was an emergency.   
Horatio came back in and sat down. Nathan got them both a coffee and sat down to do the paperwork, then went to do his last rounds of the evening. He came back in and sat down, giving himself a little rest before starting paperwork again.   
Zoe began to stir around 9.45pm and lifted her right arm and placed it over her face, with her arm covering her eyes. She turned her head to the side and lifted her left leg.   
“She’s just shifting in her sleep.” Nathan assured Horatio who was looking over at Zoë intensely. Horatio looked back over to him and gave him a small nod. She settled again as her leg began to slowly slide back down again. Nathan went back to doing his paperwork.   
At 10pm Zoë began to stir again, she let out a few moans and took a few deep breaths as she pulled her arm away from her eyes and placed it down beside her, she squinted from the light and blinked a few times.   
Horatio gently took a hold of her hand as he softly said “hello sweetheart.” She looked over at him and focused on his face.   
“Can you hear me Zoë?” Horatio asked when she looked over at him as he spoke. She watched his mouth move slowly. Nathan looked up and put his paperwork to the side.   
“Zoë?” Nathan asked and she looked round to him.   
“Can you hear me Zoë?” Nathan asked as she studied his mouth moving.   
“Zoë, do you understand me?” Nathan asked, now realising that she was hearing, but wasn’t sure whether she was understanding what was being said.   
He gently placed his hand on her arm.   
“You’re a little cold.” Nathan said softly as he let go of her arm and pulled the blanket back over her.   
He got out his pen torch and moved in to shine it in her eyes. Again, she lifted her right hand and pushed his hand away whilst letting out a small moan. She turned her head and looked up at Horatio. Horatio put his hand in hers and gently rubbed her arm. She looked down at his hand, then followed his arm up until her eyes rested on his badge. She studied his badge on his belt.   
“Horatio, I’d like to give the nurse another go, if you’ll allow it?” Nathan questioned. Horatio glanced at him and then looked back down at Zoë who’s eyes were fixated on his badge. Horatio gave him a small nod and Nathan disappeared to get the nurse. Nathan walked in with the nurse following.


	12. Chapter 12

Zoë was still fixated on Horatio’s badge when they walked up to her side.   
“Zoë, can you hear me?” The nurse asked as she placed a hand on Zoë’s shoulder. Zoë’s concentration broke and she looked over at the nurse and studied her. She then followed her arm down and studied her bright pink nails.   
“Okay, thanks Zara.” Nathan said softly. Zara gave Zoë a small smile and left again.   
“She’s still not remembering or recognising people.” Nathan said as he tenderly stroked her arm with his fingers talking to Horatio. Zoë looked down at his hand and focused on his fingers as they moved along her arm.   
She began to breathe a little shallowly. She looked down at her feet and lowered her eyebrows. Horatio saw a little distress in her eyes. He placed his hand on the side of her face and gently brushed her cheek with his thumb as his fingers thread through her hair.   
“Nathan, there’s something wrong.” Horatio said to Nathan as he looked into her eyes, lowering his head to her level. Nathan looked down at her and observed her. She began to cough as she accidently flicked the mask off and sat up leaning forwards, still coughing. Nathan noticed her oxygen sats had dropped.   
“It’s her asthma.” Nathan said as he put his stethoscope in his ears, as her wheezing got loud enough for them to hear.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, as he rubbed her back and gently stroked her arm with his hand.   
Nathan put the stethoscope to her chest and moved it around a little; Zoë lifted her left hand and gripped his wrist trying to push his hand away. Nathan swapped hands and put the stethoscope in his left and then put it against her back. He dropped the hand that Zoë had a hold of as she gripped his thumb. Zoë coughed again. Nathan pulled the stethoscope away and pulled it out of his ears and placed it on the bed. He reached over to the wall and put the salbutamol nozzle on. He gently slipped his hand out of her grip and placed the mask back on her. Zoë looked down at the blanket as she struggled to breathe.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, still rubbing her back and then placed his hand in hers. She gripped his hand loosely as he gently rubbed the back of her fingers with his thumb.  
“She’s not had her preventer for almost two weeks. I completely forgot. How could I forget?” Horatio said absolutely hating himself. ‘How could I be so stupid? She takes it in front of me every single day!’ He shouted at himself in his head.  
“Can you tell me what one she takes? It’s not in her records.” Nathan said.   
“I don’t know the name of it, I know the blue is Ventolin 100mg?” Horatio said, searching his brain for the name.  
“Okay, what colour is it?” Nathan asked.   
“Dark purple” Horatio said recalling the colour.   
“It’ll most likely be Seretide, perhaps 250mg?” Nathan said questioning himself.   
“How dark?” Nathan asked.   
“Very dark” Horatio said, confused.  
“Yeah, 250mg.” Nathan said. “I’ll get her on it asap.” Nathan said.  
“I think she also takes tablets for it, I remember a brief conversation about it.” Horatio said softly, still thinking hard.  
“Something like Sing… singulair?” Horatio questioned, remembering seeing the tablets in the cabinet in the bathroom.  
“Okay, thank you.” Nathan said with a reassuring smile and Horatio gave him a nod.  
“How are you doing?” Nathan said as he placed his hand on her back, feeling her muscles relax more now. “Much better” Nathan said softly. Once Zoë had relaxed a little more she slowly laid back against the bed looking up at the both of them. Nathan picked his stethoscope back up and placed it in his ears while Zoë watched him. He leant in and placed it against her chest. She lifted her right hand and placed it over his, trying to pull his hand away. He placed his left hand on her left arm and gently stroked her arm with his thumb which distracted her.  
“It’s okay sweet.” Nathan said softly as he listened to her breathing. He moved to the other side of her chest and she pulled on his hand again, as her concentration was back on his hand, he could see she was clearly getting stressed. Nathan removed his hand from her arm and held it out by his head and began to click his fingers. It caught Zoë’s attention and she stopped pulling on his hand, letting him listen to her chest. He stopped clicking when he finished listening to her chest. She still had a hold of Nathan’s hand, he withdrew his hand and she slowly let go. Horatio looked at him a little oddly, feeling like he was patronising her.   
“That’s how you get a child’s attention.” Horatio said almost hurt, not wanting Zoë to have that sort of treatment.  
“I had to Horatio; Zoë can only concentrate on one thing. I needed to listen to her chest.” Nathan said as he turned the salbutamol nozzle off.  
“Horatio, I’ve already told you that she has the mental functions of a young child at this point in time. I cannot treat her like an adult any longer.” Nathan said reminding him softly. Horatio didn’t want to hear it, he wanted Zoë to be better and back to her full self again.   
Zoë reached out and placed her hand on Horatio’s badge on his belt. He looked down to see what was going on, and saw her touching his badge. He took it off his belt and handed it to her, hoping that it could help her to remember. She felt his badge and ran her fingers over the surface of it. Horatio sat down, and a small smile appeared across his face as she fiddled with his badge. She relaxed her head back as she fiddled with the badge and then fell asleep with the badge in her grip. Horatio wasn’t long after her. Nathan fell asleep after checking over Zoë a few more times and finishing his work.   
At about 3.30am Nathan was woken by the sound of Zoë coughing again and shifting in the bed. Nathan instantly stood up, he could hear the sound of her chest wheezing from sitting a few meters away.  
“Zoë, try and relax for me darling” Nathan said as he placed his hand over her arm. She looked over at him and sat up as she began to cough more violently. He instantly introduced medication into the oxygen and pulled his stethoscope out again. Horatio had woken from the sound and stood up, he placed his hand on her shoulder and then began to rub her back.  
Nathan placed the end of the stethoscope against her chest and started to listen as she placed her hand over his, pulling at his hand again. Nathan held it there firmly trying to get a good listen but she was moving too much and making it hard to hear. She placed her left hand on his arm and tried to push his arm away as she let out a small distressed moan.  
“Sweetheart, it’s okay” Horatio said as he stopped rubbing her back and ran a hand through her hair. She turned her head and looked up at him. Nathan quickly swapped hands and listened with his free hand, moving the stethoscope around her chest as she continued to hold on to his other hand. Horatio saw her facial expression change and relax as he played with her hair. Her eyes grew heavier as she relaxed. She dropped her hands from Nathan’s hand and arm. She closed her eyes and began to slowly lay back with the help of Horatio and Nathan as she completely relaxed. She was asleep within seconds. Horatio stopped playing with her hair once he was certain that she was asleep and sat back down along with Nathan. Nathan checked her chest and breathing a few minutes later and turned the salbutamol off and took the oxygen mask off once her oxygen sats had improved. Both Nathan and Horatio fell asleep quite quickly after.  
They were both woken when the sunlight shone through the blinds. They looked over at Zoë who had moved a little, she had placed her right arm over her eyes and her left up over the top of her head.   
“Well someone’s comfortable.” Nathan said with a smile as a small smile appeared across Horatio’s face. Horatio remembered that when she slept with him, they’d either wake up with Zoë snuggled up to him or with her arms raised contently above her head.  
Nathan checked her over and then left to nip home. Ryan and Alexx popped over and a smile appeared across their faces as they saw Zoë sleeping peacefully and comfortably. Horatio updated the both of them. Alexx very gently gave Horatio’s arm a stroke as he told them about her condition.   
“She’ll come back to us honey.” Alexx said softly to him. Horatio didn’t look too sure, but gave her a small forced smile and looked back down at Zoë. Alexx had to go, so she quickly left while Ryan looked down at her. Ryan took Nathan’s chair and Nathan walked in 3 minutes later for a quick check up, then left to do his rounds.   
Ryan and Horatio discussed a few things and Ryan told him that they didn’t find anything on the message. Ryan said that he’d pop back later with the phone.   
“H, I’ve got some time to stay if you want to pop home quickly?” Ryan said.   
“Thank you Mr Wolfe, I’ll be back soon.” Horatio got up and left.   
Ryan sat next to Zoë, talking about work and how much they needed her touch back there. He sat back smiling to himself, remembering how it used to be at work when she was there, even through the bad times she managed to bring a smile to their faces just by smiling herself.   
30 minutes passed and Ryan didn’t really stop talking to her.   
Horatio walked back in. “Thank you Mr Wolfe.” He said as he sat back down next to her.   
“Not a problem H, I’ll be back later with your phone.” Ryan said as he stood up and left after Horatio gave him a nod.   
At 10.15am Zoë began to wake again, she pulled her dead arms down to her sides and let them rest there until the feeling came back again.   
“Hey sweetheart” Horatio said as he stood. She opened her mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. She squinted her eyes as she opened them and then blinked a few times.   
“Got anything more for us today?” Horatio asked with a soft smile. He went to stroke her face with the back of his hand as Nathan walked in.   
Horatio turned to glance over at Nathan. “She’s a little warm again.” Horatio said as he looked back down at her.   
“Okay.” Nathan said as he placed his hand on her face too. He then brought his hand away as he picked up the ear thermometer.  
“I’m just going to put this in your ear, Zoë.” Nathan said as he placed it in her ear and she instantly pulled her head away as she pushed his hand away with her left hand. Horatio dropped his hand from her face to her shoulder.   
“Okay sweet, we’ll try the mouth thermometer.” Nathan said as he pulled the thermometer away from her ear.   
He picked up the mouth thermometer and put a new cover on the metal probe.   
“Zoë, can you open your mouth for me?” Nathan asked softly. She just looked up at him. “Okay Zoë.” Nathan said softly as he very gently tried to open her mouth, she just turned her head away from him, he let go of her jaw, not wanting to stress her out.   
“Okay sweet, we’ll leave that for now.” Nathan said softly.   
Nathan placed the back of his hand to her forehead again; he then dropped his hand from her head and in a smooth move pulled the blanket off her. She took a deep breath and blinked a few times before relaxing back into the pillow. She fell asleep again. Zara came in to give her another sponge bath without waking her.  
The day passed uneventfully, Nathan popped in a few times while Horatio sat there, talking to her softly a few times, Ryan nipped back with Horatio’s phone and quickly left. Nathan finally finished his shift and walked in with two cups of coffee.   
“Thank you Nathan.” Horatio said as he handed Horatio the coffee. Nathan gave him a nod as he walked around to the chair and sat himself down, finally relaxing after a busy day.   
25 minutes later, Zoë began to wake again. Nathan finished his coffee and then stood up again and picked up his torch light and shone it in her eyes. Zoë opened her eyes and pushed Nathan’s hand away as she pulled her knees up.   
“I’m sorry sweet. Are you with us?” Nathan asked as he leant back putting the torch away, Zoë let out a small moan.   
“Zoë, can you hear me sweet?” Nathan asked looking at her.  
“Mmm” She moaned as she blinked a few times. She glanced around the room and her eyes settled on Horatio as he stood by her side. He took a hold of her hand and she looked down at their hands.   
Nathan placed his fingers in Zoë’s left hand.   
“Zoë, can you squeeze our hands please?” Nathan asked clearly as he wiggled his fingers against her palm. They could see she was thinking hard. About 30 seconds later she squeezed on both of their hands.   
“Well done.” Nathan said with a smile.  
“Can you speak to us Zoë?” Nathan asked clearly. She just looked down at Horatio’s hand in hers.  
“Okay, don’t worry sweet.” Nathan said softly as he wrote a few things down in her notes. Horatio gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she looked over at his hand and looked up at him.   
“Hello sweetheart.” Horatio said with a smile. She studied him a little and then looked down at her legs.  
“She’s still not recognising us.” Horatio said quietly.   
“No, but her mental function is improving.” Nathan said as he put her notes down.   
“Zoë?” Nathan asked clearly.   
Zoë looked over to him. “Zoë, follow my finger with your eyes, don’t move your head.” Nathan said as he put his finger up about a meter away from her face and moved his hand from side to side. She followed his finger.  
“Well done Zoë, close your eyes for me?” Nathan asked, she thought about it for a moment and then closed her eyes after Nathan demonstrated.  
“Well done, can you look at my ear for me.” Nathan said as he shone the light in her eyes, her pupils were equal.   
“Can you smile for me?” Nathan asked as he gave her a wide, overreacted smile to show her. She looked at him and lowered her eyebrows studying his face.   
“Smile” Nathan said giving her the same wide smile. She thought about it, they could see that she was thinking hard. Horatio stood back, letting Nathan get on with it all, but over the moon that she could at least hear and respond back to them now.   
Her mouth twitched a little as she tried to smile, but got distracted by the TV. She looked up and round over towards the sound but couldn’t make out where the sound was coming from. She began to get a little stressed so Nathan quickly turned the TV off.   
“It’s okay Zoë.” Nathan said as he stepped in and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.  
“It’s alright.” Nathan said, relaxing her again as he gently stroked her arm.   
“Zoë can you smile for me?” Nathan asked again as he gave another cheesy smile. Zoë thought about it again and gave him a small smile.  
“Well done sweet!” Nathan said enthusiastically. “Can you poke your tongue out for me?” Nathan asked and she just stared at him.   
“Poke your tongue out for me.” Nathan said as he stuck his out at her, she copied and he gave her a smile.  
“Squeeze my fingers.” Nathan said as he placed his fingers in her hands and wiggled them. She tightened her grip on his fingers. He lifted her arms out straight.   
“Hold them straight.” Nathan said as he gently let go, Zoë let them drop. She just looked at him confused.  
“Hold them straight for me sweet.” Nathan said softly as he picked her hands up again but they just dropped back to the bed. Nathan exhaled softly. He then held his arms out and looked over at her and she looked at him, studying his arms. She began to get even more stressed and Horatio could see it. She then held hers out like he did.  
“Well done, we’re nearly finished.” Nathan said softly as he picked up the reflex hammer and tested her reflexes in her arms and legs.   
“Well done, now I want you to touch my finger and then touch your nose, can you do that?” Nathan asked as he put his finger out in the air, skipping over the rest of the motor skill tests. She thought about it hard and got a lot more stressed, she began to chew on her tongue again.  
“I’m sorry sweet, I know it’s difficult.” Nathan said softly as he began to stroke her cheek with the back of his hand.  
“Only a little bit longer honey.” Nathan said softly.  
“High-five Zoë?” Nathan said getting her attention again as she looked over to the door. She held her hand up as she looked at him, copying him.   
“High-five?” Nathan asked as he slowly brought his hand in towards hers, she copied him.  
“Well done.” Nathan said softly. He took a rubber band out of his coat pocket and placed it on her wrist. Horatio watched intensely, not seeing this done before.   
“Zoë, can you take that off your wrist?” Nathan asked as Zoë looked down at the band around her right wrist. She looked down at it and thought. She again looked up at the door, listening to what was going on outside.   
“Zoë, try and concentrate for me, try and take the band off your wrist.” Zoë looked at him then looked down at the band on her wrist as he pointed at it. She again thought to herself. She took a hold of the band with her left hand and just pulled it. She got a little frustrated and tried pulling harder.   
“Okay, okay sweet.” Nathan said as he placed his hand over her left and pulled the band up and off her wrist.   
“Well done Zoë, you’ve done very well.” Nathan said softly with a smile at her. Nathan pulled the blanket back up over her and gently rubbed her arm. She looked down at the blanket and they both witnessed a tear roll down her cheek.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he wiped the tear from her cheek. She looked up at him, looking slightly confused. He ran his hand through her hair and she quickly relaxed, she looked up at him and into his blue eyes, entranced by them. Horatio placed his other hand in hers as he backed off and sat down, seeing her completely relaxed. She looked down at their hands and pulled her hand out of Horatio’s and he looked up at her as she focused on their hands. She placed her hand over his and began to run her fingertips over the back of his hand as a smile appeared across Horatio’s face, feeling her touch again. Nathan glanced up from his notes and saw the smile across Horatio’s face as she played with his hand. She turned his hand over and ran her fingertips over his palm. She pulled his hand up and over towards her as Horatio stood up and let her pull his hand closer to her. She brought her left hand up and took hold of his hand while she let go with her right and felt the fabric of his suit sleeve. She dropped his hand to her stomach and reached over for his other hand and pulled it closer. She delicately played with his fingers as Horatio looked down at her very affectionately.   
‘This is certainly worth the wait for her to wake up.’ He thought to himself as he smiled at her. She tenderly fiddled with his hand then caught a glimpse of his watch. She pulled his sleeve up and ran her fingertips over the metal watch. She took a deep breath and continued to play with his hand and watch. Horatio took a light grip of her hand as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. She dropped her hands with Horatio’s hand to her stomach and took another deep breath as she began to get fatigued. She kept hold of Horatio’s hand as she began to fall asleep. Horatio quickly pulled the chair closer and sat down. She opened her eyes and looked over to him and then relaxed again, closing her eyes as Horatio smiled, ecstatic that she was holding his hand.   
“She’s made a lot of progress.” Nathan said seriously, not quite believing it himself once he knew Zoë was asleep.   
“She doesn’t seem to be able to quite understand the tasks I’ve asked her to do, although she can copy, it’s a small step in the right direction. She certainly can’t process complex tasks, like taking the band off her wrist, but we’re getting there.” Nathan said with a small smile. Horatio gave him a smile and looked back over at a sleeping Zoë. He felt exhausted himself and quickly fell asleep in the chair with her hands in his.  
Nathan was gone almost instantly too.   
About 4 in the morning Horatio woke when Zoë kicked the blanket off the bed. She was breathing heavily and her heart rate was elevated. He moved his chair higher up the bed and ran a hand through her hair; she quickly calmed and fell into a deep sleep again. Horatio got up and picked the blanket up and covered her again and sat back in the chair and watched her sleep peacefully for a while, thinking to himself about her and about them; about what this meant for them, whether she was going to recover, whether she was going to be the same. He sat forwards, took hold of her hand and remembered the time they had together. He lost himself in his thoughts and accidently gripped her hand too hard, causing her to stir from sleep. She rolled onto her right side, still asleep and pulled Horatio’s hand up and closer to her. He felt the rising and falling of her chest against his hand as he leant on the bed and rested his head on his other arm.  
He fell asleep with a small smile on his face, remembering her wonderful smile and happy to be so close with her. Both Nathan and Horatio were woken by the light beaming through the blinds. Nathan looked over at Horatio and Zoë, seeing Zoë holding his arm.  
Zoë stirred and let go of Horatio’s hand, rolled on to her back and lifted her right arm to cover her eyes and shifted in the bed. The day passed and she didn’t wake, Ryan, Eric and Alexx visited throughout the day and were updated, Zara came in around 2.30 to give her a sponge bath and to replace her bandages as well as Horatio’s. She slept through the night and then the next day again, even though Zara gave her a sponge bath.   
Ryan came over that evening to check up on her and give Horatio time to pop back home. At 8.55pm she began to stir, Nathan stepped up towards her and shone the light in her eyes and she then pushed him away and moaned before covering her eyes with her arm, she kicked the blanket off again and brought her legs up. Nathan placed the back of his hand against her leg to feel her skin temperature.   
“Okay sweet.” Nathan said as he left her alone and sat back down.  
“Is she awake?” Ryan asked confused.   
“She’s partially awake; you know when you just wake up in the morning but want to go back to sleep but have to get up? Well, she’s going back to sleep.” Nathan said with a small smile.   
“But she’s been asleep for a couple of days now.” Ryan asked concerned.   
“That’s a good thing; it could mean that her brain is taking the time to repair and rest.” Nathan said with a small smile, reassuring him. Zoë’s feet began to slowly slide back down the sheet as she fell back asleep again. Ryan left soon after Horatio got back and Zoë slept through the night. Horatio sat by Zoë and rubbed the back of her fingers as he fell asleep. Nathan fell asleep, he woke at 3 in the morning and covered Zoë back up with the blanket as she felt a little cold. He saw that she was restless and she kicked the blanket off almost immediately. He folded it and placed it at the end of the bed and sat back after he pulled his chair in closer and began to very gently stroke her arm in hope of it calming her. Nathan quickly fell back to sleep.   
The next morning, Nathan quickly rushed home as they both woke up after covering Zoë with the blanket again. He came back and did his rounds. At around 11.25 Zoë began to stir again, she seemed a little agitated so Horatio got up and gently rubbed her arm with the back of his hand. She kicked the blanket off again and turned her head as she took a deep breath and fell back into a deep sleep. Horatio very tenderly kissed her forehead and sat back down, talking to her softly. Zara gave her a sponge bath in the afternoon. The evening quickly came back around and Nathan sat down, relaxing.  
“Nathan, perhaps you should get a decent night’s sleep?” Horatio asked seeing how exhausted he was.   
“And I’d say the same to you.” Nathan said softly looking at Horatio’s exhausted face with a smile.   
“I’ll get us a coffee.” Nathan said as he got up again and quickly left, returning 5 minutes later with a two coffees.  
They both fell asleep soon after that, Horatio fell asleep leaning on Zoë’s bed with her hand in both of his. At around 2 in the morning, Zoë sat up and crossed her legs with her hands either side. The movement disturbed Horatio and he sleepily looked up at saw Zoë sitting up with her head drooped forwards.  
“Zoë, sweetheart?” Horatio questioned as he stood up and placed a hand on her back.   
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio questioned as he bent down and looked up at her face as he pulled her hair out of the way, she seemed to be sleeping.   
“Nathan.” Horatio called loud enough to wake him up.   
“She’s not responding to me.” Horatio said as Nathan stood up and bent over to get a look at her face then looked up at the monitor.   
“It’s okay, she’s asleep, she probably sat up in her sleep, almost like sleepwalking.” Nathan said as he placed his hand on the back of her neck and his other on her shoulder and very gently pushed back, Horatio did the same but with his left hand on her back instead of her neck. They laid her down while she still remained asleep. Nathan lifted the blanket and straightened her legs out from being crossed and gently placed the blanket back over her. They both fell asleep soon after.   
The next day came around and she slept for the entire day again, not even stirring when Zara gave her another sponge bath. They both fell asleep relatively early.   
They were woken by the light in the morning and sat up, Nathan got them both a coffee and sat back down as they both talked. Ryan popped over at about 7.20 to check up on Zoë. Zoë began to wake around 7.30 that morning. She rubbed her face with her right hand.   
“Hey, you with us?” Nathan asked softly, leaning over her as she blinked while she looked up at the ceiling. He placed his hand on her arm.  
“Mmm” Zoë moaned as she picked up her left hand to rub her face again, but when she couldn’t move her wrist she looked down at it. She pulled at the aircast.   
“Zoë, leave that alone for me sweet, it needs to stay on.” Nathan said softly.   
“Can you hear me?” Nathan asked as she looked up at him tiredly.  
“Yeah?” She slurred, trying to form the word correctly. They all smiled, knowing that it was the first answer that she had given, it took almost all of her concentration just to say that one word.  
“Well done.” Nathan said softly.   
He checked her neuro and motor skills again, she did just as she did the other night.   
“Zoë, I want you to take this band off your wrist.” Nathan said as he placed the band over her hand again. She looked down at her wrist and studied the band. They could see that she was trying to think. She began to chew her tongue again.   
“Zoë, don’t chew your tongue sweet.” Nathan said as he gently rubbed her cheek. She looked back up at him.   
“Take the band off for me Zoë.” He said with a smile as he pointed to the band again to get her attention on that. Ryan watched her as he’d never seen this done before. Zoë studied the band and again took a hold of it with her left hand and began to pull on it.   
“Okay sweet. Well done.” Nathan said as he gently placed his hand over hers and she let go of the band as Nathan gently pulled it off her wrist.   
“Why can’t she take it off?” Ryan asked curiously, not understanding why this once incredibly intelligent woman couldn’t simply pull a band off her wrist.   
“Well done sweetheart.” Horatio said with a smile as he rubbed her arm, she focused on his hands as they travelled up and down tenderly on her forearm.   
“It’s because she’s lacking the ability to solve problems or follow simple instructions, to us simply pulling a band off our wrists is a task that we don’t need to think about. But Zoë’s lost the ability to think that complex and solve the problem.” Nathan explained quietly. “She has the basic motor skills but can’t perform the complex tasks or think about it in too much depth.” Nathan added.   
“Will she regain the ability to solve problems and think?” Ryan asked crossing his arms.   
“I can’t say, I really don’t know. She seems to have the same mental capabilities as she did a few days ago, which suggests that she’s at the peak of her mental capabilities.” Nathan said quietly.   
Zoë stopped watching Horatio’s hand and studied Ryan’s posture. She looked at him thinking.  
She tilted her head at him and studied his crossed arms.   
Ryan glanced over and took a double take when he saw Zoë studying him. Nathan turned around and also saw her studying Ryan’s arms.   
“I think it’s your crossed arms.” Nathan said with a small smile. “What about them?” Ryan asked quietly. “They’re crossed.” Nathan said with a smile as Zoë looked down at her arms and crossed them. Nathan walked over to her and chuckled slightly.  
“Well done Zoë, that’s quite complex.” Nathan said with a wide grin as Zoë looked up at him and studied his smile.  
She then looked outside as she rested her head back and her eyes seemed to glaze over as her arms fell to the sides.   
“Zoë, are you with us?” Nathan called.   
“Zoë?” He called again. She took a deep breath. Nathan put his left hand about 30cms from her ear and began to click while he called her name. She blinked and turned her head towards the clicking sound after 10 seconds.   
“Are you with us now?” Nathan asked softly as he rubbed her arm.   
“Mmm” Zoë moaned lowly while her eyes began to close. She rested her arms across her stomach as she fell asleep.   
Ryan left soon after and Horatio and Nathan sat back down and rested themselves.   
Roughly around 3.05pm that afternoon Zoë let out a moan and kicked the blanket off as she pulled her knees up and rubbed her face again. She took a deep breath and blinked a few times to clear the fuzziness.  
“Are you with us Zoë?” Nathan asked leaning over her, placing his hand over hers.   
“Yeah” she slurred as she turned her head to look over to him.   
“Can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked clearly. She looked at him and really thought hard.   
“No.” She simply said.   
“Okay sweet, you’re in hospital. Can you tell me your name?” Nathan asked. She looked at him and focused on his eyes. He could see the amount of thought she was giving the question.   
“No.” She said quietly, she lowered her eyebrows.   
“Okay, okay don’t worry about it.” Nathan said as he saw the distress in her eyes and placed his hand on the side of her face.   
“Can you tell me who I am?” Nathan asked softly, not wanting to push her too much. She searched his face; to her he just seemed blank.   
“No.” She said as she then clenched her jaw as she began to get stressed again.   
“Okay not to worry sweet. Just take a long deep breath for me.” He said as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. Her jaw relaxed as she took a breath.   
“Take another for me, you’re doing really well.” Nathan assured her.   
“Well done.” Nathan said as she took another breath, she looked back at him.  
“Zoë, can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked again. She thought about it looked up at him with confusion in her eyes.   
“No.” She said again as she took another breath.   
“Okay, you’ve done really well.” Nathan said reassuring her.   
“I’m going to ask you to do one more thing, okay?” Nathan said as he pulled the band out of his pocket again. He placed it over her wrist.   
“Zoë, I want you to take the band off your wrist.” Nathan said softly. She looked up at him confused.   
“Just try and take it off your wrist sweet.” Nathan said with a caring smile. She looked down at her wrist and thought again, she took the band in her left hand and pulled on it again, still thinking.   
“Okay Zoë, well done.” Nathan said as he reached in for the band and pulled it off.  
“Can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked again. She looked around and thought. She shook her head as she began to get stressed again. She looked up at Horatio.   
“It’s okay sweetheart, you’re doing really well” Horatio said, very proud of her.   
“Okay Zoë, can you tell me what 2 + 4 is?” Nathan asked, trying to push a little further.   
She took a deep breath and looked back down at her feet. She closed her eyes in concentration and then pushed her head back into the pillow as she rubbed her eyes with her right hand. She shook her head as she took a deep breath.  
Nathan gently took hold of her hand and she looked down at his hand as he looked at her affectionately.  
She put her head back and looked over at Horatio; she studied him as he stood there, with a smile, happy that she was awake and answering them.   
“Zoë, can you tell me who he is?” Nathan asked, hoping that perhaps something could come to her. She studied the way he stood, her eyes met with his and she focused, and looked at him thinking. She then studied his red hair and her eyes dropped back to meet his bright blue gaze.   
She shook her head as she pushed her head back into the pillow, agitated as she pushed Nathan away.  
“It’s okay sweetheart, you’ve done really well.” Horatio said softly as he rubbed her arm gently, he could see that she was still very stressed and agitated and moved his hand up to her hair and began to play with her hair when she pulled her arm away from his touch, she soon fell asleep after relaxing.   
“Will her memory come back?” Horatio asked.   
“I don’t know, she doesn’t seem to have any short-term memory at the moment, I tested that by asking her where she was. As far as her long-term memory, I really couldn’t tell you.” Nathan said softly.   
“I’m going to get Zara to give her another sponge bath, but I’m going to stand in on this one in case she wakes, she seems a little more alert.” Nathan said softly, looking for Horatio’s acceptance. He gave him a nod and Nathan went and got Zara. Horatio waited outside of the curtain and listened to the both of them as they casually chatted while he looked outside.  
“Is she waking?” Zara questioned.  
“Yes, just stay calm and don’t say anything for the moment.” Nathan said softly as he placed his hand on her cheek. She moaned a little as she turned her head.  
“Zoë sweet, are you with us?” Nathan asked softly and she let out a moan. Horatio could hear it all and wanted to be there for her.  
“Stay calm sweet and try to go back to sleep.” Nathan said softly as he ran his hand through her hair, knowing it relaxed her as he’d watched Horatio do it plenty of times. She swallowed and opened her eyes and looked up at him tiredly. She turned her head and looked over at Zara and laid her eyes on her, she just took a deep breath and then closed her eyes, falling back to sleep. Nathan let out a sigh of relief.   
“She’s not recognising Zara, Horatio.” Nathan called softly, not disturbing her as Zara carried on. She changed her bandages and then washed Zoë’s hair with dry shampoo and conditioner. She stirred again but didn’t fully wake. They put a new pair of shorts on her and a new gown. Zara walked out with the old gown and shorts as Nathan pulled the curtain and turned back around to give Horatio a smile.   
Horatio gave him a nod as he walked back over at Zoë who was now sleeping peacefully. Zoë slept for another two hours, where she began to wake again. She took a deep breath and rubbed her face and then stretched.   
“Are you with us?” Nathan asked softly.   
“Yeah” Zoë said rubbing her face again and pulled her knees up she looked over to Horatio and saw his gun in the holster. She focused on it, lowering her eyebrows. Horatio covered it with his jacket and her eyes travelled over to his badge.   
“Zoë can you tell me what colour my shirt is?” Nathan asked as he placed his hand over hers. She turned and looked at him.   
Zoë looked down at his shirt as he pointed to it and she began to think. She looked over to the door as she heard the clang of metal coming from outside.   
“Zoë, what colour is my shirt?” Nathan asked again to get her attention back on him. She looked back round to him and looked at his shirt again. She thought for about 30 seconds.  
“Wh–” She began to say but stopped and began to chew on her lip.  
“You’re doing really well, what colour is it?” Nathan said softly. She stopped biting her lip and tilted her head, they could see her thinking it through in her head.  
“Wh-white?” Zoë questioned herself.   
“That’s correct, well done Zoë.” Nathan said with a very wide grin.   
“What colour is this?” Nathan said as he touched her aircast, she looked down at it and took a deep breath. Horatio looked down at her tenderly.   
“Blue?” She questioned looking up at Nathan who’s smile widened.  
“Absolutely correct! Well done sweet.” Nathan said, feeling slightly overwhelmed that she’d managed to answer him and was correct. He wrote a few things down in her notes.  
“Well done sweetheart, we’re so proud of you.” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand in hers. She looked over to him and then dropped her eyes to his badge again. She let out a long breath and put her head back as her face flushed red.   
“Are you hot sweetheart?” Horatio questioned and she looked over at him and lowered her eyebrows, not completely understanding. Nathan looked up at her, seeing her flushed face. Horatio placed the back of his hand against her cheek.  
“She’s a little warm” Horatio said looking to Nathan and he nodded at Horatio. She continued to look up at Horatio and then his eyes met with hers again.   
“Blue” she said looking into his eyes. Horatio smiled at her, knowing she was talking about his eyes. She then quickly looked down at Nathan as he pulled her blanket off and folded it at the end of the bed. She pulled her hand out of Horatio’s and again felt the fabric of the shorts and the gown. Nathan placed the back of his hand against her leg above the knee to feel the temperature and she stopped playing with the fabric and looked at Nathan’s hand. He quickly removed it and placed it in his pocket. She lifted her left hand and placed it on her leg, doing the same with her other leg.   
“Hot?” She questioned looking up at Nathan and he gave her a nod as he sat down. Horatio placed his hand against her leg and she instantly looked over to his hand, laying her soft eyes on it. He withdrew his hand and she watched him put his hand on his hip. She moved her right from her leg and placed it on her hip, copying him which made him smile. She quickly withdrew her hand and clenched her jaw looking down at where she had placed her hand. Horatio looked up at Nathan, worried.   
“It’s probably just bruising, which is why she’s on painkillers.” Nathan said softly as he placed his hand on her arm. She looked up at him and then back to her hip. She tried to move the gown to look at it but couldn’t work out that she had to pull it up. Nathan gently pulled the gown up, seeing her wanting to look at it and looking up at Horatio. She ran her fingers over the bruising and pulled the gown up more. Horatio looked down at her and saw the bruising; they were fading but still covered a lot of her side. He took a deep breath, seeing the bruises and she looked up at him as she heard him exhale. She looked back down at them and continued to run her fingers over her side. She pulled it up higher when Nathan placed his hand over hers, stopping her from pulling it up more. She looked at him confused.   
“Don’t pull it any higher sweet.” Nathan said softly as she looked back down and pushed his hand away. She went to pull it up again when he planted his hand firmly on her chest so she couldn’t get the gown up any further. They could only see the bottom half of her ribs.  
Horatio was devastated to see just how much her body was suffering, not only from the injuries but the dramatic weight loss was astounding.   
“Nathan she’s looking severely underweight.” Horatio said, seeing how thin she was when she was usually a very healthy size and toned. They could clearly see her ribs, Horatio knew he’d lost weight from not eating properly, but his weight loss was no-where near the level of hers.   
“It’s normal.” Nathan said as he pulled her gown back down and looked up at Horatio questionably, wondering how he knew what her normal weight was and what she usually looked like under her clothes. Horatio raised his eyebrows at him, seeing the look Nathan was giving him. Nathan quickly looked back down at her, breaking the stare. Zoë looked up at Nathan, as she let go of the gown.  
Zoë had begun to look at the aircast, feeling it. She pulled at it a little then lifted her arm and tried to bite the cast, completely confused.  
“Sweet leave that alone.” Nathan said softly and placed her left arm down. They saw her get agitated and her breathing got heavier as she began to chew her tongue again.   
“Sweetheart it’s okay.” Horatio said smoothly as he began to play with her hair. Nathan sat down and watched as Zoë relax as Horatio soothed her. He watched her breathing slow and steady out as she closed her eyes. He got up and laid her legs flat as they started to fall to the side. She dropped off to sleep completely relaxed and Horatio sat down once he was happy she was asleep. He smiled sweetly at her as Nathan began some paperwork after covering her back up.  
‘Is she going to come back to us? She can’t be like this forever, can she? I need my Zoe.’ Horatio sat back, thinking to himself again when Ryan walked in and gave them both a smile.   
“H go and get something to eat, I know you’ve not eaten.” Ryan said softly and Horatio nodded at him, he looked back over at Zoë and then got up. Nathan gave him a nod and Horatio popped out.   
Ryan sat in Horatio’s seat and leant back while Nathan informed him of her progress. A wide smile appeared across his face as he looked over at her and placed his hand in hers. Ryan looked down at her legs and saw that she had lost weight and sighed quietly. Horatio quickly returned and Ryan left.   
The night passed and before they knew it, it was morning again. Nathan checked her over before heading off to change and shower.   
“Morning sweetheart” Horatio said as he sat forwards and gently stroked her arm while she slept and quickly kissed her forehead. He then got up and freshened up. As he walked out Zoë looked over to him.   
“Morning sweetheart” Horatio said softly as he walked round and sat on the side of her bed. She looked up at his face and then to his jacket as it fell open. Her eyes fell to his gun in his holster and she tilted her head. She lifted her hand and placed it over the gun. Horatio quickly placed his hand over hers.  
“No beautiful” Horatio softly said as she looked up at him confused. He very gently pulled her hand from the gun and held it. He watched her study the gun still, he wasn’t sure if she was working out what it was or if she recognised it and wanted it. She pulled her hand out of his and then felt the texture of the side of the gun. Horatio made sure she didn’t pull it out. She tilted her head as she looked at it and then let go as she felt the silk inside his jacket rub against her hand.   
“Soft” she said quietly as she felt it and a smile appeared across Horatio’s face. She put her head back and relaxed as she felt the silk. Horatio noticed she looked flushed again and gently pulled the blanket off her. She instantly lifted her knees up and looked down at his leg then back to hers. She touched her leg with her fingertips and then placed her hand on Horatio’s, feeling the fabric of his trousers, she innocently ran her hand up his thigh. He melted as he felt her touch him.   
She looked at them curiously and then back to her leg as she touched that again.   
“You’re not wearing trousers sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, seeing her compare the feelings. She looked at him and held his gaze before looking down at his mouth as he gave her a small smile. She looked down to her hand and began to chew again. Horatio just lifted his hand and gently ran it through her hair and she looked over at him, holding his gaze as he smiled at her. She placed her hands over her stomach as she began to fall asleep and her legs leant against Horatio’s back. He saw her dropping off but trying to keep her eyes open. He felt her legs slipping down as she closed her eyes for good and completely relaxed. ‘You’ve got to keep fighting sweetheart, you’ve made so much progress, but you need to keep up that fighting spirit.’ Horatio said to himself.   
He got off the bed and smiled at her as she slept. Nathan walked back in after about 30 minutes with a cup of coffee for the both of them.  
“Has she woken up?” Nathan questioned, noticing she had moved and the blanket was off.   
“Yes” Horatio nodded.  
“Thanks for the coffee.” Horatio said softly as he took it in both hands. Nathan gave him a nod and then placed his hand on her leg and then pulled her gown down. She shifted in her sleep as Nathan touched her and he quickly withdrew his hand as she turned her head and let out a small moan before settling again.   
Nathan was in and out for the majority of the day. He came back in with a snack for Horatio and himself and sat down doing some paper work and then went to do the evening rounds. Horatio had put the blanket back over her while he was out.   
He came back in and sat down, 5 minutes after Ryan came over. She stirred as he walked through the door.   
“Hey, how’s she doing?” Ryan asked as he walked up to the end of her bed and looked down at her.   
“She’s doing well.” Nathan said with a smile as he looked up at Ryan. She let out a moan as she kicked the blanket off and then took a deep breath. Ryan felt bad for waking her. She pulled her knees up as she went to rub her eyes and took another deep breath.   
“Hey, are you with us?” Nathan asked as he stood and placed his hand on her shoulder. She let out a small moan and exhaled. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She looked over at Nathan who was delicately rubbing her shoulder. She swallowed as she looked at his tie.   
“Hey” Ryan said delicately and she looked over to him and studied him. She looked back over at Horatio as he stood up and then over at Ryan. She looked down at her legs. Ryan walked round and stood by Horatio and she looked up at him. She looked calm and relaxed and not really bothered about anything, it was the most comfortable he’d seen her in the hospital. Her eyes dropped to his badge and she studied it. She lowered her eyebrows and looked over to Horatio’s then back to Ryan’s.  
“Zoë sweet can you squeeze my hands?” Nathan asked as he placed his fingers in her hands and she squeezed on them. She looked down at his hands, then up to him.  
“Well done.” Nathan said with a smile then took her hands and lifted her arms.   
“Hold them up for me Zoë.” Nathan asked as he let go, she held them up and continued to look at Nathan as a wide smile appeared across his face.   
“Well done sweet, much better than last time!” Nathan said as he took her hands in his and Horatio smiled down at her. Ryan watched intensely, watching her reactions.   
“Can you pull on my hands?” Nathan asked. She looked at him and looked slightly confused.   
“Pull on my hands Zoë.” Nathan asked and she lowered her eyebrows and pulled her hands back as another smile appeared across Nathan’s face.  
“Push my hands sweet.” Nathan said as he looked into her eyes. She bit her lip lightly and began to push but quickly recoiled with a slight moan.  
“Okay sweet, well done.” Nathan said softly with a smile.   
“Is she hurt?” Ryan asked.  
“I think it’s her wrist.” Nathan said as he placed her hands down on the side.   
“Can you lie your legs down for me honey?” Nathan asked softly looking at her as he walked down the side of the bed. She bit her lip a little harder, trying to really think about what he was asking her.   
“Lie your legs down Zoë.” Nathan repeated, knowing she needed the commands again. She continued to think about the question and then let her legs slip to the bed.   
“Well done sweet.” Nathan said as he took a hold of one of her feet and ran his finger up the sole of her foot and looked at her for the reaction. She screwed up her face a little and pulled her foot away.   
“Sorry sweet.” Nathan said as he did the same to the next, getting the same reaction. She began to chew her tongue again and Horatio very softly stroked her cheek. Ryan watched her stop chewing as Horatio stroked her cheek. She turned her head to his hand and then looked back down at Nathan as he lifted one of her feet and she was fixed on what he was doing. Horatio withdrew his hand.  
“Zoë, hold your leg up for me please.” Nathan asked softly and let her absorb the information before he let go. She held it up for as long as she could and then dropped it to the bed. Doing the same with her other leg while both Nathan and Horatio had a wide smile plastered across their face. Ryan was also happy, but not quite as much as he didn’t understand just how much progress she’d actually made. He asked her to push against his hands with her legs when Ryan dropped his hand and placed his hand in hers. She looked over at his hand and lost all focus on Nathan.   
“Ryan, could you please refrain from touching her while I do this please?” Nathan asked softly.   
“Sorry.” Ryan said as he withdrew his hand.   
“Not to worry, she just can’t focus on too many things at the moment.” Nathan said with a small smile. Zoë watched him put his hand in his pocket.  
“Zoë, over here” Nathan called and she looked over to him with a sweet expression.  
“Well done, push against my hands sweet.” Nathan asked softly. He let her think about it and nodded with a smile as she pushed and then did the same with the other foot.   
“Pull on my hands?” He asked and she pulled lightly with both feet. Nathan laid her legs flat and then walked back up to the head of the bed.   
“Well done Zoë, you’ve done so well. You’ve made such an improvement on yesterday.” Nathan said as he placed his hand on the side of her head with a very happy smile. Horatio couldn’t stop smiling, although to any normal person it may not look like an improvement, they could see it was a big step for her. Ryan smiled, knowing that it was an improvement. Horatio gently brushed her arm.   
“So that’s better than what she did yesterday?” Ryan asked as he placed her hand in his.   
“Yes, a big improvement, yesterday she was only able to copy, today she can follow basic commands.” Nathan said with a smile looking at Ryan. Horatio could see her getting agitated.  
“So is she going to completely recover?” Ryan asked, looking at Nathan.  
“I can’t say Ryan, it’s one step at a time with her, this could be as far as she goes or she could continue to improve until she reaches the limits. We need to take every day as it comes.” Nathan said, warning him that not all may be as good as he had hoped.  
“So there’s the potential that she won’t be the person she once was?” Ryan asked as Horatio saw her get a lot more stressed.   
“Yes, a high probability in fact.” Nathan said softly.   
“Nathan, Mr Wolfe I think she needs some space.” Horatio said looking up at them, withdrawing his hand from her arm. Nathan looked down at her, after getting lost in the conversation with Ryan.  
“I’m sorry sweet.” Nathan said as he began to run his hand through her hair. She pulled away from Nathan and pushed his hand away.   
“Zoë, try and calm down for me darling. Take a deep breath.” Nathan said softly as he backed off.   
“Mr Wolfe, it’s probably best if you let go of her hand for the time being.” Horatio said softly. Ryan quickly withdrew his hand, looking up at the both of them, silently asking why.  
“That was too much for her to process.” Nathan said softly and quietly. Zoë raised her hands and threaded her fingers in her hair as she sat up and shook her head, growing more and more agitated.   
“What was too much? She wasn’t doing anything?” Ryan asked, still not realising that their conversation was stressing her out even more. Nathan sighed.  
“All 3 of us had made contact with her, giving her touch sensations, which alone would have been stressful for her. We were also talking, stimulating her hearing and she was trying to process what we were saying, adding more stress and more for her to try and focus on.” Nathan explained gently as he quickly glanced down at Zoë, seeing her very agitated.   
“She can only really focus on one thing at the moment so giving her lots of stimulation can be too much for her.” Nathan said and then Ryan gave him a small nod, understanding.   
He immediately realised that he’d made her worse. “Zoë sweet, I need you to take a deep breath for me.” Nathan said softly. “I’m sorry darling.” He said softly as he tried to place his hand on her arm but she pulled away from him before he could touch her. Nathan looked up at Horatio for his help and Horatio very slowly moved his hand over to her arm. They heard her quietly sobbing and both Nathan and Ryan felt extremely guilty for causing it.   
“It’s okay sweetheart, you’re okay. I need you to take a deep breath.” Horatio said very warmly as he placed his left on her back as he made contact with her arm with his right.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio repeated warmly as she allowed him to gently rub her back.   
“You’re okay.” Horatio said very warmly again as he sat on the edge of the bed and continued to rub her back. Nathan looked down and exhaled, thinking ‘I should have known better’. Horatio brought his hand up and began to play with her hair. She dropped one of her hands from her face and continued to breathe heavily. Horatio dropped his hand with hers and very gently placed his hand over her arm. She dropped her other hand and took hold of his sleeve.  
“That’s it sweetheart.” Horatio said quietly and tenderly. They saw her breathing slow to a normal rate and relax. She took a deep breath and glanced up at Horatio, he gave her a very caring look and she then looked down at his undone top button. She exhaled and he saw her become increasingly fatigued.   
“Can you lie down for me please sweetheart?” Horatio questioned and he got up when she laid back down.   
“Well done, thank you.” Horatio said softly as he began to run his hand through her hair they all looked down at her and saw her relaxing. Horatio continued to play with her hair until she was asleep. Horatio glanced up at Nathan, giving him a displeased look.   
“I’m sorry, I should have realised sooner.” Nathan apologised, knowing Horatio wasn’t happy with him. Horatio exhaled and looked back down at her as he withdrew his hand.  
Ryan promptly left, feeling a little low that there was the possibility that she wouldn’t be the person he knew and not really appreciating the full scale of the progress she had made because he still didn’t fully understand what she was going through, also because he’d upset her.  
Nathan pulled the blanket back up over her and sat down to do some paperwork while Horatio fell asleep leaning on her bed, with her hand in his.   
Morning came around and they were woken by the sun coming through the blinds. Nathan checked her vitals and went home quickly. Horatio sat on her bed as she looked up at him.  
“Morning beautiful” he said softly as he placed his hand on her arm. He felt her warm again and pulled the blanket off after she lifted her knees again.   
“How are you feeling sweetheart?” Horatio asked softly as she looked sweetly up into his eyes. She thought about the question and opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, looking back up at him.  
“Hot” she mumbled quietly looking up at him. Horatio smiled, it was the first time she had responded to a question of his.   
“I know sweetheart, you’ll cool down soon though.” Horatio said with a sweet smile. She looked at his smile and studied it a little. He placed his hand over hers on her stomach and smiled at her as he stroked her arm. She quickly dozed off again and Horatio went to freshen up and had a very quick shower.   
Nathan came back in after morning rounds but was quickly called back out again. Horatio sat by Zoë and kept himself busy, making sure everything was in order at the lab and keeping in contact with the chief, arranging more time off for the both of them.   
Around 12.35pm Zoë began to wake again. She looked over to Horatio after he greeted her and she blinked then pulled her knees up again.   
“Hello beautiful” Horatio said softly as he stood up again and took her hand in his. She looked down at his hand and gently squeezed it as he squeezed hers. She looked up at him and studied his wide smile.   
“How are you feeling?” He questioned and she nodded at him, keeping his smile just as wide.   
“Wha… what am… wh…” She kept falling over her words and then closed her eyes to really think about what she was going to say. Horatio took a deep breath, knowing she was thinking about forming a sentence and was absolutely ecstatic.   
“What am… I wearing?” She asked looking down at the gown.   
“Well done sweetheart, that’s a hospital gown, you’re in hospital sweetheart.” Horatio felt a lump in his throat form, from just hearing her talk to him again. She just looked up at him, a little confused.   
“Where… where am I?” She asked after really thinking about it.   
“You’re in hospital sweetheart.” Horatio softly said as she looked down at her legs. She looked back over at him and then down to his badge.   
“Can you tell me your name?” Horatio asked, doing Nathan’s job for him as he’d been out all day while a few nurses popped in and one gave her a quick sponge bath. She looked up at him and really thought about it. He saw her eyes beginning to water as she shook her head and tightened the muscles in her jaw.   
“Okay sweetheart, don’t worry about it. It’s okay beautiful. It’s okay.” Horatio said softly as he brushed her hair back. She calmed herself down as Horatio soothed her and looked back over at his badge. She lifted her hand and ran her fingers over the metallic surface, tilting her head in the process. Nathan quickly walked in looking stressed and she slowly turned her head to look over to him.  
“Hey, you’re awake.” He said as a smile replaced the stressed expression. She nodded at him as she held on to the badge while Horatio softly brushed her arm.   
“How are you doing?” Nathan asked, also addressing Horatio.  
“She’s managed to speak to me.” Horatio said with a very wide smile. “She asked where she was and what she was wearing.” Horatio added, extremely happy. Nathan looked up at him shocked and pleased. He moved in closer to Zoë and pulled out his torch and sat on the side of the bed.   
“Look at my ear Zoë.” He said as he placed his hand on her head, opening her eyes wider but before he got a look she turned her head away after he shone the light in her eye. She pulled her hands up and pushed his hand away.   
“I’m sorry sweet.” Nathan said softly as he dropped his hand to her shoulder.   
“Can you tell me your name?” Nathan asked and she thought about it and shook her head as she looked at him.  
“Okay sweetheart, can you tell me my name?” Nathan asked softly.   
“No” she replied after thinking about the question.   
“Can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked and she shook her head again as she said “no”.   
“Okay sweetheart. Can you tell me what 1 + 2 is?” Nathan questioned softly. She swallowed and looked at him as she thought about it.   
“3?” She replied about 55 seconds later and he smiled at her.  
“That’s right, well done sweet. Can you tell me what 3 + 2 is?” Nathan questioned.   
“5?” She replied after thinking about it.   
“How many fingers am I holding up?” Nathan asked.   
“7?” She asked after counting them and he nodded at her with a smile. “Yes, well done.” Nathan said as he pulled out the band from his pocket and placed it on her wrist over the bandage.  
“Can you take that off for me please?” Nathan asked as she looked down at it. She really thought about it and took a hold of it and pulled it, she didn’t manage pull it off.   
“Okay sweet, well done.” Nathan said as he pulled it off her wrist.   
“Can you touch my finger with yours?” Nathan said as he held his finger less than a meter away. She lifted her hand and touched his finger.  
“Touch your nose.” Nathan said softly and she did so, slowly.  
“Touch my finger again?” Nathan asked as he moved it, she tracked his hand and then touched it when he had stopped moving.   
“Touch your nose?” Nathan asked and she did so again.   
“Well done sweet, you’ve made more improvement!” Nathan said softly as he took her hand and placed it down over her stomach.  
“You’re having a little difficulty with your hand-eye co-ordination Zoë, but that should improve soon.” Nathan said clearly as he smiled at her and rubbed her hand gently. Horatio stepped forward after seeing Nathan finish. He was smiling like a Cheshire Cat, thrilled with her progress. Nathan was paged to attend another patient and quickly excused himself.   
“You’ve made so much progress beautiful. I cannot tell you how proud of you I am.” Horatio said softly with a grin. She looked up at him and looked into his eyes again. He wasn’t sure if she completely understood him but he needed to say it. He sat on the side of her bed and placed his hand in hers as he picked it up, engulfing her hand in both of his as he rested his arms on his leg.   
“I don’t know how much you’re taking in beautiful, but I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. I love you Zoë, nothing is ever going to change that.” Horatio said quietly and sincerely while she looked at her hand in his. She pulled her hand out of his and reached over to his hip and placed her hand on his gun again.   
“No sweetheart” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand over hers again. She lowered her eyebrows and Horatio very gently took her hand away from the gun.   
“It’s dangerous sweetheart.” Horatio said and she sat up and pulled at it with her left hand. Horatio quickly took it out of the holster and decided he’d give it to her, but before he did, he took all of the bullets out and made sure it was perfectly safe for her to hold. He thought that perhaps it would help her to remember some things. He handed it to her and she looked at it, feeling the texture and studying it. Nathan walked in and his eyes were instantly drawn to the gun.  
“Good God Horatio! You’ve given her your gun?” Nathan asked immediately as he rushed over to her.   
“Nathan, don’t worry, there’s no bullets in there, she cannot hurt herself or anyone else for that matter.” Horatio said calmly as he got up and turned around to look at him. Zoë continued to study the gun. Nathan took a deep breath and realised just how stupid that sounded, he knew Horatio wouldn’t endanger her or anyone else. He nodded at Horatio and walked up to the bed.   
“Zoë can you tell me what that is?” Nathan asked. She looked at it intensely, running her fingers over the different parts. She quickly forgot about the question and placed it in her lap as she looked out the window, hearing a car beep the horn. Her head tilted to the side as Nathan watched her eyes glaze over.   
“Zoë sweet, are you with us?” Nathan questioned as he placed his hand on her shoulder.   
“Zoë?” Nathan asked as her body relaxed. Horatio immediately reached over and they both gently lowered her down as her breathing became slower.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio called loudly. Nathan saw her heart rate had decreased.   
“I think she may have just passed out.” Nathan said softly as he put the blood pressure cuff on her arm.   
“Yeah, her blood pressure is slightly low.” Nathan said as he took it off and raised her legs.   
“Why would she pass out?” Horatio questioned.   
“I haven’t got a clue, it’s likely to be that her body isn’t getting the energy it needs. It’s not uncommon.” Nathan said softly as she swallowed and moved her head.   
“Are you with us?” Nathan asked while he rubbed her arm.  
“Yeah” she mumbled quietly as she looked over at him.   
“You passed out sweet, you’re okay.” Nathan said softly as he brushed her arm, Horatio doing the same.   
“How are you feeling?” Nathan questioned loudly and clearly.  
“Cold” she replied after 15 seconds.   
“Okay sweet” Nathan said as he pulled the blanket back up over her.   
“Can you tell me your name?” Nathan asked, he let her think about it.   
“No” Zoë said after thinking about it and getting stressed again.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said as he brushed her fringe back.   
“Horatio, is it okay if I try a nurse again?” Nathan asked as he withdrew his hand from her. She looked down at Horatio’s other hand as he picked the gun up from the bed and placed it on the side and then went to grip her hand. Horatio thought about it and looked down at her. He then nodded as he looked at her, feeling really bad for her, but wanted to know if she was recovering in anyway as well.   
“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Horatio said as he lightly ran his fingertips up and down her forearm while she watched his hand. She tilted her head and looked softly at his hand. He saw that she liked that sensation as she was fixated on his hand, watching every small movement it made.   
Nathan walked in with Sam.   
“If she reacts, just walk out, don’t talk okay?” Nathan whispered to him as he let Sam passed and he looked down at Zoë, completely in her own world, watching Horatio’s hand.   
“You’ll probably have to touch her.” Nathan said, seeing just how absorbed she was. Sam looked up at Horatio, he gave him a nod and he looked back down at Zoë and slowly reached out and placed his hand on Zoë’s arm.


	13. Chapter 13

Horatio stopped rubbing her arm as she looked over to the nurses hand and then followed his arm up and studied his face, she glanced down to his uniform and then back up to the nurses face. Her eyes glazed over as she lost herself in a daze.   
“Zoë?” Nathan asked, seeing her completely zone out.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio asked as he placed his hand back on her arm.   
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Nathan asked loudly. Roughly 45 seconds after she zoned out, Zoë’s heart rate picked up and began to increase rapidly as she blinked. Her jaw clenched shut as she stared intensely at the nurse and sat up, edging away from him.   
“Thank you Sam.” Nathan said quickly as he almost pushed the nurse out of the way and placed his hand on her face. Sam quickly walked out.   
“Zoë, I need you to listen to me, it’s okay. You’re safe.” Nathan said calmly and loudly. Zoë began to violently tremble as she hyperventilated. Zoë pulled her face out of his hand and pushed him away as Horatio stopped her from getting off the bed.   
“Sweetheart, it’s okay. I need you to listen to my voice, you’re okay.” Horatio said very calmly. She looked around at him and he saw the fear in her eyes.   
“Sweetheart, listen to me. You’re okay, we’ve got you.” Horatio repeated clearly. Her heart rate was setting off the warning alarm until Nathan silenced it. She looked back down.  
She had clenched her fists and froze into the position she was in while she hyperventilated.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to slow your breathing down for me.” Horatio said softly as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She pushed him away almost instantly and her heart rate only increased. Horatio looked up at Nathan distraught. Nathan was in deep thought, trying to think of how he could calm her down. He glanced up at Horatio and then leaned on her bed on his elbows and crouched down.   
“Zoë, can you look at me sweet?” Nathan said very calmly and quietly.   
“Zoë, can you look at me?” Nathan repeated again looking up at her with very soft eyes.   
She glanced over at him.   
“Well done.” He said with a calm smile. “Can you slow your breathing down for me?” He asked tenderly as he held his hand out, palm facing up.   
“It’s okay, you’re safe, you can trust us.” Nathan said very warmly. She looked down at his hand and gingerly placed her hand in his. He gently tightened his grip around her hand and rubbed her hand. He smiled at her softly and then asked her to slow her breathing down again. He took a deep breath with her and exhaled.   
“Well done Zoë, can you do it again?” Nathan asked as he glanced up at the heart monitor and saw her heart rate beginning to decrease. He took another breath with her and they exhaled.   
“Well done.” He said with a smile. He continued to breathe with her until she had sufficiently calmed down.   
“You’ve done really well. Can you lay back for me?” Nathan asked with a kind smile. She nodded at him and he helped her to lie back. He placed his hand in hers and began to gently stroke the back of her fingers as she looked down at his hand.   
She pulled her hand out of his and placed her hand over his, feeling the skin on the back of his hand. Her eyes began to grow heavy as she continued to look down at their hands. She continued to run her fingers over his skin as she fought with the tiredness which shrouded her. He softly smiled at her.

 

He continued to talk to her in a soothing tone until she fell asleep again and stopped playing with his hand. Horatio watched her tenderly touch Nathan and jealousy enveloped his mind. He wanted her to be touching him tenderly and playing with his hand, but he continued to sit back and watch her play with his hand. Once Nathan knew she was asleep he sat down and looked over at Horatio who sat down as well.  
“She’s very vulnerable at the moment, but she’s just proven that she’s improving. There’s some memories coming back, most likely old but she recognised the nurse. You need to let her come to you in situations like that, because she doesn’t have the trust she used to have with you. Again like a child.” Nathan said to Horatio, softly not wanting to hurt him. Horatio gave him a small nod and sat back. They both fell asleep.  
“Zoë? Zoë?” A voice called quietly and she woke up and looked over to the door as a young boy stood in the doorway.   
“Zoë, come on.” He called sweetly, holding up his hand. She looked at the boy and swallowed.   
“Come on Zo” he called, holding his hand out further.   
“It’s good to see you, you’ve grown up so much.” The boy said sweetly as she sat up and took a deep breath, then looked over to Nathan and Horatio.   
“It’s good to see you too but what are you doing here?” She questioned.   
“I’ve come to get you, you have to come with me.” The boy said as he took a step forward, smiling at her.   
“But, I can’t leave.” She said to him.   
“Yes, you can. You can come with me, please? It’s been too long.” The boy pleaded.   
“You can’t leave me.” He said with a tear rolling down his eye.   
“All you have to do is step out of the room, please.” He pleaded, holding his hand out desperately.   
“I can’t go with you.” Zoë said looking at him confused.   
“Please just come with me, I love you Zo.” The boy said and she looked down at the wires and looked back up to him. She pulled the wires off and kicked the blanket off, seeing the child beginning to cry.  
“I can’t leave you again, just come with me and everything will be perfect, I promise you. Everything will be just perfect.” The boy said as he took a step back, as Zoë slowly climbed out of bed. She looked at Horatio and Nathan then slowly made her way to the end of the bed. She looked at the boy and took a deep breath.   
“Just step out of the room, it’s all you need to do.” The boy said, holding his hand out with a smile.   
She took a step closer to the door, watching the sweet boy as he took another step back.   
She took another step closer and the door seemed to move a little further away. She looked around curiously and confused. She took another step towards the door and she began to hear the sound of a flat-lining heart monitor.   
“Zoë?” The boy questioned.  
“Zoë, don’t leave me please!” The boy shouted as she took a few more steps, hearing his desperate cry.   
“Zoë! Don’t leave me! I love you!” The boy shouted as the door moved further away and she felt her body jolt as she was thrown to the floor.  
“Zoë! You’re not slipping away now!” Nathan shouted aggressively as Horatio watched, frozen.   
He began CPR again as the defibrillator warmed up.   
“Zoë!” Nathan yelled as he administered a shot of adrenaline and then shocked her. Her body jolted as Nathan then took her pulse as a nurse forced air into her lungs through the tube in her mouth attached to a bag.  
‘Come on sweetheart, you can’t leave us now.’ Horatio thought to himself as he grabbed her hand as she shot up, eyes wide open, taking a deep breath. The monitor beeped wildly with her heartbeat.   
“Okay Zoë, lay down for me.” Nathan said as he placed his hand on her shoulder as Horatio did the same. She began to choke as the tube in her mouth caused her to panic.   
“Zoë, lay down for me.” Nathan said as she leant forwards and brought her right hand up and pulled the tube from her throat before Horatio or Nathan could stop her. Nathan quickly pulled her gown up and tied it at the back of her neck. She coughed as she looked up at the door.   
“I need you to calm down Zoë.” Nathan said softly, rubbing her back. She exhaled as tears gathered in her eyes as she looked at the door. She brought her hands up to her face as her tears began to fall.   
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Horatio said softly as he crouched down and pulled her hair back.  
“Zoë it’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio assured her as he rubbed her back and placed his other hand on her leg. Her breathing became erratic and Horatio stood up and pulled her over to him as he looked over to Nathan for an answer.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he rubbed her back and ran a hand through her hair.   
He felt her calm down and played with her hair more, glancing up at Nathan often as the nurses quickly disappeared. Nathan picked up the tube she had pulled from her mouth and binned it.  
Nathan took a deep breath and looked down at her softly, feeling so bad for her. Once Zoë had calmed down sufficiently, Horatio let go of her and sat on the side of her bed.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he cupped her face. She looked at him and then moved her head to look at the door. She took a deep breath and looked down as Nathan placed his hand on her back.   
“Get some rest sweet.” Nathan said softly as she looked around to him. She looked back to the door as she took another deep breath. Another tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away.   
“Come on, lie down” Nathan said softly as he placed his other hand on her shoulder and gently pressed to lie her down. Horatio also helped her to lie down as Nathan pulled the blanket up over her.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he brushed her fringe out of her face as he ran his hand through her hair. She looked over at Horatio as he continued to run his hand through her hair and exhaled slowly. They saw the confusion, fear and torment in her eyes and there wasn’t anything they could do about it.   
“Try and get some sleep sweet.” Nathan said very softly as he ran his fingertips up her arm. Both of their hearts had slowed to a normal rate after they both were convinced that they were going to have a heart attack because they were absolutely terrified about what had just happened. Zoë exhaled again and looked back over to Horatio as he played with her hair and dropped her eyes to his chest as she swallowed. She watched him breathe steadily and tried to calm her breathing to his rate. Horatio was stood there for about 15 minutes, just playing with her hair as she very slowly relaxed. She refused to go to sleep in fear.   
“It’s okay sweetheart, you’re safe.” Horatio said softly, seeing her fight the sleep. She glanced up at him and looked back to the door and took a deep breath. She swallowed as she looked back round to Horatio and concentrated on his breathing in order to keep hers calm.   
“Just relax sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he glanced over to Nathan who took a deep breath. Horatio tenderly carried on playing with her hair and she eventually fell back to sleep after fighting it. He backed off after a few more minutes passed and he was convinced she was asleep.  
“What just happened? What caused that?” Horatio questioned, looking over at Nathan as he watched her sleep with a look of concern.  
“I really don’t know Horatio. She just… she just crashed. I wish I had an answer to give you, I do…” Nathan said looking to Horatio as he ran a hand through his hair.   
“So that could just happen again?” Horatio questioned, worried.   
“Yes, I guess it could.” Nathan said looking back at her. Horatio sat back down and took a hold of her hand while Nathan sat back, and lost himself in deep thought.  
’I’m so glad we’ve got Nathan here, you can’t do that to me again sweetheart.’ He thought to himself as he delicately played with her fingers. Nathan slowly fell asleep, but fought to stay awake but the tiredness consumed him and had him away. Horatio simply couldn’t sleep; he just leant on her bed and watched her sleep as he lightly played with her hand. Nathan woke and popped home then came back and started rounds. At around 12.30pm Horatio had gotten up to stretch his legs, he walked over to the window and looked out, thinking. Nathan came in to check up on Zoë, as he took her pulse and looked up at the heart monitor, she began to wake.   
“I’m sorry Zoë” he apologised as she sleepily looked up at him, Zoë just moaned at him and then blinked a few times to get rid of the fuzziness. She rubbed her eyes with her right hand and shuffled to make herself more comfortable.   
“Can you tell me how you’re feeling Zoë?” Nathan asked curiously as he placed his hand over hers.  
“Foggy” she slurred a little as she looked up at him.  
“Okay, well done.” He replied. Horatio looked around to them, but stayed by the window, letting Nathan check her over.   
“Any chest pain?” He questioned and she shook her head.   
“Any odd feelings in your chest?” He questioned and again she shook her head.  
“Do you remember last night?” Nathan questioned and Horatio looked over to her to see her reaction.   
She tightened the muscles in her jaw and looked over to the door.   
“Okay sweet, it’s okay.” Nathan said softly.  
“Can you take this band off your wrist for me?” Nathan asked as he placed the band back on her wrist. Zoë looked at it and tried to pull it off, unsuccessfully. Nathan went to pull it off but Zoë pulled her hands away from him.  
“I just want the band sweet.” Nathan said softly as she looked back down at it. Horatio continued to look over at her and saw the concentration on her face. She pulled at the band again and stopped, really thinking about it. She pulled it up and off and held the band in her left hand and looked up at Nathan.  
“Well done Zoë, really well done!” Nathan said excitedly, absolutely ecstatic.   
“Can you tell me what 4+3 is?” He questioned with a wide grin.  
“7?”   
“Well done.” Nathan replied.   
“How about 6-3?” He questioned and she thought about it.   
“3?”   
“Yes, well done sweet.” Nathan said softly.   
“2x4?” Zoë took a deep breath and closed her eyes to think about it.   
“8?” She asked very shyly.   
“Well done sweet, that’s correct.” Nathan said, seeing just how much thought she had to put into it. Zoë quickly fell asleep again, feeling exhausted.   
“I’m not too sure what we’re going to do about the sponge baths at the moment…” Nathan said turning to Horatio.   
“I guess you’re going to have to do it. I don’t mind giving you a hand if you need it.” Horatio said softly.   
Nathan nodded slowly and looked back over to her. Nathan was quickly called out to attend another patient.   
Horatio sat by her side and tenderly stroked her arm and hand. Nathan popped in to change both of their bandages and then finished his shift.   
He quickly gave Zoë a sponge bath, asking Horatio to wait outside for the moment. He changed her gown and shorts and left with the old ones, letting Horatio sit back with her. She didn’t even stir. Horatio quickly fell asleep, leaning over her bed.   
They woke the next morning, Nathan quickly disappeared after checking Zoë out and Horatio freshened up. Nathan brought them back a cup of coffee and sat down with some paperwork. Zoë began to wake, she took a deep breath and rubbed her face.   
“Hey sweetheart” Horatio said softly as Nathan looked up at her.   
“Morning, how are you feeling Zoë?” Nathan asked as he walked up to the bed and placed his hand on her arm.  
“Erm… okay?” She asked, questioning herself, not sure how she was feeling.   
“Okay sweet, can you tell me where you are?” Nathan questioned.   
“No” She replied after thinking about it.  
“Okay, you’re in hospital.” Nathan said softly. “Can you tell me your name?”   
“No” she replied after thinking hard about it again.   
“Can you tell me where you are?” Nathan questioned again.   
“No” Zoë said after about 30 seconds.   
“Okay sweet, that’s alright.” Nathan said briefly looking up at Horatio  
“Can you tell me what 3x2 is?” Nathan questioned.   
“6?” She asked after some time.   
“Yes, well done. 5x3?” Zoë looked at him, and thought about it. She began to chew on her tongue, both Nathan and Horatio tried to stop her. Nathan pulled his hand away and let Horatio stop her.   
“Okay sweet, not to worry.” Nathan said softly.   
“What was the question?” she mumbled.   
“5x3?”   
“15?” Zoë questioned, sounding more confident of herself.   
“Can you tell me what 3 x 7 is?” Nathan asked curiously. She thought about it. “21.” She said confidently.   
“Well done. How about 12/4?” He studied her thinking face. “3.” She said confidently again. Nathan smiled at her and nodded.   
“Can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked and she glanced around the room before settling her eyes on Horatio who was tenderly looking over at her.   
She studied him a little; she studied how he was standing and then looked up at his red hair which was shining brightly as the light bounced off it.   
“Zoë, can you tell me where you are?” Nathan asked as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked back around to him and studied his face.   
“No.” She said after thinking.   
“Can you tell me who I am?” Nathan asked softly. She studied his face a little before shaking her head.  
Zoë looked back round to Horatio as he shuffled on his feet. She studied how he stood once more.   
“Zoë, can you tell me who he is?” Nathan asked. Horatio stood by her bed as she studied his face hard. She looked at his clothing and then back up to his face and hair. She tilted her head.  
“I…” Zoë began but stopped herself to study him again. “Go on.” Nathan urged, encouraging her.   
“I–” She began but stopped when her eyes fixated on his sunglasses in his hands. He was fiddling with them and looked down at them when she did. Her eyes narrowed on them, focussing, thinking. She lifted her right hand and placed her hand over his, taking a hold of the sunglasses. He let her take them as she brought them in closer to her, looking at them intensely. She looked back up to his face, they could both see that she was thinking very hard about it.  
“I know you?” Zoë asked unsure of herself as she looked into his eyes. A smile appeared across Horatio’s face as he nodded at her. She handed him the sunglasses back and he gently took them from her hand.   
“Try putting them on” Nathan said softly to Horatio. Horatio looked up at Nathan and then down to Zoë, who was still studying his face. He placed them on and looked down at Zoë, who’s eyes narrowed on him more, thinking even harder. She lowered her eyebrows as she tilted her head, she began to chew on her tongue again.   
“Don’t do that sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand as she focused on him.   
“Sweetheart?” Zoë questioned quietly to herself as she stopped chewing on her tongue. Horatio took the sunglasses off and held them in his hand while she didn’t take her eyes off his. She was searching his eyes for the answer.   
“Ho–” She stopped herself and began thinking again, as his heart skipped a beat. She looked down at her feet under the covers and then back up to him.   
“Horatio?” She questioned, lowing her eyebrows further. “Horatio” she said more sure of herself.   
A very wide smile appeared across his face as he nodded at her.  
“Yes.” He said nodding as his smile seemed to grow more.   
“Very well done Zoë” Nathan said with a smile himself, thrilled that she had managed to identify Horatio.  
“You’re…” Zoë stopped herself to think again. Horatio had no idea what she was going to say. “You’re head of the crime lab, where I work?” Zoë questioned.   
“That’s right.” Horatio said smiling at her. Ryan walked in at this moment and looked over at them, and then stood by Nathan.   
“Can you tell me who you are?” Nathan questioned as Ryan remained silent as Zoë looked around and studied Ryan. She had already forgotten that Nathan had asked her a question. Zoë studied how Ryan stood.   
“Can you tell me who you are?” Nathan questioned again, placing his hand on her shoulder, getting her attention. She looked over at Nathan and lost herself in thought again, about 35 seconds later she answered. “Zoë, Zoë Chambers?” She asked. Nathan nodded at her with a smile, a smile appeared across Ryan’s face, he’d just walked in on her beginning to remember. Her eyes settled on Ryan again.   
“Can you tell me who he is?” Nathan asked pointing to Ryan who stood there with his arms crossed looking at her with a smile.  
She looked at him, lowering her eyebrows again. She studied his posture and face, then his hair. She looked back down to his eyes and searched them.   
“Joshua?” She questioned and Ryan looked at her confused.   
“Who’s Joshua?” Nathan mouthed silently to Horatio.   
“Zoë that’s not Joshua, sweetheart” Horatio said softly. Horatio looked up at Nathan.   
“Yes it is; he’s there.” Zoë said looking round to Horatio.   
“Josh, why did you want me to walk through the door the other night?” She questioned, looking at Ryan intensely.  
“Who’s Joshua, Zoë?” Nathan questioned.   
“My brother” Zoë looked at him as if he was stupid then back to Ryan. Ryan exhaled, devastated that she didn’t recognise him.   
“Didn’t you see him the other night?” She questioned, looking at Nathan. “He was here.” She said looking back to Ryan.   
“He asked you to walk through the door?” Nathan questioned.   
“Yeah, and when I walked over to him, the door moved as I heard this sound and then I was in the bed.” She said looking up at Nathan sweetly. They all swallowed.   
“You’re dead Josh, how are you here?” She questioned.   
“He’s not Joshua, sweetheart.” Horatio said softly.  
“Am I dead? Is that why I’m seeing you?” She asked softly.  
“Sweetheart, that’s not Joshua–” Horatio began.  
“Josh tell them.” She pleaded, looking at Ryan.   
“Zoë, I’m not Joshua…” Ryan said softly and calmly. She looked at him, lowering her eyebrows.   
“That’s Ryan.” Horatio said looking at Ryan.   
“That’s Josh, what are you talking about?! Who’s Ryan?” Zoë questioned, getting agitated and upset as she sat up. Ryan swallowed with a lump gathering in his throat.  
“Okay sweet, try and calm down for me, it’s okay.” Nathan said placing his hand on her back. She took a deep breath and pulled away from Nathan’s hand, growing more upset.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to calm down. It’s okay.” Horatio said softly, placing his hand on her arm, but she quickly pulled away looking up at Ryan.  
“What’s going on Josh? Where am I?” She questioned, looking at Ryan with tears falling from her eyes. Ryan looked at Horatio and Nathan, he didn’t know what to do.   
“Comfort her.” Nathan said quickly, seeing him confused. Horatio stepped back and let Ryan past and he sat on the bed beside her.   
“It’s okay, it’s okay Zoë.” Ryan said softly as she leant in to hug him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she turned to him and bowed her head next to his. He wrapped his arms loosely around her.   
“What’s going on?” She asked quietly.  
“I don’t know, I really don’t know Zoë.” Ryan said softly.   
“She’s going to pass out.” Nathan said, seeing her heart rate drop. Ryan felt her grip loosen around his neck and when he felt her completely relax he gently laid her back.   
“What’s going on Nathan? Why isn’t she recognising me?” Ryan questioned as Nathan lifted her legs.   
“I… I don’t know Ryan, I really can’t tell you.” Nathan said looking up at Horatio and Ryan. A bigger lump in Ryan’s throat developed as he thought about what had just happened. He began to fear that she’d never recognise him as Ryan again. She quickly came around again, moaning quietly and lifting her arm to cover her eyes. She turned her head and drifted off into sleep.   
“Is she just sleeping?” Horatio questioned.   
“I think so, I don’t have an answer for either of you.” Nathan said softly. They nodded at him in understanding.  
“What was she talking about?” Ryan questioned.   
“About what?” Nathan questioned, looking down over Zoë.   
“About the other night, she said she saw her brother, that’s not right, surely?” Ryan questioned, worried.   
“The other night she was resuscitated.” Nathan said softly, looking over to Ryan. He swallowed and looked at her sleeping.   
“I er… I need to be getting back to work.” Ryan said softly, not wanting to be subject to something like that again, or at least just yet.   
“Okay Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said, knowing he was cut up again. He quickly left and drove back to the lab with thoughts rushing through his mind.   
Zoë woke 4 hours later and looked over to Horatio, she blinked a few times and Horatio took her hand in his.   
“Hey sweetheart” Horatio said smoothly. She looked at him for a bit, she didn’t look like she recognised him again. She looked at his hair and then into his eyes as he stood up.   
“It’s Horatio sweetheart.” He said softly.  
“Horatio?” She questioned, looking into his eyes.  
“Yes it’s me sweetheart.” Horatio said softly.   
“How are you feeling?” He questioned.   
“Okay” she said as she then rubbed her eye with her left hand and studied the cast.   
“What is that?” She asked quietly.   
“It’s a cast, you’ve got a broken wrist.” Horatio said softly, stroking her arm. Nathan walked in and smiled when he saw her awake.   
“Hey” Nathan said softly as he walked up to her bed. She just looked at him blankly.   
“Can you tell me your name?” Nathan questioned, she thought about it for a bit.  
“Zoë?” She questioned herself and Nathan nodded at her with a smile.   
“Do you know who he is?” Nathan asked pointing to Horatio, Horatio nodded at him.  
“Horatio” she said softly as she looked back round to him.  
“Where am I?” She questioned, looking up at him.  
“You’re in hospital sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, she looked back down to his badge on his belt.   
“You’re a Lieutenant, aren’t you?” She questioned looking back up at him.  
“Yes” Horatio said softly, giving her a smile.  
“Horatio… Horatio Caine?” She asked.   
“Yes, that’s correct sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he gently stroked her forearm.   
“Zoë, can you tell me my name?” Nathan questioned. She studied him and then looked at his name badge.   
“Nathan?” She questioned reading the name badge.   
“Hey, that’s cheating.” Nathan said as he flashed her a smile.  
“Nathan! Nathan Taylor?” Zoë said sure of herself. “That’s right, what do I do?” Nathan asked her.   
“You’re a doctor? A good doctor?” Zoë questioned.   
“Yes, a good doctor.” Nathan confirmed with a smile. “Well done Zoë, you’ve made some fantastic progress.” Nathan said happily.  
“I’m a detective and CSI?” She asked Horatio, who nodded at her.   
“Why… why am I struggling to remember these things?” She asked, as she began to feel exhausted.   
“You’ve suffered major trauma to the brain Zoë, things are going to seem a little weird for a while.” Nathan said smoothly. She looked at him.   
“Try and get some sleep sweet.” Nathan said softly, Zoë nodded at him and rested her head back and fell asleep. Once she had fallen asleep Nathan turned to Horatio.  
“Because she’s beginning to remember again, it doesn’t mean that she’s going to be the person that we know, I’m warning you now that there could be some personality changes even if her memory comes back almost unscathed. As you’ve witnessed, she can get quite agitated, I’m afraid that there will be more of that to come, don’t be alarmed and you need to keep very calm during those situations. She may say some things that are completely out of character, in which case it is the brain injury talking, don’t take anything personally, okay?” Nathan warned him.   
“I understand.” Horatio said softly. Nathan left to check up on another patient. Horatio sat down next to her, with a smile on his face, just happy that she recognised him. Ryan walked back in 45 minutes later and looked over at Horatio. Horatio gave him the nod to come forwards.   
“She woke up again and remembered Nathan.” Horatio said softly, trying to give him hope. Ryan just nodded at him. She woke up 5 minutes later and rubbed her face, she looked down at Horatio and blinked a few times.   
“Horatio?” She questioned, focussing on Horatio.   
“Yes, I’m here sweetheart.” Horatio said soothingly as he stood up. Ryan shuffled on his feet and she looked back around, hearing him. She looked at him, studying him, a minute and a half passed and they remained in silence.  
“Wolfe?” She questioned, tilting her head, looking a little confused with herself. A smile appeared across Ryan’s face.   
“Ryan Wolfe?” She questioned, lowing her eyebrows.   
“Yes, that’s right. You’re right.” Ryan said, absolutely over the moon.  
“Do you work with me?” She questioned.   
“Yes I do, we work in the lab.” Ryan said with a smile. She took a deep breath and rested her head back.  
“How are you feeling?” Horatio asked.   
“Okay, just a little foggy.” She said, as she slurred her words a little.  
“Where am I?” Zoë asked looking around.   
“You’re in hospital.” Horatio said softly, not wanting to distress her.   
“Hospital?” Zoë asked looking back around to him. “Yes.” Horatio confirmed. Zoë took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she rested her head back into the pillow.   
“It’s okay; you don’t need to worry about it.” Horatio said before she could get stressed. She opened her eyes and looked into his. “Why am I here?” She asked lowering her eyebrows.   
“I think that’s a conversation for another day.” Horatio gently said, brushing it to the side, expecting her to force it out of him. Instead she just gave him a nod and looked down.  
“Where’s my clothes?” She asked looking back up at him.   
“I can go and get you some if you want?” Horatio said, not wanting to bring the situation to light at the moment.   
“You?” She said a little surprised. “Or I can get Alexx to get you some if you want?” Horatio asked.   
“Alexx?” Zoë asked confused, not remembering her. “Yes, Alexx works with us.” Horatio said a little confused, it then clicked in his head that she probably doesn’t remember her just yet. Zoë lowered her eyebrows at him.   
“I can get you some of your clothes, it’s not a problem.” Horatio said lightly.  
“You’re my boss; you can’t be expected to do that.” She said to him confused as she studied his face. Her words drove a knife right through his chest. She saw the distress in his eyes but didn’t know why.   
“What did I say?” Zoë asked confused. Ryan saw Horatio’s face drop.  
“You didn’t say anything sweetheart, don’t worry about it.” He said as he gave her a small forced smile. She couldn’t tell that his smile was forced and nodded at him.   
“Try and get some rest.” Horatio said softly, as his mind began to wander and replay her words. She gave him another nod and relaxed back as he turned and looked out of the window thinking to himself. Ryan left, happy but he saw the distress in Horatio’s eyes and knew he needed some time. ‘She doesn’t remember us? What do I do? Should I ask her or leave her to remember on her own? She didn’t press me to tell her about why she is here. She always got it out of us. She didn’t smile, she didn’t remember Alexx? Where’s my Zoë?’ Horatio’s thoughts were broken when Nathan walked into the room. Nathan saw the distress in Horatio, just by observing the way he stood.   
“Horatio, are you okay?” Nathan asked as he looked over at Zoë.   
“I’m good.” Horatio said as he turned around to see Zoë waking up from the noise again.   
Zoë looked up at Nathan confused.  
“Are you okay?” Nathan asked addressing Zoë.   
“Yeah” She said a little unsure of herself.   
“Are you sure? Is there something bothering you?” Nathan asked seeing the confusion in her eyes.   
“I don’t know.” She simply said looking up at him.   
“Okay sweet.” Nathan said soothingly as he placed his hand on her arm.   
“You’re a little warm, can I take the blanket off?” Nathan said softly. She looked from him to the blanket and studied it.   
“Can you take it off?” Nathan asked, again trying to assess her problem solving skills. She glanced back up at him and then down to the blanket again and pushed it off.   
“Well done sweet.” Nathan said softly as he wrote a few things down in her notes. She noticed the air cast on her left wrist and the bandage on her right.  
“Have I fractured my wrist?” She asked as she felt the cast with her right hand.   
“Yes, you did it a few weeks ago or so, but you exacerbated the fracture when you were brought in this time.” Nathan said, not wanting to get onto the subject of why she was here just yet.   
“How did I fracture it?” Zoë asked softly.   
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Nathan asked as Zoë began to think about it.   
“I remember… being in the lab with Ryan and he was unwell… he collapsed.” Zoë said, recalling that morning, it took a lot of her mental process just to recall that.   
“Okay sweet, that was about 3-4 months ago?” Nathan asked looking up at Horatio. Horatio walked over to them.   
“About that, yes.” Horatio said with a nod.  
“3-4 months ago?” Zoë asked looking over at Nathan who nodded at her. She looked down at his shirt and her eyes glazed over again.  
“Zoë? Can you hear me?” He placed his hand on her face and gently rubbed her cheek.   
“Zoë can you hear me sweet?” Nathan asked.   
“What’s happening?” Horatio asked, confused.   
“I’m not sure.” Nathan said as he pulled out his pen torch and shone it in her eyes.   
“Zoë, can you squeeze my hand for me?” Nathan asked as he placed his fingers in her hand and wiggled them against her palm. She didn’t move. About 10 seconds later she blinked and looked up at Nathan, looking at him confused.   
“Are you okay sweet?” Nathan asked as he looked into both of her eyes again.   
“Yeah” She said tiredly.   
“Zoë, we’re going to take you down for an EEG in a while, okay?”   
“Mmm” She mumbled as she closed her eyes and began to fall asleep. Horatio looked up at Nathan, silently asking him what was going on.   
“I think that she may have developed some sort of epilepsy, then again, it could just be a harmless daydream.” Nathan said looking down at her.   
“Epilepsy?” Horatio questioned and then exhaled as he looked down at her. Nathan nodded at him, he then got on the phone and ordered an EEG. She was taken down 30 minutes later as she woke up again. Once it was over Nathan took her back up to her room.   
“I’ll know the results soon, okay?” He said as he got a page to attend another patient. Horatio gave him a nod.   
“How are you feeling?” Horatio asked Zoë softly.   
“Alright” she said still looking a little confused.   
“Just alright?” Horatio asked as he leant against her bed.   
“Yeah, I don’t know… something just feels… weird.” She said looking up at him. “I can’t put my finger on it.” She added as she played with the blanket, feeling the texture.  
“It’ll come back to you.” Horatio said giving her a small smile.   
Eric walked in and a smile grew across his face almost instantly. He walked up to her bed, she studied him a little.   
“Eric?” She questioned. “Yeah, it’s me Zoë.” Eric said with a smile. “Eric Delko.” She said sure of herself as his smile grew, knowing what she was feeling like.   
“How are you feeling?” He asked as he stood the opposite side of Horatio.  
“Alright” She said looking up at him, searching his eyes.   
“How’s your memory?” Eric asked cautiously.   
“Okay, I think. I can’t remember the past 3-4 months though.” Zoë said looking confused with herself.   
“It’ll come back.” Eric said softly and then his phone rang, he answered and then explained that he had to go. He left after Horatio gave him a nod.   
Zoë looked round to Horatio and looked up at him. “Alexx” She simply said as she looked up at him.  
“Alexx Woods?” She said remembering Alexx working with her on a case.   
“That’s right, she’s our–” Horatio began. “M.E” Zoë finished it for him. Horatio smiled at her and she relaxed her head back into the pillow.   
“Do you want me to get Alexx to pick up some clothes?” Horatio asked, still hurting from her innocent comment.   
“Please.” Zoë said looking over at him.   
“Anything you’d like in particular?” Horatio asked.  
“Just some joggers and a top” Zoë said looking over at him, trying to remember what she had.   
“Sure thing, let me just make the phone call.” Horatio said as he turned around and pulled his phone out of his pocket and phoned Alexx. Zoë relaxed back, listening to Horatio talk and then fell asleep. Horatio turned back around and smiled, seeing her sleeping again. He sat down and watched Zoë sleep for a bit until Nathan came back in.   
“Good news, it’s not epilepsy… it’s probably a daydream or something like a blackout, it’s not an absence seizure.” Nathan said softly. “It could be her brain still trying to repair itself, I can’t tell you for sure, but I can tell you what it’s not.” Nathan said quietly as he watched Zoë sleep. Nathan took the bandages off her wrist and hand, then did the same to Horatio’s as they had both healed sufficiently.  
Horatio gave him a small smile and nod and Nathan walked back out again. Alexx popped over about 40 minutes later. Horatio updated her and she had to leave on another call out, leaving the clothes on the end of the bed. She also dropped off a bag with Zoë’s wash things. A few hours passed and Nathan popped back in just as Zoë was beginning to wake again.   
“Hey, are you with us?” Nathan asked with a smile as he rubbed her eyes.   
“Yeah” She said sleepily.   
She saw the clothes on the end of the bed.   
“Can you say thank you to Alexx please?” Zoë asked Horatio.   
“Of course” Horatio said with a smile.   
“Well, I can now say that your short-term memory is coming back nicely.” Nathan said with a smile.   
“How are you feeling?” Nathan asked smoothly.   
Zoë looked over at Horatio and thought about it. She looked into his eyes. “Marvellous.” She said as she looked at Horatio. A very wide smile appeared across Horatio’s face as he stood up and chuckled a little. She studied his smile.   
“How are you really feeling?” Nathan asked again.   
“Not too bad… just feels like something’s missing” Zoë said turning back to Nathan.   
“Okay, you’re going to feel like that for a little while, I can’t tell you if you’re going to get the memory back from the last 3-4 months, but I’m hoping you do. You’ve made a remarkable recovery Zoë.” Nathan said with a smile.   
She lifted her right hand and ran her fingers from her left hand over the almost healed wounds. Horatio had noticed that her hand hadn’t healed as well as his, but knew it was because she’d been unwell and her immune system was probably slightly compromised. She looked back up at Nathan as she dropped her hands to her stomach.  
“Can I… Can I…” Zoë said stuttering, trying to get the words out.   
“Think about it, and then say it.” Nathan said softly. Zoë thought about the sentence and then said it.   
“Can I have a shower?” Zoë asked.   
“Zoë, I… I don’t know. You’ve not been out of bed for 3 weeks now. I’ll have to assess you.” Nathan said softly.   
“Well assess me then.” Zoë said looking at him a little confused.   
Nathan quickly checked her motor skills and gave her some problems to solve and maths questions. He then asked if she could sit up. She did as he asked.   
“How are you feeling?” He asked.   
“Good.” Zoë said looking over at him.   
“Okay, I’m going to take the catheter out.” Nathan said as he looked at her.   
“Okay.” She said simply, Nathan was a little surprised, last time she fought with him about it.   
“Horatio…” Nathan said looking up at him.   
“I’ll just be outside.” Horatio said as Zoë gave him a nod. Nathan pulled some gloves on and asked her to lay back down. He took the IV out and then took the catheter out and disposed of them both.   
“Well done, I’m going to get Horatio back in here, okay?” Zoë nodded at him as she sorted the gown out. Nathan walked back over to her and Horatio walked to the other side of the bed. He gave her a nod as she looked over at him.   
“Okay, slowly swing your legs around and off the bed.” Nathan said as he placed his hand on her shoulder.   
“Horatio, could you come around here please?” Nathan asked as she sat on the edge of the bed, dangling her legs off the bed. Horatio stood the other side of Zoë.   
“Just keep her steady.” Nathan said as he let go of her and Horatio placed his hand on her shoulder.   
“I’m just going to take the leads off, okay?” Nathan said softly and then pulled the first one off. He finished popping them off and pulled them out and placed them on the bed.   
“Right, we’re going to take your weight, and then slowly ease you on to your feet, okay?”   
“Okay.” Zoë said as she nodded.   
They helped her off the bed and took her weight, slowly easing her on to her feet.   
“Okay?” Nathan asked often and she’d answer with “yes” or nodded. They let her take all her weight, but didn’t let go of her.   
“How are you feeling?” Nathan asked.   
“Good.” She said as she stretched her legs and back. Nathan reached over to her clothes and picked them up along with her wash stuff. They went to start walking but Zoë just stood there, having difficultly remembering what she had to do.   
“Okay, we’re going to do this in small steps.” Nathan said as he let go of her with his right and tapped her right leg, knowing that it was touch that was her strongest sense at this point in time, it was the sense that her brain recognised the most. She took a step with her right foot and Nathan then tapped her left leg. Zoë began to walk a lot better, once her brain caught up with the situation.   
“Sorry, I just had a bit of a blank there.” She said, confused as to why it seemed so difficult to start off with.  
“Don’t worry, you’re doing really well.” Nathan said with a smile. But they were both a little shocked that she was allowing them to help her. Nathan placed her things down on the side once they got into the en-suite.  
“Do not lock the door and please shout if you need anything at all.” Nathan said clearly. She gave him a nod.  
“You promise to call for me if you need anything?” Nathan asked.   
“Yes, I promise.” She said nodding.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nathan asked double checking.   
“Yes.” She said.  
“Okay.” Nathan said, happy that she was actually feeling okay. They both let go of her. Nathan closed the door behind them and Zoë began to get undressed and had the shower. Nathan listened intensely and asked if she was okay every now and then. She washed her hair and got out, drying herself feeling a lot fresher. ‘Well, thank God I waxed…’ She thought to herself. She put her underwear on then her joggers, she tried to tie the strings to hold them up but couldn’t, causing her to get stressed. She picked up her bra and looked at it, slightly confused, not remembering how to put it on. She began to get even more stressed at herself because she couldn’t do a simple task.   
“Zoë, are you alright sweet?” Nathan questioned, not hearing anymore movement.   
“Yeah” they both heard the uncertainty in her voice.   
“Are you sure?” Nathan called and then he heard her let out a small cry. She began to get too stressed to the point where she couldn’t focus on anything. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she tried to keep herself calm.  
“I’m coming in.” Nathan said, he quickly closed the door after him and looked over to her, she had her back to the door and her head in her hands.  
“What’s wrong sweet?” Nathan asked as he cautiously approached her.  
“I can’t put it on Nathan.” She said looking back round to him.   
“That’s nothing to worry about Zoë. Take a deep breath sweet. I’ll help; it’s really nothing to worry about, okay?” Nathan said softly, reassuring her as he took her bra from her hand. She took a deep breath and nodded, putting her arms through the straps as Nathan held it for her. She quickly dried the tears from her cheeks as he done the clasp up. He placed his hands on her waist and turned her, he brought his hands up to the sides of her bra and pulled it down a little as he adjusted the cups.  
“See, it wasn’t a problem. You don’t need to get worked up about things like this, there’s going to be a lot of things that seem difficult and odd, okay? You just need to ask for some help and there’s no shame in that, okay?” Nathan asked softly as he reached for her top. She shyly nodded at him, wiping the tears still. She looked down and gasped. Nathan immediately looked back at her.  
“Wha… what’s that?” She questioned as she placed her hand over the old bullet wound.  
“You were shot roughly 2 and a half months ago.” Nathan said softly, giving her a warm look.  
“I was shot?” She questioned as she looked back up at her.   
“Yes, sweet.” Nathan said as he helped her get the top on.  
“Thank you Nathan.” She said softly looking up at him.   
“Not a problem, are you okay now?” He questioned softly as she tried to tie up the draw strings on her joggers again but had no luck. Nathan quickly placed his hands over hers and did them up for her. She swallowed again, feeling the tears threaten to fall again, upset because she couldn’t even simply tie something up.  
“Don’t worry about it, okay?” Nathan said softly, seeing her on the verge of breaking down again.  
“Yeah, thank you. Sorry.” Zoë said composing herself.  
“You don’t need to be sorry; can we get you back to bed now?” Nathan asked softly.   
“I just want to do my teeth.” She said. “Of course, I’ll be outside.” Nathan said, pulling the door too after him. Horatio looked up at him and silently asked him if she was okay. Nathan gave Horatio a nod with a small smile.   
Zoë opened the door and walked out, having tried to tie up her wet hair.  
“Come here sweet.” Nathan said softly and took the hairband from her and tied her hair up.  
Horatio saw the amount of weight she had lost. Zoë stopped and studied how Horatio looked at her. She tilted her head looking at him, not understanding his facial expression. He saw that she’d lost most of her muscle tone, there wasn’t much more fat that she could get rid of, it was the loss of muscle which had caused her weight to drop.   
“Are you okay?” Nathan asked her as he placed his hand on her back.   
“Yeah” Zoë said as she carried on looking at Horatio.   
“Are you okay Horatio?” Zoë asked confused.   
“Yes, I’m fine sweetheart.” Horatio said with a small smile and a nod.   
“Back to bed with you” Nathan said as he urged her back. She sat on the bed as Nathan put the head of the bed up more, so she could sit comfortably.   
“Should I put another top on or something?” Zoë asked, confused as to why he was almost staring at her.   
“No it’s not that sweetheart.” Horatio said reassuring her that she was okay. She leaned back on the bed.   
“What is it then?” She asked still confused.   
“You’ve just lost a bit of weight, that’s all - nothing to worry about.” Horatio said giving her a small forced smile. She looked down at herself and noticed that she did seem a little too thin.  
“You’ll put it back on soon, don’t worry about it.” Nathan said with a small smile.  
She pulled her legs up and then leant on her knees looking over to Nathan.   
“When can I go home?” Zoë asked Nathan.   
“I don’t know, hopefully soon.” Nathan said with a small smile as he stepped up to her bed.   
“Do you think you can eat something for me?” Nathan asked.   
“It depends on what it is.”  
“How about a sandwich?” Nathan asked raising his eyebrows.  
“With what in?” Zoë asked looking at him curiously.  
“Cheese?” Nathan said trying to guess what she liked.   
“Okay.” She said as she nodded.  
“How about a drink?” Nathan asked.   
“Tea?” Zoë asked.   
“You’ve got it.” Nathan said as he headed out, asking Horatio who said “coffee, thank you”.  
Horatio sat down by Zoë, she sat forwards and crossed her legs, resting her hands on her ankles.   
“How did I fracture my arm?” She came out with bluntly.   
“We can talk about it another time?” Horatio asked trying to brush it off again, he was hoping that she’d force it out of him like she used to, but also genuinely thought it was better if they spoke about it another time. She just looked at him and gave him her ‘tell me now’ face. A smile appeared across Horatio’s face and he chuckled a little.   
“What’s funny?” She asked confused.   
“Nothing sweetheart, it’s just I’ve not seen that facial expression in some time.” Horatio said with a smile.   
“What facial expression?” Zoë asked curiously.  
“The face you pull when you want me to tell you something.” Horatio said with a small smile, still seeing her confusion.   
“You raise your eyebrow and your cheek slightly, I’d demonstrate… but only you can pull that expression off.” He said with a wide smile, remembering that expression.   
“Ah I didn’t even realise I was doing it.” She said as Horatio smiled at her.  
“Well, the face can’t have worked because you’ve successfully distracted me.” She said. Horatio chuckled a little more.  
“So… how did I do this? Don’t tell me it was something stupid like falling down some stairs…” She asked. Nathan walked back in with 3 cups, a sandwich and 3 packs of crisps.   
“I think we can all do with a snack.” Nathan said as he sat down, relaxing as he handed Horatio a packet and a coffee.   
“I’m putting your tea on the side until it cools down a little, okay?” Nathan said.   
“I’m not a child.” Zoë said getting a little stressed.  
“I know, I know sweet, I just don’t want you to accidently drop it. You have to understand that at the moment, your brain is working exceptionally hard just to focus on keeping you sitting up straight.” Nathan said, quickly covering his back, trying not to stress her out further.   
“Cheese sandwich?” Nathan asked as she glared at him, his soft smile softened her glare as she nodded at him, calming herself down.   
Zoë took a few bites out of the sandwich and put it down. Nathan looked up at her raising his eyebrows.   
“Just try and finish that half for me please?” Nathan asked.   
“Okay.” She said as she exhaled. She managed to finish that half and began to feel nauseous as she put the plate on the side.   
“Okay?” Nathan asked after taking a sip of his coffee.   
“Yeahhh…” She said slowly trying to concentrate on not throwing it back up.   
“Are you feeling a little sick?” Nathan asked her and she nodded at him.   
“Okay sweet, it’s because your stomach hasn’t had any food for about 3 weeks, the nutrients has just been put straight into your bloodstream.” Nathan said putting his coffee down and gently rubbing her back.   
“Have a little bit of water; it may calm your stomach a bit.” Nathan said as he handed her a glass of water. She sipped it slowly, and began to feel a little better.   
“Well done.” Nathan said softly as he rubbed her back.   
“Thank you.” She said as she handed the glass back to him. She pulled her top up a little as she stretched her back again.   
Ryan popped by and instantly smiled as he saw Zoë sitting up and a lot more alert.   
She looked up at him and said “Ryan”.   
“How are you feeling?” Ryan asked as he pulled up at chair next to Nathan.   
“Better, thank you.”  
Ryan’s eyes began to wander as he too noticed that she’d lost a lot of weight. He scalded himself, remembering that Horatio and her were in a relationship.   
“Good day at work?” She asked as she turned to look at the cup of tea.   
“I’ll pass it to you.” Nathan butted in before she reached for it. “Sorry Ryan.” He apologised, realising it was rude.  
“Don’t worry Nathan… it’s been busy. We need you both back asap.” Ryan said with a smile. Zoë looked over to Horatio.   
“How long have you been off work?” Zoë asked him as Nathan stood and picked up her cup of tea.   
Horatio thought that he was definitely in trouble now.   
“Erm… just as long as you have.” Horatio said not wanting to stress her out.   
“Why? They need you Horatio.” Zoë said looking at him softly.  
“You did too Zoë, look, we’ll talk about it when you’re out of here, okay?” Horatio said trying to brush it off again.   
“Okay…” She said thinking. Nathan held the cup of tea and she looked round to him and held the cup.  
“Thank you Nathan.” She said as she took the cup in both hands and sipped it.   
“Good day in bed?” Ryan asked with a small cheeky smile, hoping to spur on her old cheekiness.   
“What do you think?” She said as she looked at him.   
“Well from the looks of it, you don’t seem to want to leave.” He said giving her another very cheeky smile, although, being careful not to push her limits.   
She looked at him and thought about his comment, she couldn’t tell that he was being sarcastic. She looked at him slightly confused and tilted her head.   
“Don’t worry about it Zoë, I was being sarcastic.” Ryan said with a small smile, realising she didn’t understand. She thought about it again and they all witnessed a small smile grow across her face as she tilted her head at him. All three of them melted, seeing her smile for the first time in 3 weeks.  
“Cheeky?” She asked with the smile.  
“Me… cheeky? I think you’re getting us confused.” Ryan said, trying to spur her on again, her concentration was quickly taken from Ryan to Horatio.   
“I saw that grin too, Horatio.” She said looking over to him softly. He chuckled to himself looking down, with his boyish grin again. She took a few more sips of the tea and held it close to her again.   
They could clearly see that she wasn’t herself, but Ryan seemed to bring back a little bit of her old personality. They were all silenced, just taking in her smile that they hadn’t seen for the past couple of weeks.   
“Are you all alright?” She asked as they all silenced, picturing her smile again.   
“Yes, better than ever” Horatio said looking up at her, reassuring her that everything was good. He knew that Nathan and Ryan were also happy to see her smile again. They had all gone from believing that she was gone forever, to watching her sit up in front of them and give them all a smile. The situation felt rather surreal to them.   
“What–” She began to say something, but then nothing came out of her mouth and she looked down at the sheet at the end of the bed.  
“Zoë?” Nathan said, noticing that something was wrong. Her eyes glazed over and Nathan grabbed the cup of tea before she had a chance to drop it. He then stood up once he hand a hold of the cup.   
“Zoë?” Nathan said as he pulled the cup from her grip, he placed it on the side and placed his hand on the side of her face as both Horatio and Ryan stood up.   
“Zoë, can you hear me sweet?” Nathan called as he pulled out his pen torch and shone it in her eyes.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio asked as he gently rubbed her back. About 45 seconds later she blinked and looked over at Nathan who still had his hand on her face. She looked at him confused.   
“Are you okay Zoë?” Nathan asked gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb.   
“Yeah” She said to him.   
“Do you remember what just happened?” Nathan asked as Horatio continued to rub her back.   
“Ryan?” She asked as she looked over to him.   
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked a little confused himself.   
“Yeah” She said unsure of herself. “You were just here?” She asked him, thinking to herself.  
“Yes.” Ryan said getting confused.   
“Okay sweet, I think it’s time you got some rest.” Nathan said softly. She looked round to Nathan, he saw the exhaustion in her eyes. Nathan lowered the head of the bed, not so it was flat, but so it had a small inclination.  
“Get some sleep and you’ll feel a lot better.” Nathan said as he gently urged her to lay back. Horatio and Nathan steadily helped her to lay back.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow Zoë.” Ryan said softly, worried about her.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said softly as she relaxed back and uncrossed her legs. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.’ Ryan thought in his head, missing the small little things that made her who she was. She fell asleep almost instantly.   
Ryan looked to Nathan as did Horatio, both very concerned.   
“I know it’s not epilepsy, I don’t have a name for it. It could be her brain trying to take in some information, or it could be something like a blackout?” Nathan said running a hand through his hair.   
“But is she okay?” Ryan asked.  
“Yes, I think so. It could just be lapses in memory… I don’t think it’s anything serious.” Nathan said looking over to her as she slept.   
“I need to get some work done, I’ll pop by tomorrow, let me know if anything changes.” Ryan said to Horatio.   
“Certainly, Mr Wolfe” Horatio said giving him a nod.  
Ryan soon left and Horatio sat back down in the chair, Nathan doing the same. They finished their coffees, Nathan was quick to fall asleep. Horatio looked over Zoë for some time, just thinking to himself. 2 hours passed and Horatio was still in deep thought, thinking about everything. Zoë began to stir and she kicked the blanket off as she lifted the bottom of her top slightly to itch her stomach and then raised her arm and placed it over her head.   
Horatio watched her stomach move as she steadily inhaled and exhaled, seeing her stomach brought him back to the night before everything happened. When he gave her the necklace and the sensations they both experienced that night, he felt himself excite. He got up and walked into the bathroom and splashed his face with water to calm himself. He tried to think of other things to control himself. Once under control he sat back down beside her and watched her peaceful face tenderly.   
He saw how loose her joggers were, they were usually loose anyway, but they seemed extra loose this time. Her stomach wasn’t flat any longer, it actually seemed to cave in.  
He would give anything to feel her soft skin beneath his hands again, he’d give anything for her to remember that they were in a relationship, to hold her and kiss her again. She shifted again and put her right arm down by her side as her left rested across her exposed stomach. Horatio leaned forward once she settled again and gently placed his hand in hers and rested his arm on the bed, putting his head on his arm. He quickly fell asleep. He was woken a few hours later as Zoë became restless again and rolled onto her side, closer to Horatio. He sat up and watched her move a little, then began to tenderly stroke her arm. He took her hand in his as she relaxed a little more. He leant back over the bed and her scent sent him right back to sleep. During the night she had rolled back onto her back but Horatio didn’t wake.  
Nathan woke when the sun shone through the blinds and saw Horatio slumped over Zoë’s bed, fast asleep. He thought it was best to leave him to sleep a little longer. Nathan quickly went home and came back.  
Zoë stirred and lifted her left knee as she raised both of her arms up on the pillow, above her head. She turned her head to the side away from the bright light coming through the blinds. Her leg slowly slid back down.  
Alexx and Ryan popped by to check up on her and saw her sprawled out comfortably and Horatio slumped over the bed.   
“Do you know how they’re getting on?” Alexx asked Ryan.   
“They’re okay, Zoë said she doesn’t remember anything from the last 3-4 months, so I don’t know if she knows they were in a relationship.” Ryan said quietly. Alexx exhaled, feeling sorry for the both of them. She thought it must be ripping Horatio’s heart out, first he thought he’d lost her, now he doesn’t know whether she’s going to remember them together, or if she’s going to return to her normal self. Ryan had explained to Alexx that she wasn’t herself. Nathan came back in to check up on her and informed them both about her progress and current state. They both had to get off to work very soon after that, but they were happy to see her comfortable. Alexx wasn’t too concerned about her weight loss, she knew that a lot of people did lose weight while in hospital and knew that Zoë was very healthy and active and would soon put it back on.   
Nathan checked her over and then pulled her top back down, then pulled the blanket back over her. Horatio began to stir and sat up sleepily with a back ache. He stretched his back and then got up to walk over to the window.   
“Nathan, I need to go and get some more clothes, will you keep a close eye on her please?” Horatio asked turning around.   
“Of course Horatio” Nathan said writing a few things down. Horatio took his jacket off and placed it on the bed beside her, in case she woke.   
“If she wakes, tell her that I’ll be right back.” Horatio said looking over at her.   
“Certainly” Nathan said putting her notes down. Horatio quickly left and drove home to shower, change, eat and pick up some more clothes. Nathan kept an eye on Zoë but had to go out to quickly check up on a patient.


	14. Chapter 14

Zoë kicked the blanket off again and began to stir, she pulled her legs up again and covered her eyes with her right arm. Her legs began to slowly fall to the side as she fell back into a deep sleep again.   
Nathan came back in and picked the blanket up off the floor and got a new one out of the cupboard and placed it on the end of her bed.   
He sat down with some paperwork and began to fill out some forms as Horatio walked back in.   
“Did she wake?” Horatio asked, seeing that she had moved.   
“No, just moved.” Nathan said looking up at Horatio. Horatio sat down after taking his jacket off the bed and putting it over the chair.   
He rested his head back against the chair and lost himself in his thoughts again. 20 minutes later they both looked over to Zoë as she let out some small moans and shifted in the bed again. Her breathing accelerated slightly. Nathan got up and gently took her pulse.   
“Pulse is slightly high; she’s probably just having a bad dream.” Nathan said.  
Zoë woke up and sat up, breathing heavily. She put her right hand to her head and looked down.   
“Where’s Ryan?” She asked looking up frantically.   
“He’s at work sweetheart.” Horatio said confused.   
“Is he okay?” She asked him as he stood up and said “yes, he’s okay.” Horatio reassured her.  
“Are you sure he’s okay?” She asked looking up at Horatio with a worried expression.   
“Yes, I’m positive, there’s no need to worry.” Horatio said as he lightly placed his hand on her shoulder. Nathan stood up and gently gave her arm a rub in an effort to comfort her.  
“What did you see?” Horatio asked as she looked up into his eyes.   
“We… we were in a car and we crashed, Ryan was unconscious and bleeding.” She said shaking her head, wanting to forget what she saw.   
“Okay sweetheart. It’s okay.” Horatio said softly, wishing that she didn’t have to relive the crash they had, it shook her up the first time around.   
“You were there Horatio, and Ryan was hurt badly.” She said looking up at him with worry in her eyes. The both of them knew that she had relived the crash, but neither wanted to tell her that it really happened.  
“It’s okay sweetheart, it’s over now.” Horatio said softly as he threaded his hand through her hair and placed his palm on her cheek. She began to calm down slightly.   
“Okay?” Nathan asked her. She nodded her head a little.   
“Are you sure Ryan’s okay? It felt real.” Zoë said still worrying about him.   
“I’m absolutely sure sweetheart, there’s nothing to worry about.” Horatio said calmly with a soft smile, reassuring her. She nodded at him, then crossed her legs and sat up straight, stretching her back.   
She looked back at Horatio, still worrying about Ryan.   
“I’ll give him a call and ask him to pop by when he’s got some time, okay?” Horatio said softly and Zoë nodded at him.  
“I’ll be right back then.” Horatio said as he got up and left to ring Ryan.   
“Mr Wolfe?” Horatio asked when Ryan answered the phone.   
“H, is everything okay?” Ryan asked.   
“Yes, everything’s okay. She’s just had a bad dream and saw the crash you were both in, she’s convinced that you’re hurt. I’d appreciate it if you could pop by when you’ve got some time, just to put her mind to rest.”  
“Okay H, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes.” Ryan said.   
“Mr Wolfe, she doesn’t know it really happened yet, I think she’s a little too vulnerable to know it happened.” Horatio said softly and quietly.  
“Okay H. I’ll bare that in mind, thanks.” Ryan said as he got into his hummer.   
“Thank you Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said as they hung up. Horatio walked back into her room and she looked over at him intensely.   
“He’ll be here soon. Just don’t worry about it, okay?” Horatio said with a reassuring smile as he stood by her and looked her in the eye to tell her silently that it was okay.   
“It just felt so real.” She said looking up at him.   
“I know sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as she looked over at the table and saw her badge and ID. She focused on it and then reached out and picked them both up.   
“Do you want some water, Zoë?” Nathan questioned, seeing her moisten her lips. She looked back round to him and gave him a small shy nod and he walked out and got her some fresh water, he quickly returned and put the water on the side, when he saw her staring at her badge again.  
“Are these mine?” She said studying them.   
“Yes.” Horatio said with a small smile, watching her run her fingertips over the badge.   
“Can I go back to work soon?” She asked Nathan.   
Nathan got up from sitting down and smiled at her.   
“Not just yet, sweet.” Nathan said as he glanced up at Horatio.   
“But I feel fine.” Zoë said looking at him.   
“Nothing ever changes, does it?” He said with a cheeky smile. “You’ve got some recovery to go yet.” Nathan said looking down at her caringly. ‘I hope she’s going to recover further, anyway.’ He thought to himself.  
“But–” Zoë began but was cut off by Nathan.   
“But nothing, doctors orders.” He said giving her a smile.   
“Nathan… I feel fine though.” She said looking up at him, arching her eyebrows.   
“You can Nathan me all you want; I’m not letting you back to work yet.” Nathan said crossing his arms.   
“Well, when can I go home then?” Zoë asked crossing her arms, copying him.   
“When I decide that you’re well enough to leave.” Nathan said, raising his eyebrow at her copying him.   
“What do I have to do to prove that I’m well enough to leave?” Zoë asked as Nathan uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on his hips and she copied him again. Seeing her mess around with Nathan brought a smile to Horatio’s face.  
“Stop copying me for a start.” Nathan said with a smile, knowing that she was doing it to try and annoy him and make him give in to her.   
“I’m not copying you, I’m just moving… I still have free will, don’t I?” She said looking up at him with raised eyebrows.  
“Yes you do and you’re still just as cheeky as ever.” Nathan said dropping his arms to his side as Zoë copied him.   
“Doesn’t that prove that I’m well enough then?” She asked, Nathan caught onto what she was doing. A wide smile was plastered across Horatio’s face as he watched Zoë taunt Nathan, just like she always did. Nathan exhaled, she had cornered him.   
“I need to make sure, Zoë.” He said raising his eyebrows. “Look, if you’re well today, I’ll think about letting you go tomorrow, okay?” Nathan asked.   
She nodded at him and then looked round to Horatio. She saw him smiling.   
“Well, you’ve still got it.” Horatio said with a smile as she looked up at him almost looking innocent, not really understanding what he meant by his comment.   
She shivered, as she got goose bumps.   
“Are you cold?” Nathan asked as he unfolded the new blanket.   
“No, that blanket is too hot. My arms are just a little cold, that’s all.” Zoë said, stopping him from unfolding it anymore.   
“Do you want my jacket?” Horatio offered.   
“Oh no thank you Horatio, I’ll survive.” She said shyly.   
“I insist, you’re cold and I’ve got a shirt on anyway.” Horatio said taking his jacket off.   
“Horatio you don’t need–” He had already put it over her shoulders.   
“Thank you.” She said softly and then put her arms through the arm holes. She pulled the tie out of her hair and let her hair fall down her back. Horatio smiled at the size of his jacket on her, Nathan glanced up a few times from his paperwork. She looked back round to the cup of water Nathan had just got her and reached out for it, misjudging the distance and knocked it over. Nathan looked around when he heard the cup fall and saw Zoë getting stressed.   
“It’s okay sweet, take a deep breath for me.” Nathan said as he stood up and placed his hand on her leg. She looked over to him and took a deep breath.  
“It’s nothing to worry about, okay?” Nathan said softly as he gently rubbed her leg and she nodded at him, listening to his soothing voice.  
Zoë could smell Horatio’s scent, it seemed to calm her, she took a deep breath and let the aroma engulf her. Horatio smiled seeing her relax.   
She then closed her eyes tightly, remembering her dream again; Horatio’s scent had reminded her about the dream. She looked back up at him, tense.  
“Is Ryan okay?” She asked, remembering the bad dream. Nathan quickly pulled some tissue from a roll that sat on the side and soaked up the water.  
“He’s probably on his way here now, don’t worry sweetheart.” Horatio said reassuring her. She gave him a nod as she looked down and played with the sleeve of his jacket.   
“Zoë, he’s okay.” Horatio said placing his hand on her shoulder and then Ryan walked through the door. She looked up at the door and saw Ryan walking over towards her. She let out a sigh of relief as her eyes softened on him.   
“Ryan.” She said relieved.   
“Hey, what’s all this then?” Ryan said sweetly to her as he stepped close to the bed.   
“It was so real… I thought… I thought–” She cut herself off as she looked down at Horatio’s sleeve.   
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m good, I’m fine.” Ryan said as he gently rubbed her forearm with a smile reassuring her. She looked back up into his caring eyes.   
“It’s okay.” He said reassuring her as he placed his hand on her cheek. She nodded, now believing him. She took a deep breath and Ryan dropped his hand from her face.   
“Are you going to be okay?” Ryan asked as he placed his hand on her shoulder.   
“Yes, thank you.” She said with a small nod. He gave her a nod and a small smile.   
“I’ve got to get back to the lab now; I’ll pop by again later though, okay?” Ryan said softly as he gently brushed her neck with his thumb. She looked up into his eyes again.   
“I’m okay and I’ll come back later, okay?” Ryan said as he placed his hand back against her head, threading his fingers through her silky soft hair.   
“Okay.” She said as she nodded. Ryan gently pulled his hand away and backed off with a smile, he left after Zoë gave him another nod.   
She looked back round to Horatio, and looked into his eyes. He could see that she was still uneasy.   
“He’ll be fine sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand on her face and threaded his fingers through her hair and lightly swept his thumb over her temple a few times. She held his gaze and then nodded at him, when she began to believe him. Nathan got up from doing his paperwork.   
“Zoë, what you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal, okay? There’s going to be times where you’re going to feel worried, or where you’re going to feel happy or un-happy for no reason, it comes with the trauma you’ve had, okay sweet.” Nathan said softly as she looked around to him and Horatio dropped his hand to her shoulder. She nodded at him, understanding.   
“Is there anything I can get you?” Nathan asked softly. “Food? A drink?” Nathan added.   
“A cup of tea would go nicely right now.” She said raising her eyebrows.   
“You’ve got it.” Nathan said with a calm smile. He looked up at Horatio and Horatio shook his head. Nathan gave him a nod and he quickly disappeared.   
“Don’t worry beautiful.” Horatio said without thinking, he didn’t even realise what he said. She looked up at him confused; she’d never heard him call her that before.   
“What’s wrong?” Horatio asked seeing the confusion in her eyes. She searched his eyes and then shook her head, thinking she’d misheard him.   
“Nothing” she said and shook her head. She pulled the jacket tighter around her and began playing with his sleeve again. Horatio then realised why she was confused. He dropped his hand from her shoulder and made a mental note to think before he speaks again. She watched him pull his sleeves back down when she reached out and took a hold of his hand. He looked at her confused. She pulled it closer to her and then with her left pulled his sleeve up, seeing the red scar around his wrist.   
“What?” She questioned to herself as she studied the blemish from where the cuffs had left slight scars around his wrists. She gently let go of his left hand and then reached over for his right, she pulled the sleeve up again, he let her do it because there was no point in hiding it now, she’d already seen it. She gently turned his hand over and looked at the underside of his wrist then turned it back down again. Nathan walked back with the tea, she didn’t even realise.   
“Horatio, what happened?” She asked confused. “How did you get these?” She lightly traced the scars with her thumbs. “You didn’t have these before?” She questioned looking up into his eyes. Nathan didn’t say a word, as he placed her cup of tea on the side. He quickly walked back out and left them to it. She turned his hand again and looked back down at his wrist as her fingertips lightly brushed over the palm of his hand. She looked back up at him.   
“Zoë, I’ll tell you everything when you’re out of here, okay?” Horatio said softly as she looked at her hand, which was almost completely healed now, she also had scars. She picked up his other hand again.   
“Horatio, it looks like you were bound, what happened?” She asked again.   
“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to worry, but we’ll talk about it when you’re out of here.” He said holding her gaze.   
“Okay.” She said simply, letting his hand go gently. Horatio was surprised about how easily she let him win.   
“Did Nathan come in?” Zoë said noticing the tea on the side.   
“Yes, I think he had another patient to attend to.” Horatio said softly.   
“I didn’t even see him.” Zoë said confused.   
“That’s because you were too busy interrogating me…” Horatio said with a boyish grin. She looked back around to him and studied his grin as she looked up at him sweetly.   
“He’s such an angel.” Zoë said as she reached for the tea.  
“Hold on sweetheart, I’ll get it.” Horatio said softly as he rushed around and handed it to her.   
“Thank you, did you not want one?” Zoë asked as she held the tea in both hands and looked up at him. Then let go of it with one hand and held it by the handle as it was hot.   
“No.” Horatio said with a small smile, tilting his head. Zoë went to take a sip of the hot tea.   
“Don’t drink that just yet.” Horatio said just before she took the sip. She looked up at him confused.   
“It’s steaming hot; you’ll burn your mouth.” Horatio said, not understanding why she wouldn’t realise it. He knew she liked to let it cool down a lot, just so it’s between hot and warm, not steaming hot. She looked down at the tea.   
“Thanks.” She said realising he was right.   
“Why don’t you put it down for a little while?” Horatio cautiously suggested as he reached out for the cup. She nodded and handed it to him and he placed it on the side. She swung her legs over the side.   
“What are you doing?” Horatio said as he quickly rushed around to the other side of the bed.   
“Going to the loo” She said as she looked at him curiously.   
“Go carefully.” Horatio said as she hopped off the bed. “Carefully” he repeated again. She looked down at the floor as she began to lean to the side.   
“Zoë?” Horatio asked as he grabbed her, he placed his right hand under her left arm and left hand around her waist, pulling her into him.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio said as Zoë lifted her head.   
“Sorry, I just got up a little too quickly.” She said softly as she got her balance back.  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Horatio asked.   
“Yes.” She said reassuring him.   
“Okay, shout if you need anything. Don’t lock that door.” Horatio said as he slowly let go of her.   
“Will do” Zoë said giving him a nod, she walked into the en-suite and shut the door.   
She came back out after drying her hands and brushing her teeth.   
She walked over to the bed before stopping, thinking to herself.   
“Shit.” She muttered under her breath. “Sorry Horatio.” She said as she realised he’d just heard her cursing.   
“What’s wrong?” Horatio asked.   
“Erm… where’s my hand bag?” She asked. He picked it up from under the bed and handed it to her. She placed it on the bed and began to look through it. She picked up a packet of tablets and looked at them in her bag, not letting Horatio see what she was looking at.   
“Damn it.” She muttered quietly as she dropped them. ‘Well, that’s going to cock up my cycle.’ She thought to herself.  
“What’s wrong?” Horatio asked, growing concerned.   
“Nothing, don’t worry.” She said as she placed her handbag on the side.   
She sat on the bed and crossed her legs as she ran her hand through her hair and pushed her fringe back.   
“Sweetheart, I know something’s wrong, you can talk to me.” Horatio said caringly, giving her a smile.   
“I know, it’s nothing, don’t worry. Do you know where my phone is?” She said, realising that it wasn’t in her bag.   
“Your phone’s broken.” Horatio said as she looked up at him.   
“It’s broken?” Zoë repeated and Horatio nodded at her. She dropped her head back and exhaled.   
“You can borrow mine if you need to?” Horatio said softly.   
“No thank you, it’s okay.” She said feeling quite agitated, but looking at him sweetly.   
Nathan walked back in and saw that she was stressed.   
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked, looking at her then glancing over to Horatio.   
“Yes, I’m fine.” Zoë said looking at him as she sat back up and reached for the tea, but before she reached it, Horatio had picked it up and handed it to her.   
“What’s bothering you?” Nathan asked softly.   
“Nothing, I’m fine.” She said trying to keep calm; they could both see that she was stressed.   
“Okay sweet.” Nathan said backing off, giving her the space she needed. Horatio did the same.   
She cooled herself off and finished the cup of tea and placed it back on the table, close to the edge.   
“Thank you Nathan.” She said tiredly.   
“Not a problem, try and get some sleep sweet.” Nathan said softly as Zoë gave him a nod and laid back. Horatio got up and walked over to the window and looked out as Nathan began to do some more paperwork.  
Zoë fell asleep almost instantly, once she was fully asleep Horatio sat back down and rested himself, again thinking about everything. Zoë shifted in her sleep a few times. 3 hours later she woke up again. She rubbed her eyes and sat up.   
Nathan was still sat there doing his paperwork, while Horatio looked over at her.   
“You must be bored out of your mind.” She said looking over at him.   
“No, I quite like the relaxation actually.” Horatio said softly, giving her a smile.   
“And you must be begging for relaxation…” Zoë said looking over at Nathan.   
“You read my mind.” He said with a smile, looking up at her. She swung her legs over the side of the bed.   
“Where do you think you’re going?” Nathan asked as he watched her, raising his eyebrow.  
“To the loo” She said getting defensive.   
“Just checking, go slowly, okay? And don’t lock that door.” Nathan said as he looked up at her with the paperwork still resting on his leg.   
“Okay.” She said as she got off the bed. “See.” She said as she looked over to him again. She walked into the en-suite and closed the door.   
Nathan got back to work, but kept and ear out for her while Horatio texted Alexx asking her to get some more clothes for Zoë, as he knew she’d want another shower later.   
She returned from the bathroom and sat on the bed, crossing her legs again.   
Horatio and Zoë chatted a little while Nathan was absorbed in the paperwork. 10 minutes later Zoë’s face began to flush red.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio asked noticing this. Nathan looked up hearing the concern in Horatio’s voice. He looked over at Zoë who was just taking the jacket off.  
“Just a little hot, that’s all. Thank you Horatio.” She said as she placed the jacket on the bed in front of Horatio.   
“Not a problem.” He said with a smile. Nathan went back to doing paperwork and then got a page to attend another patient, he left after excusing himself.   
Zoë leant back, thinking the bed was still up and then fell back. Horatio instantly rose to his feet thinking she’d passed out. She began to laugh a little as he leant over and placed his hand on her arm.   
“Sorry, I thought the bed was still up.” She said as she looked over at him with one of her brilliant smiles. Horatio smiled at her, relaxing, realising that she was actually alright. He melted seeing her brilliant wide smile for the first time in 3 weeks and melted even more hearing her laugh. He had begun to believe that he wouldn’t hear her laugh again as she’d only smiled once since recognising them.  
She uncrossed her legs and kept them bent at the knees as a sudden wave of tiredness hit her.   
Horatio could see she was tired.   
“Get some rest.” He said with a smile. She nodded at him and he went and sat back down. He wasn’t sure whether he preferred it when she fought with him over things like that or just gave in to him.   
Things were a lot simpler when she just gave in, but it just wasn’t her. Part of him wished that she’d at least argue a little, even though it stresses him out.   
Before he knew it, she was asleep. Her legs slowly fell to the side as she completely relaxed.   
Nathan came back in some time later and then Alexx popped over around 5pm. Zoë began to wake just as she went to leave. She stretched a little and rubbed her eyes. Alexx stopped and turned around, she’d not seen Zoë awake yet. A smile appeared across her face as Zoë began to sit up. Zoë’s eyes connected with Alexx’s as she walked over to her bed.   
“Hey you, how are you feeling?” She asked as she placed her hand on Zoë’s arm. Zoë looked at her for a few seconds.   
“Zoë?” Alexx asked, concerned. Zoë’s brain caught up with the situation and she blinked, focusing on Alexx.  
“Sorry.” Zoë said as she blinked a few more times. “Alexx” She said addressing her, realising who it was.   
“Don’t worry about it honey, how are you feeling?” Alexx asked softly stroking her arm.   
“I’m good thanks.” She replied.   
“Good, it’s good to see you.” Alexx said with a wide smile as she looked into Zoë’s eyes, still picturing Zoë on her table.   
“It’s good to see you too… are you okay?” Zoë asked as casual conversation, she didn’t see the upset and stress on Alexx’s face though.   
“Me? Yeah, I’m good honey.” Alexx replied with a smile.   
“What’s wrong?” Zoë said, seeing her eyes almost well up with tears. Alexx could see Zoë on her table clearly and was trying to push it to the back of her mind. She glanced over at Horatio who shook his head at her. She looked back at Zoë and stroked her arm.   
“Nothing honey, it’s just really good to see you up and well.” She said with a big smile. Zoë gave her a nod as she tilted her head.   
“I need to go, I’ve got something on, but I’ll see you very soon, okay?” Alexx said trying to excuse herself from the situation.   
“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Zoë said as she studied Alexx’s face, not quite understanding the expression.   
“I’ll see you later baby.” Alexx said as she picked up her handbag and quickly left.   
“I’ll be back in a moment Zoë.” Horatio said as he went after Alexx, seeing the amount of distress she was in.  
Zoë looked at Nathan confused. “Don’t look at me, I don’t know what’s just gone on.” Nathan said, not wanting to be dragged into it.   
While outside Horatio had stopped Alexx.   
“Alexx…” Horatio said as she turned around to look at him.   
“Horatio, I can’t… she was on my table, I very nearly cut her open. I can’t get that out of my head, I can’t ever forgive myself, I should have checked. I performed an autopsy on her!” Alexx said distressed.   
“You can’t blame yourself, we all thought she… but something remarkable happened and she’s here now. Right now, she needs support. She’ll understand Alexx. It wasn’t your fault, it’s not your obligation to check, you don’t even have an ECG monitor down there, you weren’t to know.” Horatio said trying to calm a very distressed Alexx, he’d never seen her so distressed before, in all the time they had known each other. “She needs you to forgive yourself and be there for her when she needs it.” Horatio said softly. Alexx took a deep breath and nodded.   
“It’s okay.” Horatio said as he pulled her in and gave her a gentle hug with one arm.   
“Thank you Horatio.” Alexx said as they pulled out of the hug.   
“Stay strong, I know you can do it.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
Alexx nodded at him with a small smile. She took a breath and turned around to walk out to go home, trying to keep herself calm.   
Horatio walked back into the room with a small smile.  
“Horatio, is she okay? Was it something I said?” Zoë asked concerned, not understanding the situation.   
“She’s fine Zoë, it’s okay. No it wasn’t anything you said, don’t worry.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
“Horatio, I know you’re not telling me something.” Zoë said focussing on his eyes.   
“She’s really just happy to see you up and well after so long.” Horatio said to her, she looked at him for a while and then nodded.   
Nathan excused himself to do his last rounds.   
Zoë looked at the clean clothes that were at the end of her bed and thought to herself. He knew what she was thinking.   
“You wait until Nathan gets back.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
She looked around at him, surprised that he knew what she was thinking.   
“I know you Zoë.” He said with a boyish grin as she looked at him surprised.   
Her eyes softened on him as she gave him a small smile. He smiled again seeing her smile at him. He felt butterflies in his stomach, just from seeing her smile.   
“Nathan could be some time though.” Zoë argued.   
“Then you’re going to have to wait for some time. Unless you want me picking you up off the floor if something was to happen?” Horatio said with a smile at her.  
She nodded and looked down at the bed. ‘She was once one of the most sarcastic people I’ve ever met, yet now she doesn’t even see it in conversation?’ Horatio questioned to himself.   
‘Stop complaining, she’s alive, that’s all that matters.’ Horatio thought, feeling like he was taking her for granted.  
Zoë laid back down as she exhaled and uncrossed her legs. She began to play with her cast.  
“You must be as bored as I am.” Zoë said as she turned her head and looked over at him.   
“Not quite.” Horatio said with a small smile as Zoë sat back up again.   
“How long have I been here for again?” Zoë asked looking at him.   
“Just over 3 weeks” Horatio said to her.   
“Oh Lord, imagine what state the fridge and cupboards are in.” She said shaking her head.   
“Don’t worry; we’ll sort it out when you get back.” Horatio said calmly.   
Zoë took a deep breath and then exhaled; she looked over at the window and then got herself off the bed.   
“Zoë…” Horatio said, warning her to get back into the bed.  
“Horatio, I just want to look out of the window, I can’t be bound to the bed 24/7.” She said as she turned around and looked at him a little stressed, not wanting to be ordered around.   
Horatio got up and walked over to the window and stood by her, keeping a close eye on her.   
“Why did you park right in the middle of the car park? That’s a little awkward, isn’t it? You could have parked at the front.” She said looking down at his car. Horatio chuckled a little.   
“There were no more spaces.” Horatio said with a wide smile.  
“Could have pulled out the Lieutenant badge?” She said as she turned her head, looking at him seriously.   
“You know it doesn’t work that way.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
Horatio had gotten his windows repaired after they were shot through and smashed.   
“Actual daylight, it’s a good thing to see once in a while.” She said looking up at the blue sky. Horatio chuckled a little as he looked up at the sky too.   
“You don’t have to supervise me you know.” She said looking out of the window.  
“I’m not supervising you.” Horatio said as he watched the people below walk around.   
“Then why do I feel like you’re waiting for me to pass out or something?” She asked looking at him.  
“I’m not waiting for you to pass out; I’m standing here because I like the view…” Horatio said with a small smile as he looked down at the floor.   
“The view… of a car park… right.” She said as she looked back out again. Horatio knew she was trying to be sarcastic, but she wasn’t quite grasping it yet.  
He looked up at her with a small smile. “There’s not just a car park…” Horatio said trying to explain himself.   
“I know, I’m just messing with you.” Zoë explained, knowing she wasn’t getting her message across too well. Horatio shook his head with a beaming smile as he looked down. He missed the way she’d mess with him or others, he was also really missing how she’d call him handsome, or honey or any other nickname. He knew that was one thing Ryan was missing too.   
He missed the little things she’d do like bite her lip gently or flick her hair out of her face. He completely missed her smile and laugh or the way she’d make bodily contact with him while she spoke. But she was stood about a meter away from him and looked uncomfortable when he was any closer. Even the way she stood was different.   
He missed her argumentative side, although, perhaps a little less argumentative was best for everyone. As he thought that a smile grew across his face as he remembered how she’d fight back, because they were both equally as stubborn.   
“What are you thinking about?” Zoë said as she looked at the smile on his face.   
“Nothing” Horatio said as he then thought about how hands on she used to be, but now there was no bodily contact. Even just asking what he’s thinking about she’d probably place her gentle hand on his arm.   
Zoë looked at him curiously, she didn’t have a clue what was running through his head, she looked back outside. Horatio thought that she let things go a lot easier, usually she’d ask him again and force it out of him. He remembered how reserved she was around Alexx, usually they’d hug or something, but she didn’t even touch Alexx back.   
He scolded himself for thinking about all of that and was just so thankful that she was alive and well, but he still couldn’t help but miss his Zoë.   
“Back with me yet?” She asked looking over at him with soft eyes.   
“Yes, sorry.” Horatio said with a smile.  
“You don’t need to apologise, I was just wondering if you were still thinking.” She crossed her arms and looked back out the window, feeling exhausted already.   
“Come and sit down.” Horatio said softly seeing her exhaustion.   
“I’m alright.” She said getting defensive again.   
“I didn’t say you weren’t.” Horatio said, catching her at her own game. She relaxed and her eyes softened on him. She then gave him a nod and sat down on the edge of the bed.   
“How have you coped with being here for so long and not torn your hair out yet? I need to go for a run or something.” Zoë said, feeling very bored.   
“It’s been nice to have some relaxation time, and I don’t suggest the run.” Horatio said with a small smile softly looking at her.   
“I need to do some exercise, look at me, I’m scrawny… it’s just bone and skin” She said looking down at herself almost disgusted.  
“I may not remember the previous 3-4 months, but I’m sure that I wouldn’t have let myself lose all of this muscle…” She said looking at how tiny her arms were.   
“You build muscle quicker than you lose it, don’t worry about it.” Horatio said with a smile at her.  
Nathan walked in with 3 cups of steaming drinks. He handed Horatio a coffee.  
“Thank you Nathan.” Zoë said as he handed her a cup. Both Nathan and Horatio held the cups in their hands while Zoë went to sip it.  
“Zoë, what did I say earlier, leave it a little while. You’ll burn your mouth.” Horatio said worried as he placed his cup on the side.   
“Yeah, sorry” Zoë said as she placed hers on the side.   
“Can I have a shower now? Please?” She asked Nathan.   
“Okay, just don’t lock the door.” Nathan said with a small smile as he sat back in the chair, finally getting some rest.  
Zoë walked around Horatio and picked up the clean clothes at the end of the bed, she walked into the en-suite and shut the door.  
Horatio and Nathan spoke a little, with Nathan calling out to Zoë every now and then, just to make sure that she was okay.  
They both heard a sound; it sounded like two bottles had fallen and hit the ground.   
“Zoë are you okay?” Nathan called, but he had no response from her. He got up and walked over to the door.   
“Zoë? Are you okay?” Nathan called louder.


	15. Chapter 15

“Sorry, I just dropped the bottles.” Zoë called from in the shower.  
“Okay.” Nathan said as he leant against the wall.  
They heard the shower turn off and she dried herself and then began to get dressed.  
“Do you want a hand?” Nathan asked.  
“No, I’m fine, thank you.” Zoë called, wanting to try it herself this time. She picked up her bra and tried to put it on and then sighed. She threw it on the side and put her head in her hands, keeping herself calm.   
“Zoë, are you sure you don’t want a hand?” Nathan questioned.   
“I’m fine.” She said, getting stressed.   
“Zoë, I know you’re stressed, I can give you a hand, it’s okay.” Nathan said softly.  
“No, I’m fine.” They both heard the agitation in her voice and then the flick of the lock.  
“Zoë, don’t lock the door, I need you to unlock it now.”   
“I’m fine Nathan.” She said through the door as she picked up the bra again. ‘It’s simple, don’t be such an idiot.’ She thought to herself.   
“Zoë, unlock the door please.” Nathan called again.  
“No.” She said as she tried to concentrate on putting her bra on. Nathan sighed loudly as he looked round to Horatio. He heard Zoë let out another small distressed cry.  
“I need you to open the door now Zoë.” Nathan said firmly.  
“No.” She said, only getting more stressed. Nathan quickly realised he wasn’t helping the situation at all.   
“Horatio, could you try please?” Nathan asked quietly and he nodded at him.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to unlock the door please.” Horatio called smoothly, he heard her exhale.   
“Sweetheart, please open the door.” Horatio asked calmly.   
“Don’t come in though.” She asked softly.   
“We won’t if you don’t want us to.” Horatio said softly.   
“Do you promise?” She questioned and Horatio swallowed.  
“We promise.” He said, remembering the last promise that he broke. They heard the door unlock and both sighed with relief.   
“Thank you Zoë.” Horatio said softly. She felt calmer in herself and went to try and put her bra on again and was successful. She quickly put her top on, feeling better already.   
She looked down at her joggers falling down and didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of either of them. ‘I’ll just leave them.’ She thought to herself, knowing she couldn’t do them up.   
She brushed her teeth and then walked out after picking the clothes up off the floor.   
“Okay?” Nathan asked as she walked past him.   
“Yeah” She said as she placed the clothes folded on the end of the bed.   
“You wouldn’t happen to have a hair dryer would you?” Zoë asked.   
“No, I’m sorry, they’re not standard issue in hospitals.” Nathan said with a smile as they both watched her pull up the large joggers.  
“Okay.” She said as she sat back on the bed. Nathan walked over to the chair and sat back down.  
“So, I can go tomorrow?” Zoë asked looking at him.  
“I’ll decide that tomorrow when you wake up.” Nathan said with a small smile at her.   
“But I feel fine.” Zoë said looking at him, taking the cup of tea which was now cool enough to drink.  
“Well then, you’ve got nothing to worry about tomorrow.” Nathan said raising an eyebrow.  
Zoë turned to Horatio. “Do you know where my phone is?” Zoë questioned, looking over at Horatio.   
“Sweetheart, it’s broken.” Horatio said softly, looking slightly concerned, he gave Nathan a quick glance, letting him know that something was up.   
“It’s broken? How? Where is it?” She asked.   
“It’s back at the lab.” Horatio said, not really wanting to divulge how it was broken in the first place.  
“How did it break?” Zoë asked wondering if her insurance covered it.  
“Erm…” Horatio said trying to think of a way to get out of answering the question.   
“Horatio…” She said.   
“It was shot.” Horatio said looking up at her.   
“It was shot?” Zoë repeated, a little surprised, she just thought that she’d dropped it or something. Horatio nodded at her. “Well, I’m still going to try and get it replaced.” She said as she pulled her legs back up on the bed. She put the empty cup back on the side.  
“Try and get some rest, the more rest you get, the more likely I’ll let you home tomorrow.” Nathan said softly. She nodded at him and laid back on the bed, she pulled her knees up and began to rest, she placed her left arm up and over her head.   
“When can this cast come off?” She asked Nathan, looking over at him, getting annoyed with it.  
“In about 5 weeks now, maybe 6.” Nathan said. She exhaled and looked back up at the ceiling.   
They could both tell that she was a little stressed and slightly moody, so they didn’t really want to say anything that would make it any worse.   
She steadied her breathing out and began to relax, slowly falling asleep again as her legs slipped down the sheet and laid flat against the bed.  
Horatio lost himself in his thoughts again.  
“Nathan, she asked about her phone earlier and I told her, she had forgotten. Is that normal?” Horatio questioned.   
“Yes, she’s going to have memory loss, there’s going to be gaps here and there. It’s nothing to worry about.” Nathan said softly, reassuring Horatio. Horatio gave him a nod and a small smile. He then got back to doing paperwork while Horatio lost himself in thought again.   
Nathan soon fell asleep, dropping the pen on the floor. Horatio also fell asleep, watching Zoë sleep peacefully.   
They both woke the next morning as the sun came up, Zoë moaned as the light disturbed her and she covered her eyes with her right hand as she pulled up her left knee and turned her head away from the window. Nathan got up and quickly went home and came back to start his rounds. Zoë stirred a few times, but didn’t fully wake. Horatio studied Zoë and her frail body, he smiled every time she moved, it still seemed like he wasn’t really there, like none of this had ever happened. He felt like he had dreamt it all.   
‘Perhaps she’ll remember us when she gets home? She can’t just forget a relationship can she? Did it really mean much to her if she doesn’t remember any of it? I suppose if she doesn’t remember anything beyond 4 months ago, the relationship could be forgotten, couldn’t it? She must have loved me, she seemed genuine, you can’t fake what we had. I’d give anything in this world just to have her back. What do I do if she doesn’t remember, there’s nothing for me at home. I guess I’d just have to go back to working most of the time, there’s nothing else to fill my time. If she doesn’t remember, is there the possibility that she’d fall in love with me again? Why did this have to happen? I can’t live without her being there all the time, it just won’t be the same. I still love her even though she’s different, I can never not love her again, she’ll always be there in my heart even if she doesn’t know it, I just hope that in time she will know it and love me back.’ Horatio thought to himself as he watched her sleep.   
Nathan came back in after his rounds and sat down, giving himself a small rest. Roughly 9.55am Zoë began to wake, she stretched and rubbed her eyes. She looked around and got her surroundings again before sitting up.   
“Morning” Nathan said as he stood up and walked up to the bed.   
“Morning, can I go now?” Zoë asked impatiently.   
“Let me check you over, and then I’ll see.” Nathan said with a small smile. Zoë nodded at him and he began to assess her motor skills. Then he began to ask her all sorts of questions to assess her mental state. Things like her age, date of birth, address, her name and then other questions like math problems.   
“Okay, I think I’m going to let you go, you seem to be doing well enough. You still don’t have the memory from about 4 months ago, but it should come back to you in time. Now I need to warn you both that there may be some changes in your emotional state, you’re going to feel moody at times, but other times you’re going to be happy and other times you’re not going to be sure of what you’re feeling. You may not notice it Zoë, but those around you will. You’ll also find that you may get stressed a lot easier, so avoid stressful tasks if it’s possible. There’s been a few changes in your personality, again, you probably won’t notice, but those around you will and it’s nothing to worry about. It’s perfectly normal; however, I can’t tell you if you’re going to return back to your complete old self. You need to eat properly and only minimal exercise for the time being, absolutely no work at all for this first week and definitely no driving, you may find that you have some blackouts, they’re nothing to worry about. You’re going to need support with dealing with the stresses you’re going to come across and with the small things that you’re having some difficulty with. You do need to try and stay calm and relaxed, when you feel yourself getting stressed I suggest that you go and rest. You’re hand-eye coordination is still a little off, but again, that should return to normal in time. You may find that you’ll drop a few cups and glasses or knock them off the side, but it’s nothing to worry about. If you have any problems or worries, give me a ring or come straight back. I’ve made you an appointment to see me in a week to see how you’re doing, but don’t hesitate to come back before if you want to.” Nathan said to them, explaining everything to them.   
“Thank you Nathan.” Zoë said as she hopped off the bed and pulled her joggers up.  
“Did you just listen to everything I said?” Nathan questioned.   
“Yes I did.” Zoë said raising her eyebrows at him.   
“There is one other thing…” Nathan said as he laid gentle eyes on her and she turned to give him her attention.  
“Both of you need to listen.” He said, looking from Zoë to Horatio, then back.  
“Zoë, you suddenly crashed a few nights ago and arrested, I don’t know why, we’ve done some tests but nothing was showing up. Because we don’t know the cause, there is the possibility that it could happen again. Those around you will need to learn CPR, as a precaution.” Nathan as he looked over to Horatio.  
“I’m not saying it will happen, but I can’t rule it out.” Nathan said looking at the both of them. Zoë nodded.   
“I can give them CPR sessions, I have rescue Anne at home somewhere.” She said softly and Nathan gave them a nod.  
“You are not to do anything strenuous in case it’s a heart defect, I can’t chance you arresting while out for a jog on the beach.” Nathan said softly.  
“I understand.” Zoë said softly.   
“Okay.” Nathan said with a smile at her as she turned around and sorted her stuff out, she pulled the flat shoes out of her bag and put them on. Nathan looked over at Horatio while she sorted herself out and they exchanged silent words, Nathan told him to keep a close eye on her and to ring him at any time. Horatio gave him a nod as she turned around and looked at the both of them softly.   
They saw her pull up her joggers again.   
“Sweetheart, why don’t you tie them up? You won’t have to pull them up then.” Horatio said softly. She looked round to him and swallowed, they saw her eyes well.   
“It’s okay Zoë, don’t worry about it.” Nathan said softly. She turned back around with her back to them as her tears began to fall. Horatio was confused and distraught that he’d just upset her with a few words. He looked to Nathan for an answer.   
“Sweet it’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Nathan said softly as he slowly approached her.   
“I’m sorry.” She mumbled.   
“Don’t be sorry.” Nathan said. He placed his hands on her waist and turned her as she dropped her head forwards and covered her eyes with her hands, wiping the tears away.   
“Don’t worry about it, it’s really nothing to worry about.” Nathan said softly as he tied up her joggers, Horatio watched and realised why she was upset.   
“I’m sorry sweetheart; I didn’t mean to upset you.” Horatio said softly. She had finally dried her tears and glanced up at him, then looked at Nathan briefly before looking back down.   
“Thank you” she said quietly, trying to get her breathing under control. Horatio quickly realised what Nathan meant by her temperamental emotional state and stress levels. He felt really bad. Nathan stepped back.  
“I’ll be back with the wheelchair.” Nathan said as he disappeared, not giving her time to argue back.  
“I’m sorry sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, looking up at her, tilting his head.   
“Don’t worry, I’m sorry.” She said looking at him, not making much eye contact.   
Nathan walked back in with the wheelchair. Zoë stared at him.   
“Hospital procedure” he said with a smile at her, she sighed and nodded at him before getting in.  
They got outside and Nathan let Zoë get out, they said thank you and Nathan reminded them to call anytime and about the appointment in a week. Nathan gave them both a smile, absolutely astonished with Zoë’s recovery, ‘I really didn’t think she’d walk back out of this hospital, I really thought that she’d spend the rest of her life in the hospital if we didn’t lose her. Look at her, she’s walking and talking…’ Nathan thought to himself when he watched her walk. ‘She is different though, but she’s alive and out of the hospital, those small differences don’t matter.’ Nathan thought, admiring her strength.  
He walked back in, smiling to himself while Horatio and Zoë slowly walked back over to Horatio’s car. They reached the car park and walked between the parked cars, Horatio’s car was parked on the next row. Zoë began to walk towards it when Horatio grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled her back.  
“Zoë!” Horatio said raising his voice. She was slightly startled and completely confused. She looked around to him; she didn’t know why he’d suddenly stopped her.   
“There’s a car, you need to look out, you don’t want to end up back in there do you?” Horatio said as his heart raced in his chest.  
“Sorry Horatio.” She said as she looked back around at the passing car. His heart began to slow as he took a deep breath and calmed himself down.  
“It’s okay, just look out next time.” Horatio said softly, calming himself down.  
He still had a hold of her arm as they crossed and then got into his car.   
“Are you okay?” He asked a little concerned about what had just happened.   
“Yeah, I’m sorry Horatio.” She said looking around at him as she took hold of her seatbelt, she looked around to the other side and drew a blank. She began to get agitated with herself again for not being able to put her seatbelt on. ‘It’s a simple bloody task! What the hell is wrong with you?!’ She shouted at herself in her head. Horatio saw her confusion and agitation.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” Horatio said as he took the seatbelt from her hand. She looked up at him and swallowed, trying not to cry. ‘Why am I about to cry? For God sake! What is going on?’ She questioned herself as Horatio clicked her seatbelt into place.   
“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, it’s nothing to worry about okay? Just take a deep breath.” Horatio said softly. She took a deep breath and felt better.   
“Thank you.” She said looking up at him.   
“Do you think you’re well enough to pop to the shop?” Horatio asked as he put his seatbelt on.   
“Yes.” She said. “Can I ask a big favour please?” She asked shyly.  
“Go on.” Horatio said, as a smile appeared across his face, hearing her almost cheeky tone.   
“Can we pop by the lab so I can pick my phone up to get it replaced? Please?” She said, knowing it was a long shot.   
“Of course” Horatio said softly as he pulled out of the parking space and drove off.   
“Where too first?” Horatio asked as he pulled out of the car park.   
“The lab” she said. Horatio gave her a nod and they drove off to the lab, having a calm discussion about being out of the hospital. Zoë was thrilled to finally feel the sun on her skin again.   
They pulled up and parked outside of the lab. They both got out of the car and slowly walked in. As they walked in a huge grin beamed across Zoë’s face. Horatio grinned seeing her grin.  
“Feeling so much better already” she said as she looked around. They got in the lift, Horatio was happy that the evidence was all cleared away from her case as he had rang ahead. They stepped out of the elevator and Zoë’s grin widened even more. She saw Ryan in the lab as memories began to come back to her. Ryan looked up and walked over to them with a smile.   
“So you’re out now?” Ryan asked with a wide smile. Horatio’s smile hadn’t disappeared off his face since getting in the building as Zoë was smiling.  
“Yes, finally. Why are you here? It’s a Saturday?” Zoë said looking around again; they could see that her being there was doing her good.  
“We’re putting in more time at the lab.” Ryan said softly, not wanting her to ask why as they were still trying to find Ratner.  
They could see her thinking and remembering things. She said a few things, specific to some of the cases she worked, they knew she was remembering things again. But she still wasn’t 100% herself, she was stood about 2 meters away, when usually she didn’t mind how close they stood to her, she was still very reserved when it came to bodily contact or movement when it was usual for her to place her gentle hands on them, or stood so close that their shoulders were brushing together. She was just generally a very close person, but today she wasn’t. They saw the way she stood was still different, even the way she walked.   
“Can I have a look around? It’s helping me to remember.” She asked looking at Horatio.   
“Of course” He answered, ‘before she wouldn’t have asked, she would have just walked around like she owned the place.’ They both thought. As she walked around she could give them very specific details of cases she worked about 3-4 months ago. They were both very happy to see this. She saw Eric walk in and looked over to him.   
“Back to work already?” He grinned at her, subtly checking her out. But even Eric noticed that she’d lost a lot of weight.  
“Not quite yet.” She said to him. She looked back round to Ryan and then tilted her head at him and looked at him as if she was thinking again.   
“That dream I had…” She began to say but stopped. “That happened didn’t it?” She asked curiously studying Ryan. She didn’t seem particularly upset.  
“Yes it did, but we’re okay.” Ryan said hoping not to upset her.   
“I know we’re okay, why didn’t you tell me the other day?” She asked.   
“Because, you were distressed just about the dream, if we had told you it happened… we didn’t want to stress you out.” Ryan said softly.   
“Okay.” She said, understanding them, she’d do the same. She remembered the whole situation, but let it go as it was in the past and everything was okay.   
“Do you have my phone?” She asked, pulling herself from her thoughts.  
“I do, it’s in Horatio’s office, we put it there in case one of the techs picked it up as evidence.” Ryan said with a smile as he walked out with Zoë following along with Horatio.   
Horatio walked into his office first, followed by Ryan then Zoë. Horatio picked it up and hesitantly gave it to her, hoping it wouldn’t re-awaken memories of the kidnapping.  
She raised her eyebrows as she looked down at it.  
“We should probably get going then.” Horatio said softly, tilting his head at her.   
“That’s a good idea.” She replied. Horatio walked out followed by Zoë who was pulling the strings on her joggers tighter around her waist, to stop them from falling down.   
“Wait, Horatio… could I have a word please?” She asked softly, looking at him, stood in the doorway as Ryan held the door open.   
“Of course” Horatio said walking back into the office as she turned around. She looked at Ryan for a moment and he gave her a nod, knowing she wanted some privacy and closed the door behind him.  
“What’s the problem?” Horatio asked softly.  
“Erm…” She said, looking a little uneasy.  
“It’s okay sweetheart, just talk to me.” Horatio said softly, encouraging her.   
“I can’t… I need a little help with doing my joggers up, please? I can’t do it and they’re too loose.” She said a little embarrassed.   
“Of course sweetheart” Horatio said warmly as she let go of the draw strings with a shy expression.  
“Thank you.” She said still embarrassed. Horatio quickly did them up and gave her a reassuring smile.  
“Sweetheart, you can ask me anything and talk to me about anything. You don’t need to be embarrassed by any of it, okay?” Horatio said, looking at her with soft blue eyes. She nodded at him.  
“Thank you” she said a little shyly.   
“Come on then.” Horatio said giving her a smile as he gestured for the door. He opened it for her and she walked out, giving Ryan a shy look. He gave her a reassuring smile as he followed her after looking back to Horatio to make sure everything was okay.   
They got out into the hall as Horatio walked in front of her and Zoë stopped and looked towards the elevator.   
Horatio turned around not hearing her footsteps behind him any more as Ryan turned to her and stood next to her.   
“Zoë, are you okay?” Ryan asked softly. Horatio quickly walked back over to her.   
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Horatio asked as he tilted his head, giving her a caring look.  
“Yeah” she said as she began to remember the day she was shot. She envisioned it in her mind. She placed her right hand over the small scar made by the bullet, as she felt herself get shot again. They saw her stomach muscles tense as she clenched her jaw.   
Horatio gently placed his hand on her back. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Horatio reassured her, knowing that she was remembering that day. She took a deep breath and looked over at Horatio, breaking out of the daze.   
“I’m sorry; I guess I’m also remembering some of the bad things as well.” She said as she looked away over at the floor.   
“Don’t worry about it, you don’t need to apologise.” Horatio said softly. She looked around to Ryan.   
“Sorry, I’m fine.” She said, answering his question from about a minute and a half ago.   
They began to follow as Zoë made her way towards the lift.  
On their way out, she looked over at the locker room, and stopped again. Both of their hearts began to pound, they didn’t want her remembering that incident, or at least just yet, she didn’t need that stress on top of everything else she was going through and remembering.   
“Sweetheart, we should go.” Horatio said trying to get her attention.  
She ignored him or didn’t hear him in her intense concentration and began to walk over to the locker room.   
She walked in and they both closely followed her, she stood in the middle of the room looking around. She turned around to her locker and just stared at it, remembering the time when Jack pinned her against that locker. She looked down at the floor and remembered most of the day; from when Jack had her against the locker, to being in Horatio’s office then to being shot and suddenly being in the Everglades.   
“Sweetheart” Horatio said as he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. She instantly pulled away quickly and took a deep breath. Horatio realised what he had done, she was remembering being assaulted and then he just reached out and touched her from behind. He didn’t think.   
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t think.” Horatio said apologising.   
She turned around and looked up at him. “Don’t worry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I just wasn’t expecting it.” She said, trying to reassure him.  
“You have nothing to be sorry about, shall we get going?” Horatio asked, wanting to get her out of there as soon as he could. She nodded at him as she took a deep breath.  
Horatio began to walk out and Ryan stood to the side, allowing Zoë to pass, he placed his hand on her lower back as she passed and then let go and walked out behind her.   
She didn’t mind as she had remembered how close she was with Ryan; coming back to the lab had certainly helped her a lot, even though she’d remembered the bad things as well as the good. Horatio held the door open for her and she walked out followed by Ryan.  
Eric walked over, seeing them walk out.   
“Everything okay?” He asked looking at Zoë with caring eyes.   
“Yeah, thanks.” She said looking up at him. “Despite having the bad memories come back, I think I’m glad I did come back just to have the good memories back.” She said looking from each of them to the other.   
“If you ever want to talk… you know about the memory loss, I’m happy to listen.” Eric said softly, looking at her tenderly.   
“Thank you Eric.” She said sweetly.   
“I should get back to work.” Eric said with a smile.   
“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Zoë said as she looked away at some commotion caused by a suspect. Eric gave them all a nod and went back to work.   
“New phone?” Horatio said with a small smile, still wanting to get her out of there quickly.   
“Yes.” She said, they then proceeded to walked over to the lift as Zoë turned around and looked at Ryan sweetly.   
“Thank you, I’ll see you soon.”   
“I’ll see you soon; give me a ring if you need anything.” Ryan said as she turned around to get on the elevator as Horatio held the doors open for her.   
“Wait… what was your nick-name?” She said trying to recall what she’d call him. He raised an eyebrow at her.   
“Pretty boy… that’s it.” She said as she gave him a very small smile.   
“That’s still going to stick?” Ryan asked with a grin.   
“Yep” she simply said then turned and joined Horatio on the lift. A very big grin appeared across Ryan’s face and he walked into the lab.   
“You’re looking very happy.” Eric said grinning at him.   
“I think she’s coming back to us.” He smiled down at some evidence.   
“Good.” Eric said with a smile, happy to know that she’s okay.  
Horatio and Zoë got off the lift and walked out, they got into Horatio’s car.  
“Where is it you want to go?” Horatio asked as they put their seatbelts on.   
“Just down the road.” She replied as she glanced over at him.  
“You got it.” Horatio said as he ignited the engine and drove off.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio asked as he glanced over at her.   
“Yeah…” She said unsure herself.   
“Are you sure?” Horatio asked softly.   
“Yeah, it’s just weird; you know remembering things that I experienced.” She said softly. “To forget such big things, like being shot… or… and then to remember them again… I’m okay; I’ve just got to get my head around it.”   
“If you ever need to talk, I’ll always be there for you.” Horatio reiterated as he parked up outside the shop and then looked over at her as he put the handbrake on. She gave him a nod.   
“Erm, Horatio?” She questioned shyly.   
“Yes sweetheart?” Horatio replied.  
“Jack… Jack didn’t… He–” Zoë questioned but couldn’t get the words out, unsure of what really happened as it was still a little foggy.  
“No he didn’t sweetheart.” Horatio said cutting her off, knowing what she was asking. She nodded at him as she exhaled.   
“You wouldn’t happen to have any scissors, would you? I forgot to grab a pair at the lab.” She said looking over at him.   
“Sorry, I don’t.” Horatio said looking at her curiously. She held her wrist up. “They’re not the easiest things to get off.” She said gesturing to the hospital band. Horatio gave her a nod in understanding and then said “sorry” again.   
“Don’t worry about it.” Zoë said as she got out of the car along with Horatio.  
They walked into the shop.   
“Can I help you, ma’am?” One of the young male shop attendants asked almost immediately, completely ignoring Horatio, and checked her out.  
“Yes, I need a new phone, mine’s broken.”   
“Right this way ma’am.” The young man said as he continued to check her out. She didn’t even realise it, however Horatio had already clocked on to his behaviour.   
He took them over to the counter.   
“Are you on a contract?” He asked.   
“Yes, although, I’m not sure that the insurance covers the damage.” She said.   
He asked her a few more questioned to pull up her contract profile.   
“What is the damage?” He asked as he checked the screen over and then looked over at her. She pulled the phone out of her pocket. He saw the hole through it.   
“It was shot.” She said as she placed it on the counter. He stared at it, confused.   
“How?” He questioned.   
“With a gun…” Zoë replied, not really understanding that he was asking how a situation came around.   
“What’s someone doing shooting at a pretty woman like yourself?” The attendant said checking her out again, attempting a seductive smile.   
Horatio cleared his throat and placed his hands on his hips, showing his badge and gun. The young man stood up straight and looked back at the screen. Zoë looked over to Horatio curiously, not understanding the shop attendants sudden change of behaviour, she saw the difference, but couldn’t tell what signals his body language was giving off.   
“You’ve got full coverage; I’ll be right back with a replacement.” He said picking her phone up.   
“Thank you.” She replied. Zoë leaned on the counter and exhaled.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio questioned.   
“Yeah” she said looking over to him.  
He came back with a phone box in his hand.   
“There you go ma’am, I just need you to sign a few things.” He said, keeping himself in line, often looking down at Horatio’s badge.   
“Sure.” She said standing back up straight. He gave her a pen and put the form in front of her.   
“Wait, are you a cop?” The young man said, recognising her. She looked up at him.   
“Yes.” She said looking at him curiously.   
“I thought I recognised you, you’ve been on TV, haven’t you?” He asked.   
“Yes.” She simply said.   
“Awesome, you’re that really good CSI that’s like never wrong, how are you feeling? You were in hospital weren’t you?” He asked. Zoë gave him a slightly confused look and looked over at Horatio, wondering how a stranger would know that she was in hospital. Horatio just glared at him, he quickly looked down at his feet.  
Zoe then looked down at the piece of paper and red it.   
“Most people just sign.” He said watching her read it.   
“Yes, well I’m not most people.” She said getting a little agitated.   
“Okay, sorry.” He said backing off. She finished reading and put the pen to the paper.   
“Can you give us a minute please?” She said to him and he gave her a nod.   
She ran her hand through her hair.   
“Are you okay?” Horatio asked quietly and softly as he leaned in closer to her, for privacy.  
“Yeah… I know my signature, but I can’t seem to get my head around it.” She said looking up at him getting a little stressed.   
“Okay, just take a deep breath sweetheart, it’ll come to you.” Horatio said with calming eyes.   
She nodded at him then took that breath.   
She put the pen back to the paper and signed. She looked up at the young man and he came back over.   
“Thank you ma’am, there you go.” He said with a smile at her as he handed her the box.  
“Thank you.” She said as she took the box from him.   
“Have a nice day.” The young man said.   
“You too” she said as she turned around, Horatio followed her out. He glanced back at the shop attendant who’s eyes were firmly focused on Zoë walking out. Once he realised Horatio had clocked on to him he looked away.  
Horatio looked back around and sighed silently. He didn’t realise how much he missed her standing close to him. She’d always stand close to a select few – mainly him, Ryan and Eric every now and then. He hated that he was realising that there was so much more he was missing her because he realised that he didn’t fully appreciate the comforts before anything happened. He missed the contact she had with him and just hoped that it would soon return.   
They got back in to Horatio’s car and began to drive over to the supermarket.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio asked seeing her slightly agitated.   
“Yeah, just got a little frustrated, that’s all.” She said and then took another deep breath, calming herself further.   
“We can go straight back to yours if you want? I can do the shopping.” Horatio said softly.   
“No, it’s okay, thank you.” She said softly.   
‘Handsome’ Horatio thought to himself, missing her speech pattern. They pulled into the car park and parked up. They got out and again were parked in the middle.   
“I’m sure you can pull out the badge to get closer.” She said with as she closed the door. They walked around the car, again Zoë just walked out in to the path of a car before Horatio firmly pulled her back, almost yelling her name again.   
He waved the car passed and turned to Zoë.   
“That’s the second time today, you’ve got to look sweetheart. Are you sure you’re okay?” Horatio asked softly and concerned. She looked up at Horatio.  
“Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine.” She said looking slightly confused.   
“If that happens one more time, I’ve got to call Nathan.” Horatio said with concerned eyes.   
“I’m fine.” She said again.   
“Well don’t go walking in front of cars then.” Horatio said softly as his heart beat wildly.   
“I’m sorry.” She said looking up at him with raised eyebrows. Horatio gave her a nod and checked to see if any other cars were coming, he had a very loose hold of her wrist. They crossed and walked through the row of cars. Horatio grabbed a small trolley and walked in with Zoë.   
“You don’t have to do this you know.” She said sweetly to him.   
“I insist.” Horatio said softly. They walked round the supermarket picking up everything she needed. She paid at the till and they walked out. Horatio placed his arm out in front of her to stop her from crossing the road; she stopped in front of his arm and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He raised his eyebrows at her and she didn’t say anything. They crossed and walked over to his car.   
“I’ll put these in, why don’t you go and get in?” Horatio asked softly.   
“I’m not an invalid.” She said looking at him, getting agitated again.   
“I know sweetheart, I didn’t mean that. Nathan said you need to rest.” Horatio said trying to dig himself out of the hole. She looked at him for a few seconds and turned around and opened the passenger door and got in. She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself down, feeling her emotions swell inside, she stopped herself from crying as she focussed on the hospital band. Horatio finished putting the bags in the boot and shut it as he took the trolley back, scolding himself and telling himself to watch his mouth. He walked back and got in.   
“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He said softly.   
“No I’m sorry Horatio, I didn’t mean to snap. I don’t know what came over me.” She said looking at him innocently.   
“You don’t need to apologise.” Horatio said softly as he pulled his seatbelt over.   
“I do and I’m sorry.” She said looking over at him then she put her seatbelt on. He gave her a reassuring smile and then pulled out of the space and out of the car park.   
“Thank you Horatio, for everything.” She said sincerely.  
“Not a problem.” He said with a smile, concentrating on the road. She looked out of the passenger window as she relaxed back into the seat.   
“Nearly back” Horatio said some time later as he pulled off the motorway, he kept his concentration on the road, but didn’t see her move out the corner of his eye.   
“Zoë?” Horatio asked softly as he quickly glanced over to her, then back onto the road.  
“Zoë, sweetheart?” Horatio asked again, glancing over to her. He took his right hand off the wheel and placed it on her knee as his heart raced. He pulled over when she didn’t respond back to him.   
He put his hazards on at the side of the road and then reached over with his right hand and gently turned her head, he saw the same vacant expression on her face as she’d had in the hospital when this happened.   
“Okay sweetheart.” He said softly as he threaded his fingers through her soft hair and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb.   
He looked at her softly, around 30 seconds later she blinked and looked at him.   
“Okay?” Horatio asked softly, looking into her eyes.   
“Yeah” she said confused, she wasn’t sure why they’d stopped or why he had his hand on her face. He dropped his hand from her face and placed it on his leg.   
“Why have we stopped?” She asked.   
“You had a blackout; I stopped to check that you were okay.” Horatio said cautiously.   
She blinked a few times and gave him a small nod. “Sorry” she said softly.   
“You don’t need to apologise.” He said as he clicked his hazard lights off and pulled off. She looked out of the front window and played with the hospital band around her wrist.   
“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” Horatio asked softly, noticing her play with the band.   
“Nothing” she said firmly as she continued to look out of the window. Horatio decided not to press the matter in fear of stressing her out again. It was too late though, she was already looking agitated. She took a few deep breaths and looked over at Horatio.   
“I’m really sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with me.” She said with soft eyes.   
“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, Nathan did tell us that you may get stressed easily. It’s okay.” He said softly glancing over at her. She nodded and then looked back out of the front window. She felt really guilty for talking to Horatio in a mood when all he was doing was helping her out.  
“It’s really okay.” Horatio said reassuring her. She looked back round to him and gave him a nod.  
He pulled on to their road and then up onto her drive.   
“Let’s get you in first, then I’ll bring the shopping in.” Horatio said softly. She gave him a nod and exhaled. They both got out of the car and closed the doors and walked up the path to the front door. Zoë looked at the code pad and her mind drew a blank.  
“Horatio, I–” Zoë began but Horatio cut her off. “Don’t worry.” Horatio said softly as he put the code in and then opened the door.   
“Welcome Horatio.” The system said.   
“Did I put you into the system?” Zoë asked as Horatio gestured for her to walk in.   
“Yes.” He said softly as he walked in after her, closing the door.  
“Who else did I put in?” She asked as she walked through to the kitchen.  
“Just me” Horatio said as she put her bag on the counter.   
“Just you? I probably didn’t get round to anyone else then.” She said as he walked over to the back door and touched the screen to wake it up. Horatio’s heart ached again, she still wasn’t remembering them together. He’d popped by the other day to get rid of anything of his, so she wouldn’t find anything; he wanted her to remember for herself and he didn’t want to freak her out if she came home and found his belongings there.  
“I don’t remember this code.” She said looking over at him walking up to her.   
“I don’t know that one, sorry Zoë.” Horatio said with soft eyes. She closed her eyes and took a breath, trying to remember the code. She remembered and quickly put it in, then scrolled through the activity log. It showed 3 guest visits.   
“That was Alexx picking up some things for you.” Horatio said, thanking God he used the key so it wouldn’t show that he entered the house. She gave him a nod.   
She locked the screen and they walked back through to the kitchen. Zoë began to throw everything away that needed to go.   
“I’ll be back with the shopping.” Horatio said as he disappeared out of the kitchen.  
He returned with 4 bags of shopping.  
“Welcome Horatio.” The system said again. “Mute.” Zoë said loudly.  
Horatio closed the door behind him and placed the bags on the island counter.   
“Thank you” she said.   
“Do you want a drink?” Zoë asked sweetly as she started to put the shopping away.   
“No thank you, I’ve not long had one.” He said with a smile.   
“Okay.” She said sweetly as she put the orange juice in the fridge along with the milk.   
She finished putting the shopping away and then turned to him.   
“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” She asked sweetly, tilting her head at him.   
Horatio had been dreading this moment since they got out of the hospital.   
“Shall we go through to the living room?” She asked him sweetly. He gave her a nod and then followed her through. She sat on the sofa and pulled her legs up under herself like she always did.   
He didn’t want to tell her 100% of it, but he didn’t want to lie to her, so he thought he’d miss snippets out. But then he began to have thoughts about whether to tell her at all.  
‘What good will it do her? It’ll only stress her out.’ He thought to himself.


	16. Chapter 16

He started from the beginning, where she had called him over because she felt uneasy. He said that they had kidnapped the both of them once they were in the car and then woke up in the house. He then told her that she had devised a plan to keep them focused on her phone, while Ryan tracked the tracker that she had placed in her ankle a few weeks before.   
She looked down at her ankle and felt the microchip. He said that she fought them off and then they took her away, which is when they cuffed him. He carried on to say that they brought her back and told her he had no idea what they had done and feared the worse. But then quickly told her that it never happened to stop her from worrying.   
He said that she had then strangled Ratner after he whispered something in her ear.   
He then went on to tell her that they said that they had injected her with a lethal toxin and that after that one of the men began to taunt her which is when she knocked him out.   
He told her about how she leant on the unconscious man’s throat when the other guy held the gun to Horatio’s head and called his bluff. He looked down at her still healing hand and said that she got that when he went to get the gun again and she had yanked her hand out of the cuffs and charged him, tackling him to the floor before he kicked her off. She was listening intensely.   
He said the man managed to get the gun and he accidently shot his friend instead of Zoë when she pushed the gun out of his hand. He explained that by this time she was getting weaker. Horatio said that she then kicked him where it hurt and then knocked him out by kicking him in the head after kicked the gun over to Horatio. He explained that she began to stumble and went to check if the other man was alive, but he wasn’t. He said that she had stumbled over to him to look at the cuffs then got back up and checked both of the men’s pockets for the keys. Before she could get back to him she had lost her coordination and had fallen to the floor, he explained that she threw the keys over to him before collapsing on the floor.   
He stopped when he felt the lump in his throat come back again, he took a few deep breaths to keep himself calm while she remained quiet, taking it all in.   
He then went on to explain that Ryan and SWAT came in just as he had rolled her over and that she had no pulse and was not breathing, he said that she was declared dead at the scene. Horatio stopped again, feeling his emotions grow wild inside. His voice was breaking. She could see how much it was hurting him, she’d never heard his voice break before and she’d never seen him so hurt before.  
“You don’t need to go on.” She said very softly and very quietly. But one question remained at the front of her mind. Horatio looked at her and gave her a nod.   
“I’ve got one question.” She said softly, seeing his hurt. He took a breath and looked up from fiddling with his sunglasses and gave her the go ahead.   
“How am I here if I was declared dead?” She asked, confused.   
“Once we had sorted the scene out and Alexx had gotten you back to…” Horatio stopped himself again and took a deep breath. “She found some trace on your back and legs, Ryan and Eric ran the substance in the needle as well. We found that the substance in the needle was water and would have done you no harm. I ran the trace that was found on your back, it came back to be something called Tetrodotoxin, it’s–”   
“Blow-fish poison?” She questioned.   
“Yes, they had put enough on you so that it would mimic death but still keep you just about alive. You’ve had problems because your brain was starved of the oxygen and blood it required, but was still getting a small amount of them, just enough to keep you alive.” Horatio said looking over at her.  
“They only put the cuff on one of my hands because of the cast?” She said piecing it together in her mind, but still not remembering any of it. He gave her a nod.   
“You got the marks on your wrists from struggling?” She questioned, Horatio nodded again.  
“I’m so sorry.” She said really empathising with him.   
“You don’t need to be sorry.” Horatio said softly, clearing his throat.   
“No but, you shouldn’t have had to go through that.” She said caringly, holding his eyes with hers.   
“Neither should you.” Horatio said tenderly.   
“Thank you for telling me, I know it’s been hard for you.” Zoë said caringly, still holding his gaze.   
She sat there thinking, she had then realised that Alexx was upset when she woke up and saw Alexx. She played with the hospital band again, as she grew agitated and slightly angry that Horatio had to be put through something like that by a vile man who wanted revenge. She got up in haste and walked through to the kitchen growing more and more stressed. Horatio could see her distress as she quickly walked out.   
He took a deep breath, knowing that it would have caused her to become stressed. He walked through to the kitchen and saw her pick up some scissors. He quickly walked over to her, having no idea what she was doing. She simply cut the hospital band off and threw it on the side along with the scissors.   
“Have you caught him?” Zoë asked looking up, growing more distressed.   
“No, they’ve not managed to find anything on him.” Horatio said softly. Zoë leaned on the side and bowed her head down. He saw her breathing accelerate as well as her muscles tense.   
“Sweetheart, try and calm down for me, please.” Horatio said quietly and cautiously. She tried to stop getting more stressed but she couldn’t help it.  
“How can I calm down when this animal is still out there?” Zoë asked, in a relatively calm tone, trying to keep it cool between them. Anger raged through her bloodstream, causing a phenomenal amount of stress.   
“I know its difficult sweetheart, but take a few deep breaths for me.” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand on her back. She ran a hand through her hair and then stood up straight to look at him.  
“You shouldn’t have gone through that, it’s worse than what happened to me!” She said still extremely agitated.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me, it’s okay, just take a few deep breaths for me.” Horatio said very calmly, placing his hand on her shoulder. Her head was hurting because she was so stressed.   
“Horatio, I feel sick.” She said as she leant back on the counter as her breathing deepened and became faster. Her head began to spin as she heard a ringing in her ears. He could see her becoming unsteady on her feet.   
“Okay sweetheart, let’s go and sit down.” Horatio said as he placed a hand on her back. She shakily turned to him and held on to him as he gently helped her to slowly walk over into the living room.   
“Horatio, I think… I’m going to pass out.” She said quietly and breathlessly.  
“Okay sweetheart, try and stay calm.” He said as they walked through into the living room. She began to become more dependent on him as they slowly walked around the sofa. He felt her strength diminish as her legs buckled from under her and fell into Horatio who held her and quickly placed her on the sofa. He laid her on her back and cleared her airways before sitting beside her as his heart raced and pounded against his chest. He pulled the top of her top up to cover her bra when it was pulled down as she fell and he held onto her. He quickly took her pulse to make sure she had just passed out and not arrested. She had a steady but slightly fast pulse.   
“Zoë, sweetheart?” Horatio asked softly as he picked up her legs and held them up, raising them to try and get the blood back to her brain. Her breathing steadied as he pulled his phone out and instantly rang Nathan.   
“Nathan, Zoë’s just passed out.” Horatio said as he answered his phone.   
“Okay, have you laid her down, raised her legs and cleared her airways?” He asked.   
“Yes.” Horatio said looking down at her.   
“How long has she been out for?” Nathan asked as he put his pen down on his desk.   
“Only about 30 seconds now” Horatio said.   
“Okay, what happened?” Nathan asked, knowing that she wasn’t in any immediate danger.  
“She got really stressed after I had explained what happened.” Horatio said shaking his head, knowing it was too soon.   
“Okay, you really need to keep her calm and relaxed, too much stress is going to cause her to pass out.” Nathan said as Zoë began to come around again.   
“She’s coming around.” Horatio said to Nathan as he lowered her legs and placed his hand on the side of her face. “Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio asked looking down at her.   
“Mmm” She moaned groggily.   
“Okay Horatio, I want you to make sure she’s okay and get her to rest.” Nathan said to Horatio on the phone.   
“Sure, she’s going to go right to bed when she’s got the strength.” Horatio said looking down at her with soft eyes.   
“Call again if you’re at all worried, but I think it’s just a simple faint and nothing to worry about.” Nathan said picking up his pen again.   
“Okay, thank you Nathan.”   
“No problem.” Nathan said as they hung up. Horatio put the phone back in his pocket.   
“How are you feeling?” Horatio asked her softly.   
“Tired, what happened?” She asked as she tried to sit up.   
“Stay lying down for a little while, you just passed out.” Horatio said as he gently held her down.   
She didn’t have the strength to fight back, Horatio tenderly brushed her temple with his thumb with his fingers thread through her hair, letting her rest and relax.   
“How are you feeling now?” Horatio asked softly a couple of minutes later.   
“Better, thank you.” She said tiredly. She lifted her left hand and put it to her head as Horatio continued to tenderly brush her temple. She took a deep breath as she looked up tiredly to Horatio.   
“Good.” Horatio said with a small smile, but a concerned look still covered his face.   
“Do you think you can sit up?” He asked and she nodded at him. He slowly helped her to sit up as he continued to sit next to her, with their hips touching. She leant on the back of the sofa as he delicately held on to her arm.   
“Okay?” Horatio asked softly.   
“Yeah” she said with a nod as she lifted her right arm and went to put it behind her to lean on but ended up placing it on Horatio’s leg. She looked back and quickly removed her hand.   
“Sorry Horatio.” She said quickly.   
“Don’t worry.” He said as she leant back on her hand. “Do you want any water?” He asked her softly.   
“Please.” She said as she nodded looking and feeling drained.   
“I’ll be right back, don’t move.” He said as he got up as she gave him a nod. She swung her legs round and placed her feet on the floor as she leant back on the sofa.   
Horatio walked back in with a glass of water as she lifted her head from the sofa and thanked him.  
He sat down next to her and handed her the glass. She took a few sips and placed the glass between her knees.   
“Thank you Horatio, I feel much better.” She said looking over at him tiredly.   
“Not a problem, do you think you are able to walk up the stairs?” Horatio asked softly.   
“Yeah” she said with a nod.   
“Come on then.” Horatio said softly.  
“You don’t have to help me, I can manage.” She said as she stood up slowly as Horatio stood and took the glass from her.   
“Okay?” He asked and she gave him a nod. He placed his hand on her back as they walked out of the living room and Horatio placed the glass on the kitchen counter before he took a hold of her wrist and placed his other hand on her back as they slowly walked up the stairs. They walked into her bedroom.   
“Thank you Horatio.” She said as he sat her on her bed.   
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked.   
“Yes, I’ll be fine, thank you.” She said giving him a tired smile.   
“Okay, I’m just down the road if you need me and I’m going to be back later to check up on you, okay?” Horatio said softly.   
“Okay, thank you. Just let yourself in.” She said as he gave her a nod and then walked out and closed her bedroom door behind him.   
She got up and changed into her pjs and got straight into bed.   
She fell asleep almost instantly.   
Horatio let himself in at 8pm that evening and checked up on her, she was still fast asleep in her bed and he smiled as he closed the door quietly. He went back home and relaxed himself and finally got a relatively good night’s sleep in his bed, but he missed Zoë, there was the worn shirt she had worn the night before they were taken on his bed when he got in.   
The next morning, Horatio checked up on her before he went back off to work, she was still asleep in the bed, looking very comfortable. He left her to sleep and went off to work.   
She woke up at 9.30 feeling refreshed and had a shower. She finally sorted out her new phone and sorted all of the apps out and the contacts. She linked it up with the security system in the house and then went down to get something to eat. She sat in the living room and ate her toast, she was already bored. It was already a very hot day that morning so she decided that she was going to sunbathe. She changed into her bikini and put sun cream on before going out, she sat in the mini swimming pool for about 10 minutes before getting out and sunbathing on the sunbed. She picked up her book and began to read it with her sunglasses on and hair tied up.   
It felt really good to properly feel the sun on her skin again. When she got a little too hot again she went and got a drink before sitting back in the mini pool for a few minutes before going back to sunbathe. She went and got some lunch & drink and then went back outside and began reading again after applying more sun cream.   
She fell asleep and about 20 minutes later Ryan let himself in and walked through to the back when he saw the back door open.   
“Zoë?” He asked seeing her sleeping in the sun. He felt himself excite as he laid his eyes on her body, he tried to calm himself down. She didn’t wake so he walked over to her and calmed himself down, trying to concentrate on her face, rather than her body.   
“Zoë?” He said louder. She woke up and looked up at him, shocked.   
“Sorry, I did knock, but you didn’t answer so I worried a little.” Ryan said softly, trying to keep his eyes on hers.  
“I’m sorry.” She said as she quickly sat up and pulled her towel over her and then stood up.   
“Sorry.” He said.  
“Don’t worry; I’m just going to get changed.”   
“I just came to check up on you, I need to go as I’m still working.” Ryan said softly.   
“Okay.” She said putting her sunglasses up on her head. “I’m fine, just relaxing.” She assured him.  
“I can see that, wish I could have the time to sunbathe.” He said with a smile, trying his best to keep his eyes on hers while trying to keep himself calm at the same time.  
“I wish I could go back to work, wanna’ swap?” She asked.   
“I’ll think about it.” He said with a smile.   
“Why are you working? It’s Sunday.” She asked, looking at him.   
“Yeah, well, we’re putting some extra work in at the lab.” Ryan said shyly and she nodded, not really thinking anything of it.  
“I’ll er… I’ll be off.” Ryan said softly.   
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” She said as she walked into the house with him. He left and she got herself another drink before going out and sitting in the shade to read her book. ‘I can’t even read this properly, have I turned into a moron or something?’ She thought to herself, having to re-read sentences over and over again but she persisted with it in hope that it’ll help.   
Time flew past and she finally went upstairs and decided that she wanted a bath rather than a shower, so she ran a deep bath in the main bathroom and got in, relaxing.   
“Skyler, volume 2. Play music.” She said as the sound system came alive with quiet music.  
She got out and threw her clothes from the previous few days in the washing bin and tidied a little, then put some washing on before sticking some food in the oven.   
“Skyler, stop music.”  
She sat down in the living room and watched a little bit of TV, 15 minutes passed.   
“Welcome Horatio.” The voice said quietly as Horatio entered.   
Zoë turned around as Horatio walked through to the living room. She looked round and greeted him with a hello, he did the same as he observed her in a t-shirt and joggers.  
“Ryan tells me that you’ve had a very relaxing day.” Horatio said with a smile, only wishing he had popped back instead of Ryan.  
“Most certainly, caught up with all of the sun I had lost.” She said. “Do you want a drink? Orange juice, coffee?” She asked she got up, pulled her joggers up and then walked through to the kitchen.   
“No thank you; just came over to make sure everything is in order.” He said with a smile, seeing her relaxed.   
“How are you feeling?” He asked as she poured herself some orange juice.   
“Really well thank you.” She said with a brilliant smile. Horatio leant on the counter, admiring her smile, taking as much of it in as he could. She took a sip of the juice before putting it down and asking how his day went.   
‘She seems extremely happy, not that I’m complaining. Her smile is to die for, I don’t understand why she doesn’t smile more often like she used to.’ Horatio thought, he knew that since she had gotten out, she hardly ever smiled and didn’t seem to understand when he smiled at her. He had hopes that she was beginning to become her old self again.  
“It’s been… busy, to say the least. It’s good to be back.” Horatio said with a smile.   
“Good.” She said with a smile as the oven bleeped, telling her that the food was done.   
“What have you got?” Horatio asked casually.   
“Just something simple, chicken Kiev’s and chips, not the healthiest, but easy.” She said as she opened the oven and let the initial heat out, before reaching in to pick the tray up.   
“Zoë!!” Horatio raised his voice as he very quickly moved in and pulled her arm away from the oven.   
“You need an oven glove!” Horatio said looking up at her with a very shocked expression. She just looked at him.   
“It’s hot.” Horatio said as he let go of her arm and put the oven glove on himself and pulled the tray out.   
“Don’t touch it.” He said as he placed it on the top and closed the oven door before turning it off.   
“What’s going on?” Horatio asked looking at her while she looked down at the tray, a little confused.   
“I don’t know, I just didn’t think.” Zoë said looking at him innocently.  
Horatio exhaled as he took the oven glove off.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio questioned, very concerned.   
“Yes.” She said looking at him, shocked with herself.   
“Sweetheart, you would have burnt yourself, it’s hot.” Horatio said, clearly.   
“I know.” She said as she lowered her eyebrows, confused with herself.  
“Then why didn’t you put a glove on?” He asked, trying to calm himself down.   
“I didn’t think.” She said looking at him softly.  
“I’m going to give Nathan a ring, okay? Go and sit down, I’ll bring this through to you.” He said softly. She nodded at him and gave him a small smile. She sat down, not quite understanding why on Earth she’d put her hand in the oven.   
Horatio brought the food through on a plate. “I’ll be in the kitchen, I’m just ringing Nathan.” Horatio said looking down at her with a caring expression.   
“I’m okay, you don’t need to do that.” She said softly giving him a smile.   
“It’ll put my mind to rest, okay?” Horatio said cautiously.   
“Okay.” She said “Thank you.” She added as he turned around, he looked back and gave her a nod. Horatio went into the kitchen and put the tray in the dishwasher before calling Nathan.   
“Hi Nathan”   
“Horatio, is everything okay?” Nathan asked a little worried.   
“I’m not sure, Zoë… erm…” He wasn’t sure how to describe it. “She doesn’t seem to be thinking about the dangers and consequences of situations.” Horatio said as he ran a hand through his hair.   
“How so?” Nathan asked, intrigued but at the same time, worried.   
“Well, twice yesterday she just crossed the road, almost getting run over, she didn’t even look. Just now I caught her reaching in to the oven to pull a tray out without an oven glove.” Horatio said quietly.   
“Did she realise what she was doing?” Nathan asked concerned.   
“I don’t know, she insists that she ‘just didn’t think’, but I’m not sure what is going on.” Horatio said quietly.   
“Okay, I’m on shift as they are low staffed so you can bring her to see me now if you want, or I can come over after my shift is finished, it’s your choice.” Nathan said softly as he sat back in his chair.   
“Can I ring you back, I’ve just got to talk Zoë in to it first…” Horatio said looking over to the living room.   
“Sure thing” Nathan said  
“Thanks.” Horatio said as they hung up. He walked through to the living room where Zoë had eaten some chips and some of the chicken kiev and placed it on the coffee table in front of her.   
“Not finishing it?” Horatio asked.   
“I’m not hungry anymore.” She said looking round to him.   
“Well, at least you’ve eaten something, even if it is half.” Horatio said softly as he walked around and sat on the sofa next to her.  
“I’ve just been on the phone to Nathan, he wants to see you. He said that I can either take you to him now, or he can come over after his shift is over.” Horatio said cautiously.  
She steadily exhaled, thinking about it. She knew there was no point in arguing.   
“I’ll go now.” She said as she stood up and picked the plate up.   
“What?” Horatio asked shocked that she had just given in so easily.   
“I said I’ll go.” She said looking at him as she passed him and walked through to the kitchen. He followed her, stunned.   
“Okay, I’ll ring him back.” Horatio said as he pulled his phone out again.   
“Hi Nathan, we’ll be there soon.” Horatio said as he kept an eye on Zoë as she scraped her plate and put it in the dishwasher.   
“That was quick.” Nathan said surprised but happy.   
“I know.” Horatio said a little surprised still.   
“We’ll be there soon, okay?” Horatio said softly.   
“Okay, see you then.” Nathan said as they both hung up. Horatio looked up at Zoë.   
“I’m just going to get changed.” She said looking down at her lazy clothes.   
“I’m sure Nathan won’t mind…” Horatio said softly.   
“No, but I do. I look like a tramp.” She said as she walked passed him and up the stairs. Horatio couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. It wasn’t what she said, it was how she said it that amused Horatio. Horatio turned the TV off and waited by the door until Zoë came down.   
“Okay?” Horatio asked as she walked over to her shoes and put them on.   
“Yep” she said happily as she picked her bag up, Horatio opened the door for her and then closed it after him.   
“My car is at my house.” Horatio said as she looked over at the drive but saw no car.   
“Ah.” She said as they began to walk down to Horatio’s house and then got into the car.   
They drove over to the hospital, having a pleasant conversation on the way there.   
Horatio parked up and they got out, again, Zoë just walked into the road without looking, Horatio stopped her and waved the car passed and helped her across the road safely while again telling her that she had to look. They walked into the hospital and up to Nathan’s office, he answered the door and invited them in.   
They sat down as Nathan closed the door. “Now, Zoë…” Nathan said as he walked around his desk and sat down looking over to her.   
“I just saw you cross that road, why didn’t you look?” Nathan asked, clasping his hands in one another, leaning back on his chair.   
“I didn’t think.” She said innocently.   
“How are you feeling, really?” Nathan asked, leaning forward with soft eyes, tilting his head.   
“I feel good.” She said with a smile raising her eyebrows.   
“We can talk in private, if you’d prefer it?” Nathan asked.   
“No, I’m really fine, I honestly feel really good.” She said raising her eyebrows, giving him a smile.   
“How’s your memory?” He asked.   
“It’s gotten a lot better since being out of here, I remember most of the past 4 months now.” She said with a smile, trying to convince him that she was actually okay.   
“Then why are you having a problem with simple tasks like crossing roads?”   
“I don’t know, I really can’t tell you. It just doesn’t occur to me at the time I guess.” She said looking at him tilting her head.   
“What about the oven earlier?” Nathan asked softly.   
“Again, it didn’t occur to me to put the glove on.” Zoë said raising her eyebrows, she was slightly concerned herself, but she didn’t see how it was too much of a problem.   
“You know it’s hot though, don’t you?” Nathan asked.   
“Yes, but at the time I guess I didn’t even think of that.” She said taking a deep breath.   
“I think I noticed this when she was still in the hospital.” Horatio added as he leant forward, thinking back.   
“Zoë, you didn’t seem to think there was a problem with drinking the tea while it was steaming hot.” Nathan looked at Horatio, taking in the information and thinking. He leant back again.   
“Zoë, can you please stand up for me?” Nathan asked as he stood up and walked around the desk.   
“I just want to ask you to do a few things.” Nathan added as he gently gestured to the middle of the room.   
“I want you to straighten your arms out and then bend your knees with your eyes closed.” Nathan asked, she did as he asked, while he stayed close in case she lost her balance.   
“Good, now stand on one leg and bend your knee.” Again she did as he asked, he nodded  
“Touch your knee to your opposite elbow, do it with both knees.”   
“Well done, now throw these scissors in the air?” Nathan asked as he handed her the scissors and she went to throw them without thinking, but before she did, Nathan stopped her and quickly took the scissors out of her hands. Horatio sat there stunned.  
“Now what was wrong with that?” He asked looking at her.   
“Well, you stopped me.” Zoë said looking at him confused.   
“Okay have a seat.” He said as she sat down. He pulled over a stool and sat in front of her.   
“Just going to shine this in your eyes.” He said as he picked up an ophthalmoscope. He dimmed the light and shone it in both of her eyes.” Once he’d finished he backed off and turned the lights back on, and placed a blood pressure cuff on her arm.   
“Blood pressure’s normal.” Nathan took it off her arm and then sat back in his chair.   
“Zoë, why did I stop you from throwing the scissors?” Nathan asked softly. She thought about it for about 10 seconds before realising.   
“Because it’s dangerous” she said looking at him shocked.   
“That’s right.” He said. “What I think is happening is that you’re acting before you have time to think about the action or outcome. Especially when it comes to dangerous situations. You’re not thinking about the consequences, I can’t tell you why you’re not though, it could be that you’ve still not fully recovered. I do know that you’re thinking process is slower than it usually is, so that could be a primary factor.” Nathan said as he thought to himself.   
“So what can I do to make sure that something like that doesn’t happen again?” Zoë asked as she leant forwards.   
“Try and really think about things before you do them? Take your time with tasks and try to have supervision for as long as possible for the time being, I really can’t tell you what to do, it’s either that or I admit you again.” Nathan said looking at her caringly.   
Zoë exhaled and looked up at him with soft eyes. “Will I think about these things again? I can’t stay like this forever, can I?” Zoë asked.   
“Zoë, I really couldn’t tell you sweet, I do hope that you’ll recover very soon.” Nathan said tilting his head, giving her a calm expression. She sat back and took a deep breath; she rubbed her face and eyes before running her hands through her hair and then took another deep breath.   
“Okay, thank you Nathan.” She said softly.   
“I’m sorry I can’t do anything more for you sweet.” Nathan said tilting his head, looking at her tenderly.   
“It’s not your fault, you’ve done everything you can for me. Thank you.” She said giving him a small smile. Nathan stood up along with Zoë and Horatio, he gave them a nod.   
“If you have any other problems or questions, don’t hesitate to call or come back.” He said giving them both a smile.   
“Thank you.” She said as she shook his hand, giving him a small smile.  
“Thank you Nathan.” Horatio said as he shook his hand.   
Nathan opened the door for them as they walked out.   
“See you in under a week.” He said softly as they gave him a nod.   
They walked down the stairs. “Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio asked delicately as they got to the bottom of the stairs and stopped.   
She took a deep breath and exhaled “yeah, I just need some chocolate right now.” Horatio was still concerned about what Nathan had just said, and was questioning whether she’d return back to normal.  
“I’m sure that can be arranged.” Horatio said giving her a smile back. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Horatio said as they began to walk again as he tenderly placed his hand on her shoulder blade.   
They walked out of the hospital and got into Horatio’s car as Horatio made sure she crossed the road safely. They got in the car and Horatio pulled away.   
“Thank you Horatio.” She said tenderly as she looked out of the window.   
“Not a problem.” He said glancing over to her. “Don’t worry; you’re going to get through this, I’m with you every step of the way.” He said reassuring her. She turned to him and gave him a nod and a small forced smile.   
“You will, there’s no doubt about it in my mind. But for the time being, we’re going to put a few things in place, okay?” Horatio said glancing over at her a few times.   
“Like what?” Zoë asked, giving him her attention.   
“You’re going to let me know when you wake up and go to sleep, either by text or you call. You let me know when you eat, and how you’re going to cook it…” Horatio said thinking of something more.   
“So essentially, I’m going to update you about everything?” She said giving him a smile with a small chuckle. “You could say that I suppose.” He said with a small smile.   
“I’m going to try and come over whenever I can, if I can’t I’ll try and get Ryan or Eric to nip over?” He asked.   
“Okay.” She said with a small smile, feeling a little better about the situation now.   
“Still want that chocolate?” He asked with a smile.   
“I think I’ve got some at home.” She said with a smile and then looked back out of the window.   
“Okay sweetheart.” He said as he concentrated on the road.   
They arrived back at Zoë’s and they got out of the car, Zoë let them in and Horatio made sure she was okay before he left.   
Zoë changed into her pjs and sat down in the living room and put a film on, half way through the film she fell asleep on the sofa.   
Horatio nipped over the next morning and found her asleep on the sofa, he decided that he wouldn’t wake her and quickly left for work. She eventually woke up at 10.15 and went for a shower before going back outside to sit in the sun to read, she let Horatio know what she was doing. She felt extremely happy and didn’t quite understand why.  
Horatio quickly popped round to make sure everything was okay and then left after they had a short conversation. She did some house work then went to watch TV and dozed off on the sofa when Ryan came over 20 minutes after she fell asleep. He knocked on the door which woke her up, she sleepily answered the door.   
“I didn’t wake you did I?” Ryan asked seeing her rub one of her eyes.   
“I was just resting my eyes.” She said as a smile appeared across her face. “Come in.” She said as she stood to the side to let him past. He melted seeing her smile.   
“How are you doing?” He asked as they walked through to the kitchen.   
“Well, although, I’m getting so bored, I just don’t know what to do with myself.” She said with a smile as she leant on the island counter. “Do you want a drink?” She asked with the same smile.   
“Oh no thank you, just had coffee.” He said grinning, extremely happy that she was smiling so much, he’d really missed her smile and to see it again was a breath of fresh air, he loved it.  
“Okay, how’s work?” She asked.   
“Same old, same old really.” He said with a smile, admiring her smile.  
“How’s Eric?” She asked softly while she fiddled with her fingers.   
“He’s good; he’s back at the lab at the moment.” Ryan said with a smile. “I should really be getting back actually.” Ryan said looking at his watch, but not wanting to walk away from her brilliant smile..   
“Okay, I’ll see you soon. Thank you for coming round.” She said with a smile as she walked him out.   
“I’ll see you soon, give me a ring if you need anything, okay?” Ryan asked. Ryan still missed how she’d call him honey or sweetie, or even pretty boy. ‘There’s still something not right about her, why can’t she just be who she is?’ Ryan thought to himself. ‘Or, perhaps this could work out in my favour? I hate to say it, but I’ve got a chance now that Horatio isn’t with her… she could fall for me? I hope she fall’s for me. It would be horrible for Horatio, I know. But I need her.’ Ryan thought to himself, knowing he was being selfish.  
“Will do, thanks.” She said with a brilliant smile. He gave her a nod and then walked back out and got into his hummer. Zoë closed the door and went back through to the living room with a bar of chocolate and crisps and sat down to watch the rest of the film. She texted Horatio that she was just about to put her dinner on, then got up and put a baked potato in the oven then went back to relaxing on the sofa with a magazine while she put a music channel on.   
Horatio came over 40 minutes later, he knocked on the door and Zoë invited him in.  
“How are you feeling today?” Horatio asked with a smile as he held his sunglasses in his hand.   
“Really good thanks.” She said with a beaming smile.   
“How are you?” She asked back.  
“I’m good.” Horatio said with a small smile as he looked down at the floor, happy to see her so happy.   
“Would you like a drink?” She asked with a smile as she flicked her fringe out of her eyes.   
“No thank you, just popped round, I’ve got some work to finish.” He said softly looking up at her.   
“Okay.” She said with a smile as the oven beeped.   
She opened the door and reached in, but stopped herself before Horatio could say anything. She looked up and round to him.  
“Oven glove” she simply said looking at him studying the worried look in his eyes with his still open mouth from where he didn’t get the chance to speak.   
He closed his mouth and stood up straight and gave her a nod. She picked up the oven glove and took the tray out.   
“Well done.” Horatio said looking at her, knowing that it was definitely some progress. She gave him a smile and put the tray on the side. ‘If I hadn’t have been here, I don’t think she would have remembered…’ Horatio thought to himself, extremely glad that he did go over.  
She placed the baked potato on a plate and Horatio said bye as she dished up, she showed him out and then got back to her meal and then sat down to eat.   
She cleared away and then went for a shower before going to bed for an early night.   
The next morning, Horatio checked up on her again, but she was still sleeping, so quickly left after remembering her peaceful sleeping face when he used to wake up next to her.   
She eventually woke up at 11.35, she got up and had her shower before making some tea. This morning she felt quite moody and low, she didn’t bother texting Horatio. He was now starting to worry but was dealing with some difficult suspects and couldn’t get round to going to see her so he sent Ryan over instead.  
He knocked on the door and Zoë answered with the tea in her hand.   
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked almost instantly seeing the look in her eyes.   
“I’m fine.” She said immediately. Horatio had told Ryan that she could experience mood swings and he instantly knew that she was right in the middle of one right now.   
“Just came to check, you didn’t text Horatio.” Ryan said cautiously, treading lightly around the situation.   
“I lost my phone.” She said lowly and quietly. He could clearly see it in her pocket.  
“Okay, just as long as you’re alright.” He said softly. “I should be off.” She gave him a nod and he quickly turned around and left.   
She closed the door, realising how rude she had been and just sat down and ate 2 large bars of chocolate in front of the TV, not thinking about it as her emotions would amplify.  
Ryan got back to the lab and silently told Horatio that he needed to speak to him through the interrogation window.   
“Eric, keep him occupied.” Horatio said as he left the interrogation room and walked over to Ryan.   
“What’s wrong Mr Wolfe?” Horatio asked looking down.  
“She’s up, she’s just really not in a good mood.” Ryan said softly and very quietly.   
“Did she say why she hadn’t texted?” Horatio asked.   
“Well, she said she lost her phone, but it was clearly in her pocket, I didn’t press the matter. My guess is that she’s having a bad day.” Ryan said softly.   
“Thank you Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said as he pulled his phone out to check for any messages. Ryan walked away and got on with his work while Horatio sighed and walked back into the interrogation room to.   
After finishing the two bars of chocolate, her mood had calmed down and she just felt really low and alone.  
Back at the lab, Horatio couldn’t seem to focus 100% on the task at hand, Zoë was at the front of his mind, and he was worried about her. However, he carried on doing his best and doing his job well.  
The day didn’t seem to end, 4 hours later, he asked Ryan to quickly pop back to hers as he simply couldn’t do it as he was swamped with work that had just been dumped into his arms. . Ryan did just that and went back round to Zoë’s, being mindful of the way he composed himself, not wanting to start and argument with her.   
But when he knocked she didn’t answer. He let himself in as concern began to fill his mind and looked around, she was no-where to be seen downstairs, he noticed a few small blood drops on the kitchen floor, which sent his heart rate racing. He saw the disturbed First Aid kit on the top of the cupboard. He followed the small drops up stairs into her room; he opened her en-suite door. His eyes narrowed on a kitchen knife that was left on the side with a small blood pool around the tip and quite a few drops on the floor and a heel mark in a small blood pool. He instantly pulled his phone out and dialled for Horatio.   
“Horatio, you need to come here now.” Ryan said as he answered.   
“What’s happened?” Horatio asked dropping everything and walking into his office to pick up his keys.   
“She’s not in and I’ve just found a bloody knife in her bathroom, there’s blood drops throughout the house. There’s not much blood, but it’s not right.” Ryan said looking around for any signs of what may have happened.  
“I’m on my way over now Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said as he rushed out to his hummer and jumped in, hanging up on Ryan in the process.   
Ryan went downstairs again and looked around, noticing a bloody fingerprint on the backdoor handle.   
On his way over, Horatio tried calling Zoë but had no luck getting through to her, so he left her a voicemail.   
Ryan continued to look around her house for anything to tell him what had happened.   
Horatio walked through the front door and immediately walked through to the kitchen and saw the blood drops.   
‘My guess is that she’s having a bad day’ resonated through Horatio’s mind as Ryan came through to the kitchen to say that there’s a bloody print on the back door.   
They peered outside and nothing seemed to be disturbed so Horatio quickly made his way upstairs and into the en-suite. He saw the knife and blood and his heart pounded against his chest.   
He rang Zoë again, but there was no answer.


	17. Chapter 17

Horatio rushed downstairs and both of them exchanged worried looks, Horatio’s phone beeped indicating that he had a message.  
‘I’ve just gone for a walk.’ Is what the message said under Zoë’s name.   
Horatio tried phoning her again, but she didn’t answer.  
‘She wouldn’t cut herself, would she? She can’t cut herself, she wouldn’t.’ Horatio thought to himself, not wanting to believe it.  
Another message came through.   
‘I’m okay; I’ve gone for a walk, just need to clear my head.’ Ryan saw the frustration on Horatio’s face.   
“Is that Zoë?” Ryan asked.   
“Yes, she says she’s gone for a walk.” Horatio said reading the messages again.   
Horatio went outside and opened the back garden gate to have a look around the beach.   
He again pulled out his phone and rang her, she finally answered.   
“Zoë, where are you?” Horatio asked immediately.   
“I told you I’ve gone for a walk.” She said as the wind made a slight noise disturbance. “There’s no need to worry.” She added.   
“Sweetheart, you can’t just do that. You’ve had both me and Wolfe worried.” Horatio said softly.   
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to worry you.” She said softly as she took a deep breath.   
“Don’t worry sweetheart, as long as you’re okay. Please tell me where you are.” He said very delicately, noting the vulnerable tone in her voice. He looked up at Ryan as he spoke.   
“I need some time on my own.” She said as she pulled her hair out of her face. He closed his eyes and exhaled steadily, Ryan knew that he wasn’t getting anything out of her.   
“Sweetheart–”  
“I need some time alone Horatio.” She said softly as a lump in her throat developed and she hung up. He heard the break in her voice and knew she was upset.  
“I know she’s on the beach, it sounded quite breezy.” Horatio said looking back up at Ryan and then they shut the back garden gate.   
“She doesn’t seem to want to be found; shouldn’t we give her some space?” Ryan asked, softly.  
“Right now, that’s the last thing she really needs.” Horatio said as he began to look around.  
“How are we going to find her? It’s a big beach.” Ryan said raising his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he scanned the beach as Horatio put his sunglasses on.   
“We can either split up, or we go one way and then the other.” Horatio said looking both ways.   
“We can cover more if we split, but what happens if I find her? She’s more likely to talk to you, isn’t she? I mean, you both…” Ryan stopped himself before he said something stupid.   
“Right now Mr Wolfe, I think she’s more comfortable with you.” Horatio said softly, looking at him through his sunglasses, hating the fact that she was slightly closer with him.   
“H, I don’t mean to get in the way of anything…” He said not wanting to come between the both of them and feeling bad that the woman Horatio loves seems to be closer with him rather than Horatio.   
“Ryan… all I want is for her to be happy.” Horatio said as he took off up the beach, scanning the area with his eyes. Ryan wasn’t sure how to interpret his words, was it with respect to the situation now, or if Zoë didn’t remember the both of them together and she fell for Ryan that he has Horatio’s blessing?  
Ryan turned around and began to walk down the beach.   
7 minutes later Horatio rang Ryan.   
“I’ve found her.” Horatio said softly as he slowly began to approach her, she was about 150 yards away.   
“Okay H, give me a ring if you need me. I’ll go back to the lab.” Ryan said as he turned around and began to head back to the house.   
“Okay Wolfe.” Horatio said as he hung up.   
He approached her slowly from the left and saw her wearing one of her beach playsuits with her hair gently being blown back in the breeze. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and leant on her knees with crossed arms as she looked out to sea with her sunglasses on.   
He got closer and she heard him approach but didn’t look back, she knew he wouldn’t give up. She continued to look out to sea; it always had a calming effect. The steady sound of the waves breaking and rolling over the sand put together with the beautiful beach, nice weather and clear water had the magical feel of tranquillity.  
Horatio cautiously sat down next to her and raised his knees enough to lean on, sitting forwards.   
Her sunglasses covered most of her face; she had put on her Ray Ban aviator sunglasses. She didn’t even move or make a sound, just looked out at the sea peacefully.   
Horatio broke the silence. “Sweetheart, we found a bloody knife in your bathroom.” He looked at her arms and wrist to see if she had cut herself. Instead she moved her right leg and looked down at her ankle.   
“I removed the tracker chip.” Horatio looked down at her ankle and saw the small bandage.  
She pulled the leg back in and looked back out to sea. While Horatio exhaled with relief and looked down at the sand.   
He could see that she had been crying, he caught a glimpse of her slightly red watery eyes through the side of her sunglasses.   
“Sweetheart, you know you can talk to me about anything, don’t you?” Horatio said very delicately, looking at her with soft eyes as he tilted his head, looking at her sideways. She just gave him a small nod as she glanced over at him for a few seconds before continuing to look out to sea. Horatio thought to himself, wondering what he could say next or what he could do to make her feel better. She kept her head straight but looked down at the waves breaking as they rolled in.   
The lump in her throat developed again and she took a broken breath and exhaled putting her head on her arms. She didn’t even know why she seemed to be so low. The tears gathered in her eyes as she fought to keep them from falling, her breathing deepened and almost became gasps as she tried to keep control over her emotions but it wasn’t any use. Horatio quickly shuffled closer to her and placed his hand on her back and smoothly moved it around to her right shoulder and gently pulled her over to him. Her cast rested on his thigh as she was pulled in closer to him. ‘She’s actually allowing me to comfort her?’ Horatio thought to himself. She felt Horatio place his left hand on to the side of her head as he gently placed her head against the top of his chest with her forehead against his neck. He gently rubbed her shoulder with his right hand as she took hold of his left arm with her right.   
It was an awkward position, but Horatio wasn’t going to let go of her until he knew she felt better.   
She continued to try and keep her breathing under control, but it was still erratic and uneven as tears slowly fell from her eyes. It broke his heart to see her so upset.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” He whispered softly against the top of her head. About a minute later she managed to gain some control over her breathing, but it was still slightly erratic. She slowly pulled away from Horatio and he let her go. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and then took her sunglasses off as she turned her head away to wipe the tears from her eyes but didn’t want Horatio to see. She placed the sunglasses back on as she looked back out to sea and took a deep breath.   
She looked round to Horatio.   
“Thank you” she said very quietly. He tilted his head and gave her a comforting smile. She looked back out to sea and took another deep breath and exhaled steadily. He knew she’d been out there for a long time, she was quite cold, despite the warm sun shining down on them, it was the constant breeze which was giving her chills.   
“Are you ready to head back?” Horatio asked very delicately as their shoulders touched. She looked round to him and gave him a small nod. They got up and brushed the sand off before making their way slowly back down the beach. They walked next to each other as Zoë looked down and watched her feet walk through the sand.   
“Okay?” Horatio asked softly. She looked around and up at him and nodded her head.   
“Yeah” she quietly replied.  
He gave her a comforting smile as they carried on walking.   
Zoë looked back to where she was walking and scanned the beach with her eyes, no matter how many times she looked at the same beach, it still looked stunning.   
They reached Zoë’s house and they went in.   
“I’ll be right back.” Zoë said a she disappeared into the downstairs bathroom to wipe the panda eyes away and the makeup that had run down her face. She came back out and placed her sunglasses on the side.   
“I’m sorry Horatio.” She said softly looking up at him with soft eyes.   
“There’s no need to apologise sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, giving her the comforting smile.   
She looked down at the blood on the floor.   
“I didn’t even see that before I left.” She said quietly as she got out a cloth and disinfectant and wiped the blood up. She threw the cloth in the bin.  
“Sweetheart, do you want to talk about anything?” Horatio asked caringly and cautiously.   
She looked at him and she inhaled through her nose.   
“There’s nothing really to talk about.” She said as she looked down and noticed more blood drops. She exhaled and then looked back up at Horatio who looked at her tenderly; she knew he wouldn’t leave it without knowing that she’s really okay.   
She leant on the counter and looked up at him. “I don’t…” she exhaled, not knowing what to say. “I don’t know why I’m feeling down, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I just woke up in a bad mood and feeling incredibly low.” She said honestly to him.   
Horatio was slightly relieved that there was nothing really bothering her as such, but still found it hard to see her unhappy.   
“Okay sweetheart, Nathan said that you may feel down every now and then, it’s nothing to worry or be ashamed about, okay? We’re all here for you.” Horatio said, looking at her with his soft blue eyes, tilting his head with a comforting expression.   
She gave him a nod and a small smile with a calm expression.   
“I can stay for a bit and keep you company or if you want your space I can go, I really don’t mind. It’s up to you sweetheart.”   
Zoë looked up at the ceiling as her eyes welled again. “I don’t know what I want.” She said looking back down at him, trying to fight the tears. “I just don’t know.” She said again as she looked down and wiped her eyes again and exhaled violently. Horatio moved closer and rubbed her arm delicately.   
“Okay beautiful, it’s okay. I’ll stay for a little while, I think it’s best.” Horatio said looking at her with a tender expression. She looked up at him and gave him a nod before looking back down again and wiping her eyes again.   
“I’m really sorry.” She said brokenly.   
“You don’t need to be sorry.” Horatio said soothingly. She took a deep breath and looked back up at him with a sensitive expression.   
“Would you like a drink?” Zoë asked as she wiped her eye one last time.   
“No thank you, I’m good.” He said softly giving her a smile. She gave him a nod and a small smile as she looked up at him.  
“Shall we go and sit down?” He asked and she gave another nod as she moved. Horatio placed a gentle hand on her back as she passed and they walked through to the living room.   
“Have you eaten?” Horatio asked as she sat down. She shook her head.   
“What do you want to eat?” He asked with a soft smile.   
“Horatio, you don’t have to make me anything. I’ll make something later.” She said with a small shy smile. He looked at her with a slightly displeased face then gave her a small urging smile.   
Her smile grew. “I’ll make something later.” She said with the same smile, reassuring him.   
He gave her a nod and sat down on the sofa about a meter away from her, giving her space.   
She flicked the TV on and pulled her legs up under her. Horatio’s phone bleeped at him.   
‘H, is Zoë okay? I’ve not heard from you yet.’ The message read under Ryan’s name.   
Zoë looked over at him and then back to the TV. He replied back saying that she was okay, but a little sensitive at the moment. He put his phone away and she began to play with the bandage on her ankle.   
“The knife” she said as she got up. “I’ll be right back.” She said as she walked out and up the stairs. She quickly cleaned up the bathroom and rinsed the knife. She came back downstairs put it in the dishwasher.   
‘What on Earth was I thinking?’ Zoë thought to herself. She cleaned up the rest of the blood droplets on the hall floor and threw the cloth in the bin. She walked back in to the living room.  
“Do you want any tea or coffee? I’m just about to make some tea.” She said softly.   
“Go on then, a coffee would be nice. Thank you.” He said giving her a warm smile.  
She gave him a nod and smiled warmly back at him. She went and made the tea and coffee then walked back through and handed Horatio the mug.   
“Thank you.” He said as he took it and held it with both hands. She sat back down and pulled her feet up under her again. She took a deep breath and exhaled as she settled.   
“Zoë…” Horatio said as he looked over at her, wondering if he should ask her.  
“Yes, Horatio?” She asked, knowing a question was coming.  
“Perhaps it may be a good idea if I took a few days off and you stay with me? I’d feel a lot better about not having to leave you if you were in a vulnerable state and I’d feel better about knowing you weren’t going to accidently burn yourself on the oven or something.” Horatio said softly, looking into her eyes.  
“Oh Horatio, no, I’m sorry, but I literally cannot be the cause of you having to take any more time off. I’m fine, really. Everyone has low points in their lives, I’ll get through it. Thank you though, and I really do appreciate the offer, but I can’t do that.” She said looking back into his eyes.  
“That’s okay sweetheart, it was only a suggestion.” Horatio said softly. She gave him a small smile and then pulled her phone out and texted Ryan, apologising for being in a mood and for worrying him.   
She placed it on the sofa next to her as she took a sip of her tea and went back to watching the TV.  
Ryan immediately texted her back, saying that she’s not to worry about it and that he understands.   
Horatio and Zoë casually chatted, Horatio being mindful of what he said.   
She sipped her tea then placed it back on her lap while she held it, with a smile on her face.   
Horatio had a smile on his face, seeing her happier certainly cheered him up.   
All of a sudden she stopped mid-sentence and her facial expression completely changed from happy and casual to a vacant stare as she seemed to stare at the cushion beside her.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio asked softly, seeing the change in her face. He quickly scooted over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder as his other hand gently took the mug out of her hands so she didn’t spill it. He placed it back on the coffee table and turned back to her as he placed his right hand on the side of her cheek and gently stroked her temple with his thumb.   
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio asked slowly and clearly.   
“Okay beautiful, it’s okay.” Horatio said as he studied her face. She came out of the vacant state about 20 seconds after he had spoken to her, she blinked then looked at Horatio, who still had his hand on her face. Her eyes told him that she was confused.  
He took his hand away and said “sorry sweetheart, you had another blackout.”   
She gave him a nod and looked around.   
“Do you not feel anything before you have one of these?” Horatio asked as he leant back and took his hand off her shoulder.   
“No.” She said still a little confused.   
“How do you feel now?” He asked softly, tilting his head at her giving her a comforting expression.   
“Erm… I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” She said trying to find the right words. “I feel slightly calm, slightly confused, slightly tired, I don’t know, it almost feels dream-like.” She said looking at him confused.   
“Am I dreaming?” She questioned, looking at him.  
“No sweetheart but I think you need to get some rest. You stay here while I make you something to eat, then you’re going to bed.” Horatio said softly.   
“No, it’s okay. I’ll make myself something.” She said shaking her head with a small shy smile.   
“Sweetheart, I insist. What do you want?” He asked as he slowly stood up.   
“I don’t know… some marmite toast?” She asked quietly with a shy smile.   
“Anything else?” He asked softly. She shook her head, still shy. ‘I could have sworn she hated marmite?’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Thank you.” She said looking up at him with soft eyes.   
“Not a problem, you just wait here.” He said softly. She gave him a nod and he walked out into the kitchen while she picked up her tea and sipped it again. She sat back in the sofa and pulled her knees up to her chest.   
Horatio came back in with a plate and two pieces of toast on.   
“Thank you so much.” She said looking up at him with soft eyes.   
“No problem, after eating that, you need to go to bed. If you need anything you ring me, okay? Even if you want to talk or even if you just want someone to sit with you. I don’t mind if it’s 3am in the morning, okay?” Horatio said looking down at her with a warm expression.   
“Okay, thank you.” She said with a smile as he gave her a smile back and then a nod. He let himself out and went home.   
Zoë sat back and ate the toast and finished her tea before making her way upstairs and taking another shower before climbing into bed. She had trouble getting to sleep, it was still early evening though, the sun still hadn’t fully gone down. She put the TV on and watched a comedy show as she fell asleep. She woke an hour and a half later in a sweat having been assaulted with vicious nightmares.   
She got straight up and splashed her face with cold water while she calmed herself down and told herself that it was all a dream.   
She went and made herself another cup of tea and went to sit in bed and watch the TV, a few hours passed and her brain just wouldn’t sleep, a part of her didn’t want to, but she knew that she needed sleep and continued to try. But she just lay there, in the dark room in silence. She put some music on as sometimes it helped her to sleep, but proved no use. Her clock turned to 2am and she still hadn’t slept, she hadn’t even come close since waking up.   
She was getting frustrated so turned the wall lights on and pulled out a book to read, hoping it would tire her eyes out and fall back to sleep quickly. She only found herself wide awake and continuously reading, not wanting to put the book down because she was so absorbed in it. Her clock turned to 4am and she looked over at it and stared at it. She decided it was best if she try and get some sleep again, so put the book down and slid down in the bed and rested. She closed her eyes and relaxed , wrapping her duvet around her.   
She laid there for another hour and still had no sleep. She just didn’t seem to get comfortable. Before she knew it, the sun had risen and had only gotten that disturbed 1 and a half hours sleep that night. She got up and dragged herself downstairs and made a cup of coffee, knowing that she was never going to sleep now. She sat down at the kitchen counter to read a magazine while she drank the coffee. She went back upstairs and had a quick shower before putting on a pair of shorts and a top. She tidied the house and then went to sit outside in the warm sun. She almost instantly fell asleep in the chair and Horatio came over an hour later, he walked outside after checking the house and found her asleep on one of the chairs.   
As he opened the door she woke, hearing something going on and looked around, her eyes settled on a slightly smiling Horatio as he looked at her warmly.   
“Enjoying the sun I see?” He said as he approached her. She sat up in the chair.   
“Yep” she said with a smile, lifting her sunglasses up as she looked over at him and placed them on the top of her head. He saw her tired eyes, he knew she hadn’t slept much, if at all.   
“Not much sleep last night?” Horatio questioned as he sat down.   
“What gave it away?” She said giving him a tired smile.  
“You’re eyes.” He said looking at her tenderly as he leant on the table, clasping his hands together.   
“Should have kept the sunglasses on, ay?” She said as she put them back on properly and gave him a small cheeky grin. He could see that she was already having a better day than yesterday, despite the lack of sleep. She felt happier in herself, although still somewhat tired. He melted seeing her slightly cheeky grin, happy to see the grin he once loved returning slowly.  
“Anything bothering you?” Horatio asked softly, giving her the comforting look.  
“No, it was just one of those nights, you know?” She said softly.   
“Yeah” he said understanding her. She looked down at her watch. “Well, at least I just got another hour.” She said with a smile as she leant back.   
“Sorry for disturbing you.” Horatio apologised.   
“No, don’t worry about it, if I get too much sleep today, I won’t sleep later anyway.” She said with a smile.   
“Do you want a drink or anything?” She asked after he gave her a nod and small smile as he looked down.   
He looked back up at her and kindly declined saying that he had to get back to work, he said he’d be back later to make sure everything was all okay and if she had any problems to call him. She gave him a nod as she walked him to the front door.   
He left for work and she didn’t know what to do with herself. All she could do was read or watch TV, that didn’t seem appealing.   
Everyone had arrived at work and they all got stuck in as they arrived with a fresh dead body waiting for them at the scene. It was an open and close case, very simple and easy to deal with, but Horatio was left with paperwork which held him back at work while Eric and Ryan got away on time.   
Ryan picked up a Chinese takeaway and then drove over to Zoë’s, he knocked on the door and she answered in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a purple short-sleeved shirt. A smile appeared across her face when she saw Ryan standing there.   
“Chinese?” He asked as he held the bag up. She gave him a brilliant smile as she invited him in with a small chuckle. He went through to the kitchen with Zoë closely following behind.   
“You didn’t have to” she said as she gave him a cheeky smile.  
“Well, I know you love Chinese and I love Chinese, I couldn’t be bothered to cook and I figured that you could do with your favourite takeaway. I also promised you one when you were in the hospital.” He said giving her a smile.   
“You are a star, you know that?” She said as she got out two plates. “I’ve been craving for a Chinese all day as well!” She said raising her eyebrows at him as she got out the cutlery.   
“What would you like to drink?” She asked as he got out the tubs and placed them on the counter.   
“What have you got?” He asked.   
“There’s water, orange juice, apple juice, tea or coffee?” She said as she opened the fridge to look in. “Or coke.” She added looking back to him for an answer.   
“Coke?” He asked. “I was thinking the same thing.” She said with a smile as she pulled the bottle of Diet Coke out of the fridge and filled two glasses while Ryan dished up.   
“Is that enough?” Ryan asked as she turned around with the two glasses.   
“Woah, plenty” she said with a beaming smile.   
“Is it okay if we eat it in here? I don’t like Chinese in the living room; it gives it a funny smell, that and Chinese and cream sofa’s don’t go well together...” She asked.   
“Of course” Ryan said with a smile as Zoë handed in the glass of coke.   
“Thank you Ryan.” She said with a smile as she sat at the island counter.   
“Not a problem.” He said with a smile, still missing how she’d call him pretty boy. He observed her eating and drinking. ‘She’s even holding the knife and fork differently, it’s no big deal… but even the smallest of things have changed.’ Ryan thought to himself.  
They ate and casually had a conversation; both enjoying each other’s company.   
Horatio drove past her house and saw Ryan’s car, he knew she was in good hands so didn’t need to check in on her and went home to rest after the long and hectic day.   
Ryan and Zoë cleared up and went through to the living room, still chatting and enjoying each other’s company. She flicked the TV on and scrolled through as they continued to talk; she pulled her feet up under her as she half-faced Ryan and half-faced the TV.   
“Anything you want on in particular?” She asked as she grinned at him.   
“Anything you want.” He replied sweetly.   
“Well, I don’t think you’d enjoy Dirty Dancing, so I suggest you tell me something you like, or we’ll end up watching something that you’ll absolutely hate.” She said looking at him. “Oh wait, you may like Dirty Dancing, it seems up your street pretty boy.” She said giving him a very cheeky grin.   
‘Pretty boy? She called me pretty boy?!’ Ryan almost shouted in his head, extremely happy.   
“Hey, I couldn’t tell you whether I’d like it or not, I’ve not seen it. But… if anything is in the title…” He said looking over at her with a cheeky grin himself.   
“No, it’s nothing like that!” She said as her grin widened and she chuckled a little. “You need to clear your head!” She laughed again.   
Ryan chuckled a little bit. “Okay sorry, how about ’10 Things I Hate About You?’ is that any good?” Ryan asked looking at the screen.   
“I really don’t think you’d like that, I don’t even like it.” She said scrolling down a little more.   
“Friends with Benefits?” Ryan questioned looking round to her, with another cheeky smile and a small wink.  
“Hmm… not sure about that one.” She said, not picking up on his joke.   
“I bet you just picked that one out because it obviously has sex in…” Zoë grinned at him.  
“Well… you can’t blame me, can you?” Ryan chuckled.  
“We need to get you a lady friend and quick…” Zoë chuckled looking round to him.  
“Or a friend… with benefits?” Ryan grinned cheekily.  
“I think you’re more of a relationship guy… even if you did have a friend with benefits, I’m sure you’d end up in a relationship with the lady.” Zoë smiled at him, wondering why he had such hard luck when it came to love.  
“I wouldn’t complain.” Ryan grinned at her, hinting.   
“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t.” Zoë grinned as she looked back to the screen, oblivious to his signals. He knew he wasn’t getting anywhere. ‘Is it even acceptable to ask her out? I couldn’t do that to H, could I? But what if she agreed? I’ve wanted her just as long as he has…’ Ryan thought to himself. ‘What if I don’t outright ask her out but joke about friends with benefits with her?’ Ryan questioned, wondering how he could subtly ask her.  
“So… have you ever had a friend with benefits?” He questioned with a smile, looking round to her.  
“No, only relationships” she said proudly, looking back to him. “You?” She asked.  
“No… but I wouldn’t mind experiencing it with someone I trust and was close to…” Ryan said softly.  
“Really?” She asked, curious.  
“Yeah…” Ryan said with a smile.  
“So, who would that be? Don’t say Eric…” She grinned cheekily.  
“Definitely not Eric…” Ryan grinned with a small chuckle.  
“So who would it be?” Zoë asked, trying to think of any female friend he was close with. ‘He wouldn’t with Alexx, would he?’ She thought in her head.   
“Err…. You?” Ryan asked with a cheeky smile.  
“Me?” She asked, confused, thinking he was going to say Alexx, she didn’t even consider herself in the equation.  
“Yeah?” Ryan asked, a little more shyly.  
“Alright, sure” She said looking round to him and his eyes widened, thinking he’d misheard her, but he felt this overwhelming happiness inside and already felt himself beginning to energise in his trousers.  
“What? Really?” Ryan asked looking at her intensely, all thoughts of Horatio were out of the window.  
“No, of course not, Ryan! Do you not know me at all? I was joking.” She said, horrified by such a thing.   
“I thought so.” Ryan said with a small smile, hiding his hurt.   
“Did you actually believe me?” She questioned, lowering her eyebrows.  
“Half and half, initially I thought I’d misheard you but then you had that facial expression…. You know, you’d be brilliant at poker…” Ryan said with a smile.  
“I’ve been told that before. You’re a lovely guy Ryan, but I just don’t do friends with benefits. I’m positive that you have ladies swooning at you all the time.” She chuckled.  
“You’re wrong there, Eric’s the one who has the ladies.” Ryan said softly.  
“I’m slightly surprised at that.” She said brushing it off, certain that he usually had a girl on the go.  
“How?” Ryan questioned.  
“Well, you’re good looking, smart and funny… I’m surprised you’ve not been snapped up yet.” Zoë said seriously looking round to him. A smile appeared across his face, happy to be hearing such compliments coming from Zoë’s mouth.  
“Well I’ve not been snapped up… prepared to offer?” Ryan grinned again, this time sarcastically. Zoë’s face seemed to drop, she’d got herself into the middle of it.  
“Er… I didn’t mean that… what… erm… I couldn’t deal with a relationship at the moment Ryan. There’s too much going on and I’m still trying to get myself back on track…” She said looking at him.  
“Don’t worry, I was the one joking this time.” Ryan grinned, seeing a flicker of hope in her words. ‘I couldn’t deal with a relationship at the moment Ryan.’ Ran through his head, seeing the potential for something to be there. She grinned at him and playfully slapped his arm.  
“I guess I deserved that one.” She grinned at him.  
“How about Shutter Island?” Ryan asked seeing it on the screen as he briefly looked back at it with a smile on his face.   
“Sure, I can’t really remember what it’s about, but I think it was good.” She said as she clicked it. “Have you seen it?” She asked.   
“Nope, I’ve only heard of it.” Ryan said with a smile. ‘What about H? Could I really sabotage my friendship with him just to experience going out with Zoë? I hate to say it, but I think I would. I think I’d give up any of my friendships to be with her, if the roles were reversed and I was in his shoes… I wouldn’t want to see her with any other person, but… I actually think I love her. But if he was in my shoes, he’d want to be with her and would go behind my back, wouldn’t he? No, he wouldn’t. I don’t think H could do anything like that. What do I do? The situation couldn’t be any worse. Do I stop seeing her and hope that she’d forget about anything that was said, or do I carry on and risk losing H, but potentially gaining Zoë? Surely he’d understand. He can’t stop her from doing what she wants. If I was in his shoes, I’d want her to be happy, even if it meant seeing her with someone else. If the situation was different and they had split through another reason, I know she’d be out of bounds to me, but this situation is like no other, there’s not really a social protocol to his, is there? I mean, she doesn’t remember being with him, surely that gives her the right to fall for anyone? That anyone being me?’ Ryan thought to himself.  
They continued to talk through the film until they both found themselves engrossed in the film, becoming silent. It was coming to the end of the film when Ryan glanced over at Zoë who was sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Ryan smiled, knowing that she was exhausted; he could see it in her eyes. He pulled a blanket from the chair the other side of the room and gently covered her while he turned the TV off. He didn’t want to wake her.   
“Goodnight sugar” he said softly and then silently left. It was dark outside and Ryan went home and sorted himself out, still smiling to himself having had a wonderful evening.   
She woke early the next morning, feeling refreshed. Once she realised that she was still in her living room, she sat up and pulled the blanket off her with a smile as she realised that Ryan must have covered her.   
She got up and folded the blanket up before heading upstairs to have a shower after putting the house surround system on, playing music.   
She heard Horatio enter as the system greeted him, she jumped out of the shower and dried herself before running through to her bedroom to quickly find some clothes. He knocked on her door.   
“2 Minutes, I’ll meet you downstairs, just getting changed.” She said loudly through the door.   
“Sure.” Horatio called back through and made his way downstairs.   
She pulled on her underwear and then grabbed the nearest clothes to her – a pair of leggings and a pink and black checkered shirt. She made her way down the stairs as she tied up her wet hair.   
“Mute” she ordered the system as she went through to the living room where Horatio was stood at the window.   
“Hey, sorry – I had just gotten out of the shower.” She said with a smile as he studied her outfit.   
“I know, I just threw them on. It’s not a bad combination actually.” She said looking down at the leggings and shirt. Horatio chuckled a little as he gave her a smile, she’d already brightened up his morning. She flicked a strand of wet hair out of her face and then turned around to walk through to the kitchen. His eyes dropped to her ass, wanting her clothes off.  
“Do you want a coffee?” She asked as she filled the kettle up. He quickly discarded the thoughts from his head.  
“No thank you; just popped round to see if you were okay and if you finally got some sleep.” Horatio asked softly as he stood fiddling with his sunglasses, with something playing on his mind.   
“Are you okay?” She asked casually as she flicked the kettle on and put a tea bag in the mug, she was completely oblivious to his discomfort.  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He said giving her a small smile.   
“Are you sure?” She asked warmly as she leant on the counter, finally hearing some unease in his voice.   
“Yes, I’m good.” He said and gave her a nod as he put his sunglasses away, sensing that they had partially given away his unease. In all honesty, his mind was set on when he drove past last night to find Ryan’s car there. He wanted to trust that Ryan hadn’t made any moves towards Zoë, knowing that he still had feelings for her. But he didn’t know what to think.   
“How are you feeling today?” He asked softly, hoping she’d give him any clues indicating something about last night and whether Ryan stayed. ‘Stop being irrational, she wouldn’t just get into bed with him, you know her better than that. You know she wouldn’t.’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Really good thank you, I got a full night’s sleep and no longer feel exhausted!” She said with a smile, it didn’t ease Horatio. ‘She did spend the night with him? No she couldn’t have, she wouldn’t have… but… she is different, perhaps that part of her has changed and she did sleep with him? It is her choice though, I can’t stop her doing these things and living her life.’ Horatio thought with his heart pounding, just imagining both her and Ryan together and it sent a chill down his spine.   
“I did fall asleep on the sofa though, so I’ve got a little bit of a bad neck. But the full night’s sleep helped!” She said pouring the kettle.   
“On the sofa?” Horatio questioned curiously.   
“Yeah, Ryan came round last night to keep me company, we sat down to watch some TV and I just fell asleep, next thing I know I’m waking up on the sofa and it’s morning.” She said with a smile as she stirred the tea. ‘Thank God, I don’t know what I would have done.’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Ah, I hope you had a good evening.” Horatio said with a small smile, happy that nothing happened. Even if it did, he would have had no control over it as it was Zoë’s decision and if it meant her being happy he was willing to sacrifice.   
“Yeah, you should have come over too, we had a Chinese, and still got plenty left over to feed an army!” She said with a smile as she threw the tea bag away and put some sugar into the tea then the milk and stirred some more.   
“Had a busy day yesterday, I fell asleep quite quickly myself.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
“Ah, so we both got a good sleep then” she said with a smile as she leant on the counter. Horatio nodded, knowing that he didn’t get a good sleep at all, he missed having her in the bed with him and she didn’t even know it. He didn’t want to push her though. He was now stuck in the situation that he hadn’t told her and the longer he left it, it was getting harder and harder. He didn’t want to upset the healthy equilibrium their friendship was at. He was afraid of pushing her away.  
“Do you remember when my appointment is with Nathan? I’ve lost track of the days.” She said with a small chuckle and a smile.   
“Yes, not tomorrow, but the day after at 9.45am.” Horatio said as he looked at his watch to double check the date.   
“Okay, thank you. I tell you what, being off work always throws me with the days and dates!” She said with a smile and then took a sip. Horatio chuckled a little as he looked down.   
He looked back up about 5 seconds later “I’ll be here to pick you up at 9.15, is that okay?” He asked warmly.   
“Oh, you don’t need to do that, I can drive.” She said giving him a reassuring look.   
“There’s no way I’m letting you drive until Nathan clears you, you’re still having those vacant moments, that’s dangerous coupled with driving, you know that.”  
“Yes, but I haven’t had one since being with you that time.”   
“Sweetheart, you don’t even know when you’ve had one; you could have had 10 more since then and not even noticed. I don’t have to take you, but someone does. I’m sure Wolfe won’t mind.” Horatio said softly.   
“I suppose you’re right.” She said knowing it’s the truth. “No, I’d rather it be you, you’ve been here 100% of the way and know about everything that’s gone on.” She said, feeling slightly more comfortable talking about this sort of stuff with Horatio rather than anyone else.   
“Okay sweetheart, that’s fine. I’ll see you a little later.” He said with a smile.   
“I’ll see you later; have a good day at work.” She said with a smile as she walked him out holding her cup of tea. He gave her a nod and then left for work as she closed the door and went back into the kitchen and finished her tea. She went back upstairs and put the towel in the washing bin and dried her hair. She went to sit down in the living room and put some music on while she read a magazine.   
She found herself becoming extremely bored again so she got up and went for a stroll down the beach, she let Horatio know so that a repeat of last time didn’t happen. She loved the feeling of the soft, hot sand give way under her feet. She returned 30 minutes later and decided that she’d do some more sunbathing while she had the time to, so she changed and went outside. She laid on the deck chair and took her cast off to try and get an even tan, she didn’t do anything but place the arm beside her as she laid down with her hair messily tied up with her aviator sunglasses on.   
She always found that she could easily lay in the sun and shade for a long time, but could never stay still indoors. She alternated between sun and shade while applying the sun cream often. She then remembered to text Ryan and thanked him for the Chinese and apologised for falling asleep while he was still there. She put her phone down and then went back to sunbathing.   
She got a message back saying that it was not a problem and that it was a good evening. She sent back that she agreed and then asked how work was going. She then flipped round and began to lay on her front and sunbathe when her wrist began to ache, so she put the cast back on.   
‘Well, at least it got a bit of sun’ She thought to herself as she picked up a Sudoku book and began to do the puzzles. She found she got through them just as easily as she used to, so she thought she obviously wasn’t mentally impaired and should be allowed back to work soon.   
She went back indoors to change and cool off and grab a bite to eat before texting Horatio that she was going back out. She then got a text off Ryan again saying that work wasn’t particularly busy and it was a relatively slow day, with an on-going case. Before she could leave she got a text off Horatio asking where she was going and that she wasn’t to drive as she didn’t specify where she was going.   
She told him that she was just going out and that he wasn’t to worry. Obviously, Horatio worried and phoned her from his office.   
“Hello?” She said knowing she was going to be grilled by Horatio.  
“Zoë, I need to know where you’re going.” He said softly but with urgency.   
“I’m just going out, don’t worry, I’m not driving.” She said reassuring him.   
“Zoë, you know that you’re not 100% recovered and it could prove to be dangerous if you go out on your own, especially if you don’t tell me where you’re going.” Horatio said cautiously, yet worried.   
“I know, I’m just walking down to the shop, I knew you wouldn’t let me go if I told you.” She said as she put her keys down, losing all hope of even going out now. But she couldn’t just let him worry.   
“Wait until one of us finishes, one of us can take you after work.” Horatio said softly, happy that she had told him.   
“I can’t expect any of you to do any more for me, especially you Horatio; you’ve all done far too much for me.” She said as she went through to the living room and slumped down.   
“I certainly don’t mind, I know that Ryan and Eric don’t mind either. Sweetheart, we’re happy to help out. You’d do the same for us, and don’t you deny it.” He said with a small smile at the end of the phone. He heard her exhale a small chuckle and he knew he had her.   
“I know, I know. But–”  
“No but’s, one of us will take you. So just hold on for a few more hours and then you can go.” Horatio said softly. She exhaled and said “okay” shaking her head, knowing that he had gotten around her.   
“Do you promise me?” Horatio asked.   
“I promise.” She said with a smile at the end of the phone.   
“Okay then, I’ll see you later.” Horatio said softly.   
“I’ll see you later.” She said with a smile as they hung up. Horatio asked Ryan and Eric that if either of them were free and left work before him if they could drive Zoë to the shop. They both said “of course” as they nodded at him and he gave them a nod back and went back to his office.  
Zoë tried to keep herself occupied until Ryan nipped over and knocked on the door. She answered and he asked if she was ready to go. She nodded and picked up her bag and keys and shut the door behind her.   
“Have you been sunbathing again?” He asked looking at her in a peculiar way.   
“Yes.” She said with a smile giving him a peculiar look.   
“Ah, I thought so, you do look a little more tanned.” He said as they got in the car, Ryan texted Horatio and Eric to say that he was taking Zoë to the shop.   
“Now, where to?” He asked as he put his phone away.   
“Just the shop down the road.” Zoë said softly, giving him a smile.   
“Thank you for doing this Ryan, I wouldn’t have asked if Horatio hadn’t have insisted that he or someone else took me.” She said raising an eyebrow as they backed off the drive.   
“Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure.” Ryan said with a smile at her and then looked back at the road as he began to drive off.   
They casually chatted and arrived at the shop where Zoë picked up a few things like fresh bread, milk, orange juice, crisps and some bits for dinner. They drove back, still casually chatting and enjoying each other’s company. Ryan parked back up on her drive and helped her with the shopping, she offered for him to stay, but he said that he had some paperwork to catch up on. Zoë thanked him and he left and headed home.   
She put some dinner on and went to chill for a while, until dinner was cooked. She dished it up - she had made a proper meal; chicken, rice and vegetables. She sat down in the living room and watched TV while she ate. Once finished she cleared up and put the dishwasher on before disappearing upstairs to have a relaxing bath while music played through the surround system.  
She put the jets on in the bath, relaxed and then washed her hair. She heard a knock at the door and sighed. She turned the jets off and began to get out of the bath as the system greeted Horatio. Her eyes widened as she jumped out of the bath and pulled the towel off the railing and let the water out before running down the hall. Horatio heard her running and looked up the stairs.   
“Zoë?” He called, slightly worried about hearing her run.  
“I’ll be right down.” She said loudly as she quickly ran into her bedroom and closed the door.   
She quickly towel dried herself and pulled on her underwear and bra, then her joggers and a t-shirt and then quickly made her way downstairs.   
“Sorry Horatio! That’s the second time today you’ve caught me.” She said with a grin as he greeted her with a smile as she held her joggers up, not wanting to ask him to do them up for her again.  
“No, I’m sorry.” He said as he observed her darker tan.   
“You’ve been sunbathing haven’t you?” He said with a small grin.   
“Wow, this tan really is starting to come along again after all that time with no sun!” She said with a smile. He smiled as he looked down at the floor.   
“Do you want a drink?” She said as she opened the fridge.   
“A quick one, please” he said with a smile looking up at her.   
“What do you want?” She asked as she turned to look at him.   
“Whatever you’re having” he said with a small shy smile.   
“Orange juice it is.” She said as she pulled the carton out and poured two glasses of orange and handed one to Horatio.  
“Thank you.” He said with a smile. She leant on the island counter and looked over at him as he casually leant back against the side counter.   
“How’s your day been then?” She asked with a smile as she took a few more sips of the orange juice.  
“Not too bad, got a lot of paperwork done, on the verge of a break with this on-going case though.” He said looking over at her warmly.   
She heard the TV flick on and went to turn it back off as Horatio stayed in the kitchen.   
She walked through to the dimly lit living room and picked the remote up from the coffee table to turn it off. She turned around, at the other end of the room she saw the glowing eyes of a dog and then a man appeared from in the dark, stepping closer towards her. She couldn’t make out the man’s face as she stared at him intensely.   
“Horatio!” She called as her heart pounded.  
Her eyes widened as he let go of the canines leash and it jumped over the sofa, bearing its teeth, snarling and charging for her.


	18. Chapter 18

Horatio saw the vacant expression appear on her face again, after he had answered her question about work; he placed his glass on the side and stepped towards her. She shouted Horatio’s name again as she dropped the glass of orange and it smashed on the floor in front of them as she found herself back in the kitchen with Horatio. She took a deep breath as she stepped back and raised her hand to her head, breathing erratically. She looked down at the floor, trying to make sense of everything.   
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Horatio asked worried. She looked up at him and blinked a few times before calming her breathing down and running her hand through her hair. She gave him a nod and then looked down at the mess she had just made.   
“What happened?” He asked stepping closer to her again, being weary of his actions.   
“Nothing… I don’t know.” She said looking up at him, confused herself.   
“Okay sweetheart, I think it’s time you get some rest.” Horatio said softly, lightly placing his hand on her shoulder.  
“I need to clean this up first.” She said as she slowly moved from him and stepped around him as she crouched down and began to pick up the large shards of glass. She calmed herself down, telling herself that it never happened and wasn’t real. Horatio crouched down beside her and began to pick the glass up too.   
“Horatio, you don’t need to be doing this.” She said as she stopped at looked over at him.   
“But I want to.” He simply said as he carried on picking the glass up. She exhaled, feeling bad that Horatio was helping clear mess that she’d made and carried on. Once they got all of the glass they threw it in the bin and Zoë cleaned and wiped the orange juice up.   
“Sorry about that Horatio.” She said as she rinsed the cloth out and placed it in the sink.   
“It’s okay.” He said searching her eyes for the truth, but didn’t find anything. She looked okay, he saw that she was okay in her eyes, but asked her anyway.   
“I’m fine Horatio, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you; I guess it was another one of those blackout things.” She said softly, reassuring him that she was okay.   
“Okay…” He said slowly, not sure whether to believe her or not. He just carried on looking at her, willing her to talk to him. ‘She’s never said anything while she had a blackout before…’ Horatio thought to himself, unsure if it was a blackout.  
She chuckled slightly saying “I’m really okay” reassuringly.   
“Okay, just get some rest and if you need or want anything, I’m just down the road. Okay?” Horatio said warmly as he tilted his head and looked at her sideways.   
“Yes, okay. Thank you Horatio.” She said as she walked him out, looking into the living room as she went. He saw her do this.   
“What’s wrong?” He asked.   
“Nothing” she said with a smile as she looked back at him.   
“Zoë, I know you a lot better than you think…” He said raising his eyebrows.   
“What makes you say that?” She said smiling at him.   
“Because I know when there’s something bothering you, like there is now.” Horatio said lightly as he steadily exhaled.   
“There’s nothing bothering me and anyway, if there was, what makes you think that I’d say anything, you wouldn’t share the other day when there was obviously something bothering you.” She said, trying to be sarcastic, again, it wasn’t working well for her. “Two can play at that game, Lieutenant.” She said raising her eyebrows, trying to get her sarcasm across.   
“If you don’t want to share with me, that’s fine, I’m not going to make you. But I just want to make sure that you’re really okay.” He said looking back up at her with raised eyebrows, giving her a comforting look, not picking up on her sarcasm.  
“I know, I’m messing with you. I’m really okay though, there’s nothing to worry about.” She said, knowing that he wasn’t getting the message.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said softly as he opened the door with a smile, happy she was trying to get her sarcasm back.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She replied as she closed the door after him.   
She poured Horatio’s left over orange juice away and washed it up then went upstairs and got changed for bed; she was tired so thought an early night would do her some good.   
She climbed into bed and began to read a book, an hour later she snuggled down and slowly fell asleep.   
The next morning she woke at around 5, she opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. She already knew it was going to be a long day. She didn’t want to get out of bed, so she just laid there for an hour until there was a knock at the door. She sighed and contemplated not even getting up to see who it was. But she got up anyway and threw the duvet off her and got up. She slowly walked downstairs as the door began to open, she knew it was Horatio. He walked in and then saw Zoë appear from the stairs, he instantly knew that she wasn’t in a good mood.   
“I’m sorry; I didn’t wake you, did I?” Horatio asked very softly, immediately quietening his voice and softening his stance. He knew she was awake though as the light was on, which is why he knocked.   
“No, I was awake already." She said as she stood at the bottom of the stairs, she couldn’t care less that she had next to nothing on, just a small pair of shorts and a small top. Horatio wanted to ask her how she was, but knew that that very question could create more damage than good. She walked through to the kitchen as Horatio’s eyes rested on her backside as she walked; he followed her through and then stopped himself from looking at her ass, thinking it was disrespectful to her.   
“Sweetheart, do you want to talk about anything?” Horatio asked in a very calm demeanour.   
She didn’t even seem to hear him speak.  
“Zoë?” Horatio called, seeing her carry on as if she hadn’t heard him. He wasn’t sure if she was just ignoring him. He approached her and placed his hand on her arm “Zoë?” Horatio asked again and she looked up at him with a placid expression.   
“Do you want to talk about anything?” He asked again, calmly.  
She looked up at him, she knew she wasn’t feeling happy and she knew that he knew. She didn’t know what she wanted again, a part of her didn’t want to talk, but a part of her wanted to. He saw the conflict in her eyes  
“Do you want a drink?” She asked, trying to change the subject.   
“No thank you, I’ve just had one before I left.” Horatio said softly, giving her a warm, comforting smile. She didn’t seem to be in a particularly bad mood, but wasn’t happy. She looked down at the island counter, not knowing what to do, all she wanted to do was go back to bed and lay there for the rest of the day.   
“I have some time if you want to talk about anything, or I can go?” Horatio asked softly, tilting his head at her, not sure what the best thing is to do. She looked up at him with soft, placid eyes and he again saw the conflict.   
“I don’t know.” She simply said, not wanting to push him away, but also not wanting to talk. Horatio was having a hard time judging her and trying to work out what she wanted.   
“Okay sweetheart, how about we sit in the living room, and you can talk if you feel like it, or if not, you don’t have to.” Horatio said softly, not needing to be at work yet, he was always early and it didn’t matter if he didn’t get in early, he just had to be there on time. She gave him a small nod and they walked through to the living room. She sat on the sofa in her spot and pulled her legs up under her as Horatio sat on the sofa about a meter away.   
She flicked the TV on and sat there for a moment, thinking to herself. Trying to pull herself out of the unhappy mood.   
“We have that appointment tomorrow, don’t we?” She asked looking over to him.  
“Yes we do.” Horatio said with a warm tone looking over at her. Zoë shifted in the seat to make herself more comfortable when she grimaced, feeling a sharp pain on her back. Horatio noticed this and immediately grew concerned.   
“Are you okay?” He asked looking over at her.   
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said as she rubbed the sore part, she wasn’t sure why she was getting pain. It felt like a bruise, but she hadn’t hit or knocked her back on anything to cause a bruise to develop.   
“I’ll erm… I’ll be right back.” She said as she got up, Horatio gave her a nod, wanting to go with her to check that she was okay, but knew that she needed her space and privacy. She walked through to the downstairs bathroom to look in the mirror but it was too high. She walked back out and went up the stairs and into her room where she opened the curtains and then pulled her top up and backed up close to the full length mirror getting a look at her back. She could see a large dark bruise developing, but hadn’t had the slightest clue as to where it had come from. It covered the lower back in the middle and to the right slightly. It was tender and slightly sore as she gently felt it, she had been there for 5 minutes studying it and she didn’t even realise until Horatio gently knocked on the door. He came in and she quickly pulled her top down as he looked over at her.   
“Are you okay?” He questioned softly as he stepped closer to her.   
“Yeah, I’m fine; it’s just a small bruise.” She said softly and she then looked down, not wanting to make eye contact.   
“Can I take a look?” Horatio asked cautiously, not really knowing where the boundaries were any longer.   
“I’m okay, it’s nothing really.” She said as she looked back up at him, he knew from her facial expression that she wanted him to leave it.   
“Okay sweetheart, do you want to go back downstairs?” Horatio questioned as he looked at her with a tilted head as she stood sideways, giving her a caring expression.   
“Yeah, I’ll be right down. I’m just going to get changed.” She said softly.   
Horatio gave her a nod and walked out closing the door behind him and went back down to sit in the living room.   
She put a large pair of joggers on and a large t-shirt and went back downstairs, holding the joggers up. She gave him a small smile as she gingerly sat back down on the sofa, making sure that she leant on the left side of her back, rather than the right. She still couldn’t work out where she had got it from.   
“I’m sorry Horatio; I know I’m probably not the best company at the moment.” She said as she gave him a small smile.   
“Not to worry about it sweetheart, I don’t mind.” Horatio said softly, looking at her tenderly. She gave him a shy smile and looked back over to the TV. She tried to cheer herself up, she knew she looked like a misery so did her best to pipe up. She started a conversation, starting out quiet and shy. Before long, she seemed to generally perk up and smile at him.   
She looked at her watch and reminded him that he should get going.   
They said bye and Horatio left in a rush to get to work, but happy that he could help.   
Zoë made herself a cup of tea and before long she was feeling a little low again. She went back upstairs and climbed back into bed after closing the curtains. She seemed quite content to just lay in bed, watching the TV when she’d usually be itching to go out and do something. The duvet was still all screwed up on the other side of the bed as it was too hot to be covered.  
Before long her clock turned to 3.30 in the afternoon as she lay there and stared at it. She rolled over as her thoughts began to grow wild.  
‘Will Nathan let me go back to work? What if he doesn’t? What am I going to do? What if I can’t ever go back to work? Going back to work will help me, I know it will. Staying home isn’t helping me at all, all I’m doing is stewing in my own thoughts and emotions and it’s making me worse, I swear it! It’ll give me something to concentrate on, it’ll give me something to do. Why has this happened?’ She thought to herself as a few tears fell from her eyes.  
‘Why am I getting so emotional about such trivial things? Why can’t I just stop crying all the time? What have I become? A moron who can’t control her emotions? Why is this happening? What has my life become? I’m nothing, I’m worthless. I can’t even tie my own joggers up, how moronic can I get?   
She took a few deep breaths and dried her tears with her sleeves, ‘pull yourself together, Zoë! Stop wallowing in self-pity and grow up, life isn’t easy, just get on with it you pathetic excuse for a woman.’ She told herself. 5 minutes later she heard a knock at the door and dragged herself out of the bed, dabbing at her eyes as she walked downstairs, trying to get rid of any evidence that she had been crying.   
Ryan was stood on the doorstep and she knew he’d pick up on the fact that she had been crying. She thought about quickly pulling on her sunglasses but that would raise suspicion almost instantly and seemed like a completely stupid thing to think. She answered the door and only looked him in the eyes for a few seconds before looking down, she invited him in and he cautiously entered, knowing that this morning that she wasn’t in a happy mood and wasn’t sure how she was feeling now. He knew that something was up by the way she didn’t want to look him in the eye. He walked through to the kitchen and she followed him through after shutting the door.   
She was still in her t-shirt and joggers. She looked down, still not wanting to make eye contact, she pulled her joggers up.  
He knew she was upset and he hated to see her like it, he wanted to comfort her and make it all better, but he wasn’t sure whether she’d appreciate it.   
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked very softly, lowering his head to try and make eye contact. Even that question made a lump in her throat develop. She swallowed trying to keep a lid on her emotions and Ryan saw her struggling to keep it together. He immediately regretted asking her if she was okay.   
She just nodded at him as she turned around and wiped the tears that were about to fall from her eyes. ‘What the hell is going on with me?!’ She thought getting frustrated with herself.   
‘Just stop being so pathetic and childish!’ She thought again as Ryan slowly approached her cautiously. She heard him coming closer to her and she glanced back saying “I’m okay” as she looked back away and dried another tear with her thumb and took a deep breath, still trying to hold it all back. Ryan very delicately placed a hand on her shoulder.   
“I’m sorry Ryan.” She said exhaling a broken breath.   
“You don’t need to apologise, it’s okay.” He reassured her, gently rubbing her shoulder and top half of her back. It just sent her emotions into a frenzy as more tears began to fall, more she held her tears back, the more they wanted to fall.  
“Come here, come on.” Ryan said softly, inviting her in for a hug. She felt like she needed a hug and immediately turned around and fell against him as his arms protectively wrapped around her as she wrapped her arms around his waist, inside his jacket. He felt her chest rise and fall erratically as her breathing was unsteady and jumpy. She put her forehead against his neck as he gently raised his right hand and placed it on the side of her head and lightly brushed her hair back out of her face and rested his hand on the side of her head.   
“I don’t know what’s going on with me Ryan.” She said still upset as her voice broke at a few points.   
“It’s okay; it’s all going to be okay.” He said quietly against her head. She let go of his waist with her right hand as she brought it up and wiped the tears away as she tried to calm her breathing down.   
“Okay?” Ryan asked very lightly as she slowly nodded against his chest and neck. She still felt like she was on the verge of bursting again. The tears had finally stopped but she was still quite upset and breathing was still a little erratic. Her head began to pound as she felt like tears were going to fall again. She took a deep breath as she willed the tears back and wiped her eyes again, resting her hand against his chest. Her mind was still racing with thoughts which seemed to fly out of nowhere, causing confusion.   
‘He probably thinks I’m weak and pathetic, he’s not going to want to be friends with someone like me. None of them are, pull yourself together, I can’t lose them, especially Horatio and Ryan.’ She thought as she fought the tears back as Ryan felt her tense up, knowing that she was thinking hard. ‘What if I can never drive again? I’d be a burden to Horatio and Ryan, I’d have to move away into a small village where everything was in walking distance. What will I do with myself if I’m deemed mentally unstable to work because of all of this stupid crying? I’d be nothing, just like my father predicted, I have to prove him wrong, he’s not going to win this one.’ Her stress levels were rising quite rapidly as he felt her tense up even more.  
‘Why do I feel so alone? I know Horatio will be there, I’m not so sure about Ryan… but Horatio, he means what he says. I feel isolated, like no-one but Horatio cares. Probably because no-one cares. I’m sure Horatio is just putting up a front. Why can’t Mike still be here? I need him, I need him to be holding me.’ Ryan gently rubbed the back of her head with his thumb, in hope of comforting her.   
“Just take a deep breath sugar.” He said softly against her head as he continued to stroke the back of her head with his thumb.  
She lifted her head from his neck and looked him in the eyes as she gave him a small smile, her eyes jumped from his eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes again.


	19. Chapter 19

His heart skipped a beat as she closed her eyes and looked down as she exhaled. She slowly began to bring her face closer to his as he closed his eyes automatically as he slowly brought his closer to hers.  
Her lips lightly made contact with his as she kissed him. She moved her hand up to his neck as he tenderly kissed her back. His mind grew erratic as thoughts flew into his head.  
‘She’s kissing me? Zoë’s kissing me? What? This can’t be happening. Just keep your eyes closed, this could all be a dream. I hope it’s not. I need to feel her beneath my hands, will she allow me?’ He thought as he concentrated on kissing her.  
She kissed him a little firmer as he pulled her body in closer to his.   
‘She allowed me, does this mean that something will happen? Will we go all the way? Oh God, to be in bed with Zoë… that… that would make my life. She’s right here in my arms.’ He thought to himself.  
They then began to part their lips as she ran her fingers through his hair. Their breathing fastened as Ryan’s hand dropped from her head and slowly travelled down her back to rest on her left hip. She focused on his top lip, he lightly turned her and pushed her back against the counter as his other hand slowly travelled up and lightly placed it on the side of her face and head. He pushed himself up against her, feeling her body against his, loving the feeling.  
Ryan felt himself stir in his trousers as she pulled his t-shirt away from his jeans and ran her fingertips around to his back and mid-way up his spine, pulling his shirt partially up. Her stress and worries seemed to float away.   
He dropped his hands to her ass and pulled her in even closer, pressing her against him. His right hand moved from her ass and pulled her t-shirt away and let his hand travel up to the fabric of her bra, his left quickly doing the same, feeling her soft skin under his slightly rough hands.   
Suddenly his thoughts came to a halt as he realised what was really happening, for a moment, he thought it was all a dream, but it was really happening. ‘Horatio! I can’t do this to him, I really thought I could, but I can’t. This is Zoë, she doesn’t deserve this, Horatio’s been through just as much as her, he doesn’t need or deserve this either. I can’t do this.’ Ryan immediately thought, feeling incredibly guilty.  
“Zoë?” He asked as he briefly broke the kiss. She opened her eyes and looked up at Ryan, she immediately pushed him back raising both of her hands to her mouth, realising herself what had just happened. She shook her head as she took a deep breath. He saw the shock in her eyes and immediately removed his hands.  
“Ryan… I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I…” She stopped herself as she ran her hands through her hair looking at him completely shocked and horrified, she even began to tremble slightly.  
“I don’t know how that happened… I’m so sorry Ryan, please forgive me. I… I don’t… I didn’t.” She found herself getting stressed again. “I’m so sorry.” She said again as she covered her face in horror and shook her head.   
“Don’t… don’t worry about it.” Ryan said as he caught his breath questioning why he’d stop something like that from happening, quickly remembering why and felt bad again.  
“I don’t know what came over me.” She said shaking her head as she again ran her hands through her hair. She didn’t know what to say or what to do.   
Ryan got his stirring loins under control and said again “don’t worry about it.”   
“I… can we please forget this ever happened? I really am so sorry.” She said looking up at him, he could tell that she was just as shocked as he was.   
Ryan didn’t know what to say, it’s what he’s wanted for a very long time, but all he could think about was Horatio.  
“Ye-yes, of course. It’s okay, don’t be sorry. I understand.” Zoë looked at him softly and gave him a small shy nod.   
“This… this isn’t going to come between us, is it?” Ryan asked, worried that it could have perhaps ruined the perfect dynamics of their friendship.   
“No of course it’s not. Just try and forget it happened, please.” She pleaded, still horrified. ‘What the hell?!’ She shouted at herself, questioning how and why such a thing would happen.  
Ryan gave her a nod. “Please don’t say anything to anyone.” She said softly.  
“Of course not” Ryan replied as he gave her a nod.   
“I think erm… perhaps it’s best if you get back to work…” She said shyly.  
“Yeah” he replied.  
“Thank you for coming round though.” She said, confused and unable to think properly.  
“You’re welcome?” he said with a small smile, not knowing what else to say. She stepped forwards to show him out and he followed. She opened the door for him and he stepped out.   
“Again, I’m so sorry, I really don’t want anything to change between us though, okay?” She asked.  
“It’s okay, nothing will change, don’t worry.” Ryan said as he turned around and gave her a small reassuring smile.   
She gave him a nod as he turned around and walked over to his car as his mind began to wander again. She closed the door as he got in and instantly started to think to herself.   
‘What on Earth where you thinking!? You idiot! An absolute moron, he’s just trying to make you feel better and you go and pull that one on him. God I hope he doesn’t hate me.’ She thought to herself as she stormed into the kitchen and picked up a bar of chocolate and 2 packets of crisps and quickly disappeared upstairs, trying to forget about it. She ate the entire large bar in under 10 minutes as she sat back in the bed, still yelling at herself in her mind.   
Ryan was still sat on her drive, resting his head back against the head rest. He knew it was also partially his fault, he also kissed her back and pulled her closer to him. He felt incredibly guilty about what happened, partially because it was both of their faults, and because Horatio still had very strong feelings for her, not only that, but she was feeling low and then he goes and dumps a load more stuff on her shoulders to think about. He pulled off her drive and drove around to the corner, out of her view and pulled his phone out.   
‘I’m sorry Zoë, it wasn’t entirely your fault, I take half the blame for what just happened and I’m truly sorry. Don’t blame yourself. If you want to talk about it another time, I’m happy to; equally I’m happy to completely forget about it if that’s what you wish. Just don’t blame yourself, please. Ryan.’ He reread the text a few times before daring to press send. He sat back in the hummer and he could still smell her gorgeous scent as well as the strawberry balm that she always wore. He realised that the lip balm had transferred onto his lips as he quickly wiped it away and then checked himself in the mirror and smoothed his hair down before driving back to the lab.   
Zoë got his message and it had her emotions running wild again.   
‘Ryan, I just want to completely forget about it. It never happened, okay? Nothing’s going to change, and no-one’s going to know. Thank you, Zoë x’ She replied as she then threw the phone on her bed as her emotions went wild again. She got up and had a shower in hope of it calming her down a little, she stood in the shower for a good 30 minutes. She got back out and pulled on a pair of shorts and t-shirt, then checked her phone again.   
She had received another message from Ryan: ‘Of course. I’ll see you soon, if you need anything, give me a ring. Ryan’ she smiled a little but her emotions were still running wild. ‘Thank you, Ryan.’ She simply texted back.   
She felt like she needed more chocolate, she picked up her iPhone and put the earphones in as again tears began to fall from her eyes as she tried to block the world out. She blasted the music up loud in her ears as she dried the tears as she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She pulled another bar of chocolate out of the cupboard and the bottle of coke from the fridge. She couldn’t even be bothered to grab a glass and just took swigs from the bottle as she sat at the island counter and ate the chocolate as tears slowly fell from her eyes.   
She felt like she was going into self-destruct mode as she drank as much coke as she could without throwing up and did the same with the chocolate. She managed to finish most of the large bottle of coke and all of the large chocolate bar before crossing her arms on the table and putting her head down, resting it on her arms. Tears still fell from her eyes as she began to calm down, and began to feel slightly better after eating the chocolate. She felt very nauseous but she couldn’t care less as she slowly fell asleep at the counter.   
3 hours later Horatio let himself in after knocking and getting no answer. He walked through to the kitchen to see her leaning over the counter with her head buried in her arms and earphones in. He sighed, knowing that she had obviously been feeling low again, but couldn’t understand why Ryan didn’t mention it when he returned to the lab. ‘Actually, Ryan didn’t update me about her at all when he came back, I should have chased him up and come over sooner! Why did it have to be today that we get a couple of idiots In, making our jobs a lot more difficult?’ Horatio thought to himself.   
He didn’t know whether to wake her or leave her, but then decided on waking her as she’d get a bad back if she stayed like that. Then he tried to decide whether to wake her by touching her back gently as she won’t hear him or to take her earphones out. He stepped closer to her and very gently reached out and placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. She didn’t wake to his touch so he put a little more pressure on her shoulder as he gently brushed his thumb against her t-shirt. She lifted her head and looked round to him tiredly as she pulled the earphones out. She focused on his face and then apologised as she stood up, turning her music off.  
He saw her red eyes and knew she’d been crying again. She knew he’d clocked on to her eyes and she looked away as she ran a hand through her hair. He looked over to the very nearly empty coke bottle and remembered it being nearly full last night and the two empty bars of chocolate. She quickly picked the bottle and wrappers up throwing them in the bin, not wanting to see them any longer.   
“Sweetheart…” He said softly, getting her attention. She looked over at him and then quickly dropped her eyes down to the floor along with her head, shaking it slightly. He didn’t know what to do at all. He could see that she was thinking about something and it was clearly bothering her.   
“Come and sit down.” He said softly, yet firmly. He wasn’t going to stand by this time and let her slip through his fingers. He wanted to know what was wrong and whether he could do anything to help, it tore him apart to see her like this.   
She nodded and walked through to the living room with him, she sat down on the sofa and leaned back, quickly hissing in pain and leaning forwards again, then gently leaning back on her left side. Horatio sat down next to her, he leant forwards and leant on his knees, looking back at her.  
“Sweetheart, I need you to talk to me, if you don’t want to talk to me, at least talk to someone, anyone. Ryan, Alexx or even Eric, I can take you over to see Nathan if that’s what you want?” Horatio pleaded her. She looked up at him and fiddled with her fingers giving him a small nod.   
“Tell me what’s bothering you, please.” He asked very softly and delicately, giving her a very compassionate and comforting expression.   
She looked him in the eye and took a deep breath. “Everything Horatio, everything is bothering me.” She said honestly as she ran her hands through her hair.   
Horatio didn’t know where to start, everything was a broad answer. He looked to her for more information. She saw him looking for more and exhaled again.   
“What they did to you, why they did this, the fact that he’s still out there, the fact that I don’t have complete control over my emotions anymore, my mood swings; how I can feel happy one minute and the next feel incredibly low. I’ve never been a person to express such emotions like crying in front of people, but I can’t stop myself now! It’s horrible, I feel so weak and pathetic.” She took a deep breath.  
“I have these blackout things and don’t even know it, the fact that you’re all helping me so much, but I don’t feel like I’ve achieved anything, I feel like a moron. Nathan might not even let me go back to work after tomorrow, which would just destroy me, because I think that’s the problem here, I’m at home doing nothing, my brain isn’t getting the stimulus it needs in order to recover, I’ve hit a wall and I’m not being allowed to climb it to overcome everything.” She took another deep breath as Horatio sat there, taking everything in.  
“I can’t even trust myself to cross a road anymore, I can’t even tie up shoe laces or my joggers. I feel like such a child! I feel like an idiot! I may not even be able to drive ever again, or handle a gun and what will I become? I’d be nothing, I’d be worthless, I am worthless. Everything is going on in my head and I can’t control it Horatio. I can’t deal with all of this much longer, it’s too much. They’ve literally ruined everything in my life and those around me, Horatio, it’s not just me suffering, you all are. You have no time to yourself anymore because you’ve got to check that I haven’t killed myself by moronically putting my head in the oven or something.” She took another broken breath.  
“You even look at me differently and I don’t know why, have I changed that much? Everything’s fallen apart and I can’t seem to glue it back together.” She said as all of her hurt seemed to be released slightly as she confided in Horatio. A tear fell from her right eye as she looked at him.  
He looked at her with a lump in his throat, realising just how much she’s been dealing with.   
“Sweetheart, I want you to listen to me… and I want you to listen carefully.” Horatio said as he cleared his throat and leant in closer to her, empathising with her. She looked into his eyes as he began to talk.   
“You have achieved more than you know, we’re all so proud of you, you’ve come so far along, sure there may be a few more steps to come, but you’re working towards them. You’ve made improvements that you haven’t even realised, I know that because I’ve seen them. We knew that your emotions could change, it comes with the trauma, but we’re all here to help you through it, every step of the way. You shouldn’t ever feel alone, I’m just down the road, if ever you need me for anything, I want you to ring me or come over. I am with you every single step of the way and I will support you with anything you want or need. Don’t dwell on tomorrow, you don’t know what Nathan’s going to say and neither do I, but I know you’ve made an improvement since seeing him last, even if you don’t see that improvement, we all do. Okay? You’re not a child, worthless or an idiot Zoë, I don’t want you telling yourself that because it’s not true. You’re going to have some difficulties with some things, but I’m very happy to help out where I can. We’re all here for you and always will be. I’d suggest you come and stay with me for a little while, I can’t have you dealing with so much on your own, it’s not good for you, Zoë. I can see it’s too much for you and I can help off load the stresses you’re going through.” He took a long deep breath, wondering how he’s going to answer her question about him looking at her.   
“With regard to how I look at you, I’m sorry for changing it, I didn’t even notice myself. You haven’t changed, I just… I just find it hard to see you go through all of this.”  
She took a deep breath, still looking him in the eye.   
“But, it’s not just that… you look at me like… like… I don’t know what like Horatio. I just don’t know. I don’t understand some of the looks people give me.” She said looking at him, clearly hurting still. “I mean, it doesn’t bother me as such, I just don’t understand why.” She said looking at him softly, doing her best to remain calm. ‘I know how I look at her, I can’t stop it though, I love her.’ Horatio thought and he nodded at her, knowing exactly what she meant but still didn’t know whether to tell her or not.  
“Look sweetheart, we’re going to get through tomorrow and we’re going to take it from there, okay? One step at a time.” He said compassionately.   
“Okay… but what if he doesn’t let me back to work?” Zoë asked looking up at him with a worried look.   
“Well then, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Horatio said softly, giving her a caring look.   
She gave him a nod and a small smile. “Thank you Horatio.” She said with a small smile.   
He gave her a smile and a nod.  
“What do you think about coming over to mine?” Horatio asked softly.  
“I can’t ask you to do anymore Horatio, even if you say you’re happy to, I cannot take any more from you because you’re working yourself into the ground. But thank you so much, it really means a lot to know that you’re there. I was convinced that you’d all disappear off somewhere.” She said honestly.  
“I’m never going to disappear off somewhere, and I know that Ryan, Eric and Alexx won’t either, they’re all there for you.” Horatio said softly.  
“Thank you Horatio.” She said looking over to him.  
“Would you like a drink?” She asked, realising that she hadn’t offered him one yet.  
“That depends, would you like me to stay, or do you want some space?” He asked very lightly, not wanting to upset her again. She looked over to him and thought for a little.   
“Could you please stay? Just for a little while.” She asked shyly and quietly.  
“Of course sweetheart” Horatio said softly as he gave her a comforting smile as he sat back, next to her.   
“What would you like to drink?” She asked softly as she got up.   
“Whatever you’re having” he said softly, looking up at her.   
“Orange juice then?” She asked with a small smile as he smiled at her and nodded.   
“I’ll be right back.” She said as a larger smile appeared from her face as she walked out and poured two glasses of orange juice. She walked back through and sat back down in her seat next to Horatio and handed him the glass.   
She flicked the TV on as she took a sip of her orange juice.   
“Thank you Horatio, for everything.” She said sincerely with a smile and soft eyes.   
“No problem.” He said with a smile, reassuring her that everything was going to be okay.   
They casually chatted, getting Zoë’s mind off everything and on to other things. She felt a lot happier, and looked it too. Before they knew it the clock struck 9, they looked over at the clock and couldn’t figure out where the time had gone.   
“I should probably be getting back now and you should get some sleep. If you need anything just give me a ring, okay? I’ll be round tomorrow at 9.20, okay?” Horatio softly said looking over at her.   
“Okay, thank you.” She said with a smile as she got up with Horatio and took his empty glass. She walked him out and closed the door after they said bye. She smiled as we walked through to the kitchen, feeling so much better in herself.  
She put them in the dishwasher and went upstairs for a shower before climbing into bed with a book and began to read.   
Horatio returned home and took a shower before getting into his bed and reading too. They both fell asleep.   
Horatio woke the next morning when his alarm beeped at 7.20 am. He got himself out of bed and went for a run. He then took a shower before pulling on his clothes and then went to make himself a coffee. He sat down, resting while he read a newspaper. It was quickly time to go as he pulled up on her drive in his car.   
He knocked on the door but received no answer so let himself in, she wasn’t downstairs so he quickly wandered upstairs to check that she was okay.   
“Zoë?” Horatio called as he peered into her room and found her bed made, she wasn’t in her en-suite either. Horatio looked back down the hall and the main bathroom door was closed. He walked up to the door, listening intensely but heard nothing. He knocked on the door, but again got no answer so he went to let himself in when the door wouldn’t open. It was obviously locked.   
“Zoë?!” Horatio called loudly as he knocked again louder. Suddenly he heard the water being disturbed as she jumped out of the bath and pulled the towel over her.   
“Sorry Horatio! I fell asleep, I’ll be right out.” She called as she let the water out and quickly gathered her clothes as she tucked the top of the towel in so it held itself up.   
Horatio chuckled slightly as he turned away and began to make his way down to the stairs as the bathroom door swung open as Zoë looked at her watch. He automatically turned around as he heard her in a rush and saw her in a bright pink towel as she quickly exited the bathroom, as she walked through the doorway, she dropped her shorts and top, then immediately tripped on them, sending her flying and she head butted the wall. As she fell to the ground she began laughing hysterically as Horatio rushed over to see if she was okay.   
“Zoë, are you okay?” Horatio asked worried as he quickly made his way up the hall and crouched beside her.  
“Yeah, I’m completely fine. I was just rushing.” She said as she continued to laugh, she didn’t badly hurt herself. She just found it incredibly funny.   
“Come on.” Horatio said as he put his hands out for her to hold on to, to help her up.   
“Thank you.” She said with a brilliant smile as she took hold of his hands and he hauled her up easily.   
“Sorry.” She said as she stifled another bout of laughter.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Horatio asked, still slightly worried, he even heard her head hit that wall from where he was standing.   
“I’m absolutely fine, I just find it funny.” She said as she looked at him with a wide grin. He gave her a nod.   
“Okay, you should probably get dressed.” He said quickly glancing down at the towel which was still holding itself up.   
“Yeah” she said as she nodded at him with a smile.   
He turned around and as he turned around, she took a hold of one of his hands and pulled him back. He involuntary turned around as she pulled him back and almost fell into her as she pulled him back with force. She grinned at him as she placed her right hand around the back of his neck and pulled herself in closer and delicately kissed him.   
He was shocked, but carried on as it was what he wanted for a very long time, he had no will-power to stop himself.   
He kissed her back as she let go of his hand and placed it around his back, pulling him in closer.   
He placed a hand on her hip and his other on her back as she began to part her lips. His heartbeat accelerated dramatically as he parted his lips as she turned him and pressed him against the wall.   
She began to bite at his top lip lightly as her hand dropped from his neck to his shirt where she moved her body away slightly and carried on kissing him as she pulled his shirt out of his trousers.   
‘Does she remember?’ He questioned to himself.   
She quickly unbuttoned his shirt and then stopped as their tongues began to dance along with each other.   
She ran her hands over his chest as he pulled her back into him. He felt himself instantly grow in his trousers and she felt it too. She quickly had his belt and trousers undone as they fell to his ankles.   
She brushed her hand against his hard long length and then let her fingers dance around his chest as she passionately kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. Losing themselves to each other. ‘Did that whack to the head cause her to remember? As if nothing ever happened?’ Horatio questioned.   
He let one of his hands wander as it found the side of the towel and slid his hand in, he then felt her soft skin once again beneath his fingertips as he let his hand travel up to meet the bottom of her breast.   
‘Oh how I’ve missed her skin.’ Horatio thought to himself.  
He found her taught nipple and began to massage her breast as he gently stimulated her nipple causing her to push herself up against him more and deepen the kiss as a small groan left her throat. He began to pull the towel off when a loud alarm went off.   
She pulled herself away from him as Horatio looked around, wondering what it was.   
“That’s the alarm.” She sighed as she quickly backed off and rushed away, holding the towel up.


	20. Chapter 20

Suddenly, Horatio found himself back in his bed as his alarm let out a loud noise. He sat up and rubbed his face. He really thought that the dream he had just had was real, he wanted it to be real.   
He exhaled as he dropped his hands from his face and threw the duvet off, exposing a large bulge in his night pants. Horatio got himself out of bed as the clock turned 8.30am. He got into the shower and tried to un-excite himself, he managed to get himself under control and relaxed in the shower. He got out about 20 minutes later having fully relaxed himself and then calmed himself down.  
He got changed and saw one of her shirts still in his wardrobe, he sighed as he took a hold of it and felt the fabric beneath his fingers. He dropped his hand from the shirt as he looked down, wanting to go back to his dream so badly. He reluctantly got changed and made a coffee, trying not to think of the dream again as he’d have to calm himself down again because he knew he’d have no control about the member which lay in his boxers, relaxed. He finished his coffee and sorted himself out, ready for 9.20. ‘Come on Horatio, pull yourself together, she needs you. Even if we’re not together, she still needs you and your support.’ He thought to himself.   
He knew that today was either going to be a very good day for Zoë or it would completely destroy her. He hoped that it would be good news, but wasn’t sure himself.   
He got into his car at 9.15 and parked on her drive, knocking on the door. She quickly answered as she invited him in. He couldn’t judge how she was feeling; she didn’t seem happy or sad. But he could tell that she was feeling slightly nervous.   
“Ready?” He asked softly as she quickly picked up her bag and keys before giving him a nod. Horatio walked out and she closed the door behind her.   
He got into the car along with her and she put her seatbelt on as she looked over at the garage.   
“It’s going to be okay.” Horatio said softly, assuring her as he gave her a smile as his eyes sparkled at her. She took a deep breath and looked over at him.   
“Yeah” she said with a small smile. Horatio put his seatbelt in and put the car into reverse.  
He drove off the drive and headed for the hospital.   
They had a small conversation, but Zoë couldn’t get her mind off the appointment, Horatio could see this and carried on reassuring her. They pulled up and parked at the front of the car park. They got out and Horatio gave her another reassuring look as they walked around the car while Horatio beeped it locked. They made their way to Nathan’s office where they saw him just walking down the corridor towards them.   
“Zoë, Horatio.” He greeted with a smile.   
“Nathan.” They replied together.   
“Do come in.” Nathan said as he opened his office door.   
“I’ll be right here, if you want me, come and get me.” Horatio said with a smile, comforting her. She gave him a nod and a smile as she followed Nathan in and closed the door behind her.   
Horatio sat there, wishing that it was all going okay for her.   
“Take a seat.” He said with a smile as he sat down in his chair. She sat and looked on at him slightly nervously.   
“How are you feeling?” Nathan asked as he clasped his hands together.  
“Well, right now… slightly nervous because I really want to go back to work.” She said giving him a smile.   
“Okay, just relax for me. How are you feeling generally though?” Nathan asked with a gentle smile.   
“Where do I start?” She said with a smile, she sat back, relaxing a little more.   
“From the beginning” Nathan said softly.  
She took a breath and wondered how to word her sentence, she wanted to say that everything was fantastic, but she knew that it wasn’t. She didn’t want to lie, because if something really was still wrong with her and she went back to work, she could potentially ruin evidence or discount some evidence.   
“In all honesty… it’s been… difficult.” She said looking over at him. He knew she was telling him the truth, he leant forward and looked at her with soft eyes.   
“How so?” He asked, looking into her eyes.   
“My moods and emotions have been everywhere. I don’t seem to have complete control over them. Or my thoughts for that matter, so many things have been going off in my head and I can’t think of them all at the same time.” She said looking at him with soft eyes.   
“Why do you think that is?” Nathan asked.   
“I think that perhaps it’s got something to do with my hormones, when I was in here, I wasn’t taking my pill and it’s messed up my cycle.” She said looking to him.   
“Okay.” Nathan said as he wrote something down.   
“What are you writing?” She asked curiously, leaning forward on to the desk.   
“That you’re on the pill, it’s not in your notes.” He said with a small smile as he looked up at her.   
“What one do you take?” He asked looking at her.   
“Erm… I think it’s called Marvelon?” She said looking over at him, not sure how to pronounce the word.   
“Ah yes, I know.” He said as he wrote the name down. “I can see how that could cause your hormone levels to change. I think that perhaps your mood changes are combined then, between the hormone imbalance and trauma.” He said looking over at her and she then gave him a nod in understanding.   
“But other than the mood swings, I feel good.” She said with a smile. “Although, I will admit my diet hasn’t been great… I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate; I’ve had cravings for it and it improves my mood.” She said with a small chuckle.   
“I’m absolutely certain that it’s mainly to do with the hormones.” She said trying to discount the reason being trauma. ‘Typical, every patient I have tries to blame the emotional side of things on something else. Why? It’s nothing to be ashamed about.’ Nathan thought to himself.   
“What makes you say that? Are you having other symptoms?” Nathan asked curious.   
“Well, I’ve been feeling sick quite often and my breasts feel a little tender and sore.” She said with a shy smile.  
“Okay erm… is there any chance that you could be pregnant?” He asked automatically, ruling it out as a possibility.   
“No, not a chance. Horatio said that nothing happened when they took me… not a chance.” She said with a small chuckle, brushing it off.  
Nathan looked at her, still thinking, knowing that the emotional side of things is more than likely a combination of the hormones and trauma.  
“You’re not really thinking that I could be pregnant? How?” She asked growing concerned herself.   
“I’ll have to do a test.” Nathan said cautiously, seeing the look in her eyes.   
“What!” She said as she stood up, raising her voice. “There’s no chance that I’m pregnant, it’s just my hormones!” She said getting stressed, looking at him. Horatio heard her raise her voice but couldn’t make out what she was saying and wondered whether he should knock or not.   
“Okay, take a deep breath for me Zoë and sit down, try and stay calm.” He said softly.   
She sat back down and took a deep breath. “Horatio told me that nothing happened to me, you’re not telling me that perhaps he was wrong?!” She asked again.   
“I don’t know, I’ll have to do the test, with your permission.”   
Zoë took a deep breath and swallowed. “Yes, okay.” She said running her hands through her hair. He opened a draw but seemed to have run out. ‘If Ratner had… and I didn’t take my pills… oh God. Please no.’ She thought to herself.   
“I’ll be right back.” Nathan said as he got up and gently brushed her shoulder with his hand as he walked around her and out to collect a pregnancy test. Zoë leant forwards on the desk and covered her face with her hands as she shook her head, absolutely terrified. Nathan didn’t even exchange a look with Horatio he just went into another Doctors office, he had left the door slightly ajar and Horatio could see Zoë. She pulled her head out of her hands and looked around and saw Horatio looking worried. She turned her head back and looked out of the window. He saw the terrified look in her eyes and wanted to go in and comfort her but didn’t know if it was appropriate or not.   
Her mind was going stir crazy at the thought of something like that happening.   
She took a deep breath and pushed the chair back as she stood up and walked over to the window, just out of the sight of Horatio. She wanted some comfort, but also wanted to be left completely alone, feeling degraded. She leant against the window as her heart pounded; she was trembling slightly.   
She tried to tell herself that Nathan was only doing the test as a precautionary thing, but still the potential of being pregnant with her kidnaper’s child horrified her. She still had no clue that her and Horatio were together, or that they had enjoyed each other’s company the night before.   
Nathan collected the pregnancy test and slipped it into his pocket as he began to walk back.   
He saw Horatio lay his eyes on him and he realised that he had left the door slightly open.   
“Nathan.” Horatio said pulling him to the side as Zoë was absorbed in her own world leaning against the window.   
“What’s going on? She looks terrified.” Horatio said quietly, looking into the room again.   
“I can’t tell you anything Horatio, I’m sorry.” Nathan said softly, trying to reassure him. Horatio swallowed and had no idea what was going on as Nathan turned around and walked back into the room, shutting the door behind him.   
“Zoë?” Nathan called but she didn’t even turn to him.   
“Zoë sweet?” He asked as he walked over and touched her shoulder, she looked round to him.  
“Tell me this isn’t true Nathan, please tell me this isn’t happening.” She said still trembling.   
“Just take the test sweet, use the loo in there and come out when you’re ready, it’s just a precaution, okay?” He said very softly, not quite knowing how she was feeling at the moment. He handed her the tube to pee in and she nodded at him, looking worried. She closed the door behind her. She came out a few minutes later, having peed in the tube and washed her hands. She opened the door and looked over at Nathan who put on a pair of gloves and took the tube from her as he walked over to the sink with the pregnancy test. He spotted some of the urine on the stick and placed it on the side as he threw the rest of the tube away. Zoë leant against the wall and didn’t take her eyes off Nathan. He also looked intensely down at the test, hoping it would be negative for Zoë’s sake as he too had no idea that Zoë and Horatio were together.   
The test completed and Nathan looked up at Zoë.


	21. Chapter 21

“It’s negative.” He said as his face relaxed and showed her the test. She let out a huge sigh of relief as Nathan threw the test and his gloves away. She stood there for a little while and exhaled in a state of utter shock but completely relieved.   
“Thank you Nathan, but don’t you ever do that to me again…” She said looking up at him half happy, half shocked. She fell against him in relief and placed her arms around his waist.  
“Please don’t ever do that again.” She pleaded and then swallowed.  
“I’m sorry sweet, I had to check.” Nathan said as he wrapped his arms around her, knowing she needed some comfort.   
“I know.” She said giving him a nod as her trembling subsided.   
“Thank you so much.” She said as she raised her eyebrows and gave him a very happy smile, knowing that Horatio wasn’t wrong and that she wasn’t assaulted. She pulled back from him and took a deep breath.  
“It’s okay.” Nathan said as he gently rubbed her back. He sat her back down.   
“Now, where were we?” He asked, feeling relieved himself.   
“Ah yes, I suggest that you carry on taking the pills and your hormones should begin to settle down again.” She gave him a nod as she relaxed herself again.   
“Okay, can you stand up for me?” Nathan asked as he stood up himself.   
He asked her to do things like stand on one leg and touch her nose before pulling out a lighter and asking her to touch the flame to test her ability to think through the dangers and consequences – something she couldn’t do a week earlier.   
“No.” She said looking at him like he was stupid.   
“Well done, you’ve definitely made an improvement there!” Nathan said with a smile as he asked her to hop onto the bed to test her reflexes.   
He listened to her heart and lungs before taking her blood pressure. He asked her to lie back as he wanted to check her blood pressure as she laid down. She grimaced as she laid because she had just put all the weight on her bruised back without thinking about it.   
“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked seeing her pain.   
“I’ve just got a bruise on my back.” She said as she shuffled into a more comfortable position.   
“Can I have a look?” Nathan asked seeing how much discomfort she just experienced.   
“It’s fine, it’s just a bruise. I forgot about it until now.” She said with a smile, now comfortable.   
“Well then let me have a look if it’s really fine.” He said looking down at her, raising his eyebrows.   
She raised an eyebrow at him, knowing that she wasn’t going to get around him.   
“Do this first and then I’ll show you?” She said as she looked at the blood pressure cuff. Nathan gave her a nod and then checked her blood pressure, he then asked her to stand and he checked it again.   
“All seems good.” He said as she pulled the cuff off her arm.   
“Now, that bruise…” He said softly and she nodded at him. She turned around and pulled her shirt out of her trousers and pulled it up to reveal a few inches of bruised flesh. He lightly touched it, radiating from her spine around to her hip.   
“Can I see the rest of it?” Nathan asked as he took a hold of her shirt and pulled it up more to reveal a much larger bruise. He saw why she didn’t want him to look but didn’t say anything about that.  
He gently felt around the bruise.   
“Zoë, how did you get that?” Nathan asked as he pulled her shirt back down.   
“I don’t know, I just found it one evening. I really couldn’t tell you.” She said honestly as she tucked her shirt back in and turned around to look at him. He knew she was telling him the truth.   
“Do you think you fainted?” Nathan asked.   
“I don’t think so, I’d remember waking up if I did…” She said looking at him, curious herself.   
“That’s true. Are you still having those blackouts? Perhaps this was caused by one of those if you fell?” Nathan asked, tenderly looking at her.   
“I don’t know, the last one I know I had was a few evenings ago when Horatio was with me.” She said looking at him softly. “I don’t know if they’re still happening because apparently I don’t remember them happening.” She said looking at him softly.   
“Okay sweet.” He said as he sat her back down.   
Nathan sat back and thought, she saw him thinking.   
He then asked her a few more general questions, testing her mental ability – she scored perfect. He sat back and lost himself in his thoughts again.  
“I just want to try something else, okay?” Nathan asked, looking at her and she nodded at him.   
“Can you stand up for me please?” He asked, looking out the window, looking at her in the corner of his eye. She didn’t even seem to process his words.   
“Zoë, stand up.” He asked again, still looking out of the window. He sighed and looked back to her.   
“Zoë, I think you’re having difficulty with people addressing you.” Nathan said softly, looking at her as she looked back at him.  
“Sorry?” She asked.   
“You’re not registering when someone is talking to you when they don’t face you.” Nathan said softly.   
“I still don’t understand.” She said looking at him confused.  
“Look, I’ll try and demonstrate.” Nathan said and then he looked away.   
“Zoë, are you listening to me?” Nathan said and then looked back to her.   
“What did I say?” Nathan asked.   
“Zoë, are you listening to me?” She questioned, looking at him. Nathan lowered his eyebrows and thought for a moment.   
“Who was I talking to?” Nathan questioned, beginning to think that she was registering it, but not relating it to herself.   
“Yourself?” She questioned.   
“Zoë, I was talking to you.” He said looking at her. “Do you see what I mean? When someone doesn’t face you, you’re not relating what they’re saying to you, even if they’re talking to you.” Nathan said softly, looking up at her.  
‘Great, just another thing to go wrong’ she thought, not too happy that he’d told her that something else wasn’t right with her.   
“Can you please tell me if I can go back to work?” She asked changing the subject. Nathan looked over at her and exhaled a little. Her heart instantly sank as he looked at her, thinking to himself.   
He leant forwards on the desk as she looked at him, still hoping to go back.   
He exhaled through his nose still thinking.   
“I think… I think it would be okay for you to go back… but on desk and lab duty, without a gun. It might aid your recovery and help you gain those social skills again, like knowing when someone is addressing you even when they’re not looking at you.” He said looking at her, waiting for her response.   
“So, that’s a yes?” She asked, clarifying it.   
“Yes, on desk duty.” Nathan said softly, giving her a smile.   
A brilliantly wide smile beamed across her face. “I can’t thank you enough!! I don’t mind what I do, as long as I can go back!” She said with a smile, he saw the happiness on her face and it made him feel really good just to see her fantastic smile.   
“No guns, still no driving. Not until I can confirm that you’re not having any more blackouts. Nothing remotely dangerous, or what you like to call ‘fun’.” He said with a smile, raising an eyebrow.   
“Okay, I can live with that. I’m just happy that I can go back!” She said with a brimming smile.   
“Can I fire my gun at the shooting range, under supervision?” She asked, not wanting to lose her aiming skills.   
“I suppose that would be okay, as long as you’re supervised constantly.” He said, making it clear.   
Her smile widened, she genuinely thought that she may not ever be able to go back to work or fire a gun again.   
“Can you tell Horatio, because he may not completely believe me.” She said with a smile.   
“Of course, I’ll call him in.” Nathan said as he stood up.   
“Nathan, please don’t tell him about the pregnancy scare.” She said looking up at him slightly worried.   
“Of course I won’t, anything you tell me stays between us, unless you allow me to give out the information, okay?” Nathan said softly.   
“Okay, thank you.” She said with another smile beaming across her face as Nathan walked over to the door and called Horatio in. She looked around to him with a brilliant smile and he knew that she was okay.  
Nathan sat back down.   
“Thank you for joining us Horatio.” Nathan said as he gave him a nod. Horatio couldn’t take his eyes off Zoë’s grin. It made him feel happy inside and couldn’t help the smile from appearing across his face either.   
“I can go back to work! It’s desk and lab work, but I don’t care! I can go back!” She said very excitedly, she couldn’t contain her excitement any longer and they could both see just how happy she was about it.   
“She still can’t drive because there’s the potential that she could have another blackout…” Nathan said softly to Horatio.   
“That’s okay, I can give you a lift.” Horatio said looking over at Zoë, with his smile appearing again when he saw her grin.   
“She’s not allowed to use her gun on the job just yet, it could be quite dangerous. But with there being no field work, I shouldn’t think that you’d need it.” Nathan said to the both of them.   
Horatio gave him a nod in understanding.   
“But I can go to the firing range to practise, under supervision.” She said looking over at Horatio with a smile. Horatio looked to Nathan for conformation and he gave Horatio a nod.   
“How about interrogating suspects?” Horatio asked.   
“It shouldn’t be a problem at all, however, you’re moods may still play on you a little, so you need to be careful and keep those stress levels low. Also, when you were in the hospital you were having difficulty reading peoples emotions and facial expressions, has this improved?” Nathan questioned, she smiled at him and gave him a nod.   
“Yeah, I think so?” She asked, looking to Horatio for his help.  
“She’s definitely made an improvement” Horatio said softly.  
“Okay, that may be something you both need to watch out for while interrogating people as you may not pick up on some of the ‘tells’ that the suspects give.” Nathan said softly and they nodded.  
“Also, Horatio, I’ve found that Zoë’s having some difficulty deciphering when someone is addressing her, you need to look at her when you talk to her, it won’t go in if you talk to her and look away.” Nathan said softly. Horatio nodded, having noticed this beforehand.  
“Obviously with that wrist of yours be extra careful…” He said giving her a smile.  
“Thank you Nathan, thank you so much!” She said as she grinned at him, extremely happy.   
“No problem sweet.” He said with a smile, still a little shocked that he was saying that she could go back.   
“I have to say Zoë, when you were brought in; I didn’t think you’d wake up… let alone have a conversation with you about going back to work! You’ve come so far and made such a remarkable recovery.” He said sincerely, remembering the day she was brought in, essentially dead. She gave him a nod in understanding and then gave him a comforting smile. She looked round to Horatio, knowing that it probably hurt him a little to hear that.   
“There was never any doubt in my mind.” He said with a smile, looking to her. Her smile widened.   
“When can I go back?” She asked turning back to Nathan.   
“Monday?” He asked.   
“Not today?” She asked, looking at him, still extremely happy. ‘It’s a Saturday, but Ryan said he was working, didn’t he?’ She thought to herself, knowing that they never usually worked on Saturdays.  
“If you feel up to it then that’s not a problem.” She turned to Horatio with a smile, silently asking him if it was okay.   
“Sure.” Horatio said simply with a smile, happy that he was getting his CSI back.   
She gave him a stunning smile and then looked round to Nathan with the same smile.   
“Come back to see me in a week. Any problems; call or come back.” Nathan said, giving her the go ahead to leave when she wanted.   
“Thank you Nathan, I can’t tell you how happy and thankful I am!” She said grinning at him.   
“I think your smile is telling us everything.” He said with a smile himself as he stood up and walked around the desk to give her hand a shake. She didn’t bother shaking his hand, she just went in and gave him a tight hug.   
“Thank you.” She said sincerely by his ear. He nodded and they let go of each other.   
She turned back to Horatio with a crazily happy smile as Horatio shook Nathan’s hand and gave him a nod.   
Nathan showed them out of his office and they gave him another nod. They walked away, with Zoë grinning like the Cheshire Cat. It made Horatio’s smile grow bigger, he was so happy to see her this happy when just a few weeks ago Nathan said that she may never wake.  
“Straight off to work then?” She asked grinning as they walked down the stairs.  
“If that’s your wish” he said softly looking over at her, happy. He didn’t want her back working ever, but he felt like he could never say ‘no’ to her again. He wanted her to be as happy as she could be every single minute of her life.  
“It is indeed.” She said as she seemed to almost skip down the stairs.   
Horatio looked where he was going as he exhaled a chuckle while she smiled happily, feeling the happiest she’s felt since coming back from the hospital.  
They quickly walked out of the hospital and over to Horatio’s car and got in.  
“I cannot tell you how happy I am to go back.” She said putting the seatbelt on.   
“And thank you Horatio, you’ve been absolutely brilliant.” She said giving him a brilliant smile.   
“Not a problem.” He said giving her a smile and then ignited the engine and clicked his seatbelt into place. Zoë clicked hers into place as they backed out of the parking space.   
Horatio began to drive back to the lab with Zoë as they chatted casually, she couldn’t get rid of the smile from her face, even if she tried.   
She pulled her badge and ID from her bag and clipped them on to her waist.   
“I came prepared, in case of this event.” She said smiling back up at him.   
“I can see that.” He said as he quickly glanced over at her.  
‘On my way to the lab, are you there?’ Zoë sent Ryan a message.   
‘Yeah, here with Delko.’  
‘See you in a few then.’ She replied back. They carried on chatting and finally arrived at the lab.   
They got out of the car and walked into the entrance and then into the lift. Horatio could feel the happiness emanate from her.   
“Calm down or you’re going to overdo yourself before you even step foot in the lab.” Horatio said as he chuckled a little.   
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” She said looking over at him as the doors then opened. Horatio gestured for her to exit first and she did after she gave him a thank you nod.   
Ryan and Eric looked up and instantly saw the elation being emitted by her. They walked out and began to walk towards her as she paraded towards them.   
“I’m back to work!” She said loudly as they met in the middle of the lab. They both couldn’t help but smile when they saw the grin on her face.   
“It’s good to have you back!” Ryan said with a smile as he crossed his arms in his lab coat.   
“It’s good to be back!” She replied with a smile.   
“I’ve got some work to do, call if you need anything.” Horatio said directing the last comment at Zoë.   
“Thank you Horatio, I’ll see you soon.” She said with a smile. Horatio walked off to his office to look over some work as Zoë turned back to them.   
“Let’s get stuck in.” She said with a smile.   
“Certainly, we’ll bring you up to date.” Eric said with a smile as she followed them through to the lab. Zoë read over the case file and got her brain into work-mode as she began to make the connections that Ryan and Eric had already worked out. They brought her completely up to speed on the on-going case where a young girl was killed after being kidnapped and assaulted.   
“Where’s your gun?” Ryan asked noticing that there was no gun holster or gun.   
“I’m not out in the field quite yet – just in the lab. No need for the gun in the lab and I’m not allowed to fire it unless I’m under supervision at the firing range.” She said looking up at him, still happy, but they could see the concentration in her eyes.   
“Ah, okay.” Ryan said softly as he let her get back to thinking.   
“Was she taken?” Zoë asked looking at the pictures.   
“No, she was found in her house, there was no sign of forced entry and her parents were out working.” Eric said looking up at her. She nodded and looked back down, connecting things in her mind.   
Another case was called in, Horatio ordered Eric and Ryan to attend. They walked off to get into their hummers.  
“Are you going to be alright here on your own?” Horatio asked warmly.   
“I’ll be fine, thank you. Go ahead; I’ve got plenty to do here.” She said with a smile.   
“Okay, ring if you need anything.” Horatio said giving her a comforting smile.   
She gave him a nod and got back to what she was doing as he left and also got into his hummer.  
She carried on working, trying to find a lead while they were out investigating a new case.   
She looked over pictures and reports about the body and scene, taking in all of the small details.   
She stopped herself and took a break and got a coffee before she found herself getting stressed. Alexx walked up while she was pouring the coffee, she didn’t see anyone in the lab but caught a glimpse of someone in the break room.   
‘Is that… Zoë?’ She asked herself as she quickly walked into the break room to find out. Zoë turned around.   
“Hey” she said as she walked over to Alexx.   
“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” She asked softly.   
“Really well thank you, yourself?” Zoë asked.   
“Good, yes I’m good thanks. Are you back working?” Alexx asked.   
“Yes, Nathan cleared me this morning!” Zoë said as that brilliant grin appeared across her face again.  
“It’s great to have you back honey!” Alexx said with a smile.   
“Thank you, it feels great to be back.” Zoë replied as she picked her coffee up.   
“Do you want one?” Zoë offered.   
“Oh no honey, I was just on my way out to meet Ryan and Eric.” Alexx said softly.   
“Ah, okay. I’ll catch you later then” Zoë said softly.   
“Sure will honey, I’ll see you later and take it easy!” Alexx said with a smile.   
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Zoë replied as she looked down at her coffee. Alexx chuckled a little as she turned around, and looked back to give her a nod. Alexx left and went to meet the boys at the crime scene. Alexx had noticed that she was different, but didn’t want to think about it as she was just glad that Zoë was well.  
Zoë walked over to the sofa and sat down. She relaxed herself and drank the coffee, she then quickly got back into the lab and back to work. Before long Ryan and Eric had come back, Horatio was all hands on deck as well as there was only the 3 of them working the case and they needed another pair of hands. She picked up the evidence relating to the young girl and moved into a separate lab.   
“Is she okay?” Eric asked both Horatio and Ryan.   
Horatio snapped his gloves off and gave them both a nod. He went to find her and found her in a different lab, in deep thought.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio asked as he entered the lab and she looked up at him.   
“Yes of course, I just need a little bit of quiet, that’s all.” She said with a smile as she then looked back down at the photos, knowing that something was missing.   
“Have you got something?” Horatio asked, seeing the thought on her face and the connections she was silently making between the pictures.  
“I’m not sure.” Zoë said as she looked at up at him.   
“You recovered a laptop and a computer, didn’t you?” She asked, Horatio thought back to the day before.   
“Yes, I believe so.” Horatio said, not sure what she was getting at. She gave him a nod as she pulled the picture with the laptop on the desk in the study.   
“Have both of them been checked through?” She asked.   
“I believe so, Ryan checked yesterday.” Horatio said looking at her sideways, knowing that she was on to something.   
She handed Horatio a photo. “What do you see there?” She asked as she turned and looked at him.   
“I see the young girl’s bedroom?” Horatio said, not sure what she was getting at.   
“Look at her desk, there’s a laptop charger, but the laptop charger was collected with the laptop…” Zoë said letting him follow on.   
“There’s another laptop.” Horatio said looking up at her realising.   
“Fantastic work Zoë” Horatio said as he turned around.   
“Wait, I think I should go with you, I know all the hiding places of a young teenage girl.” She said with a smile.   
“You know what Nathan said.” Horatio said raising his eyebrows at her.   
“Yes, but if I was to call him and ask if it was okay? It’s not as if it’s still a hot crime scene anyway.” Zoë said pulling her phone out and dialled for Nathan before Horatio could answer.   
“Hi Nathan?”  
“Zoë, is everything okay?”   
“Yes, everything’s great. I wanted to ask something.” She said softly, looking up at Horatio who clearly wasn’t too impressed.   
“Go on…” Nathan said almost hesitantly.   
“I know you said no field work, but what if I revisited an on-going case crime scene with no gun and no driving?” She asked gritting her teeth. She heard him exhale down the phone.   
“You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you really think you’re up to it. I can’t think of any specific reasons why you can’t go…” A small smile appeared across her face as she played with her bottom lip. ‘She’s playing with her lip!’ Horatio thought to himself as he watched her and an involuntary small smile appeared across his face.   
“So… that’s a yes?” Zoë asked.  
“Yes, if you think you’re up to it, no hot crime scenes though.” Nathan said sternly.   
“Of course, thank you Nathan.” She said with a smile.   
“Be careful.” Nathan said as they both hung up. She gave Horatio a smile. Horatio just stared at her, quickly changing back to a stern facial expression, waiting for her to say something.  
“What? If you don’t ask you don’t get and I got it.” She said with a smile.   
“Am I going with you or are you going to put me with Delko or Ryan?” She asked with a smile.   
“You’re coming with me then.” Horatio said raising his eyebrows.   
A large grin appeared across her face as she almost jumped on the spot. She put the case photos away and went out with Horatio.   
They drove over to the scene.   
“So, where do you propose that we start looking?” Horatio asked.   
“Definitely her room” Zoë said as they walked up the stairs. Horatio showed her into the room.   
Zoë had a look round with Horatio keeping a close eye on her, as he scanned the room once again.   
“Everything’s in the same place.” He said as he observed the room.   
“Fantastic.” She said as she walked over to the desk and crouched down, looking for any compartments in the draws but found nothing.   
“What are you looking for?” Horatio asked as he saw her looked around, still crouched.   
“Anything that could be used to hide the laptop. If you have been over the room, it’s going to be hidden.” She said as she stood up, turning the torch off. She walked over to the built-in cupboard and quickly looked around. She looked at the flooring and it all seemed fine. She then looked up at the top of the ceiling in the closet. She found a seal type thing and looked at it closer. He saw that she had found something as she turned around and dragged the chair over and stood on it. Horatio quickly walked over to her as she reached up.   
“Horatio, could you give me a bit of a boost please?” She asked as she looked down at him.   
“Certainly” he said as he took a hold of her legs and boosted her up a little more.   
“Perfect, thank you” she said as she pushed the flap open and then removed a part of the ceiling.   
“A little higher?” She asked as Horatio pushed her higher. “Thank you.” She said as she managed to find what felt like a laptop and pull it down.   
“Got it” she said as Horatio lowered her back down to stand on the chair and then helped her down from the chair.   
She held the laptop up and gave Horatio a smile.  
“Looks like you came back just in time.” Horatio said with a smile as Zoë placed it down and photographed it.   
“The charger is back at the lab, is it not?” Zoë asked.   
“It is.” Horatio said as Zoë bagged the laptop and they quickly left.   
“Good call.” Horatio said softly as they walked back down outside and got into the hummer.   
“I knew you all needed me back.” She said with a smile.   
“Couldn’t last more than a month without me” she said cheekily as they pulled away as Horatio chuckled a little.   
Horatio made sure she was okay again and then they casually chatted after saying that she was perfectly fine. They arrived at the lab and Zoë carried the laptop in and immediately got to work with it while Horatio also stood with her and helped where he could.   
She managed to pull all of the files and even got a picture for a suspect.   
Their last conversation was about meeting the young girl at her home when her parents were out. Zoë sighed shaking her head a little. She then opened the same chat service on the lab computer and typed in the man’s screen name.   
“I’ve got him Horatio.” She said as she sat back and showed him the screen.   
“Is that his address?” Horatio asked. “It is indeed.” Zoë answered looking up at him, from sat in the chair with her head leaning back against the top of the chair.   
Suddenly he began to have visions of the night where he was leaning back looking up at her from the sofa as she leant over him and began kissing him. He had to quickly stop himself and calm himself down.   
“Good work.” Horatio said as he turned around and walked out, phoning Eric to go with him to pick him up. Zoë walked into the lab where Ryan was still working.   
“I heard that you may have broken the teenage girl case.” Ryan said as he looked up at her as she walked over at him.  
“Perhaps, we won’t know until we question him. What have you got?” She asked as she stood next to him.  
“Sand” he simply said as he moved back from the microscope. He smiled, noticing the distance that she stood from him was slowly getting closer.  
“Wow, that narrows it down.” She said with a small chuckle. He moved away from the microscope for her to have a look for herself. She moved in and stood close to Ryan and studied the sand.   
“That’s from a building site?” She asked him as she looked up at him and he gave her a nod.   
“You’re thinking you’re killer works there, aren’t you?” She said, not even knowing much about the case.   
“I am, yes.” Ryan said crossing his arms looking at her.   
“Is there a building site near your crime scene?” She asked as she looked at him intensely.   
Ryan turned around and looked at the computer as Zoë leant down beside him, making contact with her shoulder against his. He was overwhelmed inside, it was the first time she’d stood that close to him and he loved it. He didn’t realise he missed it until it was gone.   
“There’s a building site and there’s our crime scene.” Ryan said pointed the two places out.   
“I think you should go and do something about that then.” Zoë said as she stood back up and gave him a cheeky smile.   
“Not coming with?” Ryan asked.   
“Not allowed.” She said.   
“You went out earlier with H?” He asked.   
“Technically, that wasn’t a ‘hot’ crime scene and I didn’t deal with any suspects, I just pointed the suspect out to them.” She said with a smile. Ryan gave her a nod in understanding.   
“Right, it looks like you’ve got it covered, I’m getting a cup of tea.” She said as she lightly placed her hand on his shoulder.   
“It’s alright for some.” Ryan said as he sat back and looked up at her, grinning because she had placed her hand on his shoulder.  
“It sure is, but may I remind you that I found a hidden laptop and quite possibly placed the killer into the palm of your hands?” She said giving him a smile and a wink.   
“There is that.” Ryan said giving her a smile.  
“I’ll let you get to it.” She said with a smile as she gently brushed his shoulder as she turned and walked away. She made herself a cup of tea and relaxed on the sofa for a little while, not having much to do now that both cases were being investigated out in the field.  
She finished the cup and washed it up and went through into the lab to sort the evidence out when Horatio and Eric walked in with a man in cuffs as the police patrol men walked him through into an interrogation room and sat him there. Zoë came out of the lab almost instantly and stopped Horatio.   
“Can I stand in on the interrogation? Nathan said it was okay.” She said with a smile, pleading him slightly but standing close and talking quietly so no-one else heard what they were talking about. Horatio couldn’t help but smile, it was the closest she’d stood next to him in a long time.  
Horatio looked at her softly. “Yes, but… he’s not the easiest of suspects. If you feel like you’re getting too stressed or I see you getting stressed, you’re straight out of there.” Horatio said quietly as he looked up at her tenderly.   
“I know, I understand Horatio. Thank you.” She said with a smile.   
“Sure you’re up to this?” Horatio asked quietly and cautiously.   
“Yes, I’m good.” She said with a smile as she gave him a nod.   
“Okay then.” Horatio said as she turned around and walked over to the interrogation room with him. She picked up a few photos as they walked over. Horatio held the door open for her as they walked in and began the interrogation.   
The man blatantly refused to say he knew the young girl, Horatio tried his best with the man but didn’t get anything from him. The man kept looking up at Zoë who was stood not too far away from Horatio. She stared at him, studying his behaviour. Horatio stood back and exhaled, frustrated that the man wasn’t giving him anything.   
Zoë stepped forward and placed a photo of the conversation he had with the young girl.   
“What’s that?” He asked as he looked at the photo.   
“That’s the conversation you had with our victim.” She said bluntly as she stood back up straight and folded her arms.   
“Her? I’ve never met her!” The man said, knowing that he’d been rumbled to knowing the girl.   
“Well this conversation suggests something very different.” She said as she placed their last conversation on the table.   
“That never happened.” He said as she sat back.   
“So you don’t deny knowing her? And you don’t deny having this conversation with her?” Zoë asked as she stood back up. The man began to sweat slightly as his behaviour shifted from confident to showing signs of nervousness. He didn’t answer, giving them the answer they wanted.   
She put another photo of the bruises on the young girls forearms in front of him.   
“She fought for her life.” Zoë simply said.   
“I had nothing to do with her!” The man argued.   
“So you didn’t get those scratches on your hand and neck from her?” Zoë asked, studying the dried wounds.   
“No.” He said.   
“Would you care to explain where you got them from?” Zoë asked standing back and holding a strong stance.   
“My… my wife.” He answered, unsure of his answer.   
“You have a wife?” Zoë asked glaring at him, not picking up that he was clearly lying.   
“Yes.” He said looking down at the table.   
“So, if we were to compare the skin we found under her nails with yours, it wouldn’t match?” Zoë said putting another photo in his line of sight.   
“No.” He said simply.   
“Would you care to give us the DNA or do we have to go and get a warrant, which for your information won’t be a problem.” She said boring her eyes into his.   
“It won’t match.” He said feeling a little stuck in a rut.   
“What about the semen we found? Did you know she was just 14?” Zoë asked, as her blood began to boil slightly. The man began to sweat profusely, and fiddled with his hands.   
“Well?” Zoë pressed.   
“If you don’t give me an answer you’re only going to make it worse for yourself.” Zoë said sternly.   
He looked up at her, keeping his mouth closed.   
“Fine” Zoë said as she pulled her phone out and dialled for Eric.   
“Eric, can you please get a warrant for Mr Hays DNA?” She asked glaring at him.   
“No… Okay, I’ll tell you everything.” The man said. “Scratch that Eric, thank you.” Zoë said as she put the phone away.   
“Go on then.” Zoë said crossing her arms.   
“I… I had been talking with her for a while, I got her a laptop. In return she’d speak with me. We arranged to meet up.” He said looking from Horatio to Zoë, seeing the disgust in Zoë’s eyes.   
“We met up at hers and she suddenly clammed up, she was a tease. I lost my control and took her through to the living room where we fought a little, I didn’t mean to strangle her.” He said looking up at the both of them. He saw the anger in both of their eyes.   
Zoë swallowed, keeping her anger at bay.   
She leant forward on the desk quite close to him and peered into his eyes. “If you ever touch another child again, or even look at one. I can guarantee that I will personally castrate you myself.” She growled at him with gritted teeth. Horatio gave a nod to the officers now that they had got their confession and saw Zoë beginning to lose it slightly.   
The man swallowed, seeing the sincerity in Zoë’s eyes and the officers picked him up by the arms and took him out while Zoë continued to lean on the desk, looking down.   
“Zoë?” Horatio asked softly as he stood to the right of her and back a little.   
Zoë lifted her head and stood up straight, turning to him as she took a deep breath.   
“Everything okay?” Horatio asked softly.   
“Yes, I just don’t have patience for men like him, and never have.” She said looking at Horatio sternly.   
“Are you feeling okay?” Horatio asked, worried about her.   
“Yes, now that he’s off the street and won’t harm another child again.” Zoë said as she kept herself under control.   
Horatio gave her a nod, completely understanding her. Zoë flicked her jacket back as she placed her hands on her hips.   
“I guess we move on to this morning’s case then!” Zoë said letting the previous case go, giving Horatio a nod. He gave her a nod back and they walked out and into the lab.   
“Have you not gone to the site yet?” Zoë asked as she walked over to Ryan.   
“I was just about to go.” He said with a smile. “I heard you caught the killer?” Ryan said giving her a smile as Horatio stood talking to Eric.   
“It was a team effort.” She said with a shy smile.   
“Erm, how did you put it? ‘I may have just put the killer in the palm of your hands’?” Ryan said with a cheeky grin.   
Zoë laughed a little. “I couldn’t have found him if it wasn’t for you guys supplying the evidence or bringing him in. So, I think it’s fair game to say it was a team effort.” She said raising her eyebrows and flashing him a brilliant smile. He continued to smile at her, until he saw Horatio glance over at them, Ryan saw the slight hurt in his eyes, seeing Zoë so close with Ryan.   
“I erm… I should get off.” Ryan said as he quickly excused himself.   
“See you later.” Zoë said as she looked down at Ryan’s notes to get a back ground on the case. Ryan walked out as he took Eric with him and updated him on what he’s found and where they’re going to get the suspect, there was only one guy who had a connection with the victim that worked at the building site.   
Horatio looked over at Zoë, and exhaled silently. He didn’t know if he could take any more of it, he was struggling more and more every day to hide his feelings from her and was finding it increasingly more difficult to get up in the mornings. She didn’t even have a clue. He knew that he’d occasionally slip up and show his feelings but she didn’t pick up on them.  
He admired her a little as she had her back to him and then proceeded to walk out. Before he got to the door, he was stopped by Zoë.   
“Horatio?” She said hearing him move from the door.   
“Yes?” He said as he stopped and looked over at her as she turned around and began to make her way over to him, slowly. Studying him, he knew she was thinking about something.  
“What’s bothering you?” She asked softly as she stood in close to him, keeping her voice quiet.   
“Nothing.” He said simply with a small smile, trying to hide his pain.   
“Horatio, I think I know you a lot better than you think.” She said using the same line he used on her a few days ago. She smiled at him.   
“I know there’s something going on in that head of yours and it’s bothering you.” She said sweetly and caringly. She had no idea what he was thinking.  
“I’m good.” Horatio said raising his eyebrows with a small reassuring smile. He wasn’t going to tell her anything about it.   
“Horatio, you’ve got to let someone in sometime.” She said softly, focusing on his eyes.  
“It’s nothing to worry about.” Horatio said kindly as he continued to smile at her warmly.  
“Okay.” She said nodding her head, knowing that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him.   
“I’ll see you later then.” She said with a smile as he gave her a nod. She walked around him and gently brushed his arm with hers as she passed him. Horatio’s mouth dropped open a little as his arm almost tingled under her touch. He turned around and watched her walk out with a very wide smile on his face. He knew that coming back to work would bring out her old self again and it was doing just that.  
Horatio knew that she was feeling comfortable being back at work and it hurt him even more that she was completely oblivious to his feelings and continues to act normally around him. The fact that both she and Ryan were slightly closer put the finishing bullet in his chest.   
Ryan and Eric finally came back with their suspect and all evidence pointed straight at him. They caught their killer the same day as the murder.   
Horatio had a lot of paperwork to do so texted Zoë to say that he was going to be late.   
‘Don’t worry Horatio, it’s okay. Ryan’s just offered to drive me back anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow morning? Zoë’ She replied back to him.   
‘Certainly, see you then.’ Horatio replied. Zoë walked out with Ryan and he drove her home, she said thank you to him and invited him in. He happily accepted and went in with her as she made a coffee. They sat in the living room, talking, enjoying each other’s company.  
“Hey, you wanna’ get takeaway? I can’t be bothered to cook tonight…” Ryan said with a small smile.  
“Sure, I don’t even think I have the energy to make anything.” She said, exhausted after her first day of being back at work in 4 weeks. Ryan followed her out and she pulled a load of leaflets out of the draw.   
“Take your pick.” She said with a smile.  
“Well, I’m thinking Chinese…” Ryan grinned.   
“You’ve made the right choice.” She grinned and then pulled the leaflet and threw the others back in the draw.   
“Do you want to order?” She questioned.  
“Sure.” Ryan said and she smiled at him.  
“You know what I like anyway.” She grinned and he smiled at her with a nod. Ryan quickly phoned and ordered, then hung up. They walked back into the living room and sat down, finishing their coffees and chatting until the Chinese arrived. They ate out in the kitchen and Ryan soon left. Both of them happy, having enjoyed a lovely evening.   
She relaxed a little before having a 10 minute walk on the treadmill – nothing too strenuous.   
She poured herself a bath and relaxed for 25 minutes and finally got out before getting changed and going back downstairs to relax while watching a film.  
Horatio had just gotten back and made himself a small dinner before showering and going straight to bed. Zoë finally went upstairs around 10.30 and climbed into bed and fell asleep.  
Zoë woke early and had a relaxing day while Horatio put some extra work in at the lab to find Ratner. Sunday evening came around and Horatio still hadn’t found anything more. He went home and they both got an early night. Once again, Horatio didn’t sleep well.

They were both woken by their alarm clocks the next morning after having a rough night sleeping, Zoë because she had a few bad dreams and Horatio because he missed Zoë and it was killing him not to be able to hold her. He felt like he had lost a part of him, he knew it would only be so long until he could no longer take it and something would come out of his mouth.   
They both got up and got ready, Horatio was round Zoë’s to pick her up on time and they drove over to the lab after having a conversation. The both of them looked a little tired.   
“Not much sleep last night?” Zoë asked, seeing the tiredness in his eyes.   
“Something like that, and I was going to say the same to you.” Horatio said as he glanced over at her.   
“Yeah, something like that.” She said, playing him at his own game with a smile, immediately brightening up his morning.   
They arrived at work and the day quickly passed with a new case in, involving a family who had been killed in their home. Before long it was the end of their shift and Horatio was still late because he had so much work to do.   
Zoë said that it was okay because Ryan was going to take her home again, after a quick stop off at the firing range to get her practise back into motion.   
Horatio thanked her for understanding and for letting him know what she was doing.   
Both Ryan and Zoë got into Ryan’s car and they drove over to the firing range, having a conversation as they drove.   
“I’m sure you don’t even need any practise, you’re going to pick up that gun and hit the target spot on, like usual.” Ryan said with a raised eyebrow.   
“Is someone jealous?” She teased.   
“No, I just know that you’re going to be perfect at it.” Ryan said with a smile.   
“Hmm… I don’t know about that, my aim has been pretty off.” She said looking over at him with a smile.   
“We’ll see about that then.” Ryan said as they carried on the conversation.   
They got out at the firing range and Ryan had a few words with the employee, having worked there himself he said that they wouldn’t need any help as Ryan could do it all. Ryan was friends with the employee so he let it slip and agreed.   
Ryan loaded the gun and placed it on the table in front of her. “I can load the gun Ryan…” She said raising her eyebrow at him with a cheeky smile.   
“Sorry, old habits.” Ryan said with a smile as he handed Zoë a pair of plastic glasses and some ear protectors. She flashed him a brilliant smile.   
He picked himself some up and they both put them on.   
“Suits you” she said with a cheeky smile as he chuckled a little.   
“Go ahead.” Ryan simply said gesturing to the gun. Zoë picked the gun up as she leant forwards against the table and aimed it.   
“Woah, Zoë stop” Ryan said as she looked back at him and lowered the gun to the table.   
“What?” She said confused, not sure what she had done wrong.  
“You’re standing all wrong.” Ryan said as he placed both of his hands on the sides of her waist and very gently pulled her back, off the table. He was stood directly behind her, she felt his chest against her back as he continued to hold on to her waist.   
“Relax for me.” He simply said, feeling her tense as the sides of their heads touched. The employee smiled, seeing Ryan so close to her, thinking that he was well in there.   
She pulled the ear protectors off to hear him better. She looked round at him as his head was just above her left shoulder, inches from hers. She looked him in the eyes and gave him a nod as she relaxed herself.   
“Just take a deep breath and completely relax, just focus on your breathing.” Ryan said. She nodded and looked back at the target.  
“Good, now you’re going to take the gun with both hands, with your right hand on the trigger and squeeze gently.” Ryan said softly as he let go of her waist and stood back, glancing over at the grinning employee, just about keeping himself under control in his trousers. Zoë put her ear protectors back over her ears and picked up the gun as Ryan stood a few meters behind, crossing his arms. He moved to the side of her and pressed the target button to move the target to face her.   
She began shooting and then finished. Ryan collected the target paper and brought it back over.   
“That’s awful!” Zoë said laughing to herself, seeing the wide array of bullet holes.   
“It’s not bad, it’s better than some of the people we had here.” Ryan said softly with a smile.   
“Not one direct hit though, I always hit it directly!” She said with a small chuckle.  
“Don’t worry, try again” Ryan said as he armed the target again. She went to pick the gun back up.   
“This time, relax your shoulders.” Ryan said as she nodded and loaded the gun.  
She held it up again to shoot when Ryan stopped her again.   
“I said to relax your shoulders, you’re tense.” Ryan said as she placed the gun back down and tried to relax herself.   
“I’m sorry, I just want to get a good hit.” She said with a smile. “I know.” He replied as he again stepped up behind her and eased her shoulders down into a more relaxed position.   
“There, now try.” Ryan said as he stepped back and to the side.   
Zoë picked the gun back up and began shooting. It was better this time.   
“Try again.” Ryan said with a smile as Zoë nodded and loaded the gun again.   
“You’re trying too hard, you’re a natural at this Zoë so I think you just need to let go and loosen up, stop trying so hard.” Ryan said softly as he placed his hand on her arm. She relaxed herself and shot at the target.   
“You’re getting better; you just need to get back into the swing of things.” Ryan said as he held the target up and she looked at it.   
“One close hit, that’s not too bad.” She said with a smile.   
“One more time?” She questioned and Ryan gave her a nod.   
“Really relax yourself this time.” Ryan said softly. She nodded and exhaled, as she picked the gun back up and relaxed. She shot at the target again and then put the gun down when she finished the rounds. Ryan collected the target.   
“Much better” He said holding it up for her to see.   
“I’m happy with that.” She said with a brilliant smile.   
“Good, do you want to head off then?” Ryan asked as he placed his ear protectors and goggles down as she did the same and nodded at him.   
Ryan gave a wave to the employee as the employee gave him a wave and a wink, thinking that they were an item and almost congratulating him. Ryan shook his head at him and then got in the car with Zoë.  
“Thank you Ryan, I couldn’t have done it without you.” She said as she placed her seatbelt on.   
“Not a problem, any time.” Ryan said softly as he clicked his into place and they drove off. Ryan dropped her back off at home, wondering if she thought anything of him placing his hands on her waist and being close, hoping she did. But he then thought of Horatio and stopped coming on to her immediately, pushing his feelings and desires to the back of his head.  
She thanked him and said bye as she got out and wave him off, happy with the progress she’d made.  
She cooked and ate some dinner and had a shower before relaxing on the sofa, she went to bed at around 11pm while Horatio was still up and just about finishing his paperwork.  
He finally got to bed after showering and eating a small snack.  
Horatio was subject to bad dreams, of his past and of the event which pulled Zoë and Horatio apart, he also still missed her dearly. Zoë got a bit of a better night’s sleep that night.   
Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday all came around and passed quickly with ease. Zoe got back in to the swing of work and was getting a little more comfortable by the end of the week. Horatio made it his priority to make sure he was finished by the end of the day or to take files home as he saw Ryan and Zoë getting closer and closer and couldn’t bear to see it any longer. He could only just cope with being apart from her, but to see her getting even closer with Ryan was killing him more. Thursday evening, Horatio was late to bed while Zoë was early to bed.   
They were then both woken by their alarm clocks and got ready for work. Horatio picked her up and took her to work as they both had another conversation.   
They arrived at work and got straight back to work on the family case. They had two suspects in mind and had them in holding, all they had to do was prove it was either one of them or both of them that committed the crime. By 4pm they had proven that they were both in on the crime and sent them for booking once all the evidence was piled up against them.   
Zoë relaxed back in the lab and stumbled across a file on the computer. Ryan and Eric were elsewhere, sorting out the evidence while Horatio was just finishing up on some paperwork.   
Zoë sat back and clicked on the file and opened it, she found details of when she was taken with Horatio. She found the beginning of the autopsy report that Alexx had begun, she sat straight up, shocked. She found pictures of her injuries and then photos of the crime scene and evidence. She saw herself looking dead on Alexx’s table.  
She stumbled across the CCTV footage of the room they were held in and clicked on it, not sure if she wanted to see it or not. She sat back in horror with her hand covering her mouth as she watched the screen. Horatio silently entered and walked up behind her, then realised what she was watching.   
“Zoë?” he asked a little shocked. She sat straight back up and looked around to him, startled.   
She swallowed and blinked a few times, sitting straight. She quickly closed the window and took a deep breath, looking away from Horatio.  
“Zoë, sweetheart?” Horatio questioned, waiting for her to say that she was okay.  
Instead she just got up and quickly walked out running her hands through her hair. “Sorry Horatio.” She said as she walked out.   
Horatio wanted to go after her but thought it was better if he gave her some time and quickly secured that file so no one other than him and his clearance level could have access to it.   
He told himself that he was stupid not to do that before.   
Zoë’s mind was racing, repeating the things she saw, the autopsy report, the pictures and the first few minutes of the footage. She was breathing heavily to try and calm herself down, she knew it was in the past and it wasn’t worth getting upset about but she couldn’t help herself. She found herself getting stressed. Horatio hadn’t seen her for 5 minutes and decided it was best to go and look for her, he rushed out of the lab.  
“H, what’s wrong?” Ryan called as he saw the rush Horatio was in.   
“Zoë… she found the file on the computer about…” Ryan instantly knew what he meant.   
“Okay H. I’ll get looking.” Ryan said understanding the scale of the situation and what it could potentially do to her. The best outcome was that she put it behind her, but still had the images in her head. The worst is that it could set back her recovery and do more damage than good.  
They split and began looking as Horatio dialled for her, it went through to voicemail, he hadn’t realised that she had left it in the break room though.   
Horatio checked outside and checked that all the hummers were still in place.   
She wasn’t in the building at all and didn’t seem to be outside at all either.


	22. Chapter 22

Ryan finally found her outside on the side stairs. He slowly approached her, feeling relieved that he finally found her and quickly texted Horatio.  
“Zoë?” Ryan asked as he approached her from behind, she quickly glanced back and then continued to look ahead, giving him the permission to come closer.   
“Zoë, are you okay? I know you found–”  
“I’m fine.” She said looking forward as she had her hands clasped together and leant on the railings.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryan asked softly, not really knowing what to do about the situation.   
“There’s nothing to talk about Ryan.” She said bluntly. She was feeling a lot more stressed, but seemed to remain calm on the outside. She just took a few deep breaths and exhaled through her nose.  
“Then why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Ryan asked cautiously, standing close to her, leaning on the railing himself, looking over at her. She exhaled and the door opened behind them.   
Ryan quickly looked round and shook his head at Horatio who gave him a knowing nod and backed off.  
Zoë glanced round but Horatio had already disappeared.  
“You can talk to me about anything Zoë.” Ryan said very softly.  
“I know sweetie.” She said as she looked around to him and saw his caring expression; she stood up straight and took another deep breath. Ryan stood up straight too and stood close to her, facing her. ‘Sweetie, she said sweetie!’ Was just all about he could concentrate on, but was then pulled back into the situation seeing her get stressed.  
“Then talk to me.” He said very delicately as he gently brushed the side of her arm tenderly.   
She exhaled through her nose and looked into his eyes.  
“It’s what they put you through, what Horatio went through… even what Alexx went through, it’s what you all went through Ryan. I cannot begin to imagine how you all felt; I still don’t even remember what happened.” Zoë said as she ran a hand through her hair. Ryan gave her a nod and softly looked back into her eyes, comforting her.   
“I don’t know what to do about it.” Zoë said looking at him.   
“You don’t do anything. All that matters is that you’re here now and that’s all we ask for. What happened, happened. We may have gone through a lot to accept what happened and to see you… but you’re here now and back working and that’s more than we could ever imagine. We were told that you wouldn’t ever wake up and if you did you’d have severe brain damage but you’re here working with us and I cannot explain just how much that means to us and that feeling certainly outweighs whatever we felt when this all happened. Okay?” Ryan said softly, as he looked at her for a small smile.  
She knew what he was saying was true; she gave him a nod and a small smile. The images were still running through her head and she couldn’t get rid of them. She saw the damage that was done to Horatio’s wrists and she felt sick about it. She looked down as the images flashed before her eyes.  
“You can get through this, I know you can.” Ryan said with a reassuring smile, as he placed his other hand lightly on the side of her head and lifted it to look into her eyes and reassure her once again.   
She gave him a smile and a nod. “Thank you sweetie” she said softly and quietly as she felt slightly better about it. Ryan gave her a warm hug as he delicately played with the strands of her hair down her back. He inhaled and felt her body close to his and it made him weak at the knees, he wanted her so badly.  
“Coffee?” She asked as they broke from the hug. “Sounds like a plan” Ryan said with a smile. He held the door open for her as they walked in and down into the break room. Zoë walked over to the kettle and put it on boil as she pulled two cups out of the cupboard and put the coffee in.  
Ryan leaned against the counter facing her. She tied her hair up as they casually spoke.   
The kettle had finished boiling and she picked it up to pour it into the cups as Ryan spoke to her.  
He looked back round to her and saw the same vacant expression on her face as he witnessed in the hospital and saw the boiling water pour out of the kettle and all over the side and then down on to the floor.   
“Zoë!” Ryan said as he very quickly placed his left hand around her stomach and waist and placed his right hand over hers on the kettle handle. He placed his head next to hers as he put the kettle down and pulled her hand away from it. His chest was against her back and just at this point Horatio walked past the break room. He saw Ryan embracing Zoë from behind and his heart immediately sank and shattered into thousands of pieces.  
Ryan pulled her back and away from the side with the hot water and moved from behind her to stand in front of her; he took a hold of her and saw Horatio looking shocked.   
He gestured for him to come straight in and Horatio saw the urgency in his eyes. He placed his hand on the side of her face and gently brushed her temple, seeing her glazed over eyes and vacant expression. Horatio rushed over and placed his hand on her back as he moved around to the front of Zoë and got a look at her face too.   
“She was pouring the kettle.” Ryan said as he moved back and looked down to see if she had poured the hot water on herself. She didn’t seem to have any water on her.   
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio asked.   
“Has this happened since being out of the hospital?” Ryan asked extremely worried.   
“Yes, it’s nothing to worry about.” Horatio said softly. “She’ll be back with us in a moment.” Horatio said as Ryan continued to keep his hand on her arm.  
She blinked and looked back up at Ryan then to Horatio. She looked at them confused again.   
“Come and sit down sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as she looked over at him, realising what had just happened.   
Horatio placed his hand on her back as he took a hold of her hand and guided her over to the sofa.  
He sat her down and sat next to her while Ryan stood in front of them.   
She looked up and saw the worry and shock on Ryan’s face.   
“I’m sorry sweetie.” She said looking up at him.  
“Don’t be sorry, are you okay?” Ryan asked still worried.   
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Zoë said with a small shy smile and then she looked over at Horatio.  
“I think perhaps we should get you home?” Horatio asked softly.   
“No, I’m fine, really.” She said with a reassuring smile. “Anyway, I’ve got a report to write.” She said with a small smile. Horatio just looked at her, willing her to give in to him.   
“Seriously, I feel fine. I just want that coffee.” She said as she placed her left hand over his as he subconsciously held her wrist gently. He realised when she placed her hand over his in reassurance.  
“Okay, but I’m taking you back as soon as you’re finished here. It’s Friday afternoon and we shouldn’t be getting any more calls anyway. Come and find me when you’re done, okay?” Horatio asked softly as he let go of her wrist when she removed her hand from his.   
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” She said giving him another reassuring smile as he got up. He gave her a nod then gave Ryan a look and silently told him to keep a close eye on her, to which Ryan nodded.   
“That coffee” Zoë said as she began to get up.   
“No, I’ll make it this time. You sit there for me.” Ryan said as he relaxed, seeing that she was okay. She chuckled slightly and gave him a nod.   
He re-boiled the kettle and poured the coffee, he stirred the cups and then walked over to Zoë and handed her one as he sat down next to her.   
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” She said looking over to him as she held the cup.   
“You don’t need to apologise, it’s okay.” Ryan said softly. They casually chatted, Zoë still feeling a little stressed, but feeling a lot better. They finished their coffee’s and went back through to the lab after washing the cups up.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ryan asked as he opened the door for Zoë.  
“Yes, I’m fine.” She said with a smile as she walked past him and gave him a nod to say thank you for holding the door.   
“Okay.” Ryan said as he walked behind her. She leant on the desk and looked at her report.  
She pulled a chair over and sat down and began to write a few things down, Ryan cleared up some evidence as he stood next to Zoë. Zoë finished the report and filed it away and helped Ryan clear and put the evidence away. She looked back over at the computer where she found the files and her curiosity once again grew. But then she saw the images of Horatio’s wrists again and everything else. Ryan placed his hand on her back. “Hey, you okay?” He asked softly. She turned to him and gave him a smile and nodded her head.   
“Could you help me take these evidence boxes down to the locker?” Ryan asked, pulling Zoë’s attention from the computer.   
“Sure pretty boy.” She said with a smile as she picked up a box and walked with him.   
They booked them in and then left.   
“You should probably go and find Horatio now.” Ryan said with a small smile.   
“I’ll do it in a minute, just got one last thing to do.” She said softly with a smile.   
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” Ryan said as they began to part ways.   
“I’ll see you soon.” Zoë said with a smile. Ryan went through to the locker room as Zoë went back into the lab and looked around before sitting back down at the computer. She tried to access the file again as her curiosity got the better of her but found that she couldn’t access it.   
“Horatio…” She said quietly realising that he had blocked her out of it. She got up and exhaled, letting it go thinking that it was probably best and that he was only looking out for her.  
She went through to the locker room where Ryan was still sorting out his locker.   
“Hey, still here? Would have thought you’d be out with a shot.” She said with a smile as she opened her locker and pulled out her hand bag.   
“Nah, I can’t act too enthusiastic to leave because knowing my luck, I’ll be called straight back.” Ryan said with a smile.   
“That’s true.” She said with a smile as she picked up her lip balm and applied it to her lips again.   
She gave him a smile and then said “see you later sweetie” and he then smiled at her and gave her a nod. Ryan also grinned at her, he felt so much better now that she was calling him what she used to call him. ‘She’s coming back to us’ he thought to himself.   
“I’ll see you soon.” He said with a smile and then she turned around and left, she strolled over to Horatio’s office and then knocked on his door.   
“Come in.” Horatio said as he stood up and smiled as she entered the office.   
“Hey.” She said as she laid her eyes on his.   
“Ready to go?” He asked softly as he picked up his keys.   
“Yep” she said with a small smile. Horatio walked around the desk and they walked out and down to his car where they got in. They clicked their seatbelts into place and Horatio placed his hands on the steering wheel as he turned the keys in the ignition. Zoë looked over at his wrists and she felt her emotions running wild again. She quickly looked back out of the passenger window, he saw her behaviour change when she looked over at his wrists and he knew that she had seen a photo of them when they were bleeding and cut open.   
He pulled his sleeves down.   
“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He said looking over at her with a soft expression. She didn’t look back round, she just nodded as she bit her lip and leant on her hand. She swallowed and took a deep breath. He felt bad for not locking the file up before she went back to work, he knew that she was a very curious woman, but he just didn’t think.  
“Ready to go?” He asked softly as he brushed her arm with his hand, trying to give her some sort of comfort.  
She looked around to him and gave him a nod and a small smile as she looked into his calm blue eyes.   
“Okay.” He said giving her a warm smile as he placed his hands back on the wheel and drove off.  
“Sweetheart, you know if you want to talk about anything, you’re always welcome to, don’t you?” Horatio asked, glancing over at her.   
“I know, thank you.” She said quietly as she glanced over to him and then looked down into her lap. She looked back out of the passenger window and exhaled through her nose.  
“I kind of wish that I never looked at that file now.” She said looking back over to him with a small smile.   
“I know sweetheart, I’m sorry for not getting rid of it before you came back.” Horatio apologised, glancing over at her.   
“No honey, I’m the one who looked at it, it was my choice to look. My curiosity got the better of me. You don’t need to apologise.” She said softly. ‘Honey! Oh thank God.’ Horatio thought to himself.  
“I should have done something.” Horatio said concentrating on the road.   
“No, it’s not your fault. It’s okay.” Zoë said as she looked back out of the window.   
Horatio exhaled through his nose.   
They finally arrived at Zoë’s and Horatio pulled up on the drive.  
“Are you going to be okay?” Horatio asked softly as he looked over at her.   
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you Horatio.” She said giving him a reassuring smile as she unclicked her seatbelt.   
“Okay, give me a shout if you need anything.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
She gave him a nod and opened the door. “I’ll see you soon.” She said with a smile.   
“I’ll see you soon.” He replied as he watched her get out and close the door. She walked up to her house and let herself in and turned back to watch Horatio pull off the drive. She gave him a smile and then closed the door as he drove off.   
She leant against the door as the system greeted her. She exhaled softly and kicked her shoes off before going to lay down on the sofa. She flicked the TV on and watched it for about 45 minutes before pulling herself up to make some dinner.  
The images kept rolling around in her head and she couldn’t concentrate on the dinner, Alexx’s autopsy report flashed up a few times, but Horatio’s wrists was one of the main disturbing images.   
She could feel her stress levels elevate and pulled out a bar of chocolate and ate a few squares before putting it back. She sat back down on the sofa, waiting for the oven to beep. It finally beeped and she dished up and sat in the living room and ate.   
She finished and placed the plate on the coffee table as she sat back and just let her mind take over.  
She couldn’t control it any longer as the first part of the video played in her head as well as the photos, she empathised with Horatio and Alexx, Horatio because he went through the whole thing and Alexx because she had to write an autopsy report on her.   
She put her plate away eventually and went to have a shower, wanting to get an early night and forget about the day.  
As she got in the shower, her thoughts ran even wilder as she remembered the feeling she got when Nathan said she could be pregnant.   
She began thinking about everything again and it was driving her insane. She quickly got out of the shower, and changed into her shorts and top. She sat on her bed and suddenly she snapped. The stress had gotten to her.  
She burst out in hysterical tears and began to tremble slightly. She closed her eyes and laid back on the bed, wiping her eyes with her hands as the tears fell. She finally calmed herself down after 5 minutes and completely dried her eyes.   
She dropped her arms to the bed as she opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling; she just laid there for 10 minutes, in a sort of catatonic state, completely zoned out and thinking of nothing. She then snapped out of the daze and remembered that she left the TV on and stood up from the bed. She looked down as she pulled her top down as it had ridden up and she just screamed. She looked around the room as she stopped screaming and began to breathe erratically. She began to tremble as she quickly ran out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her. She looked at her hands and then ran them through her hair as she quickly made her way downstairs. She was breathing heavily as she began to panic. She didn’t know what to do.   
“Horatio” she said to herself as she made her way to the front door and slammed it shut after her, breathing heavily and erratically as she quickly walked down the road barefoot in her shorts and small top.  
She quickly arrived at Horatio’s and walked up his drive and banged on his door, in a state of shock. She pulled on her hair again as she waited for Horatio to answer the door. She saw the hall light flick on, meaning he was coming to the door. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she tried to keep a hold of her emotions, but the more she held on to them, the worse she got.


	23. Chapter 23

He opened the door and his eyes widened as he looked at a petrified Zoë.   
“Zoë? What’s wrong?” Horatio asked immediately as he noticed she didn’t even have shoes on. She stood there trembling a little as she opened her mouth but nothing came out with floods of tears cascading down her cheeks.   
“Come in sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he very delicately took one of her hands in his. He pulled her in and closed the door behind her.   
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked as he placed his hand on her arm and gently rubbed it, whilst still holding a firm grip on her hand.  
“There… there’s blood ev…everywhere.” She stuttered looking up at Horatio whose face instantly dropped, as his eyes widened even more.   
“What? Where? Are you hurt Zoë?” Horatio asked as he let go of her hand and placed it on her face, gently brushing her cheek as she continued to tremble beneath his hands. He quickly scanned her body with his eyes but saw no blood or wounds. He stepped to the side and looked down her back and the back of her legs and again saw no blood.  
“Zoë, calm down for me beautiful. Where is the blood?” Horatio asked, searching her terrified eyes.   
“Everywhere! Look!” She said frantically as she waved her hands in front of him. ‘How can he not see this! It’s dripping! It’s dripping everywhere! What happened?’ She questioned frantically, becoming more and more distressed.  
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing there.” Horatio said softly, taking both hands in his.  
“It’s there… it is! I can see it.” She said looking back up at him. Horatio grew very concerned and exhaled, not knowing what to do. ‘What is going on with her? Is this because of earlier? Is this because she saw those photos? Is this my doing? I should have blocked her out of it before. It stressed her out, why did I not see her anxiety and suffering earlier? I should have stayed with her, then perhaps this wouldn’t be happening.’ He thought to himself.   
“Horatio” she pleaded quietly, looking to him for help. He let go of one of her hands.   
“It’s okay sweetheart.” He said softly as he moved his hand around to the back of her head and gently pulled her in to hug her. He protectively wrapped his arms around her. Her mind was blank and unable to focus on anything but the blood she was convinced she was covered in.  
“It’s everywhere.” She said against his chest as she put her arms around his waist.  
“Okay, it’s okay sweetheart. I’ve got you.” Horatio said quietly and calmly as he tenderly rubbed her back. He could feel her heart beat against his chest, proving just how hard and fast it was beating.  
“It’s on my hands.” She murmured into his chest again, still breathing heavily as she pulled her hands from around his waist and up onto his chest as she lightly pushed away, looking back up into his concerned and caring shimmering blue eyes.   
“Shall we go and wash your hands?” Horatio suggested, not knowing what else to do.   
‘It’s all in her head, it must be some sort of extreme stress response, if she washes her hands, perhaps she’ll think that it’s gone?’ He thought to himself, trying to understand what she was going through.  
She just looked at him, and then nodded. He placed his hand on her back and took a hold of one of her hands as he led her through to the downstairs bathroom. He quickly filled the basin with warm water and she washed her hands.   
“It’s not coming off.” She cried looking back round to Horatio.   
“Okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he approached her and stood behind her, taking hold of her hands as his chest made contact with her back. He gently rubbed her hands in the water and he felt her breathing relax slightly.   
He continued to delicately rub her hands and fingers and felt her breathing relax more.  
She looked down at her hands and watched Horatio’s tenderly rub hers. She could see the blood coming off her hands, but Horatio didn’t see anything apart from their hands in the water.  
She looked up into the mirror ahead and gasped, seeing blood on her chest and neck. Her breathing deepened again as her eyes locked onto her bloody neck and chest.  
“It’s okay, stay calm for me sweetheart.” Horatio said as he saw her looking at her neck and chest.   
His heart ached for her, for the pain she was going through; he wanted to make it all better for her.  
“Sweetheart, look at me.” Horatio said looking at her in the mirror. She looked up at him, and he saw the panic in her eyes.   
“Stay calm, you’re doing really well. Where is it?” Horatio asked softly, giving her a calm expression.   
“Everywhere” she said as she closed her eyes and shook her head, she wanted it all to be a bad dream, but she didn’t seem to wake up. ‘I don’t understand!’ She sobbed in her head.  
“Okay sweetheart, stay calm for me. I’ll get there.” Horatio said softly as he watched her nod in the mirror as she opened her eyes and looked at him. She tried to take a deep breath, looking into his calming eyes but even that felt like it was too difficult with the lump in her throat.  
He gave her a nod as he let go of one of her hands and pulled a new wash cloth from the shelf and put it in the water. He let go of her hands and pulled her hair back, away from her chest. ‘Just how much torment is she going to have to through, this is too much for her. I can’t watch her suffer like this. There has to be something more I can do?’ He thought as he gazed up to her panicked expression. She hadn’t even processed the situation, she didn’t process Horatio standing behind her, making contact with her.   
‘How am I going to do this?’ Horatio questioned himself, not wanting to over step the line between them and also trying to keep himself under control; there seemed to be something very sexual about the situation and the way he touched her.   
‘Will this atmosphere please go away! I can’t focus on making sure she’s okay. I’m trying my best to keep it cool but it’s not working. It must be her vulnerability. You shouldn’t find that arousing! It’s not that, it must be her skin, it’s so beautiful, it’s the pinnacle of perfection. It’s the way that my fingers run over her delicate skin and how she’s allowing it after so long. She’s mentally torn up, stop thinking about things like this! There’s nothing sexual about the situation at all, focus Horatio!’ He scalded himself.   
She didn’t experience the sexual atmosphere as she was still in a blind panic. ‘Has she even realised were she is?’ Horatio questioned himself, wondering what was going on in her head. He wringed out the wash cloth and very gently pulled her back, to stand up straight. She continued to look in the mirror as she followed Horatio’s hand with her eyes.   
He very tenderly began to rub Zoë’s chest. She rested her hands on the basin as she continued to watch his delicate hand wipe away the blood. She looked down and instantly began to panic again.  
“It’s everywhere!” Zoë cried.   
“Okay beautiful, just listen to my voice, you’re okay.” Horatio said as she looked back up in to the mirror at him.  
“Horatio” she cried as Horatio stopped rubbing at her chest. ‘What is happening? Why is Horatio here? Why is there blood everywhere?!’ She began to fight with the tears once more but was then quickly focused back on the blood. She could feel it seeping through her clothes, she could feel it run down her body.  
She looked back down, looking past his hand and down at her stomach. She took deep breaths as she pulled at her top, pulling it up. Horatio had no idea what else he could do, it tore him apart to see her like this. He wasn’t sure what was going on in her mind. She took a large deep breath as she pulled her top all the way up, to reveal her ribs, just below her bra.   
“Why?” she asked looking back in to the mirror at Horatio. Horatio didn’t know what to say, she looked back down at her stomach. He saw her becoming more responsive and more aware of her surroundings.  
“I can’t do this, I can’t. It’s everywhere.” She cried as she pulled at her top. She began to get extremely agitated and Horatio took a step back, knowing she needed some space.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to calm down for me. Take a deep breath.” Horatio said softly.  
“I can’t Horatio” she cried again as she turned to him.  
“It’s everywhere! My top, it’s soaking.” She cried as she quickly pulled her top off. She hadn’t even registered that she was standing there in almost nothing but shorts and a bra.   
“Sweetheart I need you to calm down.” Horatio said very softly, reaching out and placing his hand on her arm and then very sensually began to brush her arm with his fingers. She looked back into the mirror and saw blood everywhere. ‘Am I going crazy or what?’ She questioned as she took a deep breath. Horatio saw her relax slightly and realised that it was the bodily contact that she needed. He trained his eyes on hers in the mirror, not even looking down at her body. He stepped back up close to her again.  
“Sweetheart, calm down for me.” Horatio said soothingly as he wisped her hair out of her face. He lightly pulled her hair back, behind her ears. She closed her eyes and let him do it. Horatio noticed that she had begun to calm more and remembered back to when she was in the hospital, when he played with her hair she began to relax when she was stressed or agitated. He continued to delicately play with hair, relaxing her more. ‘She’s relaxing, thank heavens, I should have used this before, I know it relaxes her.’ Horatio thought as he watched the rising and falling of her chest slow to a slower rate, returning to normal.  
He began to rub at her chest again and she opened her eyes and watched his hand wash the blood away. He felt her breathing relax and slow as he stopped playing with her hair and placed his hand on her arm. She saw the blood gone from her chest and he saw her eyes wander up to her neck, letting him know that it was time to move on up to her neck. He delicately moved up to her neck when she gasped and her eyes widened, quickly placed her hand over Horatio’s and pulled it away from her neck.  
“I’m sorry sweetheart” Horatio said quietly as she pulled her head away from his hands. She composed herself and looked back in the mirror, she took a deep breath and looked at Horatio.  
He reassured her again and she gently placed Horatio’s hand back on her neck as she looked at him, with complete trust in her eyes.  
“It’s okay sweetheart” Horatio said softly into her ear. She looked down at her stomach and looked back up, trying to remain calm, but Horatio saw the distress in her eyes.  
“Okay sweetheart, I’m getting there” he said softly as he pulled the wash cloth away from her throat. He leant in closer to her, pushing himself against her back as he looked down, over her shoulder at her stomach. Horatio saw her breathing relax as she watched him in the mirror wipe the blood away. He tried his best to focus on her stomach and not her breasts. He lifted his head and watched her watch his hand as her facial expression began to soften. This was the closest she’d allowed him to be since that morning they were taken. He ached for her, but had to bury his urges to take care of her in her vulnerable position. He had to fight the urge to begin kissing at her neck, it took all of his will power, but then got his priorities right as he felt her relax more. He rubbed at her stomach one more time before putting the wash cloth back in the basin.  
“Better?” Horatio asked softly, looking at her in the mirror.   
“Yes, thank you.” She said as she looked into the mirror at him, with a soft but still slightly panicked facial expression. He gently placed his hands on her waist and pulled her away from the basin and pulled the hand towel from the railing and dried his hands before drying her hands too. He very tenderly began to dry her chest and stomach as she took another deep breath, and fought with the tears again and Horatio saw it. He looked for permission to wipe at her neck, but she didn’t understand the look he was giving her.  
“Can I dry your neck?” He asked, realising that she didn’t understand the look. She gave him a small hesitant nod, but trusted him, he delicately dried her neck, using a dabbing motion, not wiping and then threw the towel down.  
He sat her on the loo “stay here sweetheart, I’m going to get you a top.” Horatio said softly as he quickly turned and left. She looked down at the floor in a daze. Horatio quickly came back with a dark blue t-shirt in his hand. He took one of her hands and she looked up at him, stirring from her daze.   
“I’m going to help you put this t-shirt on, okay?” Horatio said softly and she gave him a slow nod and stood up as Horatio helped her. It still hadn’t occurred to her that she was standing in front of Horatio, partially naked, if she had she’d probably burst into hysterics again. He got her to put her arms in and then pulled the shirt over her head and pulled it down and sorted it out.  
He slowly raised his hand and placed it around the back of her head to pull her back in for another hug and she placed her arms loosely around his waist. She tried to calm her breathing down and succeeded a little.   
“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you home.” He said warmly as they pulled out from the hug.   
She nodded at him, as she looked up into his eyes. He placed his hand around her back and led her out of the bathroom, whilst holding her hand.   
As they walked through to the front door, Zoë stopped and looked into the living room. ‘Horatio’s house?’ She thought to herself, becoming more receptive of her surroundings.  
“Zoë, sweetheart?” Horatio called lightly and pulled her attention away from the living room. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking about or if she had remembered anything about them. Part of him hoped that she did remember, another part begged her to not remember just yet as something like that could possibly make her worse.  
They walked out to the hall. “Here, put some shoes on.” He said softly as he gestured to a pair as he slipped another pair on.   
“I know it’s not going to go with what you’re wearing, but at least it will stop you from hurting your feet.” He said with a smile as he took his jacket off. She gave him a small smile herself as she slipped the shoes on and he put his jacket around her shoulders. They walked over to the door and he opened it, letting her out as he closed it again after her. He put an arm around her lower back and rested his hand on her waist whilst taking hold of her hand with his other hand.  
They walked back to Zoë’s and Horatio let them in, she immediately tensed up as images began to flood back. She kicked Horatio’s shoes off slowly, leaving them by hers. Horatio closed the door behind them and led her into the living room where he flicked the lights on and sat her on the sofa, still wrapped in his jacket.  
She looked down at his wrists as he sat next to her and could see the image of his raw wrists again.   
She instantly looked back up and over to the drawn curtains, taking a deep breath, keeping herself under control.  
“Thank you… Horatio” she said exhaling and looking back over at him.  
“Not a problem sweetheart. I think it’s best if we get you to bed, okay?” He said softly. She nodded at him and rose to her feet as he did.   
“Thanks.” She said softly as she handed him his jacket back.   
“You go on up, I’ll be right up in a moment. Okay?” Horatio said softly as she again nodded at him. She turned around and walked out as Horatio instantly pulled his phone out and dialled for Nathan.  
“Nathan, something’s not right with Zoe.”  
“Horatio, okay, explain it to me.”   
“She came round to mine about 20 minutes ago, hysterical and convinced that she was covered in blood. There wasn’t a drop on her.” Horatio said softly and quietly, not wanting her to hear it.  
“Okay, has anything in particular happened today or recently?” Nathan questioned.   
“She found photos and footage of the kidnapping as well as her half-finished autopsy report.” Horatio said quietly when he heard a loud slam of a door upstairs.   
“Zoë?!” Horatio called as he sprinted out of the living room and up the stairs.   
“I’ll call you back.” Horatio said as he hung up, he turned into the hall and saw her backed against the wall. She looked at her bedroom door and then over to Horatio.   
“It’s back; it’s all over my hands again.” She said terrified.   
“Okay blossom.” He said as he rushed over to her and placed his hand on her back again as he took her through to her bathroom.   
“We’re going to wash your hands again, okay?” Horatio said warmly.   
“What’s going on Horatio?” She asked as he ran the water, filling the basin.   
“I don’t know sweetheart.” He said softly as he turned the water back off.   
Again he stood behind her and took hold of her hands and began to rub them in the water.   
She looked down and watched his hands wash the blood off again.   
3 minutes later she was relaxing again, he felt this and let go of her hands and pulled the hand towel and dried their hands.   
“Why’s there blood in my room? What’s happening?” She questioned, upset. Horatio just shook his head as he didn’t have an answer for her but doubted that there was any blood in her room at all.   
“Perhaps one of the spares for tonight?” Horatio suggested. She nodded at him as he took her through to a spare bedroom.  
“Thank you for everything.” She said sincerely, keeping herself calm.  
“Don’t worry about it, just try and get some sleep. I’m down the road if you need me, okay?” Horatio said softly and she gave him a nod and a small smile. He helped her into the bed and pulled the duvet over her, looking at her still panicked and stressed expression.   
“Just try and stay calm sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he threaded his fingers in her hair as she looked over and up to him. She quickly began to fall asleep as he continued to play with her hair. Once she was almost asleep, he began to make his way for the door, and closed it too, taking one last look at her, his heart breaking.   
He made his way downstairs. He waited 5 minutes, listening for any movement, in case she needed him again.   
Horatio picked up the shoes Zoë wore and left, hoping that she was asleep.  
Horatio took a deep breath as he got outside, keeping his own emotions from taking hold of him. ‘No-one has ever had such a strong hold of my emotions like this. I’m not even sure I can carry on, but I have to, she needs me more than ever and I have to be there for her.’ He thought as he walked back over to his and then rang Nathan again.   
“Hi, Nathan? Sorry about that.” Horatio said softly.   
“No a problem, so you say that she saw some images and footage from when you were held captive?” Nathan asked.   
“Yes, she initially seemed a little shocked and got a little stressed, but then seemed fine after. It wasn’t until she was home that she seemed to have a problem.”   
“Okay…” Nathan said thinking.   
“She seemed to be very disturbed by the image of my wrists and found it difficult to look at them.” Horatio added.   
“Okay, that helps… I think it’s an extreme case of stress. Are you still with her?” Nathan asked softly.   
“No, she’s in bed now, hopefully sleeping.” Horatio said on the phone.   
“Okay, the key is to calm her and keep her that way. I think it is most likely linked with stress brought on by what she had seen. I think this was probably a breakdown, where she couldn’t take anymore. However, if she is still experiencing difficulties tomorrow, you should bring her in.” Nathan said softly.   
“Thank you Nathan.” Horatio said softly as he rubbed his eyes and then ran his hand through his hair.  
“No problem, any other problems give me a call.” Nathan said   
“Will do, thanks.” Horatio said as they hung up.   
Horatio had a shower, keeping his phone with him in case Zoë rang him and then got into bed.   
He had some trouble getting to sleep as he was worrying about Zoë, but finally dropped off around 3.30am.  
The next morning Horatio got up around 8am, after sleeping through his alarm and quickly had a shower and got dressed. He thought about texting Zoë but decided against it as she could still be sleeping and he didn’t want to disturb her if she was.   
He sorted himself out and had a quick cup of coffee before heading over to Zoë’s to quietly check up on her. He let himself in quietly and had a quick look around the kitchen to see if she had been down to make herself a cup of tea yet. It didn’t look like she had so he quietly walked up the stairs and down the hall to the spare bedroom, the door was open but no sign of Zoë. He then checked her main bathroom, the other spares and then the one with her gym equipment and then last of all her bedroom and en-suite. There was no sign of her. He saw her phone on the bedside table and went over to check it. There was an unread message from Ryan from the previous evening. Horatio turned around and frantically rushed downstairs. He quickly rushed outside into the back garden.   
“Zoë!!” Horatio said raising his voice, with a distinct tone of alarm. He saw her in the pool, still with her shorts and t-shirt on. He ran over to her as she was mostly in the water, but leaning on the side, with her arms crossed and her head bowed in her arms at the side of the pool.   
“Zoë? Can you hear me?” Horatio said loudly as he knelt down on both of his knees and placed his hands either side of her head to lift it up. He saw the vacant expression on her face again, he exhaled and then gently placed her head back down on her arms as he stepped up onto one foot whilst kneeling on the other and placed his hands under her arms. He gently hauled her out of the pool and could feel that she was freezing.  
He laid her by the side of the pool as her head flopped to the side as he laid her down, he then moved her head into position to make sure her airways were not obstructed. He instantly took his jacket off and placed it over her as he looked up and around, wondering what to do. He took her pulse – it was fast.  
“Zoë, can you hear me?” Horatio called as he leant over her and placed two hands either side of her face, looking down at her pale face.  
He then put his head to her chest and heard her heart beating fast as well as her fast breathing. He then placed both hands either side of her head again.   
“Come on Zoë, wake up for me sweetheart.” Horatio said as he checked her body over for any injuries. He quickly lifted her legs to see if there were any injuries to the backs of her legs, but there wasn’t.  
“Come on sweetheart.” Horatio said as he gently rubbed her cheeks.   
‘I need to get her in and warmed up, she could have been in here for hours! She could have drowned! I shouldn’t have left her! This is my fault again!’ Horatio howled at himself.   
He put his arm under her legs and then around her back and lifted her, quickly rushing over to the door and straight in as he’d left the door open, he could feel her body quiver. He quickly laid her on the sofa and a lined her head for clear airways before running upstairs to grab two towels, he ran back down and got her first aid kit from in the kitchen and then back into the living room.   
He sat down on the edge of the sofa and began to hastily dry her with one of the towels. He wiped down her legs and then arms and then dabbed at her torso to try and soak up as much water as he could. Her clothes were still soaked and the sofa was getting wet too, but all he was concentrating on was getting her well again. He wrapped the other dry towel around her as he pulled out his phone as he put a thermometer in her ear. He dialled for Nathan as the thermometer beeped – 35.3degrees.   
“Hello?” Nathan answered.   
“Nathan, I’ve just come round to Zoë’s I found her in her pool, leaning on the side and very cold. I’ve managed to get her in and relatively dry, but she’s got that vacant look on her face again and doesn’t seem to be snapping out of it as easily this time. Her temperature is 35.3degrees and she isn’t responding to me.” Horatio said while he put the thermometer down and began rubbing at her stomach and arms in a desperate attempt to warm her.  
“Okay okay, do you know how long she was in there for?” Nathan asked.   
“I don’t have a clue, I just found her in there.” Horatio said as he gently brushed the side of her face with the back of his hand.   
“Okay, is her airway clear? Do you know if she’s swallowed any water?” Nathan asked.   
Horatio leant over her and placed his hear to her chest, then moved his head up to listen to the air pass her lips freely. “Yes, it’s clear, she’s breathing rapidly but I can hear some wheezing.” Horatio said as he sat back up, looking down at her. He saw her blink as her eyes un-glazed. She looked over and up at Horatio looking completely confused.   
“Zoë, sweetheart, are you with me?” Horatio asked as he gently brushed her temple. She nodded at him and felt extremely cold as her trembling began more vigorous.   
“Nathan, she’s awake.” Horatio said softly.   
“Can she speak to you?” Nathan asked.   
“Sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Horatio asked as she looked back up at him.   
“Cold” she said quietly as she looked down and studied the towel over her.   
“Yes she can.” Horatio said as he continued to brush her temple.   
“Okay, here’s what you’re going to do, it doesn’t sound enough to bring her in immediately… but you need to get her warm, she’s verging on hypothermia in which case she needs to be brought in. If her temperature drops below 35 degrees that’s when you bring her in. She needs to wear some warm dry clothes and rest. It is sounding to me like she’s under a lot of stress. Keep her calm and get her to eat something and drink something warm, not hot - warm. Don’t get her to have a shower that could present more complications than solutions. If she has another blackout and it seems to last longer than usual, bring her straight in. I’ll move the appointment to Monday morning at 11.25. Is that okay?”   
“Okay, thank you Nathan. That’s fine.”   
“Call me if you have any other worries.” Nathan said softly.   
“Will do, thank you.” Horatio said as he hung up and put his phone away.   
“Sweetheart, we’re going to get you upstairs and into some dry clothes, okay?” Horatio said softly   
“What… what happened?” She asked very sleepily.   
“I don’t know sweetheart, I just found you in the pool.” Horatio said softly. He heard her wheezing get a little louder and he started to slightly panic again.   
“Can you sit up for me?” Horatio asked as he gave her a comforting but worried look.   
“Yeah” she said quietly as she tried to pull herself up. Horatio gently helped her to sit up as she continued to quiver. Her lips were a slight tinge of blue; he wasn’t sure if that was because she was cold or because she wasn’t getting enough oxygen as her chest began to worsen.   
“I don’t think… I can walk.” She said as she slowly exhaled. “I feel really weak.” She said as she sat back, resting her head back on the sofa.   
“Okay sweetheart, we have two options, I can take you upstairs, or I can bring some dry clothes down for you?” Horatio said softly as he sat next to her.  
“Give me a minute; I’m sure I can walk if I tried.” She pulled the towel tighter around her, trying to get warm.   
“We need to get you in those clothes now.” Horatio said softly, seeing her shiver. She gave him a nod and began to shuffle forward onto the edge of the sofa. Horatio held out both of his hands to help her up and she took hold of them. Horatio pulled her up, and placed both of his hands on her elbows as she took a hold of his arms, feeling his strong biceps below her weak hands.   
“Okay?” Horatio asked softly. She nodded as she looked down, feeling the room spin slightly from the fast standing motion. She waited for it to pass and then looked up at him with tired eyes.  
“We’re going to go slowly, okay?” Horatio said softly as he felt goose bumps all up her cold and still slightly damp arms.  
Horatio placed her right arm around the back of his neck as he took hold of her waist with his left arm and her left hand with his right. He helped her slowly walk out of the living room as he felt her put more weight around his neck.   
“Horatio, my bag… my inhaler is in there.” She said as she looked over at her bag on the table. He helped her over to the table when she pulled her right arm from around his neck and leant on the table with both of her hands. She pulled her inhaler out and took a puff, leaning on the table still as Horatio stood very close behind and to the side.  
Her legs began to buckle and Horatio instantly caught her by wrapping one of his arms around her waist and stomach and the other by placing it on her shoulder and pulling her back against him.  
“I’m sorry, I don’t have any energy.” She said sounding completely exhausted.  
“Don’t be sorry, I’ve got you.” Horatio said as he held her close to him. She took another puff as Horatio held her while she continued to hold on to the table. She dropped the inhaler back into her bag as Zoë bowed her head and took a deep breath, trying to slow her breathing down.  
“Okay?” Horatio asked, wanting to get her upstairs.   
“Yeah” she said as she nodded and brought her head back up. She took her weight off the table and Horatio quickly put her left arm around his neck and his hand on her waist, taking a hold of her right hand.   
“We’re going to take it easy, okay?” Horatio said softly as he gently guided her over to the bottom of the stairs. She nodded as they took the first two steps, they took another and then another before Zoë stopped again.   
“Everything’s going black” she slurred slightly. Horatio didn’t even reply he just let go of her hand and swung it under her legs, sweeping her straight off her feet.   
“You’ll put your back out.” She slurred slowly as Horatio rushed her up the stairs and opened her bedroom door quickly. He felt her body relax as her consciousness decreased. As her legs were almost level with her heart, she didn’t lose all consciousness, and quickly regained it again.   
Horatio laid her on the bed. “I’m sorry” she slurred a little.   
“Don’t be sorry.” Horatio said as he turned around and pulled a towel out of a draw as she sat up.   
Horatio threw the towel over her and wrapped her in it as he then turned around again and pulled a pair of her joggers out from the draws and then rushed over to her closet and pulled a t-shirt out. He came back out and placed them on the bed by Zoë before turning around again and heading over to another set of draws to get her underwear and bra.   
“Horatio…” She said stopping him in his tracks, feeling slightly awkward that he was going for her underwear draw. Horatio turned around, realising that she wasn’t that comfortable with him going through her underwear.   
“Zoë, you need dry–”  
“I’ll get them.” She said as she slowly stood up and picked up the shirt and joggers, slowly walking over to him. Horatio quickly walked over to her, taking a hold of her elbow and back as she walked over to the draw.   
“I’m not looking.” Horatio said as he looked the other way as Zoë pulled out some underwear and a bra.   
She closed the draw and Horatio looked back around to her.   
“Can I get changed in the bathroom?” She asked, wanting some privacy.   
“If you’re sure you’re okay?” Horatio asked softly and she nodded at him, not really sure herself.  
“Don’t lock the door then.” Horatio said warmly as he let go of her as she walked over to the en-suite and closed the door. She began to feel a peculiar sensation in her head but ignored it. Horatio walked over and leant against the wall by the door.   
She pulled her shorts down and threw them in the washing basket and then the t-shirt off and into the washing basket. ‘That’s not mine… is it?’ She questioned as she looked down at the shirt, her violent shivering broke her from her thoughts. She pulled her underwear down and dried herself before pulling on the dry underwear. She then picked up her joggers and pulled them on as she stood up straight and leant back on the sink counter.   
“Zoë?” Horatio called, not hearing any more movement.   
“Zoë? Are you okay?” Horatio called louder and waited for a response.   
“I’m coming in.” Horatio said as he opened the door to see her leaning against the sink counter with her head drooped forwards.   
He quickly walked over to her and placed his hands on her head and lifted it to get a look at her face.   
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Horatio said seeing the vacant expression once again.   
About 10 seconds later she seemed to snap out of it, where she blinked a few times to focus her eyes and suddenly she felt completely disorientated and off balance, the sensation in her head multiplying by 10.  
“Sweetheart, are you with me?” Horatio asked, seeing her alert.   
“Yeah” she said as she began to slide to the left as she lost control of her balance.   
“Horatio” she said as he caught her and placed both hands on her waist as she grabbed for his arms.   
He felt her soft skin beneath his hands and it drove him insane.  
“I feel off balance.” She said as she looked at him, tilting her head to the left as Horatio stepped in closer to her, with their bodies almost touching.  
“Okay, we’re going to get you into your room; I can’t leave you to change in here on your own.” Horatio said softly. Zoë looked down and realised that she was still half naked.   
She opened her mouth to apologise for being partially naked but Horatio already told her not to worry about it.   
“What’s going on Horatio?” She asked, feeling the sensation in her head get worse and worse.  
“We’re going to get you out of here okay?” Horatio said looking at her, she gave him a nod.   
“I’m just going to tie your jogging bottoms up.” Horatio said softly as he looked down at them, as they sat very low on her hips, revealing some of her underwear. She gave him the permission and he dropped his hands from her waist and pulled the bottoms up and then began to tie them.  
Once he finished, he placed his arm around the bottom of her back, resting on her waist as he took a hold of her hand. He held her tightly.  
“I feel like I’m going to fall over.” She said as she gripped his hand tighter as he pulled her off the counter.   
“I’ve got you, don’t worry.” Horatio reassured her as he tightened his hand around her waist. They made it out of the bathroom when her head began to fall forward as she tried her best to stop it.   
“I can’t stop it.” She said as he let go of her hand and placed it on the side of her chest, on her ribs to pull her back up. She was still shivering from being so cold, she looked up at him and tried to focus on his face, but her eyes wouldn’t stop moving. He noticed that her eyes weren’t tracking properly; he knew that she was experiencing something like vertigo.  
“Okay sweetheart, we’re nearly there.” Horatio said as he pulled her into him in a last effort to get her to the bed. He quickly walked her backwards and sat her down on the bed, keeping hold of her.  
“Stay there.” Horatio said as he quickly turned and darted over to the draws and pulled a small top from the top of the draws and turned back around, darting over to Zoë who looked like she was going to fall to the side. Horatio caught her and took a hold of her as he crouched down and looked up at her.   
He felt the fabric on the side of her bra as he placed his hand on the side of her ribs to keep her from falling.  
“You’re bra is soaking, it needs to be changed sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, looking up at her as she tried to focus on him.  
She opened her mouth to speak but Horatio spoke before her again.   
“I won’t look, but you’re going to have to change here.” He said looking at her, warmly and sincerely. She took a deep breath and nodded at him.   
“I’ll get it from the bathroom.” Horatio said as he quickly rushed into the bathroom as Zoë leant on her hands to try and stay upright as her head compelled her to fall to the left.  
He came back in with the towel and bra.   
“I’m going to keep my hand on your shoulder, so you don’t fall okay. But I won’t look.” Horatio said softly as he handed her the bra. She gave him a quick and shy nod as he stood up and placed his hand on her left shoulder, noticing that it was the left that she seemed to slump towards.   
He looked up and to the side as she undone the clasp to the bra and pulled it off, quickly drying herself. Her head fell forwards as she blacked out and dropped the towel.  
“Zoë, are you with me?” Horatio questioned not feeling or hearing any movement. He quickly glanced back and saw her head slumped forwards slightly with the towel on her lap.  
“Zoë sweetheart?” Horatio questioned as he crouched down and lifted the towel and held it against her chest as he continued to have his hand on her shoulder.   
“Zoë, come on sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, looking into her glassy eyes. He swallowed, not knowing what else to do when she didn’t break from the blackout after 30 seconds. Another 50 seconds passed and it felt like an eternity to Horatio, he could feel her heart beat against his hand and it was the only thing he could concentrate on to keep himself from panicking. He didn’t know what to do, he thought about putting her bra on for her but knew that could present problems when she came around.   
He watched her blink and then exhaled as she closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. She opened them and looked up at Horatio, then down to her chest, then back up to Horatio again.   
“I’m sorry sweetheart, you blacked out.” Horatio said softly. She looked at him slightly dazed and tired.  
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio questioned, looking up at her, she looked like she hadn’t completely come out of the daze. She just slowly and weakly nodded at him.  
“Do you want a hand with the bra?” Horatio questioned, looking into both of her eyes. She gently shook her head. He felt her heartbeat lighten and it sent alarm bells off in his head, fearing that she was going to blackout again.  
She began to fall forwards again, feeling her surroundings distort as Horatio’s words became muffled and distant.  
“Zoë, sweetheart? Zoë, stay with me, stay with me beautiful.” Horatio said frantically as he let go of the towel and placed his hand on her face, lifting her head as he steadied her.   
“Zoë, stay with me.” Horatio said as he saw her slightly more distant. He let go of her shoulder and picked the towel back up and placed it against her chest. She brought her right hand up and held onto Horatio’s arm as she came round more, he saw her come back completely as she began to blink rapidly.   
“Are you with me?” He questioned, looking up at her.   
“Yeah” she said softly as she swallowed and looked into his eyes, she then looked down and he saw her breathing accelerate and deepen.   
“Don’t worry, I haven’t looked.” Horatio assured her and she took hold of the towel. She looked back up at him and looked into both of his eyes frantically.   
“I really didn’t look sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, reassuring her. She swallowed and nodded. She looked around and picked up her bra again and looked at it, drawing a blank. He saw her confused and unsure.  
“Do you want a hand sweetheart?” He questioned, knowing that she liked to wear a bra when she slept. She looked at him, she wanted to put it on but didn’t want to admit that she needed help. He knew she was embarrassed. ‘I can’t not wear a bra at the moment, I’m freezing… how embarrassing… wearing a top whilst freezing without a bra.’ She thought to herself.   
“Sweetheart, there’s no need to worry about it, there’s no shame in it okay. It’s normal, okay? I can help you, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Horatio assured her. She looked up at him and hesitantly nodded. Horatio gave her a reassuring expression and dropped his hand from her face and took a hold of the bra.   
“Can you take a hold of me please to try and keep yourself steady?” Horatio questioned and she placed her right hand on his shoulder, refusing to move her left from the towel.   
“I’m not going to look sweetheart; I only want to help you.” Horatio said softly. She took a deep breath and let go of the towel and looked away.   
“Hold on to me tightly.” He said as she quickly placed her left hand through the bra strap. She held onto his shoulder with her left arm and Horatio took hold of her right hand.   
“Well done sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as he pushed the bra up and placed the straps over her shoulders as he rose a little and pulled the bra clasps together around the back and moved in closer to her, he felt her head fall forward against his chest as her hands loosened on him. He managed to get them together behind her back and then pulled the sides down to make it more comfortable for her.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio questioned, seeing her blackout again, he then reached over for her top and put it on for her. He knelt back on the floor looking up at her. He saw her come round and she looked down, seeing her top on. She look back up at him.   
“Okay?” He questioned softly, looking into her eyes and he saw her on the verge of crying.   
“It’s okay sweetheart, you don’t need to worry about it.” Horatio said softly as he placed a hand on her face. She looked down and away as the tears began to fall and she lost it.   
“I’m a moron.” She mumbled as she went to wipe the tears away.   
“You’re not a moron Zoë, don’t say that. This is perfectly normal okay? Nathan said that there were going to be difficulties.” Horatio said softly as he rose higher and pulled her in closer to give her a comforting hug.   
“No, I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have difficulties with things like that.” She murmured into his shoulder.   
“You’re not an idiot, don’t tell yourself that. You’re going to have difficulties, Zoë, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about, I’m here to help you out. I don’t mind helping you with things like this, it’s nothing to get worked up about sweetheart.” Horatio said softly  
“Thank you Horatio.” She said softly as he crouched down to look up at her again, Horatio dried her tears from her cheeks while she went to wipe her eyes but began to fall again. Horatio immediately grabbed her. She began to feel a headache coming on.   
“Okay, we need to get you warm.” Horatio said softly looking up at her, seeing her skin still very pale as he placed his hand on her arm.   
“I need to go and get the thermometer, okay? But before I do that, I want you to lie down for me?” Horatio asked and she nodded at him.  
She began to stand with Horatio’s help as he kept her up right; he flicked the duvet cover over and then helped her to sit back down. He placed his hand on the side of her head as he helped lower her down and rested her head on the pillow. He lifted her legs and placed them on the bed as he pulled the duvet over her.   
“I’ll be right back.” Horatio said as he quickly disappeared. He rushed downstairs and grabbed the thermometer which lay on the sofa and went straight back upstairs. He sat down by Zoë and placed it in her ear as she looked up at him tiredly.   
“Well, I can’t say I’ve not been put to bed by my boss before anymore…” She said with a small cheeky smile. Horatio chuckled a little, slightly nervously. Thinking about the time he carried her up the stairs and into bed. The thermometer beeped – 35.1degrees. He pulled his phone back out and dialled for Nathan.   
“Nathan, it’s Horatio.”  
“Horatio, is Zoë any better?” He asked as Horatio heard him walking down a corridor.   
“No, her temperature has dropped to 35.1degrees, she’s in dry clothes and in bed, I don’t know what else to do.” Horatio said as he looked away from her, as his heart ached for her to be well again.   
“Okay, keep a very close eye on her, if her temperature drops anymore, bring her straight in. Try and apply a warm, not hot, warm cloth to her chest, neck, armpits and groin. Do not put them on her arms or legs. If there is no improvement in 20 minutes, bring her in. If there is an improvement, keep her warm. Try and get her to drink something warm, but nothing with caffeine in and keep her calm. Okay?” Nathan said as he stopped walking.   
“Yes, I’ve got it. Erm… she also seems to be very unbalanced, like she’s suffering from vertigo.” Horatio said looking back over at her as he placed his hand on her stomach subconsciously, without realising it.   
“Okay… that doesn’t really fit in with lowered body temperature… does she have any other symptoms?” Nathan asked.   
“Sweetheart, can you tell me how you’re feeling? Are you feeling sick or anything?” Horatio asked softly. She just shook her head.   
“She says no.” Horatio said as he warmly looked down at her.   
“Okay, give me a ring if anything changes or if you’re bringing her in.” Nathan said softly as he began walking again.   
“Thank you.” Horatio said before hanging up.   
“Okay sweetheart, what Nathan has said to do is to put warm cloths on your neck, chest, under your arms and groin.” Horatio said the last bit a little hesitantly. She lifted her head when he said groin and shook her head.   
“Okay, we’ll put them everywhere else but the groin. If you don’t improve though, I have to, okay?” Horatio said softly. She exhaled and said “okay” as she dropped her head back to the pillow, still shivering. Horatio got up and walked into her bathroom to look for some wash cloths.   
“Do you have any more wash cloths?”  
“In one of the draws.” She called weakly.   
Horatio turned around and opened a draw to find two packs of new wash cloths.   
“How many do you have?” Horatio called sarcastically.   
“I like to have lots of the same thing.” She called back with a slight chuckle. Laughing only made her headache intensify.  
He ran the basin half full with warm water and soaked 4 wash cloths.   
He wringed them and brought them through and she pushed the duvet halfway down.   
“Nathan does have some stupid ideas.” She said as he sat on the side of the bed.   
“Yes, but it will help.” Horatio replied with a small smile. She then coughed a little, feeling her chest tighten again. She reached over to the bedside table and picked up her blue inhaler.   
“One minute.” She said as she pushed herself up and he gave her an understanding nod. She took the inhaler twice.   
“Have I taken my other this morning?” She asked once she felt better. Horatio placed his hand on her shoulder, stopping her from falling.  
“I don’t know sweetheart.” Horatio said softly as she accidently dropped her blue one between the bed and bedside table, then exhaled in frustration.   
“I’ve got it.” Horatio said as he leant down to pick it up and placed it on the side. She picked up her purple one and looked at the back, looking at the amount of puffs left.   
“No I haven’t, neither did I last night.” She said raising her eyebrows. She took another two puffs of it and placed it back down as she slumped back down exhausted and head pulsating.  
She looked over to Horatio who still had a hold of the wash cloths.   
“Okay.” She said as she looked at him, tired.   
“Where?” She asked again, beginning to squint and lowering her eyebrows.   
“Under your arms, chest and neck.” He said softly as he lifted one of her arms and put the cloth in place, doing the same with the other arm.   
“Just placing this on your chest, okay?” Horatio said softly, warning her. She gave him a nod as permission and he delicately placed it on her chest.   
“And on your neck” Horatio said warmly as he folded the wash cloth and she gave him another nod.   
He gently placed it on her neck and she instantly took a deep breath and clenched her jaw as she brought up her right hand and pulled the cloth away.   
“Zoë?” Horatio said quickly, worried. She almost gasped for air, and began to breathe rapidly. She calmed herself down quite quickly once she looked over at Horatio.   
“I’m… I’m sorry. I don’t like it.” She said looking up at him, slightly startled.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”  
“It wasn’t you, don’t worry.” She said as she squinted more.   
“Are you okay?” Horatio asked as he moved his hand slowly up to her chest, letting her know what he was doing and gently pressed the cloth down, feeling the warmth from it.   
“Yeah, could you please turn the lights off?” She asked, squinting at him.   
“Certainly” Horatio said softly as he got up and turned them off as the sun shone through the light curtains.   
Horatio came back over and sat by Zoë again as she tried to focus on him.   
“I think I’m getting a migraine.” She said sleepily.  
“Okay sweetheart, do you want any painkillers?” Horatio asked softly and quietly, knowing that noise can aggravate a migraine.  
“I think there’s some Nurofen in one of the cupboards downstairs.” She said softly.   
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Horatio said as he got up and rushed down stairs and picked up the packet with a glass of water. He headed back upstairs and closed the door after him so the light from the hall didn’t hurt her head more so.  
“Thank you.” She said as she sat up slightly, taking two painkillers.  
She laid back down quickly and raised her hand to her throbbing head.  
“Just going to put the cloth back on your chest, okay?” Horatio said softly and she nodded her head, wanting to sleep but the headache already preventing her.   
He placed his hand back on her chest and flattened the cloth out; he held his hand there for a little while. He could feel her heartbeat, it was still quite fast.   
He dropped his hand from her chest and took a hold of her wrist, feeling her pulse.   
“What now?” She said with a very small smile.   
“Nothing, your pulse is just a little fast still.” Horatio said softly.   
“Yeah, I’m cold that’s why.” She said tiredly. Horatio gave her a nod.   
“Feeling warmer yet?” He asked softly and she quietly said “no”.   
“Do you think you could drink something warm for me?” Horatio asked quietly.   
“I don’t… I don’t know. There’s some herbal tea in the cupboard. You’re welcome to one too.” She said quietly.   
“Okay, I’ll be right back up.” Horatio said as he got up and closed the door after him, he made her a mug of herbal tea and brought it back up to her 3 minutes later as she covered her eyes from the remaining light in the room.   
She heard him come in and removed her hand from her eyes as she looked over at him.   
“Thank you.” She said as she continued to quiver.   
“No problem, it’s just warm – I didn’t boil the kettle fully.” he said as he placed it on the side by her as she sat up. The wash cloths fell off her as Horatio quickly picked them up, feeling that they needed to be re-warmed. She was definitely feeling more balanced now as the pain stage of the migraine set in.  
“I need bigger boobs for that to stay there.” She said quietly and then her eyes widened and her hand rose to her mouth in utter shock, she couldn’t believe she just said that to Horatio.  
“Horatio, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, I just… for some reason I thought I was back in New York, with close friends, who are female… it was a joke we had.” She said looking up at him shocked.  
“Don’t worry about it.” Horatio said whilst thinking ‘they are just the perfect size, beautiful’. He turned around smiling to himself as he quickly warmed them up again as she picked the tea up, and sipped it. She felt it warm her throat as it trickled down slowly, still feeling embarrassed.  
He came back with the wash cloths.   
“One minute, please.” She said with a small shy smile.   
“Not a problem.” He said as he sat on the edge of the bed, pushing the duvet back so she didn’t feel restricted. She managed to finish half of the cup before putting it down as her head began to pulsate and pound more so. She began to feel nauseous and Horatio noticed a change in her facial expression.   
“I’m… I’m going to be sick.” She said as she almost jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom, falling to her knees before the loo and sliding across the smooth floor on her knees, stopping short of the loo. She held her hair back as she pulled a hair band from the side and tied it up as she began to retch. Horatio quickly rushed in after her.   
“Sorry, you don’t need to see this Hora–” She began to say but was stopped short as she began to vomit. Horatio crouched down behind her and rubbed her back slightly as he pulled her fringe back.  
“It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.” Horatio said softly, comforting her.   
She stopped throwing up and reached for the loo roll as she breathed deeply, still shivering. Horatio continued to rub her back.   
“Sorry Horatio.” She said as she flushed the loo and stood up with Horatio who helped her up.   
“It’s okay” Horatio softly said, assuring her.   
She leaned over the sink and picked up her tooth brush and brushed her teeth as Horatio stood behind her.   
She rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash and leaned on the basin.   
“Sweetheart, I need you to get back into bed.” Horatio said softly and quietly. She looked up at him in the mirror and nodded slightly, squinting. She felt a lot more balanced now and walked back to bed as Horatio placed a hand on her lower back. He helped her to lay down and pulled the duvet up over her legs, stopped just below her ribs as he picked the wash cloths back up and warmed them up again. He came back in and placed them on her chest and under her arms. He picked up the thermometer again and placed it in her ear after she gave him permission to – 35.4degrees.   
“It’s better.” Horatio said softly as he placed it on the side. She gave him a slow nod and closed her eyes slowly.   
“I’m not going to leave you alone right now, but get some rest and I’ll be right downstairs if you need me. Okay?” Horatio said softly and quietly.  
“Make yourself at home.” She said as she half opened her eyes to look at him. He gave her a small nod and then got up and walked out, quietly closing the door behind him. She pulled the duvet up and snuggled.   
The wash cloths began to annoy her so she threw them onto the side and curled up. The light coming through the curtains continued to hurt her head so she got up and picked up a pair of sunglasses from the side and then got back into bed as she curled up again and closed her eyes.   
Her head was pounding, but she was so tired that not even the intense pain stopped her from falling asleep. Horatio came back upstairs about 20 minutes later and saw the wash cloths on the side. ‘Why did I even expect her to keep them there?’ He thought to himself. He walked over to her and saw her sunglasses and noticed that she had more colour in her face now. He very lightly placed the back of his hand against her cheek, he felt her slightly warmer now. But picked up the thermometer and placed it in her ear, trying not to wake her but she woke and looked over to him, squinting and exhaling. She saw the thermometer in his hand and gave him a nod. He then placed it back in her ear as he quietly apologised. Her temperature was now 36.4 degrees.   
“That’s a lot better.” Horatio said softly.  
“Mmm” she quietly moaned as her head began to throb more.   
“I’ll be back up to check on you a little later.” Horatio said softly then Zoe’s phone began to ring very loudly, causing the pain to intensify. Horatio checked it to see who was calling.   
“It’s Mr Wolfe.” He said softly as he looked over at her as she just moaned a little more and turned over in an attempt to get away from the noise.  
“Do you want me to answer?” Horatio asked very quietly and she nodded at him as he picked her phone up and answered it as he walked out, closing the door behind him. Zoe laid there in bed, as her head pounded, not managing to get to sleep.   
“Mr Wolfe?” Horatio said softly as he walked downstairs.  
“H?” Ryan asked confused “is Zoe okay?” Ryan asked softly.   
“She’s got a migraine and is in bed right now.” Horatio said as he got to the bottom of the stairs.  
“Ah, it’s just that she didn’t reply to a text I sent last night and it started to worry me.” Ryan said as he exhaled, feeling happier that Horatio was keeping an eye on her.   
“I see, she’s okay; just resting at the moment.” Horatio said softly as he leant against the kitchen side.   
“Okay, let me know if there’s anything I can do.”   
“Thank you Mr Wolfe.” Horatio said softly as they both hung up. Horatio walked back upstairs and into Zoe’s room quietly and placed the phone on vibrate and placed it on the side.   
Zoe had pushed the duvet off and kicked it over to the side and she looked up at him through the dark sunglasses and gave him a quick small smile, hoping he wouldn’t lecture her about the duvet. He looked down at her and gave her a warm smile back. He wanted to climb into the bed with her and comfort her.   
“Sweetheart, you need to keep the duvet on.” He said softly as he gave her a warm look.   
“It’s too hot.” She said quietly as she rubbed her head. Horatio placed his hand on her arm.  
“Zoe, you’re cold.” Horatio said as he stood back up straight.   
“I feel hot though.” She said very quietly as she took a deep breath. He picked the thermometer back up and placed it in her ear – 36.3degrees.  
“Your temperature has dropped slightly; I need you to put it back on please.” Horatio said softly, giving her a caring look. She nodded at him and then pulled the duvet back over her.   
“Thank you.” He said as he looked at her, she gave him an acknowledging nod and then leaned over to the side and opened a draw and pulled out a packet of tablets.   
“What are you taking?” Horatio asked softly, she showed him the packet.  
“Dilaudid, that’s strong Zoe.” He said softly.   
“Horatio, this headache is only getting worse and it’s killing me.” She said softly as she sat up and picked up a bottle of water.   
“Okay.” He said softly, knowing the pain of migraines.   
He took the bottled water from her and the tablets once she had taken them and she then slipped back down into the bed. Horatio placed the water and tablets on the side and left her to it as she snuggled back up with the duvet. She laid there for about half an hour, not sleeping until the painkillers took effect and she was straight off to sleep. Horatio checked on her every 30 minutes, he was able to get a temperature without waking her up, it slowly improved and was back up to normal temperature within an hour. 4 hours passed and she woke up again, she got out of bed and walked downstairs, with the sunglasses still on. Horatio heard her come down and quickly got up from the sofa and walked out to meet her in the hall.   
“How are you feeling?” Horatio asked quietly.   
“Absolutely marvellous, I just need some toast or something.” She said groggy as she leant against the wall.  
“Go back upstairs; I’ll make you the toast.” Horatio said softly.   
“Horatio–”  
“Zoe, back to bed please.” He said with a small smile.   
“Okay.” She said as she gave him a nod, the nodding put her head in a frenzy as all of a sudden out of nowhere her head began to spin. She looked down and blinked a few times, trying to make it stop. She began to fall backwards as her legs went from under her. She grabbed out for Horatio who instantly stopped her from falling. He wrapped his left around her lower back while his right came around her shoulders, he pulled her into him and they felt their bodies connect. Her head fell back as every muscle completely relaxed, she felt drained.   
Horatio moved his right hand and supported her head, once he’d pulled her head up, she had just enough strength to support her head.  
“My head” she said as she placed her forehead against his, unable to support it any longer. Her head felt like it was going to explode and movement only made it feel worse. She almost whimpered in pain, as she closed her eyes and just let Horatio take her weight as she had absolutely no energy at all. He felt her breath against his lips and wanted to kiss her so much, it was all he could think about until her slight whimpering brought him back to reality.   
“Okay sweetheart, you’re going back to bed.” Horatio said quietly, whilst silently getting himself under control in his trousers. She felt her head spin rapidly as she suddenly got the sensation that she was floating. Horatio felt her breathing deepen and knew something was wrong.  
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked.  
“Nothing” she almost whispered before her head fell to the side and to his shoulder. Before he knew it he felt her lift her head slightly and let out a small moan.  
“Sweetheart, I need you to help me.” Horatio said quietly. “Can you put your arm around my neck?” Horatio asked as she slowly nodded. She lifted her right arm and held onto his shoulder and then put it around the back of his neck as she lifted her head, squinting still. As their chests touched and moved together, Horatio found himself thinking about the night before they were taken when their chests where touching naked. His grip loosened on her as he fell into the daydream, whilst Zoe began to slip through his grip. The feeling of her falling snapped Horatio right out of it again.   
“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” He said as he pulled her into him again.   
Her whole body felt depleted of all energy. Horatio’s grip around her shoulders tightened as he loosened his grip around her lower back. He then moved and swept her off her feet again.  
“You’ve got to stop carrying me. It’s no good for your back.” She said quietly as she just let him do it, knowing that she couldn’t walk, let alone stop him.  
“You don’t need to worry about that.” Horatio said as he climbed the stairs. He quickly walked into her room and placed her weak body on the bed, pulling the duvet back over her.   
“Do you still want that toast?” Horatio asked as he studied her weak face. She gave him a nod, “please” she said with a very small smile. Horatio gave her a nod and walked out again. He quickly made her some toast and came back up.  
“Thank you” she said as she sat up, and gave him a smile.   
“Not a problem, anything else?” Horatio asked as he sat on the edge of the bed while he handed her the plate with the slice of toast.   
“No thank you, this is brilliant” she said softly with a smile. He gave her a nod and then got up.   
“Give me a shout if you need anything.”   
“Can you stay here please?” She asked as she looked up at him.  
“Of course” Horatio said giving her a warm smile as he sat back down on the edge of her bed and placed his left hand on her leg.  
“Thank you.” She said with a smile and then took a bite out of the toast.   
“Do you not want any?” She asked quietly.  
“No, I’m fine.” Horatio said with a smile.  
“You need to eat.” She said looking at him.  
“I’ve eaten” Horatio replied, lying through his teeth.   
“Horatio, I know you’re lying to me.” She said raising an eyebrow at him. “You need to eat, or you’re going to end up needing to be looked after too.” She said looking at him.   
“I’ll get something a little later” he said with a smile.  
“You better or I’m going to have to make you something.” She said with a small smile. He chuckled a little as she had a few more bites of the toast. She ate most of the toast but left a small amount as she placed it on the side.  
“Thank you Horatio, I’m really sorry about ruining your Saturday.” She said as she placed the plate on the side.  
“You’ve not ruined it, I’m doing what I’d be doing back home.” He said with a smile.  
“What? Looking after me?” She said with a small smile.  
“You know what I mean.” He said with a smile as he gestured for her to lay down.  
“One moment” She said as she leant over and picked up the water and painkillers, he gave her a nod and she took the tablets.   
“Horatio, what’s going on with me?” She asked him bluntly, knowing that he’s in contact with Nathan.  
“I don’t really know sweetheart, Nathan seems to think it’s stress related.” Horatio said softly.   
She exhaled and gave him a nod.  
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Horatio asked softly.  
“I… I don’t feel stressed.” She said looking at him a little confused.   
“Are you sure? Yesterday you seemed quite stressed.” Horatio said honestly.  
“I don’t even remember being stressed. Horatio, I don’t even remember what happened yesterday.” She said realising that she was missing the whole day from memory. ‘What, where the hell has yesterday gone?’ She questioned herself, trying her hardest to recall any detail about it.  
“You don’t remember?” Horatio asked confused himself.  
“No, what happened?” She asked innocently.  
“Perhaps it’s best if we talk about it when you’ve got less of a headache?” He asked, not wanting to get into it.  
“You might be right. But I don’t understand.” She said looking at him very confused.  
“Neither do I, perhaps you’re subconsciously blocking it from your memory?” Horatio asked softly, treading carefully.  
“You could be right, but was it really that bad?” She asked.   
“It… it’s… I can see why you’d want to forget it.” Horatio said as he exhaled, looking over at her. She gave him an understanding nod; she could feel the effects of the painkillers again. She relaxed back as the pain eased, Horatio could see the painkillers working on her.  
“I’m going to leave you to get some rest, okay?”   
“Okay.” She said with a small smile.  
Horatio got up and left, shutting the door behind him. Zoe slid down and curled up in the duvet. Another 20 minutes later and Zoe felt quite euphoric and like she was in a dream. She got up and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door a little too forcefully. Horatio heard it slam and rushed upstairs, knocking on the door, when she didn’t reply Horatio quickly walked in and looked around, seeing the bathroom door closed.   
“Zoe? Sweetheart, are you okay?” Horatio called through the door.   
“Yeah” she called through the door, sounding almost drunk. She then walked straight into her shower door, making a loud bang.   
“Zoe?! I’m coming in!” Horatio said as he opened the door. She turned around and looked over at him.   
“If you wanted to join, you should have said.” She said as she laughed, leaning against the shower door, still clothed. “I just want a shower.” She said as she grinned at him.   
“Zoe sweetheart, that’s not a good idea at this point in time.” Horatio said taking a step closer towards her.   
“It is.” She said as she untied her hair and threw the hair band over at the counter.  
“Sweetheart, listen to me. It’s not.” Horatio said, stepping closer to her again.   
“Okay, at least let me change from these joggers into some shorts?” She asked with a grin.  
“Of course” Horatio said as they both walked out, Zoe pulled some shorts out of the draw.   
She turned back around and walked straight into the bathroom, closing the door again. She pulled her joggers off and pulled the shorts on, feeling cooler now. She went to walk out but slipped on the joggers which lay on the floor and began to laugh hysterically.   
Horatio heard this and quickly came back to the door.   
“Zoe, I’m coming in.” Horatio said as he came in seeing her sat on the floor, crossed legged and laughing.   
“Zoe, are you okay?” Horatio asked.  
“Yeah, I’m fine honey” she said whilst laughing still.  
“Come on, into bed.” Horatio said as he approached her and held his hands out.   
“Into bed? I always had you down as someone to take that slow.” She laughed as she took hold of his hands and he helped her up.   
“That’s not what I–”  
“Oh God, I’m sorry Horatio, it just came out.” She slurred slightly looking at him, horrified by what she had just said to Horatio, but still smiling.  
“Don’t worry–”  
“Horatio, it was inappropriate, I’m sorry.” She slurred as she giggled slightly. They both heard a knock at the door.  
“Oh who’s that?” Zoe said happily as she walked around Horatio and walked out of her room, with Horatio following closely. Zoe had completely forgotten what they were talking about.  
She missed the top step and began to fall when Horatio’s instant reaction was to reach out and stop her. His left went around her waist and stomach while his right went around her chest. He pulled her back into him.  
“Woah, thank you Horatio.” She said as she began to laugh again.   
“Okay?” He asked.   
“Yeah, thanks.” She said with a smile. She then looked down to see his hand placed over her left breast.  
“Err… Horatio?” She said as she began to laugh a little again.   
“I’m really very sorry Zoe… I didn’t mean–” Horatio began to say as he let go of her.  
“Don’t worry honey.” She said happily as she began to walk back down the stairs with Horatio following behind, feeling slightly awkward. But she really didn’t care. She walked over to the front door and just opened it without checking who it was.   
“Ryan!!” She said with a wide grin as she threw her arms around him.   
“Erm, hello?” Ryan said slightly confused, not sure why Zoe was in such a good mood when Horatio said she had a migraine.   
“Why are you here?” Zoe asked as she let him go and pulled him in.  
“I texted and rang the both of you to see if you were okay, I didn’t get a response from either of you, so I wanted to check.” Ryan said looking at Horatio, completely confused as Zoe turned around and strutted through to the kitchen.   
“Painkillers…” Horatio whispered to him and Ryan gave him an understanding nod before the both of them quickly followed her.  
“You know what. I want to go for a walk on the beach.” Zoe said as she turned back around out of the kitchen and was then stopped by Horatio.  
“Zoe, you were going back to bed.” Horatio said softly.  
“But it’s boring” she said with a smile.   
“and you need to rest” Horatio said placing his hand on her shoulder. She began to take the air cast off.  
“Zoe, leave that alone for me please.” Horatio said sternly. She just carried on taking it off and threw it over to the sofa.   
“It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s obviously healed.” She said with a grin as she walked around Horatio and went towards the back door.  
“That’s because you’ve had strong painkillers, Zoe.” Horatio said softly, stopping her, looking at her concerned and softly. He looked into both of her eyes.  
She looked back into his and saw the concern.   
“I’m sorry Horatio.” She said, realising that her thinking was impaired.  
Suddenly tiredness hit her she turned around and went to her fridge and pulled out a can of RedBull.  
“Zoe, don’t drink that, you need sleep.” Ryan said taking the can out of her hand.  
“But I’m tired.” She said looking at him.  
“Exactly” Ryan said placing the can on the side. Horatio walked up behind her and placed his hand on her lower back, getting her attention.  
“Bed?” Horatio asked.   
“With you?” She asked confused and innocently whilst she lowered her eyebrows.  
“No, just you.” Horatio said with a small chuckle, finding her comment amusing.  
“Ohh, sorry Horatio. I think I’m having a mad one.” She said as she began to chuckle and then looked back round to Ryan. She looked back round to Horatio.   
“Where’s your jacket?” She asked.  
“It’s drying out.” Horatio said softly as he tried to get her to go upstairs.  
“Why?” She asked.   
“Because I put it over you this morning” Horatio said quietly.  
“Ohhh okay, you can put it in the dryer if you want.” She said happily.  
“I think it’s doing fine hanging up.” Horatio said with a smile.   
Zoe looked back round to Ryan, who looked really confused.  
“I went for a swim this morning apparently.” She said as she began to laugh again as she leant on the counter.   
“Ouch!” She said as she quickly recoiled and backed off from the counter, holding her wrist.  
“I told you that you need the cast on.” Horatio said raising his eyebrows.  
“Stay here.” Horatio said as he turned around and walked into the living room picking up her cast, he walked back into the kitchen.  
“If you take it off one more time, I’m going to have Nathan put a plaster cast on.” Horatio said sarcastically. He handed it to her and she tried to put it on.   
“Good luck trying.” She said with a cheeky grin, Zoe was getting more tired and they could see this.  
She was struggling to get the cast on. “It’s not working.” She said as she dropped the cast onto the counter.  
“Look, come here sweetheart.” Horatio said as he picked it up and then very gently took her left hand and placed it in the cast then fastened it.   
“There.” Horatio said as she gave him a nod.   
“Come on into bed” Ryan said reminding her after Zoe stifled a yawn and was obviously getting more tired.  
“What? I don’t want to go to bed with anyone.” Zoe slurred confused with a laugh as she opened the fridge and pulled out another can of RedBull.   
“Not with me and no caffeine.” Ryan said as he took another can from her hand.   
“I’m tired though.” She said as she looked at him.  
“Yes, now to bed.” Horatio said as he placed his hand around her waist and lower back and turned her physically.  
“Woah, okay.” She said with a smile and a small laugh as she began to walk over to the stairs.  
“I can’t go to bed, I have guests.” She said as she turned back around and back into the kitchen.  
“Do you want a drink?” She asked Ryan.  
“No thank you, go to bed, please. Or we’re going to have to carry you.” Ryan said with a smile.   
“Is that an offer?” She said giving him a cheeky smile, slowly approaching him.  
“Zoe…” Ryan said lowly, raising an eyebrow at her, trying to hide a smile, she was seducing him without even realising it. She tilted her head at him.   
“What did I say?” She asked turning to Horatio, looking more and more tired.  
“Nothing sweetheart, just come on.” He said softly, giving her a warm look, then looked over to Ryan for some sort of help and telling him not to egg her on.   
“Right, you’re going to bed now.” Ryan said as he placed his hand on her lower back and gently guided her out of the kitchen. Ryan let go of her back as she willingly walked along.  
She gave Horatio a tired smile as they got to the bottom of the stairs. She began to climb them and Ryan let Horatio follow her before following Horatio. She walked into her bedroom followed by Horatio and Ryan. She walked into her en-suite and threw the joggers which were still on the floor in the washing bin. She walked back out of the bathroom as Horatio pulled her duvet back.   
“I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you soon, get some rest.” Ryan said softly with a smile.  
“Okay pretty boy, I’ll see you soon.” She said with a smile. He gave her a nod and exchanged a look with Horatio. Horatio gave him a nod.  
“Come on sweetheart.” He said as he stood by the bedside table.  
“Horatio my head still hurts.” She said looking at him.  
“You need to sleep.” Horatio said, seeing how tired she looked.  
“Where’s Ryan gone?” She asked as she walked over to him.  
“He didn’t say, he just had to go somewhere.” Horatio said softly.  
“This is why I don’t like painkillers” she said as she walked up to him and looked at him with a tired expression and looking slightly confused. “It feels like I’m on an aeroplane and we’re just taking off and turning.” She said as she looked at him, slightly dazed. She stumbled forward and Horatio caught her quickly, holding her steady and against his chest.   
“That’s the painkillers sweetheart, now please can you sit down for me?” Horatio asked, placing his hand on the side of her face. She delicately pulled back from him as she placed both of her hands on his chest to push off him.   
“Sorry Horatio.” She mumbled as she looked down, trying to make sense of the situation.   
He delicately gripped her chin and pulled her head up, seeing her confusion and looked into her eyes.  
“In to bed, please, Zoë.” Horatio asked smoothly, holding her gaze. She looked at him slightly confused as she seemed to become a little distant.   
“Sweetheart?” Horatio questioned as he rubbed her back, wanting a response from her.   
“Zoë, are you with me?” He asked, seeing her eyes glaze over. He exhaled and took a step closer and tightly held his arm around her waist, their hips touching as he felt her body relax. ‘Is she going to fall? Is this a blackout or is she going to pass out?’ Horatio questioned and held her tighter, just in case she did fall. She blinked and came back to reality and looked into both of Horatio’s eyes.   
“You just had another blackout sweetheart.” Horatio said very softly. He felt her breath roll over his lips and he had to quickly get his stirring loins under control.   
“Are you okay sweetheart?” Horatio questioned softly.   
“Yeah” she said looking into both of his eyes. He slowly let go of her and helped her to sit on the bed.  
“Horatio, you’re so lovely. You don’t have to do all of this for me you know. ” She said looking up at him tenderly.  
“You’re always so lovely, I’m so lucky to have you. Why are you so lovely?” She said sounding dazed and spaced out. He gave her a smile, slightly shy but really liking what she was saying to him.  
He gestured for her to turn and lay down.  
“You know what, since coming home from the hospital; my bed doesn’t feel the same.” She said looking up at him, admiring the way the light bounced off his light blue eyes. She pulled the duvet up.  
Horatio didn’t really know what to say.  
“I don’t seem to be able to find one of my duvet covers either, it’s my favourite – it’s cream, Egyptian cotton with a pattern on the bottom of the duvet in a slightly darker cream. You haven’t seen it around anywhere, have you?” She asked recalling the duvet set as she looked around at her duvet cover.  
‘That’s because that’s my bed and duvet cover, beautiful’ Horatio thought to himself, realising what she was talking about, she managed to put a lump in his throat and almost choke him up with one sentence.   
“I’m… I’m sure it’s around here somewhere sweetheart.” Horatio said softly, his heart ached for her and it pained him to be in the same room as her and for her not to remember them together. He placed his hand behind her head and helped her to lay down. She picked her legs up and placed them under the duvet as he pulled it up over her.  
“Thank you handsome” she said as her eyes closed involuntarily. She didn’t see it, but a massive grin appeared across Horatio’s face.  
“Sleep tight, angel” Horatio said softly as he tenderly looked down at Zoe, who was half asleep already.  
He exited with a smile on his face, very touched by her words about the duvet and that she thought he was lovely, he quietly closed the door after him and went back downstairs.   
He checked up on her every half an hour for the next 3 and a half hours, he went up one last time to check up on her, knowing that she will probably be waking again soon. He found her sleeping diagonally across the large bed with the duvet kicked onto the floor. She’d obviously been moving a lot as her top had ridden up slightly.   
He walked around to the other side of the bed and picked up the duvet, taking in the scent it gave off, it was her specific scent and it drove him crazy every time he smelt it. He craved to have her scent back in his house all the time. She moved and covered her eyes with her right arm as she twisted into and awkward position. He very gently pulled the duvet over her as she moved again. He froze in position, afraid that she was waking up. She turned and kicked the duvet half off. She was dreaming, and he knew it. All he wanted was for it to be a pleasant dream, not one of her bad ones. But he knew almost straight away when her face contorted from quite placid to a fearful expression. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, usually when she had a bad dream, she’d snuggle up to him and into his protective arms.   
Since everything had happened Horatio hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep, due to dreams, partially of the situation they were put through, but also of his childhood. He always felt a lot more comforted when he woke up next to her after a bad dream. He also found that his bad dreams would disappear when she was in the bed with him. Just the smell of her hair would instantly calm his fears. Her touch would relieve every little bit of stress he felt and when he ran his hands through her hair every stress in the world just died.   
He hated that he couldn’t comfort her, or for her to comfort him and he certainly could do with that comfort. Horatio felt like he needed to be near her and couldn’t even make himself leave her room. He sat down on the floor with his back against her bed. He relaxed his head back and rested it on her mattress.   
A cloud of exhaustion shrouded Horatio’s head as he closed his eyes and rested his arms on his knees as he pulled his knees up. His eyes soon opened again as he heard Zoe shift in the bed again, she completely kicked the duvet off and down to the bottom of the bed and turned around onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillow.  
Once she settled again, Horatio’s eyes closed and he relaxed again. He fell asleep quite quickly.  
An hour and a half later Zoe woke up and turned around onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, not having noticed Horatio yet.  
She took a deep breath and blinked a few times, as the light still aggravated the headache, but the headache was definitely subsiding.   
She looked over to the side when she heard Horatio take a deep breath. She saw his red hair rustled as he moved his head slightly.   
“You… you’re going to run yourself into the ground sweetie.” She said quietly, feeling incredibly guilty that he’d just slept on her floor. He continued to sleep peacefully until she shuffled and quietly hopped off the other side of the bed. He lifted his head as she walked around the bed and looked round and up at her as she approached him.  
“You need a coffee, some food and a decent night’s sleep honey.” She said as she looked down at him softly.   
“If you were tired there’s always a spare bed down the hall, you’re welcome to it anytime.” She said softly, ‘I know he’s still hurting from what we went through, I just wish I could make it all better for him, I just don’t know what to do about it though.’ She thought to herself.  
“Come on honey, let’s get a coffee.” She said with a small smile as she helped him up as he gave her a tired smile.  
“You should be resting still, I’ll make the coffee.” Horatio said softly as he ran a hand through his hair.  
“No, I’m making the coffee because you’re shattered.” She said as she brushed his arm with her hand.   
“How are you feeling?” Horatio asked softly.  
“Better, the headache is definitely improving.” She said with a smile as she began to walk out with him in tow.   
“Ryan was round earlier, wasn’t he? I didn’t imagine that, did I?” She said turning to him, as she stopped half-way down the stairs just to make sure that she wasn’t going crazy.  
“He did come round, but you were in your own little world.” Horatio said softly with a smile as they carried on down.  
“What do you want to eat?” She asked softly.  
“I’m fine thanks Zoe.” Horatio replied as they walked through to the kitchen.  
“You’re eating something whether you like it or not. No arguing.” She said with a smile. “Pasta?” She asked softly, looking over to him.   
“Thank you.” He said softly. Zoe gave him a nod as she dimmed the lights slightly as it was starting to make the headache worse. She put some pasta on then made two coffees.  
She handed him a mug and then cleaned up a little before going through to the living room with Horatio.  
“What’s bothering you honey?” She asked as she sat down with him.  
“Nothing, I’m good thanks.” He said softly.   
“Horatio, I know there’s something going on with you, I just don’t know what.” She said looking over to him with a caring expression.  
“I’m good.” He said with a smile. She looked at him for a few seconds before excusing herself to check on the pasta.  
She came back in and sat down next to Horatio.  
“I’m here for you to talk to as much as I know you’re there to talk to if I need to, okay?” She said softly.   
“I know, I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” He said looking over to her, knowing why he didn’t get very much sleep.   
“Okay sweetie” Zoe said as she sipped her coffee again and flicked the TV on low.  
She was still tired and felt like she needed sleep but then had to get up and sort out some food. She came back in with two bowls of pasta.  
“It’s nothing special, just cheese sauce.” She said as she sat down next to him and handed him the bowl with a fork.  
“Thank you, just so it happens it’s one of my favourite easy meals.” He said with a smile.  
“Same here” she said with a smile as she pulled her legs up under her.  
“It’s weird sitting here… I would have thought that the sofa would be dry by now…” She said looking over at the still damp sofa.   
“You were dripping” Horatio said casually.  
“Also, I think I owe you a back massage… I think you’ve carried me more than I’ve walked today…” She said with a small smile as she had another mouthful of pasta.  
“Not a problem, you’re not exactly hard to carry anyway, Zoe. You’ve done no damage, but I may take you up on that offer next time we have a stressful day at work” Horatio said softly with a cheeky smile, testing the boundaries between the both of them.  
Zoe laughed a little. “I think I owe you that much” she said with a smile. “If there’s anything I can ever do for you, don’t hesitate to ask. You’ve done so much for me Horatio and I cannot thank you enough.” She said with a smile as she finished her pasta.  
He gave her a nod and a smile as he finished his pasta. She went to take his bowl when he instead took hers.  
“Sit down, I’ve got this.” Horatio said with a smile as he got up and put the bowls in the dishwasher after she gave him a smile. He came back in and sat down next to her and watched the TV.  
They casually chatted and it was now dark outside. They were then suddenly engrossed in a documentary about memorable unsolved crime stories. Zoe fell asleep on the sofa and was slowly leaning more towards Horatio as she fell into a deeper sleep. By the end of the documentary Horatio was also asleep and Zoe’s head was on his shoulder while his relaxed back.   
The next morning Horatio woke up first at 7.15 he felt Zoe’s arm and hand relaxed across his thighs and head on his shoulder with her gentle, steady breath rolling over his chest and neck. He felt her chest rise and fall with every breath she took against his arm.   
He was enjoying every moment of it and didn’t want to wake her. He wanted to savour this moment as he may never get another moment like this with her again.  
He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of her hair as it filled his senses. He closed his eyes and relaxed his head back again, just taking it all in. He felt so much better.  
10 minutes later he felt Zoe beginning to wake. He lifted his head and looked over at her as she lifted her head and blinked a few times. She focused on Horatio and then looked down at her hand in his lap and quickly withdrew it.  
Her eyes widened. “Horatio, I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” She said as she sat back up and looked over at him.  
“Don’t worry about it, I fell asleep too.” Horatio said with a small smile.   
“I’m still sorry.” She said as she quickly stood up but realised she stood up too quickly.  
Horatio pulled her back down when he realised that she stood up too quickly and leant her back.   
“Get up slower, you’ll pass out otherwise.” Horatio said softly. When she recovered she looked over at Horatio and gave him a nod and a small smile.  
“I er… I need a shower, I’ll be back down in a moment. Help yourself to food and drink.” She said as she got up again and quickly exited. Horatio rubbed his eyes and woke himself up and went to make them both a coffee, it was what he used to do when they woke up, it was just a routine that he had got himself into.  
He sat back in the living room, thinking about how he just woke up and how good it made him feel. He still hadn’t heard her bathroom door open and 15 minutes passed. He knew that in the mornings she didn’t like to take long showers and it was usually just and in and out thing. He let another 5 minutes pass before deciding it’s best to go up and check on her. He knocked on her bedroom door and had no answer to warned that he was coming in. But she wasn’t in her room and he heard the shower still going.   
“Zoe?” Horatio called, not hearing much movement, he could just hear the water hit the shower floor.  
“Zoe, are you okay?” Horatio called louder with a loud knock when he then heard the shower turn off and the shower door open.  
“Er… yeah, I’ll be right out. Sorry.” She called as she darted out from the shower dripping wet, realising that she had dozed off or was day dreaming whilst standing in the shower.  
He heard her wet feet quickly pat across the tiled flooring. He began to walk away now knowing that she was okay when he heard her slip and curse loudly.   
“Zoe? Are you okay?” Horatio called with a tone of alarm in his voice.  
“Yeah” she called quietly as she sat up and began breathing heavily as her wrist caused her excruciating pain as she had taken the air cast off to wash it. He heard the pain and uncertainty in her voice.  
“I’m coming in.” Horatio warned before she yelled “no” as she tried to scramble to her feet to grab a towel.   
“Zoe you’re hurt!” Horatio said loudly.   
“I’m fine” she called back through as she tried to haul herself up but realised that she had twisted her ankle in the process, but that pain was drowned out by the pain from her wrist.   
“Zoe, do I need to call an ambulance?” Horatio called through the door.   
“No, I’m okay.” She said as she hissed with pain as she reached up at the side counter and knocked the cast off the side as she couldn’t grab a proper hold of it. Horatio heard it hit the floor.  
“Zoe, I need to come in.” Horatio said urgently as Zoë reached for the aircast but it was just out of reach.   
“No” she said as she then reached over for the towel on the towel rack, but that was also just out of reach. She groaned in pain as she reached further.  
“That’s it, I’m coming in.” Horatio said, hearing her pain. He opened the door and she instantly covered herself up with her hands and arms as best she could. He didn’t even lay his eyes on her for more than 2 seconds before grabbing the towel and opening it out and wrapping it around her. She held the towel closed as he crouched down.   
“Where are you hurt?” Horatio asked, searching her eyes.   
“My wrist and ankle” she said as she looked up at him. He took a gentle hold of her left hand and studied her wrist which was starting to swell a little more.   
“Why is everything bad happening to me now?” She said as she nervously laughed slightly.   
“Which ankle?” Horatio asked as he looked down to the both of them.   
“Left, I’ve just twisted it, that’s all.” She said as she pulled her wrist in to hold it next to her stomach in an effort to protect it.  
“I’m just going to take a look.” Horatio said as he gently felt her ankle.   
“Okay, have you got hold of the towel? I’m going to help you up, but keep a hold of it and let me do the work, okay?” She exhaled and nodded at him.  
“Can you walk?” Horatio asked.   
“Yeah” she said giving him another nod.   
“Okay, just let me do the work.” He said as he placed both of his hands under her arms.   
“3…2…1” Horatio said as he then pulled her up as she grimaced and groaned in pain as he accidently caught her wrist.   
“I’m really sorry.” Horatio said softly as she held the towel up with her right hand as she tried to protect her left wrist.  
“We’re going to go through into your room.” Horatio said softly as he placed a hand around her waist and his other on her right arm.  
“I can’t believe this is happening.” She said with another nervous laugh.   
Horatio just helped her into her room and sat her on the bed as she rested her foot, he then went back into the bathroom and picked up her cast from the floor and brought it back through with a hand towel as he dried the cast. He sat on the bed with her and gently took her hand and looked at her wrist.  
“How bad is the pain? Enough to go to hospital for another x-ray?” Horatio asked seeing the swelling.   
“No, it’s not that bad, I just landed on it, it doesn’t hurt too much now.” Zoe said looking up at him.   
“Are you sure?” Horatio asked, giving her a stern but caring look.  
“Yes” she assured him.   
“Okay, I’m going to dry your arm and put this back on, it should feel better in that case.” Horatio said softly. She gave him a nod as he picked up the towel with his spare hand and very lightly dried her arm, she grimaced a few times but put up with the pain and then he put the cast back on.  
“A lot better already.” Zoe said with a small smile. Horatio gave her a smile and a nod.  
“Now, stay there, I’ll get you some clothes.” Horatio said as he got up and picked up a top.   
“Shorts or jogging bottoms?” He asked softly looking over to her.  
“Shorts please” she asked and he gave her a nod and then pulled out a pair of shorts.   
“They won’t go with that top.” She said with a small cheeky smile. He looked round to her and raised his eyebrows.  
“What?” She asked looking happier and with a wider grin, he knew that that facial expression usually made her laugh when used in certain contexts. He pulled out some other shorts, silently asking for her acceptance.  
“Yeah, that’s cute.” She said with a smile as he walked over to her with the shorts and top.  
“Don’t get up, rest that foot, but I’m going to get you something to wear under the shorts and top.” Horatio said softly.  
She looked at him, still slightly uneasy.  
“Look, I think I’ve probably seen most of what you have in your draw, the amount of times you’ve ended up in hospital and… well…” Horatio said softly not sure where he was going with the sentence.  
“Yeah, but it’s weird, I mean my boss… in my underwear draw.” She said giving him a shyish grin.   
“Zoe, I’m not just your boss…” Horatio started to say as he looked at her tenderly.


	24. Chapter 24

“I’m also a good friend and you’d do the same for me if I slipped and fell…” He said giving her a reassuring smile. ‘He’s got me…’ Zoë thought to herself as she exhaled.  
“That’s true, fine… just don’t look at them… like… just pick out a bra and pants and don’t even bother matching them.” She said a little awkward.   
“You know me better than that Zoe, I won’t; I only want to help you.” Horatio said softly, she then gave him a nod and he quickly pulled out a bra and pants, quickly closing the draw again and then placed them on the bed with her shorts and top.   
“Do you need a hand?” Horatio asked warmly.  
“Literally?” She asked with a cheeky grin holding up her left hand. He chuckled a little as he looked down at the floor.  
“If it needs to be literally then I’m happy to help.” He said with a caring expression, looking back up at her.  
“I think I’m okay. Thank you Horatio.” She said with a smile.   
“Okay, I’m going to get some ice for your ankle, shout if you need anything.” He said and she gave him a nod. He left and closed the door after him. She got up but quickly yelped in pain as her ankle hurt as it continued to swell. Horatio heard her and walked back to her room and knocked on the door.   
“Is everything okay Zoë? Are you sure you don’t want a hand?” Horatio asked softly and waited for her response.  
“I’m okay, thank you Horatio.” She called as she sat back down on the bed and decided to put her bra and top on first which didn’t require having to stand.   
“Okay sweetheart.” Horatio said softly and then turned around and began to walk downstairs. She very slowly got up again and eased a small amount of weight onto her bad ankle, managing to change successfully. ‘Just was a little too enthusiastic to use it, that’s all.’ She thought. She sat back in the bed and picked her feet up and rested her bad ankle on the bed as Horatio knocked on her door.   
“You can come in.” She said as she felt her ankle, seeing it slightly swollen. He came in.  
“Thank you honey, you’re such an angel.” She said with a smile. He walked over and sat at the end of the bed by her feet and placed the ice on her ankle. She hissed with pain as she placed her hand over his and tried to pull it away. ‘Jesus Christ that hurts!’ She screamed at herself in her head, expecting it to sooth the ankle rather than inflict more pain.  
“Sweetheart, I need to put ice on it.” Horatio said warmly. “I know it hurts and I’m really sorry.” He said softly, looking up into her eyes.  
She gave him a nod and let go of his hand and leant back against the head board, pushing the pain to the back of her mind as it was the only way she knew how to control and withstand painful stimulus.  
“I’m going to pop home soon to have a shower and change. I don’t want to leave you on your own though, so I can have Ryan come around?” Horatio asked softly, looking at her.  
“I’m sure I can manage to be left on my own for a while… I mean, if I stay in bed surely nothing else bad can happen?” She said looking at him with a small smile.  
“As long as you’re sure?” Horatio said softly.   
She gave him a nod and a smile. “Thank you” she said sweetly.  
“Right, keep that on your ankle and I expect to see it there when I come back, okay? You know where I am if you need me.” Horatio said softly with a smile.  
“Okay, I’ll see you later.” She said and he gave her a nod and smile as he got up and left after he checked that she was okay. She put the TV on and sat back, falling back to sleep.  
Horatio came back about 30 minutes later but let her sleep and took the ice off her ankle and looked at it. It looked a lot better. He went downstairs and fell asleep himself and then his phone rang.   
“Horatio” he answered, half asleep and dazed.  
“Horatio, it’s Nathan. I was just calling to get an update on Zoe?” He asked with a smile.  
“Nathan, erm… she’s okay, she’s sleeping at the moment, she slipped in the bathroom this morning and had twisted her ankle but it seems to be okay.” Horatio said as he sat up on the sofa, waking himself up.  
“Are you sure she slipped and didn’t pass out?” Nathan asked softly.  
“Yes, she slipped. She’d just got out of the shower and was in a rush and slipped on the floor. I was going to phone you as I spoke to her about Friday, she doesn’t seem to remember any of it.” Horatio said running his hand through his hair.  
“Okay. That could be something like defence mechanisms, protecting her from the memories. I’m not surprised with the amount of stress she was put under. It’s nothing to worry about and is probably doing her some good.” Nathan said softly.  
“Okay, I thought I’d say something anyway because I wasn’t sure what was going on and she isn’t either.” Horatio said as he looked around and at the clock.  
“It’s good to ask, if you have any queries or anything, don’t be afraid to ask. She’s still in recovery and there may be a few questions to come.” Nathan said tiredly as he sat on his sofa at home. Horatio quickly glanced up at the clock on the wall and rose his eyebrows.  
“Thank you.” Horatio said shocked that he had fallen asleep for 3 and a half hours.  
“I’ve also had to change her appointment time tomorrow, can you make it around 4.30?” Nathan asked.  
“That should be fine.” Horatio said as he looked around and over to the stairs as he heard Zoe cough.  
“Okay, I’ll see you both tomorrow, don’t hesitate to ring if you need anything.” Nathan said as he relaxed on his sofa.  
“Thank you Nathan.” Horatio said as they both hung up. He got up and went out to the kitchen to get her a glass of cold water and then walked upstairs and knocked on her door as he heard her cough once more.  
“Come in.” She said and then took her inhaler twice and placed it on the side.  
“Okay?” Horatio asked as he walked over and handed her a glass of water.   
“Yes, thank you.” She said with a smile as she took the glass. “Thanks.” She said with a smile as she sipped the water.  
“How are you feeling?” He asked.   
“A lot better than yesterday, but still tired.” She said with a smile as she placed the glass on the side, misjudging it and accidently dropping it on the floor. She exhaled violently while her stress levels elevated.   
“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, it’s only water.” Horatio said as he pulled a small hand towel from the closet and cleared up as best he could and picked the glass up. ‘Just forget that ever happened, you’re fine.’ She thought to herself, hearing Horatio’s gentle words.  
“How about you?” She asked, blocking out her problem with hand-eye coordination.  
“I’m good.” Horatio said with a smile.  
“Horatio, you look just as tired as I feel. Go and get some decent sleep honey.” She said with a caring expression.  
“I’m not tired, I just woke up from sleeping myself, which is why I look tired. Don’t worry about me sweetheart.” Horatio said softly with a smile.  
“I worry about you just as much as you worry about me” she said giving him a caring smile.  
He gave her a small shy smile as he looked down at the floor. ‘Does that mean she has feelings for me? Or is it just her friendly nature?’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Could I be cheeky and ask for another favour please?” She asked giving him a cheeky grin.  
“Of course” Horatio said softly looking up at her, admiring her cheeky grin.  
“In the first aid kit there’s a support band, could you please grab it for me? It’ll help my ankle.” She said giving him a soft, warm smile.  
“Certainly” he said with a smile as he walked out and quickly returned with the support bandage.  
“Thank you honey” she said with a smile as he handed it to her and she pulled it up over her ankle.  
“Much better” she said with a smile.  
“You have an appointment with Nathan tomorrow at 4.30, I’ll take you around 4.15pm unless I can’t get away from work in which case Ryan will take you.” Horatio said softly.  
“Okay, thanks.” She sat there thinking to herself.  
“Has it been a week already?” She asked confused.  
“No, Nathan moved your appointment closer as you were quite unwell on Friday.” Horatio said softly.  
“Oh okay.” She said giving him a nod in understanding. She then looked over to the window where the curtains remained closed.  
“Erm… Horatio?” She asked as she looked back around to him, looking a little shy as she entwined her fingers and looked down at her hands.  
“Yes sweetheart?” Horatio replied warmly, waiting for the question.  
“This morning…” She said as she looked down, over at her ankle continuing to play with her fingers.  
“Yes…” Horatio said, giving her the go ahead for the question.  
“You… you didn’t see anything, did you? When you came in?” She asked looking up at him nervously.  
“No I didn’t sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He said softly, giving her a caring look.  
She gave him a small forced smile and a nod. ‘Did he really not see anything? Could I get anymore embarrassing?’ She thought to herself.  
“Sweetheart, don’t worry about it.” He said assuring her. She gave him more of a nod and smile.  
“Coffee?” She asked as she swung her legs round and stood up.  
“Before you say anything, I’m not staying in bed all day long.” She said with a cheeky smile.  
He gave her a slightly boyish smile. She tried to tie the draw strings on her shorts as she thought that she’d be able to do it now. She exhaled and put her head in her hands, feeling upset because she still couldn’t do a simple task like that.   
“It’s okay sweetheart, you just need to ask. I don’t mind.” Horatio said walking over to her. She swallowed and looked up at him shyly.   
“Why can’t I do it?” She questioned.  
“I don’t know sweetheart, perhaps it’s just one of those things.” He said softly as he gestured towards the strings. She nodded with a shy expression. He quickly tied them up and gave her a reassuring smile.   
“Thank you, I’m sorry.” She said looking down, feeling embarrassed, softly biting her lip. ‘She’s biting her lip again, she doesn’t know what it does to me.’ He thought to himself.  
“Not a problem and don’t apologise. It’s perfectly fine.” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand on her shoulder. She nodded and gave him a small smile and then she walked out, with Horatio following her closely. Her ankle hurt slightly, but nothing to stop her from walking on it.   
She got through to the hall and stopped, looking down towards the rest of the rooms. Horatio stopped behind her a little confused.   
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” He questioned, afraid that she was about to pass out or blackout. She didn’t even hear him speak to her, instead she took a step down the hall and seemed to stare at nothing.   
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Horatio questioned, reaching out for her but before he made any contact with her, she’d quickly moved forward, making her way down the hall.  
“Zoë?” Horatio asked, growing concerned as he followed her up the hall. He watched her tilt her head as she stopped at the farthest door and turned to her right, looking at the closed, white hard-wood bedroom door. He stopped short of her and saw the confusion and concentration on her face, as if she was trying to work something out.   
She reached out to the door handle and took a firm hold, looking down at her hand as she felt the cold metal against her palm. ‘What’s she doing? Why isn’t she answering me? Is she ignoring me, or is she in her own world?’ Horatio questioned, unsure of what she was doing. He watched her open the door and let go of the handle as she flicked the door open and looked into the room. She took a deep breath as her eyes trained on a specific spot in the room. He saw the intensity in her eyes and glanced in at the room himself, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary - just a normal bedroom.  
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Horatio questioned as he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder, extremely worried about her. She sharply inhaled as she turned around and looked up at Horatio.   
“Horatio… I’m sorry.” She mumbled, looking startled.   
“Don’t worry sweetheart, are you okay?” Horatio asked softly as he searched her eyes. She nodded as she quickly looked back into the room and exhaled. She swallowed and then pulled the door closed. She looked down at the floor as Horatio looked at her for an answer for what had just happened. She quickly glanced up at him and gave him a small forced smile and then moved around him and walked back down the hall. Horatio turned and watched her walk, a little gingerly as if she was a little shaken up.   
“Zoë, talk to me sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Horatio questioned softly as he briskly walked down the hall and placed his hand on her lower back.   
“Nothing, everything’s good.” She said confidently, looking round to him. ‘Her eyes are telling me that she’s okay, but her body language is telling me different. What one am I supposed to believe?’ Horatio questioned softly in his head.   
“I’m really okay honey.” Zoë said, seeing him try to read her. Horatio gave her a nod, believing her eyes, most likely because he wanted to believe that she was okay.   
They walked through into the kitchen and Zoe put the kettle on and pulled out two mugs.  
She made coffee and they went and sat in the living room, Zoe sat in her usual seat now that it was dry.   
They chatted for a while as the TV played in the background. Zoe could feel her mood drop as her emotions went stir crazy, perhaps induced by the frustration caused by not being able to tie her shorts up but she wasn’t entirely sure. Her mood was changing and she was trying to fight it, Horatio noticed a change in her behaviour.   
“I’ll be right back Horatio.” She said as she quickly got up and went upstairs and splashed her face with cold water and tried to keep herself calm. ‘Just take a deep breath’ she thought to herself. She felt the full effect of her mood now, when the deep breath did nothing to hinder her foul mood which only stressed her out. She went downstairs and picked up a bar of chocolate from the kitchen and went back into the living room.   
“Sorry about that.” She said with a small smile. “Chocolate? I need some chocolate.” She said as she sat back down, trying her very best to hide her mood and keep it cool between them.  
“Are you feeling okay Zoe?” Horatio asked, seeing her stressed.  
“Yeah… no… I don’t know.” She said as she sat back and ran a hand through her hair, dropping the chocolate bar to the sofa, not wanting to eat it any longer. ‘What’s going on, I thought I was over this crap?’ She questioned as she looked down at her hands as they entwined together.   
“What’s wrong?” He asked softly, looking over at her very calmly and compassionately.  
“It’s nothing.” She said with a dismissing and forced smile as she glanced up at him.  
“Zoe, I know something’s wrong.” Horatio said cautiously, seeing the slight moodiness in her eyes. He knew she was holding back. ‘He’s seeing right through me? How can he do this? No-one can or could ever read me as well as he can! Perhaps it’s because my moods have been exacerbated since the hospital? He can’t just read me like that for no-reason. Not even Mike could read me that well.’ She thought to herself. She exhaled and rolled her lips a little, spreading the lip balm. She glanced up at him and saw him waiting for her response. ‘He’s not going to let this go, I know he won’t.’ She thought to herself as she once again exhaled.  
“It’s just my hormones Horatio, it’s fine. I’m on the pill and I missed my pills when I was in the hospital and now I’m trying to get back into the routine again.” She said with a small smile, surprised at how easily she could talk with him about personal things, such as the pill and feel so at ease.   
‘Oh God, he’s going to think that I sleep around now, just because I’m on the pill. Why don’t men understand that a lot of women actually use the pill to control their periods?’ She thought to herself, self-conscious of his view of her as her insecurities set in, not feeling so at ease anymore.  
Horatio gave her a nod and then froze, realising that she wouldn’t have taken any of her pills after they spent the night together. She saw the change in his face. ‘Oh no, he really does think that. He thinks I’m some sort of slut…’ She thought to herself.   
“Er, I only take the pill to control my… monthly’s, the cramps and it calms my hormones, usually.” She said, wanting to clarify that she wasn’t sleeping around. Horatio swallowed, not even hearing her comment. ‘She didn’t take her pills? She didn’t take her pills…’ Horatio thought to himself.  
“Horatio, are you okay?” She asked with a small smile.  
“Yes, I’m fine.” He said with a smile back at her as she studied the look of concentration on his face.  
“Horatio, what are you thinking?” She asked raising an eyebrow, becoming slightly confused as her moodiness began to cease, slowly.  
“Nothing sweetheart” he said, dismissing it. ‘If she was pregnant, she’d know… wouldn’t she? Then again… she’d have no reason to suspect it as she doesn’t remember us.’ He thought to himself.  
‘Does he think I’m pregnant?’ She questioned herself, trying to judge his facial expression.  
“Horatio, you better not be thinking what I think you’re thinking…” She said looking at him as he snapped out of his daze. ‘If he thinks I’m pregnant, does that mean he knows or thinks that the sex kit was wrong? Does he think that Ratner had actually…? This can’t be true… the sex kit said so, he said so.’ Zoë thought to herself, quickly losing herself in her thoughts.  
“Sorry?” He asked looking over at her softly then looked down at her stomach involuntarily. He had just confirmed what she thought he was thinking of.   
“Horatio, I’m not pregnant!” She said with a small laugh, attempting to brush it off smoothly. “I just missed some of my pills.” She said looking at him, trying to reassure him.   
He just looked at her, ‘I need to tell her, there’s the potential that she’s pregnant and she wouldn’t know. This needs to be cleared up now.’ Horatio thought to himself.   
“Zoe... I–”  
“Horatio, I’m not pregnant. Nothing happened when they took me, that’s what you told me.” She said as she stood up, beginning to get stressed. ‘Is he telling me that Ratner… is he really telling me this?’ Zoe questioned herself.  
“Yes… but–”  
“I’m not pregnant, just trust me. There’s no chance.” She said as she turned around and ran a hand through her hair and then back around to him as he stood up and walked over to her, she exhaled and tried to calm herself down but found her stress levels elevate higher. ‘Why would he think this? He must know that the sex kit was wrong? He would have told me though! He would have told me sooner. But I know I’m not pregnant.’ She thought to herself.   
“Sweetheart, you’re not giving me a chance to speak.” Horatio said very calmly and warmly, looking over at her with a tilted head. ‘What if he IS trying to tell me that the sex kit was wrong? I’d rather not know!’ She thought.   
“I’m… I’m sorry Horatio…” She said as she ran her hand through her hair again, he saw how defensive she was getting and it was clearly upsetting her.   
“Zoe… I–” Horatio said as he once again accidently looked down at her stomach.  
“Horatio, I’ve been through this with Nathan already.” She said as she turned around and put her face in her hands, trying to stay calm but remembering the terror she felt when Nathan first said it to her.   
“Please, if you were going to tell me that the sex kit results were wrong, I’d rather not know, but I’m not pregnant, the test was negative.” She said turning back around to him and making brief eye contact with Horatio.  
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. The… the sex kit wasn’t wrong, you were not assaulted sweetheart.” Horatio said trying to make eye contact with her. She looked up at him when he said the kit wasn’t wrong. She swallowed and made a little more eye contact with him.  
“When we went to see Nathan last and he walked out of the office, he was getting a pregnancy test. I thought… I thought that the sex kit was wrong and that Ratner… had… it destroyed me Horatio, I didn’t know what to think… the potential for his… to be–” She cut herself off as she looked up at the ceiling and a large lump developed in her throat, feeling the same emotion she felt in Nathan’s office.   
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Horatio said as he pulled her in and wrapped his protective arms around her as she placed her small arms around his waist.  
“You could have spoken to me if you had any doubt, sweetheart.” Horatio said quietly against her head.   
“I didn’t have any doubt until Nathan looked concerned… then everything went off in my head.” She said as he gently rubbed her back.  
‘I should have come straight out with it to begin with, she wouldn’t have gone through that otherwise.’ A lump in his throat developed as he empathised with her.  
“Okay sweetheart. It’s okay, I’m really very sorry for asking.” Horatio said, feeling terrible for putting her through it again.   
“You weren’t to know.” She said quietly as she moved her head more towards his shoulder.   
‘Should I come clean with her now? How much more is she going to have to go through? What good will it do if I do tell her? It could make things so much worse.’ Horatio thought to himself.  
“Can we keep this between us please?” She asked as she pulled away from him a little.  
“Of course” Horatio said softly as he placed his hand on the side of her face and looked into her eyes. She felt his calmness transfer into her as she took a deep breath.   
“Thank you.” She said sincerely.  
“It’s okay.” Horatio said caringly.  
“I’m really sorry for cutting you off as well, I just… I guess I didn’t want to hear a repeat of what Nathan and I spoke about.” Zoe said softly as she pulled her hands away from his waist.  
“I understand, don’t worry about it sweetheart, it’s water under the bridge and all is forgotten” Horatio said softly, quite glad that she did cut him off otherwise he could have said something that would have landed him right in the middle of something when she’s in a slightly hormonal mood.   
“Don’t worry; I think my hormones are sorting themselves out finally, you don’t know what it’s like being a woman…” She said with a chuckle and a smile.  
“But I know what it’s like being around a woman with hormonal issues…” He said with a boyish grin, again testing the boundaries. She laughed at his comment and brushed his arm with her hand and she grinned at him, happy again.  
“Cheeky.” She said. “You have your stressy moments too don’t forget.” She said with a cheekier grin.  
Horatio chuckled a little and moved his hand to her shoulder agreeing with her.  
“Do you want some lunch?” She asked looking over at him.  
“I mean, you’re having lunch.” She corrected herself as she went out into the kitchen as Horatio chuckled a little more, following her out.  
She made them both some lunch and they ate it.  
The rest of the day passed uneventfully until Horatio went to leave.   
“Horatio, do you think it’s wise if I go into work tomorrow?” She asked unsure herself.  
“It’s up to you and whether or not you feel like it?” Horatio asked softly, looking over at her.  
“I do… I think...” She said looking up at him.  
“Tell you what; you decide when you wake up tomorrow. I don’t mind if you stay at home, equally I don’t mind if you come in. It depends on how you feel.” He said with a smile.  
“Okay, thank you honey.” She said with a smile. “Thank you so much for everything Horatio.” She said as she gave him a warm hug before he left.   
“Really, thank you.” She said sincerely.  
“It’s my pleasure sweetheart.” Horatio said as they broke from the hug and they gave each other a smile.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She said with a smile as Horatio stepped out the door.  
“See you tomorrow, if you need anything, ring me. Okay?” Horatio asked.   
“Certainly” she said as Horatio walked back to his and Zoe closed the door.  
Monday morning quickly came around and Horatio popped over to Zoe’s to find that she wanted to come in, but was only on desk duty and definitely not in the field, not matter how much she wanted it.   
They both agreed to it and got through the day quite quickly and without any mishaps or anything particularly bad happening to them. Zoe got on really well with both Eric and Ryan, usually she wasn’t so close with Eric, but she really enjoyed his company. She was good friends with him normally, but nowhere near as close with him as she was with Ryan. She was slowly getting closer with him, ever since she went through the situation; she seemed to get on with him more and more.  
4.05pm quickly came around and she walked over to Horatio’s office to see if he was free or if Ryan needed to take her.  
She knocked on his door.  
“Come in.” Horatio said as Zoe walked in and looked over at him.  
“Zoe, let me just do one last thing and I’ll meet you in the lab in 2 minutes.” Horatio said with a smile.  
“Sure thing” she said with a smile as she left and went back into the lab and stood by Eric as she watched what he was doing.   
“Ryan…” She said as she walked around to him with a grin.   
“Yes?” Ryan asked raising an eyebrow, hearing the playful and mischievous tone in her voice.   
“Oh no, never mind.” She said with a smile as she turned back around and carried on looking at what Eric was doing.  
“Oh thank God you’re leaving early today.” Ryan said with a very cheeky smile.  
“Why’s that Mr Wolfe?” She said as she strolled back around to him raising her eyebrows.   
“Because you’re in that mischievous and hyperactive mood… I always end up in the middle of something when you’re in that mood…” Ryan said crossing his arms, grinning at her.  
“You know, you can just be happy, without the mystery…” Ryan said grinning at her.  
“Well that wouldn’t be fun would it?” She said with a grin.  
“Fun? I think you’re definition of fun and mine are two completely different things.” He said still with his arms crossed.  
“Aww, is it that time of the month again?” She said with a smile and then turned around and walked back over to Eric.  
“Why can’t you direct some of this at Eric, we can share the load?” Ryan pleaded, but still wanting her to carry on teasing him, he’d missed it dearly.  
“Because poor Eric is actually doing some work.” She said with a grin and then Eric looked up at her and gave her a smile.  
“That’s your excuse?” Ryan asked.  
“There’s plenty more reasons pretty boy, I can write you a list if you really want.” She said with a smile.  
She leant on the desk by Eric and looked up at Ryan, while he got a clean look right down her top and subtly looked.  
“Are you actually doing work?” She asked.  
“I was and then you came back in and distracted me.” Ryan said looking at her with a cheeky smile, he was edging her along to bite back harder each time. He loved it really when she was in her playful mood.  
“I distracted you? You don’t know the meaning of distraction…” She teased.   
“Oh I do…” Ryan said quietly as he again subtly looked down her top. “So Eric can work through this distraction and you can’t?” She teased more as she stood up straight.  
Horatio had quietly walked in while she playfully stared at Ryan, trying to figure out his reply. Horatio saw the stance Zoe was holding and knew she was in one of ‘those’ moods and coupled with Ryan’s facial expression, he knew she was messing with him. It was the first time she’d seen her stand like that since she was unwell and in hospital and it brought a smile to his face.  
“Ready?” Horatio asked when he stood up a few meters back from her. She literally jumped out of her skin and turned around as she began to laugh.  
“You know, one day I’m going to get you by doing that.” She joked as she composed herself.   
“Oh I don’t think so.” Horatio said softly with a small smile.  
“It’s on.” She said with a huge smile.  
She picked her bag up and placed it over her shoulder. Horatio held the door open for her as she said bye to Ryan and Eric and then walked out.   
Ryan and Eric both saw the genuinely happy smile on Horatio’s face; a smile appeared across their faces as they saw him completely happy, and they knew he deserved the happiness. Ryan realised just how much Horatio deserves Zoë, he realised just how much she deserves him. ‘I need to back off her, Horatio doesn’t deserve anything like having to see her with another man. He deserves her, she makes him so happy and they aren’t even together, I can’t imagine what they had before this all happened.’ Ryan thought to himself. They both watched Zoe walk out followed by Horatio as both of their eyes dropped to her ass. ‘You just told yourself you were going to back off her!’ Ryan scolded himself.  
‘But you’re technically doing nothing but looking… looking is harmless.’ Ryan’s subconscious screamed at him and he gazed at her ass once more.   
‘Now that is a distraction’ they both thought. When Horatio and Zoe got in to the lift both Ryan and Eric cleared their throats and carried on with work, feeling slightly awkward around each other as they knew that each other ogled her ass as she walked out.   
Zoe and Horatio went over to the hospital in Horatio’s car and chatted along the way. Horatio savoured the smile on Zoe’s face and then they walked in. They began to walk up the stairs.  
“Horatio, can you come in with me this time please?” She asked shyly.  
“Of course if that’s what you want?” Horatio asked her lightly and she nodded at him and gave him a small smile.   
“Anyway, you know more about what’s gone on the past few days than I do.” She said with a smile as they carried on walking up the stairs.  
Horatio gave her a smile and a nod. They both walked out onto Nathan’s floor and knocked on his door and he let them in. Horatio looked to her for permission again and she gave him another nod.  
Horatio closed the door after them. They sat down as they all chatted about Zoe and her recovery and the past few days. Horatio didn’t go into detail or even mention Friday as Nathan already knew everything about the day and Horatio didn’t want to cause Zoe any unnecessary stress.   
“How do you feel in yourself Zoe?” Nathan asked.  
“I feel good I suppose, I mean… I’m still having a few problems with hormones but other than that, I think everything is good.” Zoe said looking over at Horatio.  
“You passed out Saturday, remember?” Horatio said, mentioning it.  
“Yeah that’s because of the migraine though.” She said looking over at Nathan.  
“Okay, how is it going with these blackouts?” Nathan asked the both of them.  
“The last one was when I pulled you out of the pool, I think.” Horatio said to Zoe. ‘Was that episode the other day when she walked down the hall a blackout?’ He questioned himself in his head.  
“I don’t remember getting into the pool Nathan, or why.” She said to him.  
“Okay, I’ve spoken to Horatio about this one and I think it’s to do with stress. So my advice is to avoid stress and you’ll recover and episodes like this will calm down.” Nathan said softly, she gave him a nod in understanding. He then gave her a check over and assessed her psychologically. He couldn’t find a fault.  
“Okay, see me in another week, and I’ll have another check over. Meanwhile, no high-stress situations and no driving, you can go back out into the field, but only if you feel up to it and if it’s not a very stressful situation. Okay?” Nathan asked.  
“Yes, that’s fine, thank you Nathan.” She said with a happy smile.  
Another week passed and they were back in his office before they knew it.  
Zoe had been well the next week, she didn’t seem to have any more blackouts and her emotions had sorted themselves out. She had a good week at work and things continued to improve for her as Horatio began to find it increasingly more difficult to accept that she’s not going to remember the two of them. But he carried on, trying to do his best by Zoe and help her in any way he can do.  
She was eventually allowed to drive and go back to her entire job, once her mechanisms for stress improved back to the quality they used to be like. But no matter how much she recovered, she still felt like there was something missing or that something wasn’t quite right, but could never put her finger on it. They all knew that there was still something not quite right with her, but they accepted it and gradually got used to her and her slightly different characteristics.

 

The End


End file.
